Before and After
by Shaddic
Summary: This is the story of Mike and Mal's past before Mike was adopted by the Skinners and what took place after.
1. Birth

_**Author's Note:**__ This is my personal headcanon about Mike and Mal when Mike was a kid. This story is split into two parts: part 1 is done in first person perspective from Mal's point of view and is very dark, part 2 is in third person and is much lighter. __This story is very different from most Mike and Mal headcanons. You may not agree with all or parts of it, and that's okay, I hope you can still enjoy it all the same. _

**Part 1: The Wise Family**

**Prologue**

Mal isn't one you'd expect to hear truth from. That isn't to say he always lies, but he does have a strong tendency towards deception. But there is one lie that he has been telling everyone, and himself, for years.

That he started out as a blank slate.

Mike believes that he didn't give Mal a personality when he first came to be inside his mind. He was his first, and his existence was unintentional. Unlike the others, Mal had no backstory or even a name. He was a personality without a personality.

But that simply is not true.

Mike did give him a personality, but it was the most tragic one of all. When Mal gave Mike back the memories he had taken and held onto for so long, he made sure to keep the ones that revealed his true identity, because really, it was never his identity at all. It was stolen from another.

Though Mal's past is one of pain and misery and fear, it does not haunt him. The crimes he committed throughout his life do not haunt him. Those who know him believe him to be untouchable, unreachable, but there is one thing, and one thing only, that haunts him. And that is his true name. Only one of Mike's alternate personalities knows his true name, but she keeps his secret, not to protect him, but to protect Mike. The rest know him only as Mal, the name he gave himself. What would they do if they were allowed to remember the truth? What would Mike do? We will never know, because Mal held on to that secret and kept it hidden his entire life.

To find out his secret, we must go back to the very beginning, when Mike's personalities first became more than just ideas, more than just imaginary friends.

* * *

My first memory is of darkness.

It took a long time to discover that I existed, that I had a body, that in my own way, I was alive. It took even longer to form thoughts, and to process the new sensations around me.

I couldn't see anything, but I was aware of my body. I wiggled my toes, and waved my hands above my head. I was sitting down, but when I tried to stand, I found that I was in a very small place, and I had no room to move around.

I didn't know any words yet, but I could find them in my head if I looked hard enough. As I searched for a way out of the dark space, two words came to me: wood, and door. There was a wooden door, and a door meant an exit. But it would not open, and a third word came to me: locked.

It didn't even occur to me then to ask for help, because I had no words, and I hadn't yet realized that I had a voice to speak with. So I sat there in the dark and quiet, wondering if I was to stay here forever. I began to believe that there was nothing else, that the world consisted of me, only me, the locked door, and the dark. I was frightened and confused, but I didn't know what to do about it, so I did nothing.

I had no concept of time then, and so I have no idea how long I was in there. I became aware of a painful sensation in my stomach, and my throat was dry, but I could not understand why.

But then the door opened and I tumbled out. I landed on my back, and I shielded my eyes against something painful. What was it? I was sure it had a name. Ah yes, light. It was so bright after so long in the dark.

I looked at my surroundings. At the time I had no words for any of what I was seeing, but looking back I saw a living room connected to a kitchen. The floor was hardwood, and the couches were made of leather. It was a lovely house.

"You may come out now, Mike," said a woman. She had light, curly brown hair.

"Who's Mike?" Those were my first words. I didn't know how I had made sound, it seemed to come naturally. I found that I liked the sound of my voice, I liked making sound.

The woman looked down at me disdainfully, and I wondered if I had done something wrong. "Go to your room, Mike, and don't let me hear a sound."

I tried to stand and walk, but I didn't know how to make my legs work, so I fell on my face. I decided to crawl, instead.

"What are you doing, child? You're five years old, act your age. Get up and walk!"

My arms and legs were asleep from being in such a cramped space for so long, and I was new to the whole walking thing, but I didn't dare disobey. I didn't know this woman, but she seemed familiar, and something about her told me to be wary around her. I pulled myself up on my hands and knees, and then I stood to my feet. I forced them to move, and I managed to keep my balance enough to walk up the stairs. I had no grace, but at least I could walk.

I don't know how I knew, but I was able to find my room without any difficulty. There were two beds, I sat down on the smaller one, not knowing what else to do with myself.

I looked at the room I was in. The walls were stark white, and there was a single window. Outside I could see the sun and other houses. All this seemed familiar to me. The floor was carpeted, and there were no toys. The room was very clean.

The woman had called me Mike, and though the name wasn't mine, it sounded very familiar. Did I have a name? I was sure I did, but at the moment I couldn't think of it. I didn't know who I was, where I was, or why I was here.

The woman brought me half a sandwich and a glass of milk not long after. She opened the door and set the plate on the floor and then left without a word. Without really understanding why, I lunged for the food and scarfed it down ravenously. Once it was all gone, I wanted more, but the pain in my stomach wasn't as bad and my throat was no longer dry. I was now able to form thoughts easier, and the words hunger and thirst came to me.

I felt a presence in my head, and then I remembered. This body does not belong to me. I didn't fight the presence, and it took back control of the body. I could no longer move my arms or legs, I was powerless inside his mind. It was a huge relief, I didn't know what to do with a body.

"How did I get back in here?" As soon as I heard the voice, I knew that this was Mike.

Memories instantly came flooding back to me, confusing at first, but then they all came together like a puzzle and seemed to make sense. I knew exactly who I was. My name was Jake, and Mike was my big brother. This was the room we shared, and I was sitting on my bed. How could I have forgotten? It seemed so silly that I had forgotten. But why was I in Mike's mind? I had no idea, but I was sure he would know. He was older and smarter than me, he always answered my questions. Maybe he could tell me what was going on. I wasn't sure how to speak to him yet from in here, but I was determined to learn.

* * *

I slept for a long time, but I don't know how long. All I know is that the next time I was in control of the body, it was not my doing. I was suddenly thrust into control, just in time to feel a fist collide with my cheek.

"Answer me when I ask you a question!" a man yelled at me. He looked kind of like an older version of Mike.

I had no idea what he had asked, or who he was, or what I had done to make him so angry. All I knew was that this man was dangerous, and I was terrified. I made a run for it, and I was almost to the door, but he grabbed me by the neck and threw me to the floor.

He hit me again when I didn't speak. I had not known pain before this and I hoped I would never experience it again. I covered my face with my arms to try to protect myself, but it offered little protection.

"You had better answer me right now, or so help me I will break your arm," he growled. "I've done it before, I'll do it again. Now, tell me why you smashed my CDs!"

I frantically searched my mind for the answer so that he might let me go. I found a memory that seemed to match with his question and blurted it out.

"Mommy smashed them!" So that was who the woman was, Mike's mommy. My mommy. And this man was Daddy. "She got mad because you were gone so long. I watched her do it! I asked her not to, but she wouldn't listen! I didn't break them, please don't hurt me again!"

That was the most words I had spoken at once since moving into Mike's head, but that didn't impress him. "You little liar!"

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. I tried to block out the pain, but there was too much of it and not enough of me. Every punch, every kick, every slap, and finally, the snapping of bone made it very hard to stay awake, but I could not fall asleep, the pain was too intense for that.

Daddy eventually grew tired, but he wouldn't let me go to my room. Instead, he sent me outside to the old doghouse to sleep. My wrist hurt terribly, but at least it wasn't too cold out there.

In the doghouse, Mike's presence pushed for control again, and I gladly let him have it. He let out a loud cry of pain, but he quickly covered his mouth and stifled it to keep anyone form hearing.

"Where did these bruises come from?" he asked himself. "Oh no, is my arm broken again?"

"_Why do Mommy and Daddy hurt us?" _I was rather proud of myself for finally making contact with Mike.

"Who said that?"

"_Me. I'm here, inside your head. Why do Mommy and Daddy hurt us?" _I repeated.

"I don't know," Mike replied. "I guess I'm just bad. I try to be good, but I must be bad. Why else would they punish me?"

"_Do all parents do that to their kids?"_

"I don't know. Maybe."

"_It doesn't seem right."_

"It must be, they're my parents. Parents know everything. But who are you? Where did you come from?"

"_Mike, don't you recognize me? It's Jake, your brother."_

"Jake? But how can that be? You… you died five days ago. You're dead."

"_What's dead?"_

"It means you go away and don't come back."

"_But I'm here, I'm not gone, so I can't be dead. Aren't you glad I'm here? Are you mad at me because I accidentally used your body? Please don't be mad at me."_

"I'm not mad at you, I just don't understand how you can be back after… after what happened. Are you…are you my imaginary friend?"

"_What's an imaginary friend?"_

"It's, um… I think it's like a person only I know about and can play with. It's a make-believe person, it means they're not real."

"_But I am real, or I couldn't be talking to you."_

"Maybe you're my guardian angel. I kept praying for one to protect me from… well, just protect me. You died and went to heaven and came back as my guardian angel."

Was I really his guardian angel? Was that why I was here, to protect Mike? I didn't like that idea, I didn't want to feel pain again. But protecting him would give me purpose, and everyone has to have a purpose, or what's even the point of being alive?

"_Can I be your guardian angel and still be your brother?"_

"Yes, yes of course!"

"_Then I'll be your guardian angel, Mike. I don't want you to get hurt anymore. I'll watch over you."_

"Thank you. I've never had a guardian angel before, maybe things will be better now."

"_I hope so."_

"And I'm so glad you're back, Jake. I missed you so much, you don't know how much."

Despite the cold and the pain, Mike was able to sleep peacefully for the first time in a long time, knowing that he was safe with his guardian angel.

But what I was wondering was how I died, and how I was here now. I wasn't too concerned, but I was curious. At least I was alive at all, that was the most important thing.

* * *

The next day, Daddy left and Mommy took Mike to the doctor to put a cast on his wrist. I was scared of the doctor and Mike was too, so he was trying to make us both feel better.

"_He's going to give us a shot, I don't like shots,"_ I said.

"I don't either, but they keep you from getting sick. I had the chicken pox last year, I hate being sick."

"_What's chicken pox? Does that mean you get turned into a chicken?"_

Mike laughed. "No silly, that's just what it's called. When Mommy told me I had it, I thought I would turn into a chicken at first, too. I was afraid I was going to grow feathers and start laying eggs. I don't know why they call it chicken pox if you don't turn into a chicken."

"_Well, as long as you don't turn into a chicken, I think getting sick is better than getting shots. I cried when I had to get my shots. But you were there and you held my hand while they did it, didn't you? It didn't hurt so much with you there. I tried to stop crying, I wanted to be brave."_

"You are brave, little brother."

"Mike, who on earth are you talking to?" Mommy asked.

"Jake. He's scared of the doctor so I'm making him feel better," Mike replied form the backseat.

"Oh, okay. You two rascals have fun back there."

"After he bandages my arm, he'll probably give me a lollipop. You like the grape ones, right?"

"_Yeah!"_

"See, the doctor's not so bad. He's a little scary, but he only wants to help people. He'll make my arm feel better."

When we got to the doctor's office, Mommy said to Mike, "Now, what are you going to tell the doctor?"

"I fell down the stairs."

"Good boy. Let's go inside."

Mommy signed us in and we went to the waiting room. It was painted bright yellow with pictures of smiling children hanging on the walls. She started flipping through magazines and Mike went to play with the toys on the floor.

"These toys are so cool, I wish I had ones like them at home." Mike picked up a Superman toy and made it fly through the air over his head. He could only play with his left hand.

"_Look Mike! It's an evil dinosaur, it's going to eat Superman's head off!"_

Mike dropped Superman and picked up the T-Rex. "You be Superman, I'll be the dinosaur. Roar! I'm going to eat you and everyone else on your planet! Dinosaurs will rule the world!"

"_Oh no! The planet is in danger! Only Superman can save the day! Take this, you giant lizard!"_

Mike made Superman punch the dinosaur and he threw it back into the toybox and slammed the lid closed. "No, I've been defeated! You just wait Superman, I'll get out of here, and when I do, you'll be sorry! But for now, I call on… the monkey king to take my place!" Mike took a stuffed monkey and tackled Superman with it.

"_A hero's work is never done! You belong at the zoo, monkey king!"_

"Michael Stilleto!" a nurse called. "The doctor will see you now."

"_Do we really have to go?"_ I asked.

"Come on Mike, quit fooling around," said Mommy.

Mike got to his feet and followed the nurse to one of the patient rooms. Mike climbed on the table and swung his legs over the side. I could tell he was nervous, though he was trying to not let it show. Mommy sat down in the chair by the table, and her eyes glazed over.

"Hello, Mike," said the doctor when he came in. "How are you, buddy?"

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"Good, I'm good. Wow Mike, this is your third time to see me this year. Did you come just to visit me?"

"No, I broke my arm again. It was an accident, I was playing too close to the stairs and I tripped and fell down," Mike recited his lines like a pro.

"That's what happened the last time you came in here with a broken bone. Are you sure that's what really happened?"

"Yes, I'm just really clumsy. I'm sorry you have to put another cast on it, I'll try not to do it again."

"Don't be sorry, son, accidents happen to us all. Now, let me take a look at it."

Mike hesitantly held out his arm for the doctor to inspect. He put his hands on it and Mike cried out.

"Yup, it's broken all right. We'll have to do an x-ray to see how far the crack goes, if it's a partial break or all the way through."

Mike hated x-rays, but he didn't argue.

"_Ask if he's going to give you a shot."_

"Are you going to give me any shots?" Mike asked.

"No, all your shots are up to date."

Mike and I both let out sighs of relief.

"_It's just an x-ray, at least they won't be poking us with anything,"_ I told him.

Mike endured the x-ray and afterwards the doctor showed him the x-ray of his arm.

"The break runs clean through, I'll have to set the bone before I put a cast on. Brace yourself, it's going to hurt very much."

I took control the second before he set the bone. I screamed and bit down on my other arm as tears leaked and ran down my face. It took everything in me to not run away as fast as I could. How could this be helping if it hurt so much?

"Very good Mike, you're a trooper," said the doctor. He started putting on the cast and said, "Say, where's little Jake? Shouldn't he be with you?"

"I am Jake," I replied. "Please don't give me any shots, either."

"Pardon?" said the doctor.

"I'm Jake," I repeated. "Hi."

"Oh, I get it, you're pretending to be your little brother. Is this a game you made up?"

"No, it really is me, Jake. Why is that so hard to understand?"

The doctor just laughed it off. "You have such a wild and vibrant imagination, Mike. It's good for kids to have a healthy imagination, it keeps things interesting. Miss Stiletto, bring Mike back in three weeks so I can make sure his arm is healing properly, and bring Jake in to see me, too. It's always a pleasure to see you two boys."

"Thank you, doctor."

The doctor held out a jar of lollipops. "Pick a sucker, you earned it."

It was laughable that he thought that he could make me forget the pain of what I'd just went through with just a piece of sugar on a stick, but I took one anyway. I didn't get candy often. I chose a purple one and put it in my mouth.

"Come now, Mike," said Mommy.

I let Mike take back control as we were leaving the doctor's office. In the car, Mike took out a marker to draw on his cast. "At least it's my right arm that's broken so I can still draw. What should I draw, Jake?"

I was about to answer, when Mommy said, "Don't be ridiculous, Mike. Jakey's dead, you can't talk to a dead person."

"He's here with me right now. He came with us to the doctor. Don't you remember? He was afraid of getting a shot."

"Don't be stupid, you know better than that. Jakey's gone, I don't want to hear you talking to him anymore. He's not a ghost, he's gone, end of story."

Why was Mommy so adamant about this? On the way here she seemed perfectly fine with the idea of Mike talking to me, now she wanted him to stop? And why wouldn't she believe him? Didn't she want me back? I was her son, she should be glad to have me back. Did she not want me anymore? Did I do something wrong? Why didn't she love me anymore?

"I know you're here, Jake," Mike whispered so only I could hear. "I know."


	2. Playtime

"What do you think? Do you think it's good enough for a king?"

Mike and I were at the playground, playing in the sandbox, and Mike had sculpted a sandcastle. It was pretty mediocre, especially since he had to work around the cast on his broken wrist, but it was the best one I had ever seen, so I thought it was magnificent.

The sun had barely risen, and there were no other kids on the playground. It was one of those rare days when Mommy was in a good mood and let us outside. Mike knew because she had made him waffles, something she only ever did when she was happy. I remember eating her waffles and how delicious they were. I had already asked him why he insisted on getting up so early to play, but he wouldn't say. I would find out why later.

"_What's a king?"_ I asked. I didn't know much, but Mike was always willing to explain things to me. Earlier, he had attempted to explain the differences between the different flowers that grew around the park. They all looked the same to me.

"It's a guy who rules over other people."

"_Do we have a king?"_

"No, but other places do."

"_You think I could ever be a king?"_

"Sure you could."

Just then, some boys a little older than Mike entered the gate to the playground. I could feel Mike grow nervous, but I didn't know why.

"We should go now," he said as he stood to his feet.

"_No!"_ I replied, and without even really meaning to, I took control. I got back down in the sand. "I want to build my own castle, the biggest one ever!"

"_We really need to go," _he pleaded.

"Just a minute. We just got here, why should we leave now?"

There were three other boys, and the biggest one stood right in front of me. He had shaggy brown hair and he had on dirty jeans and a filthy white shirt.

"Hey there, pipsqueak. Whatcha doing?"

"Building a sandcastle."

"_Run!"_ Mike shouted, but I saw no reason to. I didn't understand why he was so afraid.

"Is that so? Here, let me help you."

The boy stomped on the castle I had been building, and Mike's.

"Hey! Mike worked hard on that, and I wasn't even finished with mine!"

The boy gave me a strange look. I searched for Mike in my mind to ask why, but he was nowhere to be found.

The boy grabbed me by the neck and shoved my face in the sand. My eyes burned and I couldn't breathe. He let me back up, and he and his friends started laughing and left me alone after that.

It took several minutes for my eyes to stop burning. As soon as I could see again and my eyes stopped watering, Mike came back.

"What happened?"

"_I know why you wanted me to run. I remember coming out here with you now, and how those boys would pick on us, and they still do. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, but why do they like being mean?"_

"I'm smaller than them, and they just don't like me."

"_Where did you go? Where were you? It's like you weren't even in my head anymore."_

"I don't know, I just, went away. It's like I fell asleep. I don't remember any of it. It happened when that boy came, and I got really scared. I'll try to stay next time."

"_No, no don't. It's my job to protect you. This is a good thing."_

"But I'm the big brother. It's the big brother's job to take care of the little brother."

"_But I'm your guardian angel, so I have to take care of you."_

The man who tended the garden nearby heard him talking and came up to tell him, "Don't talk to yourself, kid. That's just nutty."

"I'm not talking to myself, I'm talking to my brother."

"I don't understand parents encouraging their kids to make stuff up, it makes no sense at all."

Mike went straight home, and from that day forward, I listened when Mike told me not to do something.

* * *

Mommy was sweet and nice that day, but the very next, it was as if someone had flipped a switch.

Mike was in the bathtub when she barged in on us and started yelling at him. Most of it didn't even make sense, it was incoherent shouting. It scared Mike and he apologized over and over, but she wasn't listening.

She made him get out of the tub. He barely had time to wrap a towel around himself before she forced him out the door.

Then, the switch flipped again and she knelt down to hug him.

"My sweet little Mikey, don't ever leave mommy. You won't ever leave mommy, right?"

"I won't."

It flipped again. Her loving expression went sour, then furious. "Yes you will! You're a liar, just like your father! He tells me he loves me, but then he leaves and doesn't come back for ages. You'll be just the same, won't you?"

"I promise I won't!"

"More lies! You're an evil child Mike, I should put you to sleep, like your brother and sister."

I wasn't sure what she meant by that, and neither was Mike.

"Mommy, Jake came back."

"I told you he's dead!"

"I know he died! But he came back, he came back as an angel. He talks to me. Will Lizzie come back, too?"

"No, she won't! Jakey is gone forever because they tried to take him away from me. I kept him safe, they never got their hands on him. The baby was bad, and she's never coming back either! Are you going to be bad anymore, Mike? Do you want to die like they did?"

"No! I promise I'll be good!"

"We'll just see about that. Some time alone will do you good, we'll see how bad you are after time in the closet."

"No, Mommy, no!" cried Mike. But she wouldn't listen, and she forced Mike into the tiny closet. There was a broom and a mop, but nothing else. There was just barely enough space for Mike. No light could get in, and he was terrified of the dark. Not to mention cold from getting out of the bath.

I scrounged for a word for the way Mommy acted and came up with crazy. Yes, she was definitely crazy. Mike seemed normal, though.

"_Mike, how old was I when I died?"_

"Three. You had just turned three a few weeks before. I was teaching you new things, and we always played together."

"_How did I die?"_

"You drowned in the bathtub, and Mommy made me dig your grave. I thought I'd never see you again, but you came back. I don't know how, but you did."

A memory flashed before my eyes. Mike was carrying me, and I wasn't moving. I was wrapped in my favorite blanket, my eyes closed as if asleep. He was crying as he carried me, he carried me outside after dark and gently put me in a shallow grave in the backyard. I shuddered at it, I never wanted to think about it again.

"_Where is Lizzie? Why isn't she here with us?"_

But even as I asked, the memory came back to me. Mike was trying to take care of his baby sister, but she stopped breathing. Why had she stopped breathing?

"She died like you did, but she didn't come back."

"_Why did she die? Where is she now?"_

"I don't know, but I miss her. I'm glad I have you though. I'm not so sad with you around. Everyone should have a little brother."

I could feel Mike's fear, and I wanted it to stop. I searched for a distraction in what I had learned from him, and I found a story called The Three Little Pigs. I didn't remember the story very well so I had little to work with, but I took what I could glean and told it to him.

"_Hey Mike, you want to hear a story?" _

He had started to cry, but he said, "Yes."

"_Once upon a time, there were three little pigs and their friend, the wolf. The wolf helped each pig build a house, but he was very bad at building houses, and so they all fell down. They got mad at the wolf, and it made him sad since he couldn't make good houses, so he ran away. He decided to practice building houses by himself so that he could make it up to his friends. He built a house out of straw, but the wind blew it down. Then he made a house out of sticks, but the wind blew that one down, too. Then he made a third one, this one made out of bricks, and he sat on it so the wind couldn't blow it down. He waited for the wind to stop blowing, and then he went to get the pigs and show them the house he had made. The pigs were so happy to have a good house that they told the wolf they were sorry, and they even let him stay in the house with them, and they lived happily ever after. The end."_

Mike, in spite of everything, burst out laughing.

"_Did I do it wrong?"_ I thought it was a good story.

"No, no, it was great. I've just never heard it told that way before. I want to hear it that way from now on. Do another, another!"

"_Um, okay. Well, let's see what we have here to work with."_ I searched through my memory of stories, once again only getting bits and pieces. I couldn't be sure which bits belonged to which stories, but I did my best. _"There's one about a prince who kisses a princess and she turns into a bear that eats porridge, or one about a girl who has to guess the name of an imp, and when she guesses correctly, she gets a house made of candy. Which do you want?"_

"You pick!"

Before I started the next, I asked, _"Mike, we're more than brothers, we're best friends, right?"_

"Yeah, of course we are."

"_And we'll always be friends, right?"_

"We always will be, forever."

I didn't stop telling Mike stories until he was let out of the broom closet, which wasn't until two days later. The dark didn't bother him so much this time. I was doing a good job as guardian angel.

* * *

Mike often had periods where he would get all shaky and have trouble focusing on anything. He would get sick and throw up, or black out. He would panic and have trouble breathing, it was like he was having a breakdown. At the time I had no idea what was wrong with him, but looking back on it now, I know these to be anxiety attacks. I wasn't sure what caused them, but I had a feeling it had something to do with our parents.

I always got very scared when they happened, and they happened a lot. The best I could do was try to comfort him, beyond that I had no idea what to do. I would try to talk him through it, help him calm down. I couldn't take over for him when they were going on, and so I always felt helpless. It was always such a huge relief when his breathing returned to normal and the storm passed.

"I feel like I'm going crazy when they happen," Mike told me one day when I asked him what they felt like.

"_You're not crazy, Mike. I know you're not." _

"I know Jake, it just feels like it. I hope you never have to go through one of those, it's the worst feeling in the world."

I didn't doubt it. I never wanted to find out what it felt like to be insane.

* * *

I was very excited on my first day of preschool. Mommy dropped us off, and I was enthralled by everything I saw. There were toys and art supplies and books and kids, so many kids. I wanted so badly to take control, to experience that all for myself, but I couldn't take that from Mike. I had to settle for spectating while he did everything I wanted to do.

He went over to a box of legos and started putting them together. Another little boy and a girl came over and started building legos with him. They both had dark skin and hair like Mike did.

"Hey Mike. What happened to your arm?" the boy asked.

"Hey Brian, hi Tina. I tripped and fell down the stairs, I'm so clumsy."

"Can I draw something on your cast? Actually, I don't think there's any room, you already drew all over it. Your drawings are cool, though. What are you making?"

"I'm making a rocket ship, you want to help?"

"Sure!" said Tina. "I'll build the bottom, Brian can make the middle, and you do the top, Mike."

"Okay!" said Mike, and he eagerly got to work.

"_Make it as big as you!"_

"Jake says we should make it as big as me."

"Who's Jake?" asked Brian.

"Is he your imaginary friend?" asked Tina. "I have an imaginary friend, too. Her name's Suzy, and she's sitting over there." Tina pointed to an empty chair across the room.

"_There's nothing there."_

"Do you have an imaginary friend, Brian?" asked Mike.

"Not anymore. I did when I was four, but I gave him up. I kind of wish I hadn't, you guys must have so much fun with yours."

"_How can you just give up an imaginary friend? Where do they go?"_

"Hey Mike, Suzy wants to meet Jake. Does Jake want to be friends?"

"Do you want to be friends, Jake?" Mike asked.

"_Friends with what? That chair is empty."_

"He'd love to," said Mike.

"Suzy says hi, Jake!"

"_Am I talking to air?"_

"Jake says hi!" said Mike.

"Suzy wants Jake to have a tea party with her. Does Jake like tea?"

"_Is the tea invisible, too?"_

"Jake loves tea, he'd love to go to Suzy's tea party."

"Great! Suzy and Jake can play their own game while we build our rocket ship."

"_This girl is weird."_

Mike took longer in building his part of the rocket due to his cast, but once he was done he put it on top of Brian and Tina's parts.

"What do you think, Jake?" Mike asked.

"_It's not as big as you, but it's still pretty cool. You could fly to the moon in it."_

"Jake likes it."

"Suzy does too, but she wishes it was pink."

"Children, it's time to go outside!" the teacher announced.

"Come on guys, let's go!" said Brian eagerly.

Mike followed the other kids outside. Brian and Tina went to play with their other friends, and Mike was left alone again. He wanted to speak to the other kids, but he didn't know what to say. He could talk to people, but he wasn't good at starting conversations. At least this meant that we got to play by ourselves, it was more fun this way.

"_Mike, let's play detective. You have to look all over the playground for clues."_

Mike instantly perked up. "It's the case of the Queen's missing jewels! Only I can find them!"

"_Not if I find them first!"_

Mike ran to the swings first to look for clues.

"_Why was Tina pretending Suzy was there when she wasn't?"_

"Remember, an imaginary friend is only someone you know about. Only Tina can see Suzy, just like only I can hear you."

"_Oh, okay. That makes sense. It's still weird though."_

"I guess that's why people have a hard time believing you're really here. They can't hear you, so they don't believe me when I tell them you came back."

"_If only there was a way to prove it to them, but I don't know how."_

"I'll think of something. Hey look, a green pen cap, our first clue!" Mike picked the green pen cap out of the dirt.

"_You should go check under the slide next."_

"Good idea."

Mike ran to the slide and searched under it. "There's nothing here."

"_Wait a minute, look by the ladder. I think I saw something."_

Mike checked by the ladder. "A gum wrapper, very mysterious. I bet there are fingerprints on it. This leads me to believe that the next clue is at the merry-go-round."

Mike ran over to the merry-go-round. Three kids were spinning it round and round. Mike circled it three times before he found anything.

"A penny! We're almost there, I can feel it!"

"_The monkey bars! That's where the jewels are!"_

Mike ran as fast as he could to the monkey bars. He had to duck to avoid being hit by the kids climbing across the bars.

"_There! I saw something shiny, it must be the jewels!"_

Mike got down on his hands and knees and spotted it. It was a rhinestone.

"We did it! We solved the case and found the missing jewels!" Mike cheered.

"_Let's move onto out next case!"_

Mike was rising to his feet but suddenly froze. He got back on the ground and put his head down.

"_What is it, Mike? What's wrong?"_

Mike lifted his head just enough for me to see what he had seen. I gasped.

"_What's Daddy doing here? Is he here to hurt us?"_

"No, I think we'll be fine as long as I don't draw attention to myself," he whispered.

"_Maybe you should run."_

"No, he'll see me for sure if I do. I don't think he's noticed me."

"_I'm scared, Mike."_

"I am too."

Daddy walked right past us and went to two other children, Brian and Tina.

"Daddy!" they both shouted. They ran to him and he picked them up in a hug.

"How are my sweet darlings today? Did you have fun in school?"

"We built a rocket to go to the moon!" said Brian.

"Suzy told me a really funny joke, do you want to hear it?" asked Tina.

"Sure! You can tell it to me in the car. We're going to meet your mother at the fair."

"Yay!" they both squealed.

He carried them out of the playground, he didn't seem to notice Mike.

"_I don't understand. If he's our dad, how can he be their dad, too?"_

"I don't know. We have different moms, but the same dad. I don't know how it happened or why."

"_They really seem to love him, he's a good dad to them. Why is he so good to them and so mean to us?"_

"They must be good kids. He wouldn't hurt me if I was good. I try so hard to be good, but nothing works. I guess I'll always be bad."

"_I don't think you're bad, Mike. I think they're bad."_

"Don't say that! Grownups are smart, kids don't know anything. If they think I need to be punished, then I must deserve it."

"_I don't believe it. You're the nicest person I know, you've never done anything to deserve what they do to you."_

"Maybe I just have a bad heart, and only grownups can see it. They see that I'm bad, and they're trying to make me good again. That must be it."

"_If beating you and locking you away is what it takes to make you good, then you'd be better off bad."_

"I don't want to be bad."

"_Neither do I, but I don't want you to die, like I did. You might not come back. I don't know what I would do without you, you're my big brother."_

"I wish Dad would love me, too."


	3. The New People

Mike didn't live alone with Mommy, our grandfather lived there, too.

He was an old man, and to me, he was just as crazy as his daughter. He couldn't remember things, and he'd tell the same stories over and over. He couldn't walk either, most of the time he sat in front of the television in his wheelchair. He never spoke a word that wasn't complaining about something.

The weirdest thing about him was that he didn't recognize himself in mirrors. When I first looked in the mirror, I was surprised to see that I didn't look any different than Mike when I was in control. In my memories I looked different, but I wasn't worried. But when Grandpa looked at the mirror, he thought he was seeing another person, and he hated him.

"Get that blanket off the mirror!" he yelled one day when Mike tried to cover the mirror. He didn't like watching Grandpa argue with himself. "That man's lookin' at me, spying!"

"But Grandpa, it's just your reflection," Mike tried to explain to him.

"No, it's a man! He's plotting against me, gonna come get me one of these days! Then I'll be dead to die, long gone gone on the cold hard floor. I gotta watch him so he can't get me."

"Grandpa, please-"

"That's Chester to you! Call a man by his name. You dumb kids, always disrespecting your elders!"

Mike didn't try to cover the mirror again, but it still bothered him.

On rainy days, Mike would stay inside and color. He didn't have many toys, but he had collected as many crayons and colored pencils as he could find. He was great at drawing, I could barely draw at all.

"_What are you drawing now, Mike?" _I asked him one day as a thunderstorm raged outside. He was lying on his bedroom floor, quietly coloring with crayons.

"A person I made up. He's got huge muscles, and he's always tanned because he spends so much time working out outside. See how he's lifting weights? He can beat any opponent, no matter how big they are. He's always surrounded by girls wanting to date him, but he can't choose just one. He's the coolest guy ever."

"_Does he have a name?"_

"I haven't thought of one."

"_He should have a name. Names are very important."_

"Okay, how about… Vito! I saw a guy named Vito on TV once, he was a great surfer."

"_It suits him. Do you have any more people you've drawn?"_

"A few, I'll show them to you."

Mike went through his drawers that had more drawings than clothes. He pulled out two and showed them to me.

"This is Svetlana, she's a champion gymnast." The picture was of a tall brunette woman doing a handstand. "No one can top her, she never comes in second place. She's very proud of herself, but she's nice, too. She loves gymnastics more than anything, but she'll be your friend and look after you if she likes you."

"_Do all your characters live where we live?"_

"No, Svetlana's from another country. She can speak our language, but she has trouble using the right words sometimes, and she sounds kind of funny."

"_Why do people from other places talk funny?"_

"People from other places just talk different, I'm not sure why. I guess it would be boring if we all sounded exactly the same."

"_I guess that's true."_

"This guy comes from another country too," said Mike as he showed me a picture of a man with dirty blond hair wearing a fedora. He had a cocky grin on his face. "He spends all his time outdoors going on adventures. He comes across bad guys and wild animals that try to eat him, but he always escapes. He can survive anything."

"_He looks like a treasure hunter. Does he ever find treasure?"_

"You know what, he does! That's a great idea, Jake!" said Mike as he drew a treasure chest full of gold. "But he doesn't spend any of it, he doesn't do it for the money, he just loves the journey."

"_Maybe he spends all the money on more hats,"_ I suggested, and we both laughed. _"These characters are all so cool, Mike. How did you come up with them?"_

"Well, they've all got things I wish I had. Svetlana can do any trick on a balance beam, she's amazing. She's also very fast and athletic."

"_If you could do tricks like her, it would probably help you get away from those mean kids."_

"That's what I was thinking. And Vito is so cool and tough, with muscles like his, no one would ever dare challenge him. If I could fight like him, no one would ever bother me again. I mean, I don't want to hurt anyone, but maybe if I could defend myself they would leave me alone.

"And Manitoba's really cool, too. He always finds the hidden treasure and beats the bad guys. He's always on an adventure, never scared of anything. I wish I wasn't always so scared."

"_Mike, stop wishing to be things that you're not. You're not these people, you're just you, and that's okay."_

"I wish I wasn't just me. Just me isn't good enough for anyone, especially me."

"_I don't care if you're not any of those things. Just you is good enough for me."_

"Thanks, but I still wish I could be like them."

"Mike!" Mom yelled from outside the door. "Stop talking to yourself! It's not right!"

"_She talks to herself all the time,"_ I grumbled.

"I'll stop Mom!" Mike said, then to me, "She doesn't believe you're really back yet. I'll prove it to her somehow, but for now we need to be quiet so she doesn't get upset."

I didn't realize then that Mike meant it when he said he wanted to be like the people in his drawings. I could never have foreseen what was coming.

* * *

During the times when Mike didn't need me, when I stayed inside his head, for a long time I was all by myself. If Mike was too busy to talk to me, then it meant I was all alone. This never bothered me, I liked being the one and only.

So I wasn't exactly thrilled when I got my first roommate.

It didn't really count as a roommate, per se. The thing was horribly disfigured, its face grotesque. It couldn't speak well or form rational thought, and it could do nothing more than hang around at the edges of Mike's mind. It was only half-formed, barely existent. At the time, I didn't know what to make of it. If I was an angel, what was this thing? To this day, when I think of monsters, I still think of it.

Mike's punishments only got worse as he grew older, and even though I took as many as I could, I wasn't strong enough to take them all. Mike had to take the hits, he had to deal with the frightening dark, and I was ashamed of myself for not doing my job. But that horrid creature in his mind sometimes did my job for me. The punishments only weakened it further, and I never saw it again, though I could still feel traces of it lingering in the seams of his mind, and I could occasionally hear its screams. Mike never knew it was there, and I didn't tell him about it. It frightened me.

But that was only the beginning. Many more creatures appeared just like it. They sometimes took his punishments, but they couldn't do much beyond that. They would occasionally take control, but never for very long. Mike never remembered it when they did. Mostly they haunted his nightmares, making him thrash and scream in bed. But he always forgot the nightmares by the time he woke up.

For one year, I was the only one in Mike's head. Or at least, I was the only one that had a brain. But then Grandpa died when he was six, and I wasn't the only one anymore. This one was the first one besides me that had a brain, but he didn't use it for much besides complaining, just like Grandpa. It seemed that he took all of Mike's frustration, because Mike didn't seem to get as frustrated after he arrived.

He was a little confused when he first showed up like I was, and it made me feel smart to know things he didn't.

"_Why is the sun so bright?" _he asked after his first day on the outside._ "They should turn it down, there's no need to go blinding everyone! And those danged birds! They were so loud, and they kept getting so close to me! And who's that Mike guy everyone kept calling me?"_

"_Why are you here?"_ I asked him. _"I should be the only one."_

"_Well, ya ain't! Get used to it."_

He didn't stay confused for long, and he seemed to know more than me. It was understandable; if I was four, and he was, well, old, then of course he would know more.

I wondered about Chester, because he told stories of the past that couldn't possibly be true, but he swore by them. At first I thought he was just making it up, but he really believed his tales. I had my memories from before, but I didn't have any stories to tell.

Then came the Olympian, who actually served a purpose other than to complain about all the things in the world that couldn't be changed. She was just as annoying as Chester, because all she ever talked about was getting Mike's body in peak physical condition. She also seemed to take over his survival instincts, because whenever we were outside and Mike felt threatened, whether by bullies or if we were just in a challenging environment, she would come out and get us out of it. She was just like the girl he told me about in the picture. I didn't like either of them very much, and when I told this to Mike, he assured me that we would all be friends soon. I took his word for it, but I had trouble believing it.

Next came Vito and Manitoba Smith at around the same time. I understood why they were here; both of them were cool, tough as nails, and fearless, just like Mike wanted to be. They all looked different, they all had different body types and different colored hair. It was very interesting.

"_How are you bringing your drawings to life?"_ I asked him one day. _"It shouldn't be possible, but they keep coming!_

"I didn't do it on purpose! I mean, I kept thinking that I wished I could be like them, and then they started appearing. I don't know how I did it."

"_Don't draw any more people! We're running out of room in here."_

"I won't."

"_You told me I was your guardian angel. How many do you need?"_

"I don't know."

"_And where do they come from? If I died and came back, did they do the same? How does this all work?"_

"I don't know, Jake. But I'm not worried about it, they're just my imaginary friends, and they're your friends, too."

"_I want them to leave. Mike, why can't it be just you and me, like it used to be? We're brothers, aren't we?"_

"We still are, but now we have more friends. I'm not lonely at all anymore, aren't you happy?"

"_No, I was happy before. Or at least, more than I am now. They just take up time in your body, you don't get to be out as much. Doesn't that bother you?"_

"A little, but they're just having fun."

"_That's another thing. They only come out for fun, never to help you when our parents are being hurting you, like I do."_

"They help with the bullies. They can't catch me anymore, it's great."

"_They escape, they don't take the hurt for you, like I do. I don't come out unless you need me, they couldn't care less. I don't like them."_

"You'll get used to them. I really like them, they're my friends. I want them to stay. Just wait, you'll learn to like them, too."

It was really starting to get crowded inside his mind, but I trusted Mike, and I wanted to get along with them. But more than that, I wanted them gone.

One day, we were at kindergarten during recess. None of the other kids talked to Mike much, but with us around he didn't mind anymore.

"Oi! Lookie here, a spider!" said Manitoba as he picked up a black spider with a red stomach.

"_Manitoba, spiders are deadly!"_ said Mike.

"Aw, she can't be deadly, she's too pretty to be deadly."

I could see the swings through Mike's eyes, and I wanted to swing on them.

"_Mike, do you think we could go swing?"_ I asked.

"_Sure!"_ said Mike.

But that didn't happen. Manitoba climbed a tall tree to look at the view.

"_Manitoba, we were going to go swing," _said Mike.

"Maybe later, platypus. We've got explorin' to do!"

I didn't say anymore after that, I was used to being ignored. There were so many things I wanted to do. I wanted to draw something with crayons, like Mike. I wanted to jump on the bed. I wanted to pet an animal, I wanted to swing. I wanted to do the things I used to do, the things I remembered doing in my memories. Really, I just wanted to have fun, and make my own decisions. But I felt guilty stealing that from Mike, so I never acted on my wishes.

Manitoba spotted a mountain and took off for it. He didn't care in the slightest that Mike needed to be in school, he only cared about having adventures. I took full control from him to keep from getting Mike in trouble.

"_Hey! I was doing something! I have to see what's on top of that mountain!"_

"You can another day, but Mike can't miss anymore school days or he'll get in trouble."

"_A little trouble never hurt anyone, mate."_

I gave control back to Mike, and we went back to class.

That night when we got home, Daddy was waiting for us. He was sitting in his chair in the center of the room. It was the comfiest chair in the house, but Mike was never allowed to sit in it, not even when Daddy wasn't home. Mike saw him and was going to sneak up to his room, when he called him over.

"Hello Michael, come here, son," he said pleasantly. He never called Mike by his preferred name.

Mike didn't know what to do. There was no way he wanted to do anything but hit him, but if he disobeyed, that would make him angry. He didn't move.

"I said, come here, please." His tone was still pleasant, but slightly more demanding this time.

"_Do not be doing it, Mike!" _said Svetlana, but Mike had no choice.

"Y-Yes, Dad?" he said.

"Look at me, son."

Mike couldn't bring himself to meet his eyes.

"I said, look at me." This time, it was more of a growl.

Mike forced himself to meet his eyes, but he wanted to run.

"There, now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

Mike stayed quiet.

"So Michael, tell me about your day."

"I-I w-went to school."

"Stop stuttering."

"I-I'm tr-trying." He was so scared he could barely get the words out.

"What did you do at school?"

"I f-found some bugs, a-and I climbed t-trees."

"I said, stop stuttering. Are you scared of me, Michael?"

"I… I… I don't know," he answered, not sure what the correct answer was.

In a way, these talks were worse than the beatings themselves. He would pretend to be interested in him, pretend to care. All the while, Mike knew what was coming, and waiting for it scared him more than the pain itself. He knew it was inevitable, so he wished he would just get it over with.

"_One of us should take over,"_ I whispered to the others inside his head. _"Daddy's going to hurt him soon."_

"_I ain't goin' out there. That guy is nuts,"_ said Vito.

"_It is not our job to take ze pain for him,"_ said Svetlana. _"Ve protect him from ze bullies, but zere's nothing ve can do here. Anything ve do vill just make it vorse ven it happens. He is going to hurt, no matter who is in control when it happens."_

"_But we have to do something! Mike needs protecting."_

"_Mike can take care of himself,"_ said Chester.

"_And if anyone's gonna do it, isn't it supposed to be you, bandicoot? That's why you're here, right?"_ said Manitoba.

"_What are you talking about? I'm his brother, that's why I try to protect him. Why do you make me take it all on myself? Why won't you help?"_

"_It is not our place,"_ said Svetlana.

"Your mother tells me you've been talking to your imaginary friends a lot lately. Is this true?"

"W-Well, yes, but-"

"Didn't I tell you not to talk to them anymore? You can't talk to things that aren't real."

"Th-They feel real. They t-talk to m-me."

"Michael, you know your mother is insane, right?"

"A little."

"Do you want to be insane like her?"

"No."

"I didn't think so, but as long as you keep talking to these imaginary friends, you will be. You're only talking to yourself, son. Don't you want to be normal?"

"O-Of course I do."

"Do the other kids at school talk to imaginary friends?"

"S-Sometimes, not a lot though. N-Not as much as me."

"Exactly. You need to stop acting crazy and start acting normal. No one will like you unless you act normal. You want people to like you, right?"

"Yes."

"Yes, you do. Now, you haven't been telling people at school about me, right?"

"No, I haven't told anyone. I tell them I don't have a dad."

"Good boy, now are you going to do what I said?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"I can't hear you."

"Yes," he repeated, louder this time.

"Good, now give me a hug."

Mike didn't want to touch him in any way, but once again, he couldn't risk making him angry. Things only got worse when he was angry. He hugged his father, and for one fleeting moment, his father hugged him back. But then he gripped him by the hair and pulled, and tossed him onto the floor.

His father got several good hits and kicks on him, and I couldn't take it anymore. I took over for Mike and, unable to stop myself, I yelled, "Leave Mike alone!"

"Oh, pretending to be your imaginary friends again, are we Michael?" He gave me a swift kick to the ribcage, knocking the air out of my lungs. I coughed and gasped for air.

"I'm not imaginary!" I shouted at him. "It's me, your son, Jake!"

That surprised him and made him stop for a moment. "You're pretending your little brother is still alive?"

"It's not pretend, it's really me! Why won't you believe me?"

"You're pretending to be your dead brother. You're loonier than I thought. You're crazy, just like your mother. I'll have to try to fix it, but no promises."

Blow after blow, it seemed to never end. Why wouldn't he believe me? Mike did, why didn't he? And why did he hurt us all the time? I had seen fathers on television hugging their children and making them smile. I had seen him hug his other children, why not Mike and me? He only brought pain and terror with him when he came to visit. Why?

Finally, he stopped. He knelt down on the floor and lifted up my head by my hair. It took effort just to focus on his face. He said, "Now Michael, I don't want to here anymore of this Jacob business. He's dead, and people don't come back from the dead. Playing make believe doesn't make anything real, certainly not your dead brother. If you bring him up again, I will make you go outside and dig up his grave so you can see his bones, maybe that will convince you that he's not here. Have I made myself clear?"

I nodded yes. There was no way I was going to argue with him, not when he held all the power.

He finally let me go back to Mike's room. I had to crawl up the stairs, all the while hoping with every fiber of my being that he wouldn't change his mind.

I shut Mike's door and crumpled on the floor. I didn't want to move or even breathe, everything hurt so much.

"_Zere zere, Mike. You are okay now,"_ I heard Svetlana comforting him inside his head. I decided to stay in control for a while longer, until the pain lessened.

"One of you take the next one, I can't take another one after this, not for a while."

"_Fine, I'll do it,"_ said Vito.

It's not like I could blame them for being hesitant or outright refusing to take the pain, because who would want to suffer so much for someone else? Especially when it's someone you're not overly fond of. But at least one of them was finally volunteering, and I could get some relief.


	4. No Escape

Vito and Svetlana were taking turns having control one day on the mountain near Mike's house. We had been here several times before, and I did love it up here. Manitoba brought us up here whenever we needed to just run away and get away from everything and everyone for a while. Vito would do sit-ups and pushups, and Svetlana was trying out some Chinese acrobatics she had seen on TV. Both built muscle tone, so they didn't mind taking turns. Mike was eight now, which meant I was six. I still didn't like the others, but I tolerated them better now.

"_Guys, let Jake have a turn!"_ said Mike. _"He never gets to have any fun."_

"_I don't need to come out, Mike. I don't want to take control from you."_

"_I don't mind, you should get a turn, just like everyone else. Svetlana, Vito, let Jake come out."_

"Later!" said Svetlana. "It has been eternity since Svetlana got to stretch her muscles. Zis body vill not be keeping itself in shape."

"_I'm sorry Jake, I promise you'll get a turn later,"_ said Mike.

I doubted it. When the others wanted something, they took it, and Mike was a pushover. He would do anything to keep the peace between us.

Since I had nothing better to do, I secretly took one of Mike's memories. You would expect him to notice, but he never did. I started doing this a year and a half ago, taking memories of the abuse so he wouldn't hurt so much. I made sure not to take any memories that would leave him confused, but he didn't need all those memories of Daddy hitting him or being locked in the dark. And it did seem to help, he didn't seem as sad now. It was harder on me, but it was worth it.

"_Quit getting so close to the edge!"_ said Chester. _"You trying to kill us?"_

"Svetlana never falls, she alvays lands on her feet."

Vito made the mistake of taking back control as she was doing a flip over a boulder. He slipped and landed on his face.

"_Vito, on ze other hand, is not so graceful. If ve fall off cliff, it vill be because he is a clumsy ox."_

"Ayo! I'll get you for that, Twinkletoes."

He was sore from the fall, so he decided to end his workout early and tan, instead. It didn't last long though, because Manitoba got restless and took back control. He dug through the dirt with his hands and exclaimed over just about everything he found. It seemed no discovery was too small or insignificant to him.

"Look at this!" he said excitedly. "And you dingoes said there was no treasure around here."

"_That's a bottlecap, genius,"_ said Chester.

"One man's trash…" said Manitoba as he tucked it in his pocket.

Manitoba took us back off the mountain at Mike's insistence. By the time we got back down, it was after dark.

Mike took back control and said, "It's been forever since Jake's gotten to do anything he wants to do, so it's his turn now. No one take control from him."

None of them agreed, but they didn't protest either, which was something.

"Thanks, Mike," I said as I took control. Without even thinking about it, I knew exactly where I wanted to go.

"_The playground?"_ Vito scoffed. _"That's the best you can think of?"_

"It's my favorite place in the whole world," I replied.

Since it was after dark, I got the whole place to myself. I remembered the before times when Mike used to bring me here, and we would play for hours. He would push me on the swing, and we'd chase each other in tag and play hide and seek. My favorite was when we would play catch. Mike taught me to throw and catch a ball, and never got mad or impatient with me when I did it wrong. Even the jerks couldn't ruin this place for us. I didn't have many happy memories, but most of the ones I did have took place here.

I went down the slide and swung on the swing. This was the first time in two years that I had gotten the chance to play. It was the first time I had come out for something other than a punishment. It was glorious, but something was missing, and I knew exactly what it was.

"I wish we could play together, Mike. Like we used to, before I… before I… died."

"_I do too, I miss it. But you're here, and that's what matters."_

I found a rubber ball on the grass. Since I had no one to play catch with, I threw the ball against the wall and caught it in my hands. I pretended Mike was catching it and throwing it back to me.

"Mike! There you are!"

I dropped the ball when I heard that voice, and my blood ran cold. I quickly let Mike take back the wheel before Mom reached us. Playtime was over.

"Where have you been all day?" she asked. "Were you running away?"

"No! No, I was just playing outside," said Mike.

"You really expect me to believe that? All you ever do is lie to me. Well, get home, your father wants to see you."

"He's home? But he was just here a few days ago, he never comes this often."

"Don't ask questions, just be grateful. Now get going!"

Mike was going to go with her, but Manitoba took control and took off running in the opposite direction.

"There's no way we're going back to that crocodile. We're getting out of here."

"_Where will we go?"_ asked Mike.

"Anywhere but here!"

Manitoba ran through the streets, directionless but with determination. The streets were mostly empty, and the only light tonight came from streetlamps.

I was very excited, we were finally escaping! I was in agreement with Manitoba, anywhere in the world would be better than this place. I couldn't wait to see where we would end up, it was so exciting. And Mommy and Daddy could never come anywhere near us ever again.

But it was never meant to be. Manitoba was running on a sidewalk, but a car drove up on the sidewalk after him. He had just enough time to exclaim, "Crikey!" but he couldn't get out of the way in time and it ran him over. The car pulled back into the road and parked, and out came Daddy.

Manitoba was knocked onto the hood of the car, but he didn't go through the windshield. If he had, we probably wouldn't have survived. He rolled off the hood and fell on the pavement, bleeding and taking shallow, gasping breaths. He was in too much shock and pain to move or speak, but at least we were still alive. He picked up Manitoba's limp form and put him in the back seat of the car. He was starting to lose consciousness, but I could still make out what was going on around us. I heard a car drive up, and I heard voices outside.

"Hey, Victor! What are you doing out here this time of night? Is that Brian in the back seat?"

"Hello, Paul. Yeah, I was taking out Brian for a little father-son time, but he wore himself out. A car could hit us and he wouldn't wake up."

The man laughed and said, "Brian and Tina are lucky to have such a good dad, there aren't many good ones out there."

"I do my best. I have to take advantage of these years because they'll be gone in the blink of an eye."

"You can say that again. Melissa just got a job with us down at the station, following in her old man's footsteps. I assume Brian will take over the family business someday?"

"I certainly hope so. Tina could too, they're both sharp."

"And I just wanted to thank you again for helping me patch up my roof. No more leaks in my house."

"Oh, it was my pleasure, anything for a neighbor."

"Are you and your family still coming over for dinner on Sunday? The missus is making her world famous meatloaf."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I should probably let you get back to work, I'm sure you're busy."

"Yeah, I've got work to do. Someone sent in another report about Eleanor Stiletto and that boy of hers yesterday, they think she might be mistreating him."

"Is she?"

"I've checked it out more than once, and nothing seems to be amiss. I mean, Eleanor's off her rocker, but that's nothing new. The boy seems kinda off, but what more can you expect from a genepool like that? I've always wondered who the father is, but I guess we'll never know. But as um… unstable as she is, she seems to do an okay job of raising her children. No need for us to step in."

"It really is an unfortunate situation, I feel sorry for both of them. Do you know whatever happened to her other boy, the one with curly hair? No one has seen him in a while."

"She told us she sent him to stay with a relative, which I believe is for the best. It is unfortunate, having people like that in the community, but what can you do?"

"_What can you do? You can check and see if it's really Brian in the backseat,"_ I said, enraged. _"Here's a novel idea, why don't you do your job for once and do an actual investigation? We might be dying back here, and would you or anyone else even care? It's nice to know we have police officers not protecting us."_

"What indeed. Well, I'll let you get back to it. I need to drop off Brian by the house and get him to bed, and then I have to get back to my office to get some work done. This case I'm working on is murder."

"Don't work too hard, Victor. I'll see you Sunday."

"Have a good one."

Daddy got back in the car, and as he shut the door Manitoba lost consciousness.

When we woke up, Mike was back in control and he was in his own bed.

"What you did wasn't smart, Michael."

He turned his head and saw Daddy sitting by the bed, ripping up his drawings and shredding them into pieces. Mike wanted to shout at him to stop, but movement of any kind was painful. And shouting at him to stop would only earn him more pain.

"You could have been killed. You're lucky nothing was broken in the accident."

That was no accident, but Mike knew better than to argue.

"You won't have to go to a hospital, you're just going to be very sore for a while. But what I want to know is, why did you try to run away?"

"I wasn't trying to run away," said Mike weakly.

"Michael, we both know that's a dirty lie. Now I'm going to ask again, and you are going to tell me the truth. Why did you run away?"

Mike hesitated, and then said, "Manitoba wanted to run away, he wanted to go off on his own. That's why."

"Ah yes, Manitoba. I should have known. But doesn't Manitoba know that he can't ever leave?"

"Maybe he could someday, when I grow up."

"No, not even then. You see Michael, this is your home, and you won't ever leave it. The rest of the world doesn't want you, this is the only place you belong. I had to bring you back tonight because I know that if you go out there, the world will eat you alive. Your mother and I are all you have, and we don't appreciate it when you try to leave. You're going to stay here for the rest of your life, and if you try to escape again, I'll do worse to you than hit you with my car, understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now, how's Jacob doing today?" he asked. "Doing well, I hope."

"He's fine," Mike mumbled.

"That's good to hear, I was worried."

Daddy had stopped telling Mike I wasn't real, which should have been a good thing, but it only made things worse. He always asked about me patronizingly, mocking Mike for believing in me. Mike hadn't been talking to me as much since it started.

"Has Jacob talked to you today? What words of wisdom does he have to offer us?"

"Nothing, he doesn't have anything to say."

"I don't believe it. Jacob was a chatterbox, he always had something to say."

"N-Not today."

Daddy leaned in closer and knocked on Mike's head. "Hello, Jacob? You in there, son? It's Daddy, come say hello!"

I felt a seething rage in my gut and I couldn't contain it. I took back control from Mike and said, "Here I am! It's me, Jake! Are you happy now?"

Daddy howled with laughter like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. My hands curled up into fists under the blanket. "You really think you're Jacob! You're so off the deep end, so in denial about his death that you've convinced yourself that you are him!"

"Mike is not crazy! I came back, I'm not dead! It really is me!"

That just made him laugh harder. He had tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard. "I guess you forgot what your mother did to you, then? Like she did to baby Elizabeth?"

I froze. I knew that I had drowned, and I remembered when Lizzie died. Was Mommy behind both our deaths? It made sense, but I was so shocked I couldn't speak.

"That's right, mommy killed her babies. It's only a matter of time before she comes after you, Michael. She'd really be doing you a favor, put you out of your misery. She's used drowning and poison, I wonder what she'll do to you? Maybe she'll use fire, but who knows."

I didn't say anything. He would never believe that it was really me and not Mike. There was no point in trying to convince him, and I couldn't stand to hear him laugh anymore.

He left the room, nearly doubled over in laughter. Taking control was a mistake, this pain was worse than any I'd been put through before. I didn't mind it though, the pain was better proof than anything that I was real, that I was still here. It felt good, really.

"_Manitoba, don't do that again,"_ said Mike.

"_Someone's gotta do something, mate,"_ he responded weakly. _"We can't keep going on like this."_

"_Fighting it just makes it worse."_

I didn't give control back to Mike right away. After our parents went to bed, I snuck out of bed and crept down the stairs. I had to move slowly, everything hurt so much. The pain was so intense and debilitating, but I was determined and I made it through sheer will. I made sure the others couldn't see what I was doing, and then I went to the kitchen. I took one of the long knives and went back up the stairs to my parent's room. By the time I got there, I was breathless from the strain on my battered body. I had to take a moment to catch my breath so I wouldn't wake them up.

The door was cracked open, and I slipped inside. Mommy and Daddy were both sound asleep; I had never seen them so vulnerable. I crept over to where Mommy was sleeping. I held the knife up to her neck, but didn't touch her in case it woke her up. I wondered what it would be like to cause someone else pain, instead of being the one taking it. This woman had murdered me, it would only be right to return the favor. I eyed my father lying on the other side of the bed, and imagined his crimson blood soaking the sheets. I imagined their eyes staring up at the ceiling, blank and unseeing.

But I couldn't do it. Even after everything they had done to me, Lizzie, and to Mike, they were still my parents. I felt like a coward, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I tried to stop him, but at that precise moment, Mike took back control. He was confused at first, but then he saw the knife at his mother's throat and almost screamed, but he covered his mouth with his hands to stop himself. He dropped the knife and ran out of there as fast as he could.

"What's going on?" he asked once he was back inside our room. He curled up in a ball by the door. "Was I about to kill my own mother? What's happening to me?"

I should have spoken up and told him I was the one who had the knife, but if I did, he wouldn't trust me anymore. I couldn't lose his trust, his friendship was all I had. So I stayed quiet, feeling angry at myself for letting this happen. Mike was scared by what he had been about to do, but at some point he managed to get to sleep. I stayed awake, thinking about how it had felt to hold that knife. It felt horrifying, but exhilarating too. That's what made it horrifying.


	5. Truth

After that night, Mike didn't talk to me for a week. He still spoke to the others, but he wouldn't talk to me unless I asked a question, and his answers were brief. I wondered if I had done something wrong. Maybe he knew that I was the one who had taken the knife, but surely he would have said something if he did. I didn't know what to think.

After a week passed, one morning Mike awoke to the smell of something baking. He got out of bed to see what it was.

Mommy took a cake out of the oven and set it on the stovetop to cool as we walked in. She smiled at us and said, "Happy birthday, Jakey!"

Mike stopped short. Mommy was more likely than not to forget our birthdays, or celebrate them on the wrong day. This wasn't my birthday, but I was so happy that she was honoring it that I didn't care she'd gotten the date wrong. She must finally have accepted that I was back, like Mike had. But then Mike ruined it.

"Mom, Jake's dead, remember?"

She was unfazed. "Nonsense, today's his birthday, he's four today! He's practically a man. We'll throw him a big party, with cake and presents."

"No Mom, he's not here. He's gone."

"_Mike, what are you doing?"_ I asked. _"Of course I'm here! I never left!"_

"Michael Wise, I have had enough of your lies. Now go wake up your brother, and bring your sister in, too. Oh, she'll probably need her diaper changed."

"They're both dead! How can you not remember that? They died, it's just me now! I'm the only one left!"

"_Mike, stop it! Why are you doing this?"_

"I'm only going to say this one more time, young man. Go wake up your brother and sister."

Mike ran out the door, and she chased him. She grabbed him and knocked him to the ground.

"Don't run away, Jakey! Not on your birthday!"

I was about to speak, but Mike beat me to it. "Jake is dead!" he shouted.

She finally froze, and seemed to listen to him. I wanted to scream.

Mike turned his head towards the little plastic swimming pool. "That's his grave. He's buried under the pool. He's gone, and he's never coming back. Same with Lizzie, they're both gone. It's just me, Mike. No one else."

Mommy looked shocked, and then morose. "I'm sorry Mike, I don't know what came over me. Let's go back inside."

She dumped the cake into the trashcan and went back to bed. It was the sanest I had ever seen her, really.

"_Mike, why did you say those terrible things?"_ I asked. It was the first time I had ever felt angry towards him. _"Why would you lie to her like that? She finally believed in me and you ruined it! Why?"_

"It wasn't a lie. My dad's right, Jake is dead. It was stupid of me to pretend he was still alive. I have to stop pretending."

"_Mike, how could you even think that? I'm not dead, I'm alive! I came back as your guardian angel, remember?"_

"You're not him."

"_Yes I am! I have all Jake's memories, I know everything about him! How could I have his memories and not be Jake?"_

"I don't know, but you're not him."

"_Stop saying that! I know who I am."_

"Jake died three years ago, he's gone, and nothing can bring him back."

Mike said all this emotionlessly. It was the only way he could keep from crying.

"_Why are you doing this to me?" _I asked as I started to cry. _"I'm your brother."_

"Because I don't want to be like Mom." He couldn't hold back the tears now. "She's crazy, and if I keep playing pretend, I will be too, just like Dad says. I think there's something wrong with me, why did I have that knife? Was I really about to kill my parents? I don't know how I got in there or why I had it, but it scares me. There must be something wrong with my brain."

"_You're not crazy, the knife thing wasn't your fault. You weren't going to kill anyone."_

"How do you know?"

"_I just do."_

"I don't want to be crazy, I want to be normal, or no one will ever like me. They might lock me away in the madhouse for the rest of my life, that's what Dad says happens to crazy people. I have to do something, I have to stop this before it's too late. I don't want it to be this way, I love you, I really do. But you're not my brother."

"_If I'm not Jake, then who am I, Mike? If I'm not your brother, then what am I?"_

"You're just an imaginary friend, you're not real, none of you are real," said Mike through tears. "I was so sad about Jake that I made an imaginary friend to replace him, I wanted friends so I made the others up, too. Only crazy people talk to people who aren't real, I have to give you guys up, like Brian did. No more imaginary friends, I have to face the real world. The game is over, I have to move on."

I screamed loud and long inside his head. Mike covered his ears, but that did nothing to block the sound. It was a broken wail, and as terrible as the sound was, in couldn't match the way I felt.

Svetlana came and wrapped me in a hug, like she would do to comfort Mike. I allowed myself to be comforted for just a moment. _"It is okay Jake, do not be feeling sad."_

"_Did you know?" _I asked as more tears streaked down my face._ "Did you know I wasn't the real Jake?"_

They all looked guilty, which answered my question louder than if they had spoken.

"_You did know! Why didn't you tell me?"_

"_We felt sorry for ya, kid!" said Chester._

"_Ve didn't vant to see you hurt," _said Svetlana._ "Ve realized zat zere was no vay you could be Mike's brother because he vas dead. Ve knew you vere actually one of us, you and Mike just couldn't see it until now. You vere too young, our minds our older zan yours."_

"_It wouldn't have done ya any good, wallaby, so we didn't see a reason to tell you."_

"_You vere so happy being his brother, and it made him happy, too. Ve did not vant to ruin vat you had."_

"_I wish you had, because what was the point of any of it if it wasn't real?"_

"_So what if you're not Jake? You're still you,"_ said Manitoba.

"_That's just it!"_ I screamed at them as I pushed Svetlana away. _"If I'm not Jake, then who am I? What am I?"_

"_You just need a new identity, like Vince or something," _said Vito. _"You gotta make a whole new you."_

"_You say that like changing who you are is as easy as changing your shirt! How can you all be so calm about all this, about living in Mike's mind? None of you actually did what you think you did. Svetlana, you've never won a single gold medal. Manitoba, you've never been on a real expedition or found buried treasure. Vito, you never worked with your uncle Vinnie fixing old cars, Mike doesn't even have an uncle! And Chester, you did not live in the old days. Doesn't that bother you?"_

"_Not really,"_ said Vito.

"_Maybe I haven't found treasure yet mate, but that doesn't mean I won't someday."_

"_One day I vill compete in ze Olympics and vin ze gold medal!"_

"_I didn't have to live the old days to know they were better than these days!"_

"_Mike thinks we aren't real, but we must be, right?"_

"_Of course ve are real, Mike just doesn't understand zat yet. He vill, ven he is older and ready to accept it."_

"_Don't you ever wonder what we are, or how we came to be here? No one else has extra people inside their heads."_

"_Well, of course we're curious, mate. Who wouldn't be? But we don't worry about it too much. We don't care what we are, we only care who we are. We just want to live our lives, same as anyone else."_

"_But you're all trapped in this body, six people in one. And that's not even counting the monster things. Doesn't it bother you that we have to share one body?"_

"_It does make zings more difficult, but Svetlana doesn't mind too much. She vill still be ze champion."  
_

"_I'll just have to drag you kookaburras along with me when I go on my adventures."_

"_And ve are like family, it is alvays good to have family."_

"_Might as well make the best of a not so hot situation," _shrugged Vito.

"_I can't believe all of you. Of course, why shouldn't you be perfectly happy? Mike isn't making you rewrite who you are. You're all exactly who you think you are, but not me. I'm nothing."_

"_You are not nothing, Jake. Do not ever be zinking zat. If zere is anything ve can do to be helping you, come to us."_

I shook my head and walked away.

"_Poor bugger,"_ I heard Manitoba say. _"Hope he's okay."_

"_I cannot imagine vat it is like to be having everything you believed in to be a lie,"_ said Svetlana. _"He is so sweet and kind, and he alvays helps Mike, now ve must be helping him in any vay ve can."_

I walked deep into Mike's mind, farther than I had ever gone before. I could hear the wails of the beasts in his mind, but they no longer frightened me. I wrapped my arms around my middle, as though if I held onto myself tightly enough it would stop my world from shattering around me. But it was already shattered, and the sharp edges of the pieces sliced through my skin, down to my soul. If I even had a soul. Who could say?

There were too many pieces, how could I ever hope to put them together again? And if I could, what would the end result look like? It would look nothing like it did before. It would be like looking at yourself in the mirror and then breaking it. You put the pieces back together, and this cracked mirror shows you a whole new reflection. An entirely different person looks back at you, they have your eyes, but you don't recognize the face.

I continued crying as I walked. I don't know how long I walked, time was different in here. I walked until I couldn't walk anymore, and then I laid down on the ground.

Images flashed through my mind of their own accord. I saw myself playing catch with Mike at the playground. I heard my laughter mix with his as we threw the ball back and forth. I accidentally threw it too high and Mike had to run for it. He taught me to keep my eye on the ball and other tricks to help me improve my aim. He never threw it too high or too low so I could catch it. That was my happiest memory. But that wasn't me.

I remembered the day a stray dog wandered into the playground, a huge dog, bigger than both of us. We were scared at first, but the dog was friendly and licked our faces. It even knew how to play fetch. We played with it for hours, it was our first and only pet. After that day, we never saw the dog again, but we decided that it had been adopted by a rich person and was living in a mansion in paradise, and that made us happy. But that wasn't me.

I remembered the first time the bullies at the playground had targeted me and pushed me off the slide. Mike stood up to them and wouldn't let them hurt me. He never stood up to them for his own sake, only for mine. He was no match for them, but he never let that stop him. Even with a black eye and bloody nose, he would never back down. He always put my safety before his own because he was my big brother and that was his job. But that wasn't me.

I remembered playing in the snow with Mike. He showed me how to build a snowman, and we made a snowfort. It was so cold that my little jacket couldn't keep me warm enough, so Mike let me use his. But that wasn't me.

I remembered the first time I ever saw Lizzie, and how cute she was. She almost never cried, she was always so quiet. I wasn't allowed to pick her up, but I was allowed to hold her on the couch. Seeing her gave me hope when I needed it most, and I cried so hard when she died. But that wasn't me.

I remembered when Mike would let me ride on his back, or let me climb on his shoulders to reach something up high. He never said no when I asked, not even when he was tired or sore from Daddy's beatings. We would play pretend games together, and Mike always made up the best characters. He could change his voice to play each character, and he could always cheer me up, no matter how bad I felt. But that wasn't me.

The person I saw in those memories wasn't me, but I felt so real, those memories belonged to me. I felt like Jake, no one else. I was the little brother, and I looked up to my big brother. How could something that felt so real be fake? How could my entire life be a lie? Because it wasn't my life at all, it never was, I stole it from someone else. These memories were false, I had done none of those things. They belonged to Jake, how had they come to me?

I suddenly remembered how the others came to be. Mike imagined them, he drew them on paper and they somehow came to life. All except Chester, who was based on his grandfather. I had always believed I was different, but really, we were all the same. He made Chester because he missed his grandpa, was I here just because he missed his dead brother? Was that the entire reason for my existence? That meant I was just a copy of someone else, not a real person at all.

If I wasn't Mike's little brother, then what was I? What were any of us? How did we come to be here inside Mike's head? What was the point of our existence? So many questions and no answers.

I felt utter devastation. Everything I had held true faded into dust, it was like trying to catch wisps of smoke in my hands. I should never have existed, but here I was. I could hardly breathe, I felt hollow, like everything inside me had been torn out, leaving an ugly, gaping wound. I wanted to scream, I wanted to tear myself apart so I couldn't feel any of this. I just wanted to forget everything, or to fade from existence entirely. I wanted to be dead, just like the real Jake.

If imaginary friends exist to help children, take their pain, and make them happy, what happens to them when their children don't need them anymore? Do they move on and find peace somewhere else, content in knowing their work is complete? Or do they stick around, lost, unloved and unattached, doomed to linger as a ghost to haunt the child they once guarded for eternity?

I was overcome by despair and anguish unlike anything I had ever experienced before. But then I realized I didn't want to die, at least, not yet. My despair and anguish turned into white hot anger, and that anger burned so hot that it made me feel like I wasn't broken, it made me feel whole again. They were trying to take everything from me, but I would take it back. Mike had rejected me, so I would no longer take his pain for him. Never again would I serve as his human shield, he would be made to suffer for what he had done to me. I would make the world suffer for forcing me to exist when I never should have.

I don't remember making the decision to stand. I could think of only one thing. I knew I had power in this brain, and for the first time, I used it.

I channeled my rage into raw power. I closed my eyes and concentrated as hard as I could for a long time, and when I opened them, there stood before me the tallest tower that I had ever seen. I'm not sure exactly how I did it, but there it was. It was dark and intimidating, and I loved it.

I could hear the wailing and screeching of the monsters lurking at the edges of the mind, and I went through and choked over half of them to death, and they faded from existence. It wasn't hard, they were already half-dead anyway. They struggled and made sounds like animals, but they all died quickly. I let some survive, so they could continue haunting Mike's nightmares. But now there was more room inside, more room to rule.

I went back to the others. They were playing a game of Twister, with Chester spinning the wheel. Svetlana was winning, of course. She was in the most awkward and painful pose possible, but she held it with ease.

"_Hey look, Jake's back!"_ said Manitoba while stretched in a very uncomfortable position right over Vito, who was also in a bad position. He lost his balance and fell on him.

"_Ow! Ah come on! I was just about to beat Twinkletoes!"_

"_There was no way you were gonna beat Svet, she always wins at this game. We're only playing it because it's her turn to pick. When it's my turn, I'm turning the floor into lava and we'll see who's left standing! Jake, you want to join us, mate?"_

Instead of answering, I concentrated and created chains that tied them all to the ground.

"_What in the world? What are you doing, ya dang whippersnapper?"_

"_I'm sorry it has to be this way, but this mind belongs to me now."_

I dragged them down to my tower, and though they struggled and tried to resist, they couldn't get away. I brought them to the top of my tower and chained their wrists and ankles to the floor before my golden throne.

"_Jake, why are you doing zis?"_ asked Svetlana.

"_That's not my name anymore. It never was my name."_

I left the tower and seized control from Mike. I dragged him down here with the rest of us.

"_Jake, what's going on?"_

Instead of answering, I put a chain around his neck and started leading him like a dog. Mike tried to pull away, but I was stronger.

"_Jake, why are you doing this? Let me go!"_

"_I never wanted it to be this way, Mike. But now I have no choice, this is the only path left for me to take. All I wanted was to be your brother, but now that you've taken that from me, I'm nothing. You should have left well enough alone, but now things can never be the way they were. You said you needed to move on, well so am I."_

"_We can still be friends, Jake. I guess I don't have to give you guys up just yet. You just can't be my brother anymore. No one can replace him, not even you."_

"_You don't understand. You'll never understand."_

I took him to the tower and locked him in, too.

"_He got you guys, too?"_ he said to the others.

"_Jake went crazy and locked us up in here! He's got all the control now,"_ said Vito.

"_He is a tyrant!"_ said Svetlana.

"_No! Jake's not like that! _Mike protested.

"_He's not Jake, remember?"_ said Manitoba. _"Now that he's been stripped of that, there's no tellin' what he'll do."_

"_Did I… Did I cause this?"_ asked Mike.

"_It vas not your fault, Mike,"_ said Svetlana. _"But I zink you should have let him go on zinking he vas Jake. Zis vould not have happened if he vas still under ze illusion zat he is your brother."_

"_I had to face the truth, I couldn't keep living that lie. But this is Jake we're talking about, he's nice and he helps me. He cares about me, about all of us, he'll come back soon and let us go, I'm sure of it."_

It had been hours since the birthday incident. Or, it could have been days, I wasn't sure. It was dark outside, and there were fresh bruises on Mike's arms and chest, meaning Daddy was home. For once, it made me smile.

I found a long stick outside and set it on fire, like a torch. I brought it back inside and went up the stairs. But I stopped in the middle, and my eyes landed on one of the few pictures in the house.

It was a picture of me, Mike, and Lizzie. I was sitting in a chair holding Lizzie, and Mike stood behind us with his hand on my shoulder. None of us were smiling. We didn't own any fancy clothes, but we were wearing the nicest clothes we had. I couldn't help but stare at my face. My skin and hair was lighter than Mike's, and I had Mommy's curls. I looked more like Mommy, he looked more like Daddy. It was too soon to tell who Lizzie looked more like, she died before she was even a year old. This is what I would look like if I had my own body. This was my face, the face I hadn't seen in the mirror in so long. Seeing the three of us together in the photo filled me with longing.

But I had to remind myself that I wasn't in this picture. That was the real Jake, before he died. I was envious of him and Lizzie, because they got out and escaped the madness. Their deaths were tragic, but at least they were free.

I went up the rest of the steps and I walked into Mom's room. Sure enough, Daddy was there, they were both sound asleep, just like they had been the last time I came in.

I went over to the window and set the curtains on fire. I did the same to the bed sheets. This house didn't have a smoke alarm, so they had no warning that they were about to be consumed by flames.

I ran back down the stairs and set fire to everything else that was flammable. I dropped the torch on the floor and ran outside to watch. I grinned as I watched the flames shoot out of the windows. It spread very quickly, but I hoped they wouldn't wake up and escape the blaze. I should have done this years ago, and I wasn't finished yet, far from it. I might not be Jake anymore, but as I watched the house burn, along with my past self, I knew that my new self was going to be much better than who I used to be. It filled me with excitement, I was going to choose who I became, and no one would ever have power over me again. This was a good thing, now I could be whatever I wanted to be, my chains were gone. I let Mike see so he would know he was free. Well, free of his parents and this wretched house, anyway.

"_Jake, how could you do this? That was my house, those were my parents! You killed them! How could you?!"_

"Don't pretend you're not relieved to see the place go up in flames. I did what needed to be done. Besides, even you have to admit they deserved it."

"_No one deserves to get burned alive like that. They probably suffered."_

"You mean like how we suffered? I just gave them a little sample of hell, now they get to experience the real deal. Don't pity them, Mike, they don't deserve your pity. Save your pity for someone who deserves it. You should be grateful, you never have to live in fear ever again."

"_I wouldn't be so sure,"_ he said as he rattled his chains.

Firetrucks pulled up soon and I went to hide as they fought the fire. It was too late for the house, they couldn't stop the fire from destroying it. They were only able to put out the flames after the house had collapsed.

People from the neighborhood formed a crowd around the house to see what had happened and to find out if there were any survivors. I watched with glee as they carried out two charred bodies. Satisfied, I left my hiding place and worked my way out of the crowd.

"Hey!" someone said as I passed. "Aren't you the kid who used to live in that house?"

"Nope, you must have me confused with someone else."


	6. Blaze

I decided that the best thing for me to do was to leave town. I didn't plan to go far, but I didn't need the neighbors recognizing me. After I left the house burning to the ground, I walked into town and saw a parked pick-up truck. I climbed in the back and laid down flat on my back. The owner drove off without checking the back, and so I got a free ride out of the hellhole I'd once called home.

After a couple hours or so I got up and leapt out of the car while it was still going. It hurt, but in a good way. I was far enough away from home that the chances of getting caught were greatly reduced. I made my new home under someone's porch, and I stayed there for several days. I wasn't all that worried about food or water, all I cared about was creating as much chaos as possible.

One night, as I was lying on the ground but not sleeping, I heard a noise. I opened my eyes and saw a girl crawling under the porch.

"This spot's taken," I said, and she gasped.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," she said in a whisper. I noticed her accent was English, what was she doing here in Canada? "I've been looking for somewhere to sleep, I'll find somewhere else."

"Wait a minute," I said. I had been prepared to tell her to get lost, but something made me change my mind. "You can stay in here, just for tonight. It's freezing out there, it's slightly less freezing under here."

"Thank you." She came under the porch and sat down on the ground. "I'm Violet Rainey, what's your name?"

"I'm Ja-" I stopped myself. What was I supposed to call myself? I wasn't Jake, and I wasn't Mike. "I don't have a name."

"How can you not have a name?"

"I just don't."

"Okay then." She let the matter drop and went to sleep while I pondered what my new name should be.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up before Violet. Actually, I hadn't slept at all. It seemed I was incapable of sleep. The sun was rising, and in its light I could now see her face. She had white blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, and she had a lovely face, even with all the dirt smeared on it. She looked to be about my age, maybe a little younger.

I snuck out of my hiding place and went to a nearby restaurant and went through the trash cans. I found some stale bread and brought it back to the porch. I ducked down as the man who lived in this house left for work.

I took a few bites of bread, but I ate no more than that. I waited patiently for Violet to wake up. When she finally did half an hour later, I tossed her the remaining bread.

"I got breakfast," I told her.

"Thanks," she said as she ate the bread ravenously, as though it was the tastiest thing she had ever eaten.

"I take it you're homeless," I said to her after she had completely devoured the bread.

"I am." I looked into her eyes and saw that they were like emeralds. I also saw innocence there, but with a hint of anger. "My parents died a year ago in England and so I had to move here to live with my aunt and uncle. They're absolutely dreadful, so I ran away."

"My parents are dead to, that's why I'm here. Maybe we can help each other."

"I don't even know you. We just met."

"You don't have many options, unless you'd like to go back to your aunt and uncle."

"All right, you made your point. We'll be partners, but only for a little while."

"Just for a little while." I held out my hand, and she shook it.

We didn't talk to each other for the rest of the day. We left the porch and went our separate ways for a while. I don't know where she went, but I went to the playground. I sat down in a swing and just sat there for hours, thinking. I wasn't thinking about anything specific, just letting my mind wander. I could hear the others inside my head, begging to be let out. They were easily ignored.

I watched as the other children played. Some played catch, some played tag, some went down the slide, some climbed the monkey bars. I wondered how many of them had other people living inside their head. I wondered how many people in the world had more than one person in their brain. Perhaps none of them did, perhaps Mike was just a freak of nature. I would probably never know.

So this is what it's like to have a body all your own. It was the closest I would ever get to being on my own, anyway. None of the others could take over and make me do anything I didn't want to do. I got to make all the decisions, I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I had never before known such freedom.

I stayed until the sun went down, and then I went back to the porch. I knew we couldn't stay here much longer, we were bound to be caught soon. I went under the porch and found Violet already there. She held a sandwich in her hands.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked.

"I stole it from a boy at a school playground, I snuck it out of his lunchbox when a teacher called him. He looked like he could stand to skip a few meals."

She tore the sandwich in half and gave me a piece.

"Thanks," I said.

"Just paying you back for breakfast."

The sandwich was peanut butter and jelly, and it wasn't half bad. We finished the sandwich and then I said, "We need to leave tonight."

"I only just got here, what's the rush?"

"I've been here for a few days already, someone's bound to notice two kids hiding under their porch."

"Where will we go?"

"I'll find a place somewhere, but there's something I need to do first, and you're going to help me."

"What are you doing?"

"I need you to sneak into the house and turn the stove on. I checked out the house the day I came here, it's a gas stove. Turn it on, but don't light it."

"Are you saying you're going to blow the house up? What has this man done to us? Are you crazy?"

"Think of all the injustice done to you, Violet. You've not even lived a decade yet, and you've lost your parents and been made to stay with your wretched aunt and uncle. Worse yet, now you're on the run with a strange boy, with no guarantee of shelter or your next meal. You don't deserve all this, don't you want some revenge? Sure, this man didn't cause any of what happened to you, but don't you want others to know your pain? It's not fair that only you should suffer."

Violet was very hesitant, she took a long time to think, but I was patient. I didn't speak a word to her as she pondered it.

"The man who lives here, is he at home?"

"Look, his car isn't here, he's not home yet. If you do it now, he won't get hurt."

Finally, she said, "I'll do it."

She snuck in through a window, quieter than a mouse. I watched her turn on the stove, and we gave it several minutes for the gas to disperse. When I was sure there was enough, I took out a box of matches I'd taken from the house on my first day.

"Here, you do it," I said as I handed her the matches.

"No, I can't."

"Yes, you can. It'll be easy, and no one will get hurt. It's just a prank, you can do it."

She bit her lip and took the matches. She struck one and threw it into the house. We made a run for it as fire erupted throughout the house, out the windows. We were a bit singed, but none the worse for wear. Just like the first time, we watched it burn to the ground from a safe distance.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" I asked.

She laughed and said, "It really was! Let's do another!"

"Easy tiger, we have to pace ourselves," I said with a laugh. "If we do every house in one night there won't be any left for tomorrow night. Come on, we can sleep in the tunnels on the playground."

For many nights we stayed in those tunnels, and every night we burned a house down together, but Violet would only go along with it if the house was unoccupied. It was worth the compromise, it was the most fun I've ever had. Until then, my only connection had been with Mike, being his brother. But I came to think of Violet as the friend I never wanted. I could see the hidden rage behind her eyes, I could see the untapped potential. Just like in that man's house, where the gas could do nothing on its own and needed flame, I was the spark that set her off.

But I knew our partnership couldn't last forever. Even if it could have lasted, I wouldn't have wanted it to. I enjoyed Violet's company, but I didn't want to have her around forever. I was growing bored with her, I needed to be on my own again.

One day, we found a house that was empty. After a brief inspection, we discovered that the occupants were on vacation and would not be back for three weeks. Rather than torch it, we decided to take advantage of their hospitality, and then torch it.

"I've never been in such a big house!" I exclaimed as we went inside.

"Neither have I, it's practically a mansion!" said Violet.

It was hardly a mansion, but the owners were very well off, that was obvious. We ran through the house, looking at all the different rooms. I chose a room with a huge bed as mine to stay in. The whole house was nice and fancy, everything neat and tidy as though they were expecting the queen to arrive any minute.

The first thing I did was take a shower. I turned the heat on the water up until it was nearly scalding, and it was marvelous. It's too bad I had no clean clothes to put on afterwards, but I wasn't bothered.

Dripping wet, I went back downstairs and found Violet searching through the kitchen for food. She found a jar and pulled out a pack of candy and tossed it to me.

"Here's dinner," she said as she took out one for herself. It was a bag of peanut butter cups, I'd seen kids at school with them, but I'd never gotten to try them myself. I opened the bag and put one in my mouth. It was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted.

"This is so good," I said as I took the bag to the couch. "I could live on these."

"It's been so long since I've had anything sweet, it's like heaven," said Violet. She took the TV remote and turned on the television. She flipped through channels and finally settled on an animated movie about monsters. I was immediately enraptured, I had never seen anything animated before. I found myself laughing and really getting into it.

"Aren't you a little old to be enjoying the movie this much? It's just Monster's Inc."

"But it's so ridiculous! There are no such things as monsters, and if there were, they wouldn't be doing things like this."

"Anything is possible in cartoons and animation, don't you know that?"

"My mother and grandfather didn't allow cartoons back home, they thought it would rot my brain. Ironic, given that their brains were already rotten. I always had to watch news stations or other adult programs, this is the first time I've ever gotten to watch a cartoon, or anything meant for kids. I love it." This was one of the few truths I spoke.

"Well, now we can do anything we want. No more rules."

"No more rules. I could get used to that."

After the movie ended, we both went upstairs to go to sleep. But first, I followed her to her room and hit her with a pillow. She retaliated and hit be back, and we jumped on the bed and hit each other with pillows, filling the room with feathers and laughing like lunatics. We flopped down on the bed side by side, panting for breath. Once I'd caught my breath, I got up and went back to my bedroom, and she went to take a bath. There was no way I was going to get any sleep, so I climbed out the window onto the tree outside. I used it to climb onto the roof, and I laid there all night, watching the stars.

For the next few days, we stayed inside the house watching cartoons and eating whatever the kitchen had to offer. It was full of sweets, so we didn't go hungry. Violet got sick of sweets after the second day and went back to real food, but I never did. I didn't eat much, but when I did it was something loaded down with sugar.

We continued our arson spree, until one day I went out and saw a wanted poster with my face on it. Someone had seen me, they had connected me to the crimes, and they were after me. I realized that I didn't have long until they caught me. Well, it's not like this was unexpected. I wasn't exactly being overly-cautious. It was then that I realized that prison didn't sound unappealing to me. I was starting to get really bored, and just think of all the chaos I could cause in there.

I went back to the house and didn't tell Violet about the poster. We watched _Alice in Wonderland _while we ate dinner. Her dinner was a sandwich, mine was an ice cream bar.

"Violet, you know our partnership can't last forever, right?" I asked her as Alice went to the Mad Hatter's tea party.

"I believe I said that myself when we first made the agreement."

"But what are you going to do after we part ways?"

"It's none of your business."

"I'm just curious. You are the only friend I've ever had, you know. Probably the only one I ever will have."

"Why's that?"

"People aren't exactly my top priority. I don't go looking for people to befriend."

"And we met by accident."

"Exactly."

"I'm not sure what I'll do. Stay on the run, live by my own rules, that's really all I want to do."

"Will you keep setting things on fire?"

"Perhaps, though not as often as I do now. But what about you? What will you do?"

"Who knows."

"Is that all you have to say? You have no idea what you'll do?"

"I'll probably do the same as you, but I'm not really all that concerned about my future. I'm just a leaf on the wind."

"Do you think we'll ever see each other again?"

"It's a small world, I won't rule anything out."

Just then, we heard sirens coming from outside.

"They've caught us!" said Violet, panic in her eyes.

"Let's burn the house down and make a run for it."

"No! If we go out now, they won't know we've been the ones who've been setting all the fires. If we burn this one down it'll be like signing our own death warrants!"

"Don't be so dramatic, it wouldn't be that bad. They probably already know we're the culprits, so we might as well burn down one more, especially if it is our last."

"Let's go out in flames," she said with a grin to match my own.

"You read my mind."

I took out my lighter and set fire to the curtains. I tossed the lighter to Violet and she set fire to the bedsheets upstairs.

"That ought to do it, now let's get out of here," she said as smoke started filling the air.

I grabbed her and pushed her into the bathroom, but she struggled and fought back.

"What are you doing?"

"Ending our partnership." I almost regretted it, she had become my favorite toy. Sentiment, that's what it was. She had a taste for chaos just like I did, and I liked that. But I was done with her.

"You're going to kill me? I thought we were friends!"

"You have very bad taste in friends."

I forced her into the bathroom and stuck a chair under the knob to keep her from opening it.

"I'm going to get out of this, and when I do, I'm going to kill you!"

"I look forward to it!"

I ran out of the house and was almost immediately caught by a police officer.

"You're in big trouble, boy."

"I always am."

As he was handcuffing me, I watched as flames roared through the windows. In the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a streak of white blonde hair. I looked and caught just the slightest glimpse of her.

"She made it out after all. I'm so proud."

"Who made it out?" he asked.

"My partner in crime."

He loaded me in the back of his car as firetrucks started arriving. My arson spree was over.

When they took me to the police station, they demanded to know my name. I refused to give them my old one, but I knew that if I was to have permanent possession of this body I would need a name for myself.

"Now son," said one of the officers. "I know you probably didn't mean to hurt anyone when you set that fire, it was an accident, right?"

"No. Every move I make is calculated," I said disinterestedly. "I didn't accidentally start any of those fires by playing with matches."

This seemed to take the officer aback. No doubt he was used to kids starting trouble but not meaning to do any real harm. He just assumed that most kids just needed a wake up call and they'd go back to being good kids after the horror of being arrested. I showed no emotion on my face, other than a little sly grin and a wink every now and again to let them know that I wasn't one of those kids.

During my brief time at the station, I caught a glance at a criminal report of another boy.

…_Did poorly in school, and his academic failures made him malevolent towards the other children. This resulted in violent outbursts in school…_

Malevolent. I liked that word.

After that, I said nothing and ignored them completely. They put me in a juvenile detention center, and they deposited me in my cell with my new bunkmate. He looked to be about my age, maybe a little older, with jet black hair.

"I'm Duncan, what do they call you?"

"No one calls me anything. I call myself the Malevolent One."

"That's a weird nickname. I mean, we've got Spider, Cobra, and Barfbag, but no one with a nickname like that. I'll just call you Mal, how about that?"

"Hm, Mal. I like Malevolent One better, but Mal will do."

"Get ready to have your face smashed in, juvie initiation is not for the weak. I pity you, newbie," he said with a grin.

"Oh, I'm sure I'll have a grand old time."

**Mike's POV:**

As I sat there, my limbs heavy and my skin rubbed raw from the chains, I wondered how it had come to this.

How could Jake do all this? He murdered my parents, and as relieved as I was to be free of them, I still believed they didn't deserve to die like that. He talked about how I was free, all the while keeping me and the others in chains.

He hadn't let me see the outside world since he burned my house down. I had no idea how much time had passed or what was going on outside. It felt like it had only been a few days, but the others had told me that our sense of time in here is warped and that it could really have been a few days, or it could be just a few minutes, or it could even be a few years. There was no way of knowing.

The chains were wrapped around my arms and legs, and they were painful and heavy. I could tell the others were also weighed down by their chains, though they tried to pretend they weren't. They talked a little, but not much. Most talking was us pleading with Jake to let us go, but he ignored us.

"_How long do you think he'll keep us in here?"_ I asked Svetlana.

"_As long as he deems fit,"_ she replied, her head hanging down. She turned to look at me with a little smile. _"But Svetlana believes it vill not be forever. Either Jake vill see reason, or ve vill escape. Either vay, you vill be okay."_

"_If only I could just wake up, then everything would be all right."_

"_What are you going on about, young'un?"_

"_Well, I made all this up, and I must be dreaming it. I'm at home in my bed, and this is all really just a nightmare."_

"_Um, no it's not," said Vito. _

"_Of course it is, I can't really be trapped in my own head, and you guys can't actually talk, you're just imaginary friends I made up so I wouldn't be lonely. None of you are real, and neither is Jake."_

"_Think again, wallaby."_

"_If only I could wake up, but I don't know how. I've tried pinching myself and everything, nothing works."_

"_Zat is because you are not dreaming. All zis is really happening."_

"_No, that's impossible. I imagined all of you, but I didn't stop when my dad told me too and now I'm stuck in a nightmare. But what I'm wondering is, why did I imagine Jake this way, hurting people? Does that mean, if my brother were still alive, he would be this way?"_

"_No, no, no," _said Svetlana. _"Remember, zis zing is not your brother. He may be like him, but zey are being vastly different. Zis zing is evil and cruel, your brother vas sweet and kind and gentle, like you. Ven you look back on your time with Jake, do not be zinking of zis zing, zink of your little brother, and how much you loved him and how much he loved you."_

"_All I wanted was my little brother back. He was my best friend, he shouldn't have died. Why did they both have to die? Why can't they still be here with me? They never did anything wrong, Jake was just a little kid and Lizzie was just a baby, why did they have to go? I just wanted him back, I just wanted them both back. I never meant for any of this to happen."_

I started sobbing, and Svetlana tried to put an arm around me to comfort me, but her chains were too heavy.

"_I'm going to wake up somehow, and then I'll never use my imagination ever again."_


	7. New Identity

**Mal's POV:**

For the first few weeks I was at the bottom of the food chain. They called it "Rush the New Guy" and it meant swirlies, punches, and pranks galore were all targeted at me. Duncan told me it wouldn't end until another new guy came in, and that he had been the last new guy before I came along.

I was different from what they were used to, however. They were used to the new guy crying for his mommy and begging for mercy. I never reacted to anything they did. I wouldn't cry, beg for mercy, or even flinch. I just stayed silent, staring straight ahead until it was over, and then I resumed whatever I had been doing as though nothing had happened. Naturally, they thought this was weird, and they started calling me Blinky because no matter what they did I wouldn't blink. It became a game to them, whoever made me blink first would win.

One day, I was getting my food in the cafeteria when the leader of the pack, a guy called Razor, shoved my tray into my face. I had become accustomed to wearing my food instead of eating it.

"Oh look, you got mashed potatoes on my jumpsuit," he said as the others laughed. "You're gonna have to pay for that, squirt."

He punched me in the gut, and although it hurt and I doubled over, I didn't change expression or blink.

"What is wrong with you, squirt? It's like you're always in your own little dreamland." He started flicking my face, trying to make me react. He licked his hand and wiped it down my cheek. He poked me in both eyes, but I was as still as a stone.

"Maybe he's a robot," someone suggested. "Or maybe he's just brain damaged."

"Which is it, squirt? What's wrong with your brain?" He took a fork and stuck it into my back. He knocked on my head and said, "Hello, anybody home?"

"Maybe he's a science experiment gone horribly wrong."

"Whatever he is, I don't think he's human."

The others all got a good laugh out of that. Razor took the fork out of my back and made it look like he was going to stab me in the eye. In a moment of weakness, my eyes drier than a desert, I blinked.

"He blinked! I told you I'd get him! Blinky blinks at last!" said Razor as the others cheered him.

Now was the moment I would assert my power over all these imbeciles. Razor had won, he'd gotten me to blink, and now he would get his prize. I'll admit, my plan was savage and barbaric, but it produced great results.

I jumped on him. Razor was huge, probably four times my size, and uglier than a troll. He had to be at least sixteen. He tried to throw me off, but I put my arms around his thick neck and held on tight. He was going to pull me off and make me a permanent part of the white tile floor, but before he could I sank my teeth into his ear and tore it off.

I let go and dropped down to the floor. Razor screamed and clutched his head where his ear had been as blood seeped through his fingers.

"He bit it off, the freak bit my ear off!"

I spit the ear out and threw it across the room at the other inmates. I wiped the blood off my mouth; that was really gross.

I laughed as everyone saw the ear and started screaming and freaking out. The guards stepped in to contain the chaos, and one of them grabbed me and dragged me away as I laughed at the chaos and confusion.

After everything calmed down, Razor was taken to the hospital along with his ear and I was put in solitary confinement for a few days. I promised them I wouldn't do any more biting and they let me go back to my old cell with my old cellmate. I wouldn't mind honoring this promise, I didn't particularly enjoy the taste of ear.

Duncan wasn't exactly thrilled to have me back. Though he tried to hide it, I could tell he was trying to put as much distance between us as possible, which suited me just fine.

One day, outside my cell, I caught sight of Mike's reflection in a mirror. No, not his anymore, mine. I decided that if this brain was under new management, I should make that apparent on the outside. I brushed my hair down over one eye with my fingers. It was intimidating and edgy, and I liked it. I also started lowering my voice, making it different from Mike's or any of the other's. I wanted it to be all my own.

Despite my young age, when I was allowed back in the common area, the other inmates avoided me like the plague. Even the toughest and meanest pretended I didn't exist, not wanting to lose an ear like Razor. They hadn't been able to reattach it because the ear had been trampled and was too damaged by the time they got it to the hospital. His new nickname was One-Ear, and he too avoided me.

I used my newfound power to my advantage. When I wanted something, I got it. I usually didn't have to raise my voice or use violence, my reputation spoke loud enough for me. And when I started channeling the others, letting them come halfway out but not enough to have full control, it only made me look crazier, increasing their fear. I didn't care what they thought of me, as long as they were too afraid to cross me.

I had a little group of followers who tried to kiss up and get on my good side. It was mostly weaklings whose only hope of survival was to hide in the shadow of those stronger. I let them think they had won my favor, when really I detested them. Anyone who couldn't fight their own battles and relied on the strength and power of intimidation of others to get by was a waste of skin. They were very good at following orders at least, and so when I told them to do something, such as starting a fight with someone I didn't like, they didn't ask questions.

My favorite thing to do was whistle a tune I'd heard on TV once. It was a simple, innocent tune that held no real meaning, but after a while of hearing me whistle it I could see that it affected those who heard it, they would cringe. The fact that just whistling could unsettle them just went to show how much power I had here. I really had nothing to gain, I just enjoyed using my power to mess with their heads.

"Say, Duncan?" I said one night in our cell. "I heard you asking the warden if you could get a new cellmate, why was that? Aren't we pals?"

He hesitated, then answered from his cot on the other side of the room, "Well, I figured you might like a cell all to yourself."

"Why would I want that? I get enough alone time in solitary confinement, I don't need my own cell. Do you not want to bunk with me?"

"You've got an um… impressive reputation."

"Then you should be honored to share a cell with me."

"Well, I guess I'm going to, whether we like it or not."

"I'm feeling curious, what did you do to get in here?"

"That's a secret. My business."

I had to give him props, he did a good job of pretending he wasn't afraid. It couldn't be easy, going to sleep with two ears and knowing you could wake up with one or both gone, or you might not wake up at all. At least he couldn't say he didn't have an interesting roommate in juvie.

"Oh come on, I'll tell you what I did if you tell me what you did."

"I don't even want to imagine what you did."

"It wasn't that bad, honest. I just set my parent's house on fire while they were sleeping, that's all. Nothing special, really."

"Why'd you do it?"

"They were lousy parents."

"Mine are too sometimes, but I'm not going to set their house on fire."

"You don't know what you're missing."

"You seem to like juvie a lot," Duncan commented quietly. "You're the only one here who does."

"I don't see anything about it that's not likeable. I have all my little peons practically kissing my feet, I have total control. The kingdom may not be the greatest in the land, but that doesn't make me any less of a king. But now it's your turn Duncan. Why are you here? What naughty thing did you do to get yourself locked up in here with me?"

Duncan didn't answer, I assumed he was trying to pretend to be asleep. I let the matter drop, I wasn't interested in anything he had to say, anyway.

Instead of sleeping, I went inside the tower in my head to visit the others. They were all chained in a line before my throne. Their wrists and ankles were weighed down by the manacles, they were really suffering in here.

"_Jake, please!"_ said Svetlana. _"Please be letting us go!"_

"_Ayo, what did we ever do to you to deserve this?"_ asked Vito.

"_Do I really need to say it?"_ I asked. _"Do I really need to remind you?"_

"_Vat ve did vas wrong, ve know zat! Ve are sorry, let us be making it up to you!"_

"_It's too late for that. You only regret your choices now because I'm a threat, because you're too weak to overpower me. You'll spend the rest of your lives in here, and you will never have control ever again."_

"_Jake, why are you doing this?"_ asked Mike with tears running down his face. _"You're not a bad person, you don't like hurting people, why won't you let us go? I know you Jake, and this isn't you."_

"_Mike, the others exist to help you escape, right? Well, except Chester, he doesn't really serve a purpose, does he?"_

"_Someone's gotta keep an eye on you hooligans!"_

"_My point is that we don't have to escape anymore. The bullies want to escape from me. They fear me, do you know what that feels like? It's the best feeling in the world. No one will ever give us a hard time ever again as long as I'm in control. Manitoba, Svetlana, Vito, you're all obsolete now, useless. You know Mike, I might let you out of those chains someday, once you've come to accept that this mind doesn't belong to you anymore. I might even let you use it sometimes. I know it will be difficult, but once you realize that it's better this way, you'll be happy. And you'll never have to live in fear again."_

"_No! This is my mind and it belongs to me, not you! It's not right to hurt people to stay in control, and that's what you've been doing. I won't ever surrender to you, Jake, but I do want us to be friends again. If you stop this, if you let us go and let me have control again, I'll forgive you and we'll forget this ever happened. I'm willing to give you a second chance, will you take it?"_

At first, I was conflicted. On one hand, Mike had been all I had for years. After this, it was very likely that I would never be offered another chance. And there was still that small part of me that believed it was wrong to steal Mike's mind and body from him.

But giving him back control meant going back to our old life. His parents might be dead, but there would always be other people who would like nothing more than to hurt us. Mike was a spineless pushover, he couldn't defend himself without us, without me. Mike being in control would take us back to the way life used to be, full of fear and pain. He was pathetic, weak, and unfit to lead. As long as I was in control, no one could ever hurt us again. Mike had had his chance and he failed. I was done being his guardian angel, and there was no going back.

"_That's sweet of you to say, but I have to decline. This mind is mine now, none of you will ever have control ever again. But_ _here's a heads-up, my name isn't Jake anymore. I'm the Malevolent One, but you can call me Mal, if you prefer."_

"_Come on Jake, you can't keep us in here forever!" _said Manitoba.

I kicked Manitoba in the face. He clutched his bleeding nose in pain as I said, _"I said, my name is Mal. There is no Jake, and if you call me that again I'll do far worse than break your nose."_

"_Manitoba, are you okay?" _asked Mike.

"_Fine mate, doesn't even hurt_,_"_ said Manitoba, even though it was obvious that wasn't true.

"_Obviously it's not going to be easy for you all to learn my new name, and even then you might be tempted to call me by my old one. I'm going to make the transition easier for you."_

I put my hand on their heads one by one and took their memories of who I used to be. I left my old self as a blank slate in their memories, so they would have no idea of who I used to be. I could never let them remember the truth, it was too shameful, too terrible. I would die before letting them find out.

None of them knew how to use the mind in this way, but would they if they could? Just another reason why I was the best choice for king.

"_What's my name, Mike?"_

"_Mal."_

"_All together now, what's my name?"_

Silence.

"_I said, what's my name!?"_ this I half shouted, half snarled at them.

"_Mal,"_ they said in unison.

"_Wonderful. I have a feeling that we'll all get along much better from now on."_

I was about to leave them, but I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of guilt in my chest. I enjoyed the chaos, and I reveled in Mike's parent's deaths, but I couldn't deny that part of myself that wanted to help Mike. So, to make myself feel better, I took some more memories from Mike. It was never easy doing this, especially since I already had so many of my own. I didn't need his. But it would help him, and it made me feel better about what I was doing, and what I had already done.

* * *

I started out very short, but during my stay in juvie I went through a growth spurt and grew a couple inches taller. I didn't gain any muscle, so my new height didn't help me look intimidating. That was okay, I didn't rely on looks to get by.

Obviously, I couldn't ride on the ear incident forever. A month or two after it happened, people started questioning my authority. After all, what teenager enjoys being subjugated to an eight year old? I was expecting it, and I was ready for it. I didn't go biting off anymore ears, but with tricks and manipulation, I was able to maintain my position of power. I already had my little gang of followers at my beck and call, and I learned that I could be very persuasive, and make people think that I was on their side when really they were on the chopping block.

"Boss, I heard Scarecrow and his posse are comin' for ya in the showers tonight, they're gonna beat the crap outta you and blame it on another gang," one of my followers told me, a guy named Rufus.

Like anywhere else in the world, there were gangs in here, all fighting for dominance. "Tell the warden that you heard Scarecrow say he smuggled a gun in his cell and he's going to use it to stage an escape tonight."

It worked, and while Scarecrow's cell was being raided, he was too busy to come after me. Rufus expected to be rewarded for this, but unbeknownst to him, I'd had another of my followers implicate him with Scarecrow, so he also had to have his cell raided. He had cigarettes in there that he used to bargain with, so he lost his bargaining chips and the little power he had with the others.

I could make people think they had come up with an idea on their own when really I had planted the seed long before.

"Doesn't Tremor look tired to you? I think he's losing his edge," I said to one of Tremor's gang members in the common area. "He'd better be careful, someone might try to replace him soon. It's a good thing he has such loyal followers, mine are always trying to stage mutiny on me."

"Yeah, loyal," he scoffed. "Maybe it is time someone stronger took his place."

And there was only one way for a new alpha to be chosen, the same way wolves do it: by taking out the former alpha.

I spread around whispers and rumors and made people turn on their friends and allies.

"Hey Malcolm, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked a big, burly fifteen year old in the lunch line.

"What do you want, freak?"

"There's something I need to tell you. The others said I shouldn't, but you deserve the truth. But maybe they were right, maybe I should just leave well enough alone. After all, Juan is your best friend and I wouldn't want to ruin that."

He slammed his tray down and grabbed me by the shirt and hoisted me off the ground.

"Tell me what?" he barked, getting spittle on my face.

"I don't want to hurt you!"

"You tell me right now or I'll make it so that your own mother won't recognize you!"

"Okay, okay, but don't say I didn't warn you. Juan said that when he gets out he's going to steal your girlfriend from you. He said they kissed a lot before juvie when you weren't around, and she said she doesn't love you anymore. It's so terrible, I mean, how could your best friend do this to you?"

He dropped me and ran at Juan, who was already at a table. He pounced on him and let out a full assault on him.

"Malcolm, what are you doing?" Juan asked as he knocked a tooth out.

"You think you can take Fiona from me, well you've got another thing coming!"

"I would never do that! Fiona loves you!"

"I've seen the way you look at her, I'll kill you for this!"

I kept moving down the line, watching the show with a smirk as I went. Not only had I just made one of the gangs collapse on itself, but I got some entertainment out of it, too. Really, who needs muscle when words destroy people faster?

I wasn't big or strong, but what I lacked in strength I made up for in sheer will power and determination, with charm and deception on the side. Add that to my reputation of psychosis and most people would rather leave me be than oppose me. Most would never admit it, but they were all my slaves in there. I should have been the weakest link, I should have been at the bottom of the food chain, begging for scraps from those stronger than I. Someone like me should never have tasted power, but here I was, at the very top, where no one could stop me. Though I wore no crown on my head, I was their king.

One day, one of my followers decided he didn't want to follow anymore, he wanted to lead. We were outside; most of the guys were either lifting weights or playing basketball. I was sitting against the wall out of the sun, my peons all sitting close by. It's like they thought that if they stayed close enough to me, my power would rub off on them. It was about as likely as a servant becoming royalty by hanging around a king.

I saw Duncan with some of his buddies sporting a new eyebrow ring. He had dark circles under his eyes similar to mine, which was understandable. He probably didn't get much sleep with me around. It was smart of him to stay so vigilant, but he wasn't a target. It was much more fun to see his fear of what I might do eat away at him, I was torturing him by not torturing him.

One of my servants came over and stood before me. I think his name was Hector, I didn't care enough to know for sure. He was nearly sixteen, and he was one of the many heavyweights here.

"That's perfect, stay right there, it adds to the shade. I don't want any sun."

"You've been a good leader, Mal, but you'll never be a great one. I think it's time we had a new alpha."

I yawned and said, "Well, if you see any great leaders around, let me know."

"I'm going to take your place. Now, since you're just a kid, I'll let you step down and there doesn't have to be a fight."

"That's so sweet of you."

"Does that mean you'll accept my offer?"

"No, it means I think your little gesture of mercy is sweet, where do you get 'I accept your offer' out of that?"

"You're really going to fight me? Kid, you're the smallest and youngest guy here."

"I'm also coincidentally the craziest." I stood up and raised my fists. I wouldn't be channeling any of the others for this, this was my fight.

By now, nearly all talk had ceased and everyone was watching to see what would happen. Hector threw a punch, but I neatly dodged it. He kept throwing kicks and punches, but I avoided each one by ducking a split second before his blows would have connected.

"You can't avoid and evade forever, Mal," Hector said as he tried to land a blow on my shoulder. "This isn't dodge ball, you can't win by dodging!"

"Indeed." I kept dodging and people cheered for both sides. Some yelled for me to fight back already, some yelled at Hector to tear my spine out. I caught sight of Duncan keeping quiet; he didn't want me to win but if he cheered for Hector he knew this might be his last night on earth.

I waited for Hector to slow down from fatigue. He kept the blows coming, but once he had weakened a little I ducked under his legs and jumped onto his back. I put one arm around his neck and squeezed, and the other I used to cover his eyes so he couldn't see. The cheers for both sides only grew louder as Hector tried to throw me off, but with his restricted airway it was hard to do, in spite of my small size. He started running to try to throw me off, like a wild bull trying to buck its rider. He couldn't see, and so he ran straight into the brick wall headfirst, but I jumped off just in time to avoid injury. Hector collapsed on the ground, still breathing but with a bleeding head wound. Whatever brain function he'd had before was probably dead now.

The only sound for several seconds was the sound of me catching my breath. I turned around with an evil, triumphant grin and said, "Would anyone else like to challenge me? Come on, I'm only eight years old, you guys can take me. Doesn't anyone want to take my place as alpha wolf? Or would you rather follow me and avoid ending up like poor Hector here?"

A chant broke out, quiet at first, but it grew louder with each passing second. "Mal! Mal! Mal! Mal!"

It started out with just my followers, but then it spread to others, people who had not been part of my posse before. Two guys lifted me into the air as they shouted my name. They kept worshiping me until the guards came in and made everyone go back to their cells and took Hector to the hospital. But even then, a whisper filled the halls of the building as they quietly kept chanting my name.

It's good to be king.

* * *

Despite having a brutal reputation, every now and again a newbie would come in and try to talk to me. My own followers rarely made any attempts to actually speak to me unless they had news to deliver, they usually just hung around at my side and waited for orders. Others would either warn them or encourage them to talk to me. Either way, I always made sure to be super friendly.

"Hey, I'm Roland, I'm new here. Just got busted for vandalism and property damage. You're Mal, right?"

We were in the cafeteria. I was eating an apple, my only sustenance for the day. I only ate enough to keep the body going, no more than that. I sized up the guy talking to me; he was a few years older than me, with bright red hair and a nose ring. He was bigger than me, pretty much everyone in here was, but he was no Razor, that was for sure.

"The one and only," I said nonchalantly.

"You're scrawnier than I thought you'd be, no offence," he said as he sat down. "What are you, six?"

"Eight and a half."

"And you're already running the place. Is it true what they say? You're the one who tore off One-Ear's ear, with your teeth?"

"Who told you that?"

"I don't know, some guys. So, is it true?"

"It's just a rumor, I don't know how it got started."

Roland looked puzzled. "Then why are they so afraid of you?"

I shrugged. "Beats me. I'm just a puny little thing, I'm no threat to anyone."

"You must have done something to have earned their fear and respect. Come on, don't be modest, what was it?"

"Do you promise you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you? You have to keep my secret."

"Yeah, yeah of course I will," said Roland eagerly.

"Well, the reason they're so afraid of me is because…" I whispered the last part. "They think I'm crazy."

"Are you?"

"That's up to you to decide. You look pretty smart, you decide what you believe."

"Yeah, that's right."

"You don't take orders from anyone, I'll bet."

"Oh, you know it. I'm my own man."

"No doubt about that. Guys like us have to stick together, right?"

"Definitely. You know, you look like you could use some muscle on your side, in case anyone ever tries to give you trouble. No offence, but I've seen walking sticks with more meat on them than you."

"I could use some protection, given that I am rather defenseless. Show me what you've got, go pick a fight with that guy over there." I pointed at a guy sitting at another table, the biggest guy here. He looked more like a moose than a teenager. "His name's Scratch, he's a boxing champ and he's in here for assault and battery. He thinks nose rings are gross, and he thinks every new guy is a wimp. If you can take him down, you can join my posse. But if you're too scared, I won't hold it against you."

"He doesn't look so tough."

I watched as Roland went over and punched Scratch in the nose. I watched the ensuing fight with a smirk. Roland was so out of his league here, he'd be lucky to come out of this as a pancake. Scratch was dragged away by guards, but not before he left Roland a bloody pulp.

"Dinner and a show," I chuckled as I tossed the apple core over my shoulder.

* * *

Roland tried to get on my good side a few more times, but I ignored him. He kept following me around like a puppy, waiting for me to demonstrate my power. Well, I'll do anything for a fan, and I was bored anyway. That day in the cafeteria, no one tried to talk to me, so I had to entertain myself in other ways.

"Lookie what I got," I said as I held up my trophy from the day's plundering. I didn't have to raise my voice; when I spoke, everyone listened.

"Is that a cellphone?" someone asked.

"Sharp observation," I replied.

The warden came to stand behind me. "That's my cellphone."

I turned to look at him. "Oh, so all of a sudden everything in your pocket belongs to you? Well then you'll want your wallet and lighter back, too," I said as I handed everything back to him. "Your wife is very pretty, by the way."

"You know what this means."

"Not solitary confinement! Oh please, anything but that!"

He reached out to grab my arm, but I dodged and jumped on the table. I started channeling Svetlana, and I used her to jump and grab onto one of the overhead lights and swing off it. I landed on another table, and by now I was being swarmed by guards. I did flips over their shoulders, and I leapt onto the counter where the food was served and started channeling Vito. I didn't need him, but the change in voice always unsettled them.

I took a metal fork and held it to the cook's throat. She whimpered as the guard's pointed their guns at me.

"Bet you weren't expecting this to happen when you were gettin' ready for work this morning, were ya?" I said. "I'm really sorry about all this, a fork in your throat would just put a damper on your whole day, wouldn't it? I'm really raining on your parade here."

I looked back to the guards. Everyone was staring at me, watching to see what I would do. I smiled my most charming smile and said, "Ayo, you guys are really making a big deal out of nothin'. I'm sure you're expecting me to use this poor woman as leverage for escape, but you are sadly mistaken. I don't want to leave, you guys are like family to me! We're one big, happy family, and what does family mean? It means we stick together, through thick and thin. No one will be getting a fork in the throat today."

I lowered the fork from her neck, and she started to cry. I stopped channeling Vito as the guards came at me, and I still had the fork in my hand. I jabbed one of the guard's with it, right between the eyes. He cried out in pain as the others tackled me to the floor and handcuffed me.

"I never said I wouldn't stick it somewhere else!" I said with a laugh as I was dragged away. I caught sight of Roland; all the blood had drained from his face. He had gotten the taste of my power he thought he wanted, and I had a feeling he wouldn't be coming back for more. We might all be bad kids here, but only a few had bloodlust. The others might act tough, but they were all soft on the inside. People like that made me sick.

I was given another timeout in solitary confinement, but I didn't mind. The others could relax for the moment, but I would be back soon enough. As long as I was around, I had all the power, and no one could take me down.


	8. Raccoon Eyes and Fireflies

My reign as king over juvenile hall lasted for about a year, give or take a few months. And what a glorious reign it was, while it lasted. No kingdom can last forever, it would seem.

At some point I was deemed mentally unfit to stay in juvie and I was sent to a child psychiatric facility. I think the final straw was when I recited a poem about the beauty of blood in the common room one day. I had composed it the previous night when I couldn't sleep. One guy told me to shut up, probably because he was creeped out by how morbid it was, and so I used the knife I'd taken from the cafeteria and used his blood to write my poem on the wall as I spoke.

"The blood runs down, so full of life,

"The only sign of all the strife.

"It shines like rubies, though men abhor,

"As it runs out, and the heart beats no more."

The warden didn't exactly appreciate my artistic expression, and so I was transferred to my very first asylum. You never forget your first. Before I left though, I snuck out of my cell after everyone was asleep and hacked into the computer system. One of my little worshippers was a computer whiz, he'd told me how to get through the computer system here weeks ago. I deleted my criminal history and my name out of their system completely. I was still going to the whacky shack, but now it was as though I had never existed. It's amazing what you can get done when you never sleep.

I heard the collective sigh of relief as they escorted me out the next day, especially Duncan, who no longer had to bunk with a maniac. I was just surprised they hadn't come to this conclusion sooner.

In the asylum, I traded out my prison orange for madhouse white. All the doctors were nice to me, as though I was a guest and not a patient. I was given my own room, and I had a window, something I hadn't had in juvie. I really liked that window, even though most of my view was blocked by another building. When you're locked away inside at all hours, you really start appreciating windows to the outside world.

I met an interesting assortment of strange children during my stay. Most of them had brain damage and weren't fit to live in the outside world, but they were nice and didn't seem to mind living here. There weren't many in here like me, who were in here because they were actually crazy. There was one girl with curly red hair that came in one day, but only for a checkup. Her doctors advised her parents to check her in indefinitely, and I could see why, she was a lunatic. But they saw nothing wrong with her and took her home with them against their wishes. I believe her name was Izzy, but I wasn't really paying attention so I can't be sure.

I made the decision on the first day that if I was to be kept in a mental hospital, I was going to earn my keep, and so I put on a real show of acting crazy for the doctors. I channeled the others more often than I had in juvie. It was always painful for them to be forced out without any control, and that made it even more delicious.

I dug deep scratches into my arms with my fingernails and used the blood to draw pictures on the walls. For the first few days they kept me in a straightjacket, until I promised not to do it anymore.

I described to my doctors in great detail about every dark, sick, twisted thought that sprung forth from the murderous abyss that was my mind. I even howled at the moon sometimes just to top it all off. I went over the top with my performance, and I could see how it affected my doctors. Though they tried to remain professional, I could see the fear in their eyes.

In the early days of my stay, they treated me with therapy and drugs with weird names I could barely pronounce. They put me in group therapy, but my first session was also my last.

"Children, we have a new friend to talk to today. Please say hello to Mal."

Less than half acknowledged my presence. A few were excited to see a new face and were eager to welcome me into the flock. I took the only empty seat next to an overweight kid with thick glasses.

"Hi, my name's Jeremy," he whispered.

"Hello, Jeremy," I replied.

"Are you nervous about being here?"

"Why would I be nervous?"

"I'm always nervous, and I've been coming here for a while now."

"Do you live here, Jeremy?"

"No, I just come for therapy every week."

"Why do you need therapy? You seem like a normal kid."

"Well, I have trouble paying attention in school, and I get really worried sometimes. I have this problem… but therapy makes me feel better."

"That's good to hear. We'll be good friends, Jeremy."

"Mal, would you like to start us off today?" asked the doctor. He was in his late sixties, with thinning white hair. He smiled to encourage me.

"Would it be okay if I tell you all about myself?" I asked timidly. I put my hands behind my back and lowered my head in a show of bashfulness.

His eyes widened. Until now, I had given no hints to my past, they had no idea where I came from. Needless to say, his interest was piqued.

"That would be very brave of you. Go ahead, if you wish."

I cleared my throat. "Everyone thinks it's silly, but I have this fear. I know it's dumb, but I can't help it. They haunt my nightmares, every time I blink I see them. I can't escape, I know they're coming for me. They're following me, watching me all the time. They're going to get me someday, I just know it! The only sound I hear is that terrible noise they make! Make it stop!" I cried as I covered my ears.

"What are you afraid of, Mal?" asked the doctor.

"Ducks!"

"You think ducks are scary, too?" asked a little boy timidly.

"I got in trouble at school a lot because I was late to every class and I always missed the bus," I continued. "The reason is that I spent a lot of time organizing everything. I just couldn't stop myself, no matter how hard I tried. If things aren't in order, it bothers me. Why can't people just keep things in order, is that so hard? One of your buttons isn't done right on your coat, doctor. It's bothering me."

Jeremy said, "You have OCD too?"

"I also worry about my weight. My parents worry about me because I don't eat enough. I just don't want to get fat, no one will like me if I'm not perfect."

I watched the doctor's eyes slide off me and onto another girl, who blushed and looked away. I could see the gears turning in his head.

"I was abducted by aliens once, me and my cow-"

"Mal, this isn't you, you're talking about the other children. How do you know all this?"

"But the worst part of it all is my father." I looked the doctor right in the eye. "He used to be a surgeon, but he was fired because a patient he was working on died on the operating table. It was gallbladder removal surgery, it was supposed to be a simple procedure, but something went wrong and the patient's heart stopped. After he was fired, he went back to school and became a psychiatrist, and now he works in a children's mental ward. It's so shameful."

The doctor was speechless, but then he roughly took me by the arm and shoved me outside the door.

"How do you know these things?" he said as he slammed the door shut.

"I don't know what you're talking about, sir."

"None of what you said in there was about yourself, it was about the other children and me. How do you know these things?" He grabbed me by harshly the arms and shoved me against the wall.

"Did I upset you? At least I didn't mention how your wife left you, and how she won't let you see your daughter. I know it would really upset you if I reminded you of that."

His face turned purple in rage. "Tell me how you know those things! Tell me right now or I'll-"

"You'll what, sir?" I asked innocently enough, but with a challenge underneath. I grinned at him condescendingly, but then I caught sight of a nurse and I quickly rearranged my face to show fear.

"Dr. Berk! Unhand that child!" she said. She was a little pudgy, with graying brown hair.

"You haven't seen the things he's done in here, if you had you wouldn't be defending him. This is no child, I don't know what it is but it is not a child!" he growled.

I looked up at the nurse with doe eyes. "He won't let go of me, he's hurting my arms."

"There is nothing wrong with this boy, you talk of him as though he's not even human, and right in front of him, no less! Let go of him before I report you to the director. I'll take him back to his room."

Dr. Berk slowly released me, and the nurse held out her hand for me to take.

"Come with me, child."

I took her hand and let her lead me back to my room.

"Thank you for helping me, I was so scared," I told her.

"It was nothing, dear. I'm sure you didn't do anything to cause that man to behave that way."

"What's your name?"

"Barbara. What's yours?"

"Mal. Your name is pretty, it suits you."

"Thank you, that's very nice of you to say. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go back to my other patients."

"Wait a minute, can I ask you something?"

"What is it, darling?"

"I'm afraid of the doctors here. You saw how that man treated me, just because I'm different they don't like me. I need someone to take care of me, keep me safe. Maybe like a mother. My mother was very cruel to me, but you're so nice to me. Could you be my new mother?"

She looked taken aback, which was what I had expected, but mother's instinct won out in the end. I knew it would, I could see it written all over her face. There were two things I loved doing most in the world, and that was putting people in bad situations and seeing how they reacted, and finding a person's weak spot and picking at it until there was nothing left to pick.

"I suppose if you want to think of me that way, you can. I'll look after you."

She turned to go, but I said, "One more thing. I knew those things he was talking about because I escaped my room and looked through everyone's files a few days ago. It was easy, really. I also did research on the internet. I researched Dr. Berk, and the other doctors, too. I read your file, as well. You won't tell anyone, will you?"

She hesitated, unsure what she should do. She finally said, "I won't tell anyone, but you must promise not to do it again."

"I promise. Thank you for not telling, I know I can trust you," I said with a sweet smile.

She left the room and closed the door, and I silently congratulated myself. She had passed the test, and things had just gotten much more interesting.

"Hook, line, and sinker," I said with a dark chuckle.

* * *

The next day, I was sitting in the common area at one of the tables. Across from me sat an eleven year old boy with severe autism, who only spoke in numbers. I was sure the numbers meant something, but I had no idea what.

"Your move, Larry."

Larry only responded with more numbers, so I moved his checker piece for him.

Sitting by me was a fourteen year old girl named Alexa, who had Cotard's Syndrome. Also known as Walking Corpse syndrome, this meant she believed she was dead. Because she believed she was dead, she had taken huge risks and nearly gotten herself killed several times before being admitted here. Even now, she refused to eat anything and she claimed she was missing vital organs. These two were the usual ones that hung around me, but there were others too, ones who were really loony. I just attract those kinds of minds, I suppose.

The movie playing on TV was Bambi. They only showed movies that involved little to no violence, and this one was putting me to sleep. One boy by the television shouted at the rabbit for no apparent reason.

"You tell 'em, Ivan!" I said as I moved one of my black pieces on the board.

"What does it feel like to be alive, Mal?" asked Alexa with a yawn.

"Not much different than what it feels like to be a corpse. By the way, if you're dead, do you still have eyes?"

"No, they decayed along with everything else."

"Cool."

I moved another of Larry's pieces, and we became stuck in a stalemate. A big man in a suit who I had never seen before came over to the table and said, "What's your name, son?"

"Who's asking?"

"I'm Leo Thorndike, I'm one of the benefactors of this hospital. Every few months or so, I come to visit the patients and see how they're doing. I don't want my money wasted, you see."

"I see."

"I'd like to ask you a few questions about your stay here."

The director of the hospital came over and said, "Mr. Thorndike, wouldn't you rather talk to some of the other patients? This one is a little skittish around strangers."

"Nonsense, I love strange people." That got a laugh out of Mr. Thorndike.

"I like you, boy. So tell me, how do you like this hospital?"

The director glared at me over his shoulder. I was supposed to say nice things, only positive things about this place. I smiled really big and said, "I love this place, I never want to leave."

"Is that so? Tell me what you like about it."

"Where do I begin?"

"Why don't you start with the food."

"Okay, I will. The food is sublime, and I eat three meals every day. Sometimes the food tastes funny, I think they experiment on us. We are a captive audience, after all."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with trying new things."

"That's what I was thinking. As you can see by my strapping physique, I get a lot of exercise, they keep us healthy here."

"That's good to hear."

"At first, I didn't really want to run all those laps they make us run, but after they started using the whips, it made it so much easier."

"Whips? You use whips?" asked Mr. Thorndike. The director looked horrified.

"No! We would never do such a thing. Mal, no more of your lying."

I threw myself at the nurse and begged, "I'm sorry, I won't lie anymore. Just don't give me any more shock treatments, I promise I'll be good, I promise!"

"You use shock treatments, too?" asked Mr. Thorndike, appalled. "I will not fund such barbaric treatment methods!"

"But sir, wait! Don't listen to him, he's delusional! Ask the other children, they'll tell you we don't do things like that!"

I heard them arguing outside the common area, and I smiled to myself.

"Why did you lie?" asked a little boy putting together a puzzle on another table.

"Lying's the most fun I can have without slitting throats."

Everyone backed away from me, everyone except Larry and Alexa. Alexa already thought she was dead, so she didn't see me as a threat. Larry couldn't understand what I had said. He repeated a sequence of numbers, one he always repeated whenever I spoke. I realized I knew those numbers, but where had I seen them before? Then I remembered. I looked down at the numbers printed on my white shirt.

"That's my patient ID number. Every time someone speaks, you say their number. That wasn't in your file, look at that, I'm more clever than your doctor. What a surprise."

My free time ran out, and I was escorted back to my cell.

* * *

That night, I snuck out of my room. Security here wasn't exactly top notch, so it wasn't difficult. Security in juvie was tighter, and if I could sneak around there with little trouble, then this was no problem. I was already good at getting in and out of things, lax security just made it too easy.

I went outside, though I didn't intend to go too far. Eventually I planned to leave, but only when the mental hospital stopped being entertaining.

There were some woods outside the hospital, and I thought I heard something that sounded like singing. I followed the sound deeper into the forest, until I reached a small clearing, where a girl was twirling around, and singing a song I'd never heard before.

"I know you, I walked with you, once upon a dream."

An idea suddenly came to me, one I loved very much. I let Mike out of his chains, and I let him take control of the body for the first time in over a year.

**~Mike's POV~**

I couldn't believe it when Mal suddenly let me have control back. He unlocked my chains and put me back in charge. I knew there had to be a catch, but I had no idea what it could be. I didn't know what I should do, where I should go. If only I could wake up from this nightmare, then everything would be okay again, or at least, I hoped.

I had no idea how long it had been since Mal burned my house down. I had no idea what had happened since then, or where I was now.

I heard singing, and I looked up and saw a girl with long red hair in a white nightgown dancing with fireflies that were glowing like stars in the sky. She was beautiful in the moonlight, and I was transfixed by it.

She caught me looking and she gasped. "I didn't know anyone was here."

"It's okay, don't be embarrassed," I said quickly. "I liked your song, what's it called?"

"I don't know, it's from my favorite movie, _Sleeping Beauty_. The prince and the princess sing it to each other."

"Oh, well, it's nice. I'll leave you alone now."

"Wait." She came over and took me by the hand and pulled me into the clearing. "Do you live nearby? I've never seen you around here before. I'm staying with my grandparents for the weekend."

"I'm a long way from home, actually. I'm not even sure where home is anymore."

"Is that why you're so sad?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your eyes are sad, I've never seen eyes as sad as yours."

"I've lost things, that's why."

"You look really tired, too. You've got dark shadows under your eyes, you look like a raccoon."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, I like raccoons. But if you've lost things, that probably means you're lonely, I am too. We could be friends, and then neither of us would be lonely anymore."

She smiled, and it made me smile, too.

"Hey, do you like catching fireflies?"

"I've never done it before."

"I come out here sometimes at night to play with the fireflies. I like to pretend that they're fairies, and if you catch the right one, you'll get a wish granted. Want to join me?"

"Sure!"

The girl let go of my hand and snatched a firefly out of the air on her first try. She whispered something, and then let it go and it flew away.

"What did you wish for?"

"It has to stay secret, or it won't come true. Now you catch one."

I tried to catch the fireflies, but each one evaded my grasp.

"You make it look so easy."

"I've been doing it for a long time. Try it like this."

She caught another and showed it to me. She showed me the best way to catch them, and pretty soon I was able to catch them almost every time. The girl giggled as she chased the bugs, and though I couldn't bring myself to laugh with her, I was able to smile, something I hadn't been able to do in a long time. She made me want to be hopeful, though I didn't expect things to get any better anytime soon. Mal would probably have control for the rest of my life, or at least until I woke up, but at least I had this small moment when I could remember what it felt like to be happy.

I knew it was just a game and that these bugs couldn't grant wishes, but I made wishes on each one anyway. I wished that I could wake up from this nightmare and that everything would be the way it was supposed to be, and I wished that this girl would always be my friend. But if living in this nightmare meant I got to play with her, it wasn't so bad.

After a while of catching fireflies, I laid down in the grass. I don't know why, but I was so exhausted. I was also starving, but I was used to that. The girl laid down next to me, and she looked sleepy, too.

"I need to go home, but I don't want to," she yawned. "I've been having so much fun."

"Me too."

"Will you come back tomorrow night? So we can play with the fireflies again?"

"I'd love to."

I was about to ask her what her name was, but then Mal took back control. I struggled against his hold, I tried to fight back, he was too strong and he locked me back in my chains. He let me see out, like he did when my house burned, so I knew that this wasn't good.

**~Mal's POV~**

I took the scalpel out of my pocket as her eyelids closed. I brandished the blade to make sure Mike knew what I was doing.

"_Mal, no! Stop it! Please, I'm begging you, I'll do anything, just don't hurt her! She didn't do anything to you, you don't even know her! She's innocent, leave her alone, please let her go!" _Mike screamed. The others yelled at me along with him, none of them wanted to watch this girl die.

I raised the scalpel in the air and was about to bring it down to slice into her chest when someone yelled, "There she is!"

I ran behind a tree as a group of people entered the clearing. She sat up and blearily asked, "What's going on? Mom, Dad, why are you here?"

"We've been looking everywhere for you! Grandma and Grandpa called us when they couldn't find you, why did you run away?" asked her father. He picked her up and held onto her. I closed off the windows so Mike could no longer see or hear what was happening.

"I didn't run away, I was going to come back soon. I was just playing with the fireflies, and the boy with the raccoon eyes in the white pajamas."

"What boy? There's no one here," said her mother.

"Where did he go?" she asked.

"You must have dreamed him. Now no more sneaking out at night, you hear me, Zoey Roth?"

"Okay, I won't, Mama," she said sadly.

They carried her away, and Mike said, _"She got away, she's safe."_

I was miffed that my plan hadn't worked, but you can't win 'em all, I guess. I went back to the hospital, whistling my favorite tune.

* * *

Barbara came to see me the next day. I was watching an animated movie about a boy living in the jungle.

"Hello darling," she greeted me.

"Hey Barbara, come sit with me!" I said with a smile as I patted the bed beside me. She came and sat beside me.

"I see you like _The Jungle Book_," she commented.

"I like the tiger, and how Mowgli tied a burning stick to his tail."

She brushed my hair out of my eye. "You shouldn't hide your face, you have such lovely eyes."

I didn't argue or put my hair back the way I liked it. You have to pick your battles. I personally have never cared about my appearance, it's stupid and a waste of time.

"Mal, we need to talk."

"Did you know I'm not the original owner of this body?" I asked her out of the blue.

"I- what?"

I had been wondering for some time what they would do if they knew this body belonged to someone else. I knew most people would just think I'm even crazier than they thought, but I wanted to see what Barbara would say.

"You heard me. This body isn't mine, I stole it."

"You… stole it?" I could tell she was skeptical, but she kept asking questions as though she believed me. "Stole it from who?"

"My brother. Well, I thought I was his brother for some time but as it turns out, I'm not. I don't know what I am, or where I came from, or why I'm here. I just am."

Barbara looked concerned as I kept up my neutral expression. She changed the subject. "Mal, I need to talk to you. It's important."

"About what?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the screen.

"The doctors think you need different treatment. You're not in trouble, but the doctors in this ward don't think they can give you the care you need."

"They're so thoughtful."

"You're going to be moved to a new room, and you'll have new doctors. But don't worry, I'll still come see you every day."

I looked her in the eye. "You promise?"

"I promise."

Five minutes later, I was being moved to a whole new room, but this one looked far less friendly. The room was barely bigger than a closet, with just a bed with a thin mattress and a metal toilet. The bed had straps, which didn't bode well. I didn't mind the change of scenery, and I was excited to see what the doctors had in store for me in here. This floor was below ground level, and I had never heard it mentioned before. I was excited for what was to come.

Three hours after I was relocated, two doctors came in. They brought a cart with a machine I had never seen before.

"Hello friends!" I said as I leapt off my bed to meet them. "What's this machine do? Can I push the buttons?"

One of them forced me back onto to the bed and strapped me down, and I didn't try to fight him. The other put electrodes on my head and flipped a switch on the machine. I instantly felt every nerve in my body erupt in flame, my body convulsed and spasmed uncontrollably.

They only kept it going for about five seconds. They turned off the machine and undid my straps. Though my body was no longer on fire, the pain was still intense. As I gasped for air, I laughed at them.

"Wow, I was just making that whole thing up about the shock treatments, but you really do it! That felt good, give me some more. Come on, don't be stingy, give me more electricity!"

The doctors exchanged concerned glances and then left. Barbara came in after them and I immediately replaced my smile with tears.

"Mal, are you all right?"

"Everything hurts so much, why did they do that to me?"

"It's just to help you, I'm sorry that it hurts. It won't be like this forever."

She sat down on the bed and took me in her arms. I kept up the flow of tears and let her comfort me.

* * *

I still had to go to therapy, but these sessions were private. My new doctor was a very stern man who didn't react when I tried to mess with him. Every time I would tell a joke or say something morbid, he just scribbled on his notepad and didn't change expression. I had seen oatmeal that was more lively than him. I made it my goal to get a reaction out of him, one way or another.

I escaped from my cell again. It wasn't easy, but I was practically Houdini when it came to getting in and out of places undetected. I looked at the records again and discovered something interesting: my doctor was allergic to one of the drugs they used here at the hospital. I used this newfound information and broke into the stores of medicine and smuggled out some of the drug.

While I was in the records room, I took a few minutes to check my own file to see if anything had changed. Most of the spaces were marked unknown. They had me down as Mal Doe, a name that sounded way too innocent and naïve for someone like me. On here, it said I had a higher than average IQ. My doctor had given me an IQ test, and when he saw my results, it was the first time I'd ever seen him emote in anyway. He raised his eyebrows, I think he hit his first emotional milestone that day. I didn't care about my IQ score, I already knew I was smart, I didn't need to prove that to anyone.

I read through my list of symptoms. "Symptoms include: superficial charm, delusions of grandeur, narcissistic behavior, habitual lying, insomniac, manipulative, self-destructive behavior, violent behavior towards others, morbid fascination with death, antisocial behavior, impulsiveness, lack of remorse, and generally apathetic. Yup, that's me in a nutshell. Now, let's see what's new on the list. Hold on, hallucinations? I don't hallucinate. Maybe they're referring to when I talk to the others in my head. Idiots. Dissociative tendencies?" I had to check a dictionary for that one. I'd had to consult a dictionary for most of these medical terms. "To sever the association of oneself; separate. Whatever that means. Let's see if they have a diagnosis for me yet. Diagnosis: Inconclusive. All these symptoms and they can't make up their minds? What do I have to do, spin the wheel of psychosis?"

I closed the folder and put it back in the filing cabinet. I wasn't that concerned with having a diagnosis, but I was curious to know what they thought was wrong with me. But the fact that they didn't know probably unnerved them more than it would if they could just slap a label on my forehead. They didn't know what I was, and not knowing can be terrifying. Ignorance isn't always bliss.

The next day, during therapy, I waited until my doctor wasn't looking and poured the drug into his coffee. I assumed an innocent expression and pretended to listen as he continued on speaking about the most boring things in the world. I think he was talking about channeling anger into more constructive outlets like gardening or basket weaving, but I really wasn't paying attention so he could have been talking about dinosaurs in tutus for all I know. He finished his coffee and less than a minute later he started choking. He collapsed on the floor, writhing in agony. I stood over him with a broad smile on my face as I watched him die.

"Nighty, night, doc."

But then we were interrupted when someone came in uninvited. Barbara came in and I immediately ran over to her.

"Barbara! Something's wrong with my doctor!"

"Oh my goodness!" Barbara went to work and, unfortunately, saved his life. Later, in my room, Barbara confronted me on it, as I had expected she would.

"Mal, how did that drug get into that man's coffee?"

"I put it in there." Rather than make up an excuse, I told her the truth, or most of it anyway. I didn't want to tell her my reason for doing it was mostly out of boredom and because it was fun, so I made up a reason that would be easier for her to understand. "He was a mean man, and those doctors hurt me with the shock treatments. I wanted to scare them all, show them that it's a mistake to ever mess with me!"

"How could you?" she said in horror.

I got off my bed and went over to her. I put my arms around her middle and sweetly said, "I'm sorry I upset you, I didn't mean to. I didn't know it was wrong. I'm so glad you're my new mother, you're not mean like my old one. I'm lucky to have such a pretty mother, such a kind mother, such a loving mother, such a forgiving mother. You're the best mother in the whole world."

She left for a moment and came back with two little blue pills. "Do you still have trouble sleeping, Mal?"

"I've not slept a wink since I took control of the mind."

She shuddered at that, but said nothing about it. "I've got medicine here for you that will help you sleep. You've got dark circles under your eyes, you must be so tired. It's no wonder you act out, really, if you can't ever sleep."

"Oh no, sleep has nothing to do with it."

"Here, take these pills. You'll feel so much better after a good night's sleep."

I took the pills and popped them in my mouth. I opened up to show her I had swallowed them.

"Good, now you can sleep peacefully."

I yawned. "I think I'll go to bed now. Goodnight, Barbara."

"Goodnight, child."

As soon as she closed the door, I took the pills out from under my tongue and crushed them with my foot. I didn't need sleep, and if I did, that would be wasting eight hours of the day. I don't like to waste anything, especially not time.

Three days later, Barbara walked into my room while I was busy. She screamed and I just rolled my eyes.

"Mal, what have you done?" she asked in horror.

I was carving up the face of the doctor who had just finished giving me my shock therapy. I was kept separated from the other patients, so I had to get my hands dirty. She came over and snatched the bloody knife out of my hands. "Where did you get this?"

"I found it."

"Why did you do this? Mal, you can't do things like this!"

"I didn't know it was wrong," I said innocently.

"Don't give me that, it won't work anymore. You know perfectly well the difference between right and wrong."

I got off my bed and hugged her again, getting blood all over her. "Do you still love me?"

"Well… of course I do, but why do you do these things? Why do you hurt people?"

"I just do."

"What if you get caught? I don't want you to get in trouble, but you will if you keep doing things like this!"

"The hospital has a furnace, just put him in there. No one ever has to know if you help me. Will you help me?"

Barbara looked incredibly conflicted, but she nodded. She put the body on a stretcher and covered it with a sheet and took it to the furnace. After that was done, she brought me a change of clothes and cleaned the blood off of me and off my bed and the floor. She was very good at cleaning up crime scenes. I personally didn't care if I got caught, I mean, what could they do to me? Send me back to juvie? More shock treatments? Of course, they could always lobotomize me… but I'm not the type to worry. And as long as she hung around and was willing to clean up my messes, I figured I might as well use her.

"Now promise me you won't ever do anything like this ever again," she said sternly after the job was done.

"I promise," I said as I hugged her again. I promised every time, and every time I broke that promise.

This went on for an entire year. Barbara never turned me in when I hurt or killed someone. Since I had her around, I used little to no caution and so she was always left to clean up after me, telling herself this would be the last time but not meaning it. She took care of the dirty work and planted evidence that pointed away from me so I was never caught.

I could see how the guilt was eating away at her sanity. She knew I needed to be stopped, but she didn't want to see me hurt. Her mother's instinct was too strong, I was like a son to her, and she didn't want anything bad to happen to me. She only became more sympathetic to me after they started putting me on different drugs, and she hated seeing me in pain after the shock treatments. I became violently ill, and she was there to help me through it.

"There, there, Mal. You're going to get better soon," she said as I heaved my guts up into the toilet. I finally finished and laid down on the floor, feelings like I'd just had my insides squeezed out of me. She made me get up and helped me walk back to the bed.

"These drugs are making you so sick, and this illness is only making you thinner. You were already skinny, but now you're wasting away. You must eat more, and you need to stay hydrated. If they keep you on these pills, they may do irreversible damage."

"It's a good thing I have you to take care of me, huh? No one else will, not even me."

"I'm going to rectify that."

She took my pillow and fluffed it, but she noticed something strange inside it. She reached her hand in pulled it out, and she dropped it on the floor and screamed.

"Why is there a brain in your pillow?!"

"Don't worry," I said with a cough. "I got it from the morgue, it's not fresh."

"Oh thank goodness. Why do you have it, though? How did you get to the morgue?"

"I went through the door. And I took it because I wanted to."

She knew she wasn't getting any more answers out of me than that. "I'm taking this back, no more field trips to the morgue."

"Whatever you say, Barbara."

Even in that state, I didn't stop hurting people, and she forgave me every time. She was a total sucker. I wanted to see what she would do if I pushed her far enough, and one night, it finally happened, but things played out differently than I had expected.

She brought me my dinner as usual, a bowl of chicken noodle soup. She left without saying a word. I ate three spoonfuls and then put the bowl down. A few minutes later I started to feel light-headed. I became sick to my stomach and I vomited on the floor. As I was lying on the floor, I realized that Barbara had poisoned me.

The poison, combined with the psychoactive drug I was on, produced a strange effect. I felt like I was outside my body. I was still in control, but I felt like I was watching it move, instead of moving it myself. I watched as I escaped my cell for the last time. I passed by Barbara, who was lying on the floor dying. It was only because of her that no one caught me, everyone was trying to help her and they didn't notice me as I passed by. She must have poisoned herself when she poisoned me. I must not have eaten enough of the soup to do me in. All I could think was that this stupid woman couldn't even kill someone right. I laughed at that, how pathetic and gullible she was.

I ran up the stairs until I came to the top floor, and I opened a window and stepped out on the ledge. In that moment, I was sure that if I jumped, the others would die and I would be the only one left in the mind. I wasn't an idiot, I knew that it would never work, but in the state I was in it seemed perfectly logical.

I was about to jump, when I was suddenly forced back. I can only guess survival instinct kicked in and their chains were broken. I lost control of the body and Svetlana took over. She got us out of that hospital and got far away from it as Manitoba and Vito grabbed me. I struggled, I kicked and tried to squirm out of their hold, but in my weakened state it was no good. Manitoba got me in a choke-hold, and Vito punched me in the face and then grabbed my legs.

"_This must be it, I'm finally waking up. It's almost over, I'm almost free_," said Mike, sounding so relieved.

"_If you do this, things will go back to the way they were. The world bows down to me, I'm the only one who can keep you all safe, you're nothing without me."_

"_Shut up, Mal,"_ said Manitoba. _"No one's interested in anything you have to say."_

"_We'll see how you like being chained up,"_ said Vito.

But just before they sealed me in, as my final act to show them all who was really king in here, I took the remainder of Mike's memories, every single one, and it nearly killed me. Now Mike would have no idea where he came from or what his past had been like. This was a mercy in a way, he would never have to face those horrible memories again. I would bear them in his place, they would torment me for eternity, instead of him. But at the same time, how terrible to not know who you really are. As if Mike wasn't already a big enough freak, being an amnesiac would only make it worse. What kind of life could he lead like this? I couldn't wait to watch him fall.

To take all those terrible memories at once was excruciating. The weight of them was crippling, they were too much to bear, but I bore them regardless. Mike screamed, this was painful for him too, but it was over in an instant, and he was now a blank slate. This was the last time I would ever help Mike. I no longer felt any guilt or any need to protect him. He was on his own, and he now had a very powerful enemy.

I left Mike with just one memory of me, so he would know I existed. It was the memory of when I stabbed the guard between the eyes with the fork. I gave him this memory so that he would know what I was like, and that I could take down anyone who dared cross him. It was a vague memory, easily forgotten unless he was specifically thinking of me. Someday he would remember me, I would make sure of that.

They chained me to a boulder in Mike's mind. They didn't even have the decency to imprison me in my tower, they just left me out here.

"_I'm going to escape, you can't keep me locked away forever. You'll regret this when I'm free,"_ I growled.

"_You're never getting out, ya scaly crocodile."_

I watched as they took Mike, who looked so very weak, and put him back in control.

"_We're gonna be all right, you hear me, mate?"_

"_Don't screw this up, bro."_

"_Get a move on, I'm not gettin' any younger!"_

Mike was in no way ready to take back control. Being chained up so long had left him weak and confused, and a lot had changed since he'd last been in the driver's seat. Not to mention the body was still drugged, so he had that clouding his brain.

"Where am I?" he asked himself.

Before him was an open road. It was a dirt road, and it was empty. Having nowhere else to go, he walked along it, shivering from the cold night air. Clouds filled the sky and rain poured down, along with thunder and lightning. Mike needed shelter, but he was lost. All he could do was hope that this road led to somewhere good, but it just seemed to stretch on forever.

He kept walking down that road for two days, starving, dehydrated, and freezing after the sun went down. The body had had no sleep for two years, I might be able to function perfectly without it but Mike needed it. He felt hopeless; he had nowhere to go and no one to look after him. Was he to die out here?

His body became so exhausted that he could barely walk without tripping over his own feet. He kept stumbling and falling in the dirt, he would be crawling soon. He knew he shouldn't let himself sleep, it would be too dangerous out here. But he couldn't fight the numbing fatigue and he fell to the ground by the road, and fell asleep almost instantly.

When he later awoke, it was to the concerned voice of a woman asking, "Is he dead?"

"No, he's breathing."

Mike felt a hand turn him over onto his back. His eyes shot open and he screamed, he panicked and tried to run away but a man grabbed him by the hand and wouldn't let go. It was nighttime, and the only source of light was from the headlights of the couple's car. Mike wouldn't be able to see where he was going, but that didn't occur to him.

"Hey little fella, don't be scared, we're not going to hurt you. Are you lost?"

Mike wouldn't answer and kept trying to pull his hand free so he could get out of here.

"What's your name?" the man continued. "Where do you live? Who are your parents, do you know their phone number?"

Mike stopped trying to free himself because it was no use, but he still wouldn't talk to them. He was scared out of his wits, too scared to even speak. But even if he could speak, he had no answers to give them. The man and woman didn't need an answer though, it was clear that this child desperately needed help.

"Let's take him to the police station, they can help him there," said the woman. "Come with us, we'll help you."

Mike was unsure if he should go with them or not, but if he didn't he would be stuck on this road forever. Reluctantly, he followed them back to their car. There were already two children inside, a boy and a girl, both younger than him. Mike got in and hugged his knees to his chest and wouldn't look at anyone.

"Who's he, Mommy? Why's he riding with us?" asked the girl.

"He just needs a little help, he got lost."

"What's your name?" asked the boy.

Mike didn't answer.

"What's wrong? Can't you talk?"

Silence.

"Eric, leave him alone. Don't bother him," his mother scolded.

No one spoke the rest of the trip. They took him to a police station and reported that they had found him wandering down the road. The police asked him many questions to try to find out who he was or where he had come from, but Mike couldn't tell them anything so he became frustrated and upset, causing Chester to come out for a few minutes. When Mike took back control, no one asked him anymore questions. He was taken to the captain's office to wait. He held his arms around his stomach and stayed curled in on himself to protect himself. The family that had found him told Mike goodbye and left the station as soon as the report was complete.

I recollect on all these events nearly every day. I try to erase them from my memory, I try to not think about them, but the memories assault me all the time. I suppose I deserve it, it's my curse to remember, to pay for my crimes. But if it is punishment, it's not very effective. I feel no remorse for my actions in the past, or for things I might do in the future. I am beyond caring.

There are times when I wish I was still Jake, when I wish I was still Mike's friend. These feelings are fleeting though, they never last long and quickly fade away. I like being Mal more than I ever liked being Jake. I prefer to destroy, rather than create. Chaos is my only love, and I intend to create as much chaos as possible in my time in this corrupt, dying world.

I knew that this station was just the gateway to one of two places: a foster home or an orphanage. Or, there was always the third option, the asylum again, if they realized how crazy he was. Wherever we were headed, I swore to take back control somehow, someday.

Next time, it would be permanent.

**Epilogue Part 1: Hell**

Their names were Victor Wise and Eleanor Stiletto.

Victor Wise grew up privileged, not rich, but not far off, either. He was the only son of an esteemed lawyer, and no one in the community had any doubts that he would follow in his footsteps and do great things.

Victor was a very intelligent, very handsome boy growing up. His family loved him very much and they raised him to always do right. He was always at the top of each class, no one could compete with him. He was also gifted physically, he led his football team to victory more than once. All that combined with his dark hair that never would lie completely flat, his dark skin tone, and his charming smile, every girl at school dreamed of him asking them out.

After high school, he went on to college to study law, as was expected of him. While in college, he proposed to the homecoming queen, and they were later married, once he had his degree. They gave birth to two beautiful twin children, and he became one of the most highly esteemed lawyers in Canada. Not only that, but he was also a deacon at his church and taught Sunday school to the teenage boys, and he even preached a sermon every now and again. He also had plans to run for mayor of their little town. He always treated his neighbors fairly, with dignity, honesty, and respect. He was the man mothers wanted their sons to grow up to be, and other men envied him. He was a pillar of the community and well-loved by everyone.

But there was a side to Victor that no one knew about. He was a textbook psychopath.

Eleanor Stiletto seemed normal enough, just slightly off. She was very pretty, did well in school, had a few friends, and she showed promise. But in her late teens, she developed schizophrenia. She would not go back to school out of paranoia, and her father didn't stop her. He was in a wheelchair and he had Alzheimer's, and so he couldn't force her to do anything. Everyone in town warned their children to stay away from strange Eleanor. They had seen her throw violent tantrums, and with her crazy behavior, they feared her.

Victor and Eleanor's lives intertwined on the night of his bachelor party. Eleanor was the stripper; Victor's friends thought it would be funny to bring in the crazy girl, and despite her insanity, she was still very beautiful.

That night, Victor slept with Eleanor, and none of his friends ever squealed on him. He forgot all about it until nine months later.

She came to see him on a rainy night, with their son in her hands. Fortunately for him, his wife was not home that night. He told her to get rid of it, and she almost did, but then he had another idea.

He sent her back home and promised her that if she told no one of this, he would make sure she lived comfortably. She agreed, and she kept her promise.

Eleanor named the baby Michael, but called him Mike. Though she loved him, she had episodes where she would hurt him. Never physically, but she would forget to feed him or clean him. She would leave him alone for extended periods of time and ignore his cries. Sometimes she would neglect him for days. Her father lived with them, but he was in no physical or mental shape to care for a child.

When Mike was older, but still just a toddler, Victor started visiting. Mike learned quickly to fear him and to hide when he came. Victor would sometimes make up excuses to hurt him, but in reality, he didn't need one. He always found him wherever he was hiding, and would leave bruises and cuts to remember him by after he left.

He kept Eleanor and Mike around because with them, he had total power and control. He didn't love anyone or anything, but he acted kind and loving to his wife and children and he had a great marriage. He used Eleanor and Mike as a means to blow off steam and assert his power and authority. He was living the best of both worlds.

Victor was never drunk when he abused Mike. He didn't like the feeling of loss of control, and he wanted to have complete control at all times, so he almost never drank any alcohol. So every time he hit Mike, or kicked him, or broke a bone, he knew exactly what he was doing, and he enjoyed every second of it.

Eleanor often locked Mike away because she felt that if he spent enough time alone it would make him into a good boy. Nevermind that he always tried to do right, something would always set her off.

Eleanor was like a toy to Victor, and he always got her to do whatever he wanted. He made her think they were married, and she secretly started referring to herself as Eleanor Wise, and did the same with Mike. She loved Victor, she thought he was perfect. He didn't hurt her, and when he abused their children, she either didn't see it or thought they deserved it. By her, he had two more children, but Eleanor killed them both as children.

She killed her daughter because she started to cry one night. The baby almost never cried, but this one time was enough to set her off, and she poisoned her. She told Mike she was sick and he tried to nurse her back to health like he had done for Jake in the past, but there was nothing he could do. She buried the girl herself outside.

One day, while Mike was locked away in the broom closet, a man passing through town saw Jake playing outside and noticed that he looked like he had been badly hurt, and his marks looked intentional. He called social services and they came over a few days later. Mike was in preschool, and Eleanor put on her best dress and dressed Jake in clothes to cover his marks and bruises. The house was already neat because Mike cleaned up to try to keep her happy, and when they came inside Eleanor was able to put on a good enough show to convince them that everything was fine. They praised Eleanor on being such a good mother and left, but in her paranoia she believed it was just a ruse and they would come for her son and take him. That same night, as he was playing in the tub, she drowned him and told Mike it was an accident, but that he was safe now. She had him bury him under the swimming pool. Why she didn't murder Mike as well was a mystery, not even she knew why.

The loss of his siblings, compounded with everything else, caused Mike to develop Dissociative Identity Disorder. This only gave his father more reason to abuse him, and his mother locked him away even longer. Victor assumed the boy had inherited his mother's insanity; it never occurred to him that the boy might have been born normal, or that he was one of the causes of his disorder.

When Mike turned six, he went to school along with the other children his age. He never spoke of his home life, because his father had warned him not to. Though he was very shy and quiet, he tried to befriend the other children. He made a few friends, but none of them were close friendships. The teacher noticed the bruises and the broken bones that he often had, but she knew little boys were wild and liked to climb trees and play rough, so she assumed these were all the results of accidents. Especially with an imagination like his, there was no keeping him from pulling dangerous stunts. When she asked him how he had been hurt, he always confirmed her beliefs by passing off his injuries as accidents. She saw no reason to investigate his home life, not even when he came in one day and cried out whenever anything touched his leg. Mike said he had been bitten by a stray dog, when really his pant leg hid a burn from a flat-iron.

His teacher wasn't the only blind person in town. Most people, the police included, didn't know what to make of Eleanor and so they treated her like you would treat a bee: Leave her alone and maybe she'll leave you alone. They suspected things might not be right in that house, but no one wanted to get involved. She usually stayed under police radar, and whenever they did investigate, Victor had already told her what to do to relieve their suspicions. No one looked harder at her or her son than they had to.

People automatically assumed Mike would be just like his mother, and that was another reason they looked the other way. They tolerated Eleanor and Mike, and tried to pretend they didn't exist. No one in town knew that Mike had MPD, they just thought he was strange. His father could have put the pieces together and figured it out, but he never cared enough to. It wouldn't have made a difference, anyway. He always assumed that Mike was either born crazy or he would become crazy, so his odd behavior was not unexpected.

When people saw Mike playing outside, they wondered who his father was. He didn't get his dark skin tone from his mother, that was for sure, and he had a certain resemblance to Victor Wise. But these rumors were always quickly stomped out, no one ever doubted Victor's loyalty and integrity.

Victor believed that Mike was too weak and cowardly to ever stand up to him, even after he grew up he knew he'd always have power over him. Little did he know that by tormenting and abusing Mike, he was creating his own worst enemy.

The personality called Mal, though he was not called that at that time, tried to protect Mike from his parents, and ultimately, he succeeded. He burned their house to the ground one night while Victor was staying with them, and by the time they woke up, it was too late to escape. They were engulfed in flames, and they died agonizing deaths.

But Mal accomplished something he had never set out to do: he unintentionally destroyed Victor's reputation by killing him. The firemen and the police found two bodies, and they were able to identify these bodies as Eleanor Stiletto and Victor Wise.

The old rumors about Victor being involved with Eleanor came back full force, and this time, they could not be stopped. They never found the body of Michael Stiletto, and so the community assumed he was the one who started the fire. He had always acted strangely, they assumed he had his mother's mental illness, and so it made sense for him to be the culprit.

But what was Victor Wise doing in that house that night? He should have been in his own home, with his wife and children. If he had, he would have still been alive. The more they thought about it, the more they believed that he was the father of Eleanor's baby. But that would mean he had been cheating on his wife and had an illegitimate child, and with the town psycho no less. People had also often wondered if there was abuse taking place in that house, had Victor been the one hurting Mike? Was that why Mike had set the house on fire, to escape? Victor would never do such a thing as that. Or would he?

For the first time, people started to wonder if maybe they should have taken a closer look at what had been going on in that house. Maybe they should have helped Mike, instead of letting it get this far. Maybe Mike hadn't been crazy like they had assumed. Whether he was or not, they finally felt guilty for never stepping in and doing something. They'd always felt sorry for him, but never sorry enough to do anything to help him.

The name Victor Wise became a taboo in the community. They had trusted this man and looked up to him, never doubted him for a second. He was held to a higher standard than everyone else, he was supposed to be a pillar of the community, a leader in the church, but he had brought shame and disgrace down on his family.

So Mal succeeded in two ways. He freed Mike from his parent's abuse, and he destroyed Victor's good name in the process.

So, in a way, justice prevailed.

**End of Part 1**


	9. The Silent Boy

**Part 2: The Skinner Family**

It was the middle of summer. Jack and Holly Skinner had just gotten back from a cruise with their friends and were getting ready for bed when they got the phone call that would change their lives forever.

"Why must vacations always end? It's not right," said Jack as he put his suitcase on the bed and started unpacking.

"It was so nice of Kevin and Tonya to invite us to go on that cruise with them, I needed that," said Holly as she unpacked her suitcase beside him. "Devon was so nice, and their new baby is so cute, don't you think?"

"Cute? The kid looks exactly like Kevin, I don't see what's so cute about that," he said with a laugh.

"We should go on cruises more often, maybe we could take Dad and Wendy. I know Dad must miss the sea since he sold his boat. Then again, I don't know if he's really the party cruise type."

"It's just as well, the man still hates my guts, and we've been married for nearly a decade."

"Your grandmother still thinks you shouldn't have married me, so we're even."

"I don't think Nana would want to go on a cruise anyway, she'd be bored to death unless they let her steer the ship, and she's what now, five hundred years old? So I guess it would just be you and me."

"Maybe not, if we're lucky. We haven't had any foster kids for several weeks now, one is bound to show up at our door sooner or later. What do you hope the next one is, boy or girl?"

"As long as they get my jokes, I'm not picky. And I do hope they're not as much a handful, those twins we had last time brought no end of trouble. But hopefully they'll wait until after we've had a good night's sleep, relaxing sure is tiring. And tomorrow it's back to the real world and we get to go back to work."

"Don't set the stove on fire at the restaurant."

"I'm not going to set the stove on fire, that was one time."

"Our third date."

"You married me anyway, and now everything I make is superb."

"I can't argue there."

They finished unpacking and then they dressed in their pajamas and went to bed. The second they pulled the blanket over their heads, the phone rang. Jack answered it and said, "Hello?"

"This is Lieutenant Bishop with the police. We were given your number by local foster care services. We have a child here that we need someone to keep for a few days until we can find him a permanent home. Can you take him in? Preferably tonight?"

"We'll be right there." Jack hung up the phone.

"Who was it, honey?" Holly asked with a yawn.

"Looks like the foster kid you were talking about couldn't wait. They've got a kid down at the station and they've asked us to take care of him for a while until they can find him a place to stay."

"Oh, how wonderful. Let me change out of my pajamas and let's go."

They both got out of bed and changed into regular clothes quickly. Jack fixed his thick brown hair and put on his glasses, and Holly brushed her short blonde hair back. She put on lipstick and mascara, but didn't bother with anymore makeup since it was so late. She grabbed her purse and they dashed out the door and drove to the police station.

Despite the late hour, the Skinners were more than happy to go meet this child. They had always wanted a child, but they'd been told years ago by doctors that they couldn't have one of their own. They had instead become foster parents, and they were usually the first ones called when a child was brought in and needed a temporary place to stay. They liked all of the children they looked after, but none of them were the right fit and they'd gone on to live with other families. Sometimes they worried that no child would ever be the right one.

Once they were at the station, they met with a woman from foster services. Her name was Zita Carmichael, and they knew her well from other cases.

"Before you meet this boy, I need to tell you some things to warn you."

"Warn us?" said Holly.

"This child presents a bit of a problem-"

"Zita, we've taken in kids from abusive homes before, we know the drill," said Jack. "We don't need a warning."

"That's part of the problem. We have no idea where this boy came from."

"What do you mean?" asked Holly.

"He was found alone on a road outside of town, he was picked up by another family and brought here. Thank goodness it was a good family, anyone could have found him out there."

"So he's a runaway?"

"We assume, but he won't tell us. He hasn't spoken a word since he was brought in."

"Oh, the poor dear," said Holly.

"But this isn't what I wanted to warn you about. We believe he might have Multiple Personality Disorder. Have you heard of that?"

"I've heard of it, but I don't know much about it," said Holly. "It means he has more than one personality, right?"

"Yes, at its most basic level."

"But if you only found him tonight, and he won't speak, how could you possibly already know that? It takes days, even weeks to diagnose someone," said Holly.

"Of course it's not a definitive diagnosis, he would need to see a specialist for that. But he has shown signs of having the condition. An hour after he was brought in, he hunched over and spoke in a tone of voice that didn't belong to a child. That was the only time he spoke, and afterwards, he went back to being silent, as though nothing had happened. When he was talking, he didn't give us any useful information."

"Now, that doesn't sound like a mental disorder to me. The boy probably just has an overactive imagination, nothing to worry about."

"Mr. Skinner-"

"Can we see the boy now?" he asked.

Zita nodded and took them to where Mike was being held. Along the way, Holly whispered to Jack, "We should listen to her. If they think he has something wrong with him, we need to know about it before we take him in."

"Do you honestly believe a person could have more than one personality?" he whispered back. "I mean, how does that happen? It's just another ploy by the drug companies to make money by selling drugs to people for conditions that don't exist. The boy's probably just got some quirks, and who doesn't?"

The boy was sitting in the captain's office. His eyes were pointed at his lap, and in his hands was a rubix cube, half completed.

"Hello, Captain Fitzgerald," said Jack.

"Hello, Skinners. I had this rubix cube laying on my desk, I thought I'd give him something to do while he waited. I couldn't put a dent in it, but he's already halfway done. He's a smart one, that's for sure. I'll let you have some privacy."

The captain left, and Zita said, "Hi there, remember me?"

The boy nodded but didn't look up.

"I've brought in some people for you to meet, their names are Jack and Holly Skinner. Is it okay if they talk to you for a while?"

He nodded yes, and Zita said, "I'll leave you alone for a few minutes, but I'll be back soon. You have nothing to be afraid of with them." Zita left the room.

"Hi, I'm Holly, it's a pleasure to meet you," said Holly gently as she knelt down on her knees. "Could you give us your name?"

No response.

"That's okay, you'll talk when you're ready, won't ya buddy?" Jack got down on one knee so that they were on the same level. "I'm Jack, by the way. Not Jack in the Box or the Jack who climbed the Beanstalk, just plain old Jack."

Still nothing. He completed the rubix cube and set it on the table, and then put his arms around his knees and buried his face in them, as if to hide.

Jack and Holly looked at each other, then back at him. They had never had a kid ignore them completely like this, at least not before announcing they were going to ignore them. There was the possibility that he was unable to speak, but they knew it was more likely that he was too frightened to speak. They could sense the fear radiating from him, they'd never encountered a child before who was this scared.

They took a good look at him. He was wearing all white clothes that were splotched with dirt. His feet were bare and scratched from walking so long without shoes. Every visible part of him was filthy, and his hair was long and out of control, it reached down to his shoulders. His body looked haggard and frail. His hair covered one of his eyes, and the one they could see had a dark, bruise-like shadow under it. He was tall, but thin as a pencil. They had taken in kids before who were in bad shape, but none as bad as this. They both wondered what his story was.

"Hey, do you like chocolate? I just so happen to have some with me." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a chocolate bar. "Would you like it?"

The boy finally looked up and eyed the candy, but quickly put his head back down.

"Well, if you don't want it, there's no sense in letting it go to waste. Holly, would you like it?"

The boy reached up and snatched it from his hands, tore it open, and ate it ravenously. Holly wondered when he'd last had anything to eat. After he finished he curled up and hid his face again.

"I thought you looked hungry. Do you feel better now?"

He nodded.

"Good, good. Nothing makes you feel better than sugar. Now that you're feeling better, I have a question to ask you: Do you want to stay here at the police station?"

He shook his head no.

"Yeah, I didn't think so. The policemen here are nice, but the place really isn't made for sleepovers. Tell you what, how would you like to come stay with us, just for a few nights? We have an empty room with a nice, warm, soft bed, and you've got to be exhausted. We don't have many toys, but we have a few you could play with. And you'd be staying with the head chef from Pierre's restaurant downtown, I'll make you your favorite meal, how does that sound?"

He didn't respond.

"Please come stay with us," said Holly. "We'd love to have you. We won't hurt you, we promise. We only want to keep you safe, I promise nothing bad will happen to you while you're with us."

Very slowly, the boy uncurled himself. He looked up, but he still wouldn't make eye contact. He stood to his feet and nodded.

"Wonderful! Now, we have a couple papers to sign, but then we'll go straight home, okay?"

He nodded again, and then followed them out of the room.

Jack and Holly signed the papers as quickly as possible. As they were leaving, the captain passed them by and said, "Take care, son."

They took the boy home, and he stayed silent the entire way. He stared out the window, and they wondered what he was thinking about.

They reached their house and went inside. The walls were painted light green and the couches were tan plush. In the center was a coffee table with red and orange lilies in a vase. There was a fireplace, and above that a mantle with snowglobes and an antique vase.

Jack said, "Now, normally we'd give you the grand tour of the house, but you look like you could really use some Z's, so we'll save that for tomorrow. Your room's right up here."

They showed him to his room. The walls were painted white, and there was a window, toybox, a bedside table with a lamp, closet, and a dresser. But what really caught his attention was the bed.

He didn't move, as if waiting for permission.

"Go ahead, get in bed. Bounce around, start a pillow fight, whatever you want, it's all yours," said Jack.

Tentatively, he got in the bed and under the blanket. He still looked very nervous, but his rigid shoulders relaxed a little.

Holly went to tuck him in, like she had done for their other foster children in the past. But when she touched him, he flinched and covered his face with his hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Holly backed off. It was all she could do in a situation like this.

They both waited in the doorway to see what he would do. After a few seconds, he uncovered his face.

"Well, I guess we'll see you in the morning, all right? Goodnight, sport," said Jack.

"Sweet dreams, dear," said Holly.

Just before they shut the door, they heard him say, in above barely above a whisper, "Mike."

"What was that?" asked Jack.

"My name. It's Mike." He still wouldn't look at them, but this was progress.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mike. Sleep well, okay?"

They shut the door. The bed was marvelous, especially after two days of walking. It was like sleeping on a bed of clouds. The blanket was warm, and he had been so cold before. He was still frightened, but in this bed he could almost forget it.

He reflected on all the questions the police officers had asked him. Why couldn't he remember anything? Had something happened to him to cause this? Where did he come from, where was his home? Did he have a family out there somewhere, looking for him?

"Who am I?" he quietly asked himself.

Mike silently wondered about these people. They had taken him in, even though he was a complete stranger to them. He wondered how long they would let him stay, and where he would go next after he had to leave. They seemed nice, and though he didn't trust them yet, he wanted to.

As they were on their way to their own room, Holly said, "He's very handsome, even with all that dirt on him."

"And smart, too. He finished that rubix's cube in no time flat, I can barely make out the instructions to Monopoly."

"He seems sweet. Timid and scared, but sweet."

"And normal, did you see that? Nothing weird happened, nothing wrong with him. No offence to Zita, but I think she was making a mountain out of a molehill. Just about everyone in the higher-ups does. Mike's just fine."

"I can't imagine what he must have gone through to have ended up here like this. The shape he's in, that doesn't just happen, someone caused it."

"Maybe he'll tell us and we can help him. I hope he can come to trust us and open up."

"I like him."

"Me too."

"It's too bad we'll have to give him up in a few days."

"Well, it could always take longer than that. A few weeks, maybe."

"Just until they find him a good home."

They were both silent after that, pondering.

* * *

The next morning, Mike slept in very late. Jack left for work, and Holly didn't try to wake him up, he'd looked so tired the night before.

She called in at work and let them know she wouldn't be coming in today. She then called the library downtown, she had a friend who worked there.

"Hey Carla, it's Holly."

"Hey Holly! I'm glad you're back, did you have fun on your trip? I can't talk long, in case someone calls wanting to check out a book."

"That's actually why I'm calling, I need to check out a book."

"Oh, and here I thought you wanted to chat."

"Later, when you're not at work."

"You'll have to make this up to me, you know. So, what are you looking for? Mystery? Fantasy? Romance?"

"Mental disorders."

"…Um, that's not what you usually check out."

"I know, but I'm… trying something new. I watched a movie last night with a character who had Multiple Personality Disorder, and I just wanted to see if their portrayal of the disorder was accurate."

"Since when are you interested in this stuff? Don't you think crazy people are weird?"

"Just because a person has a mental disorder, that doesn't automatically make them crazy. Now, do you have a book on MPD?"

"Let me look, I'll put you on hold."

A minute or two later, Carla came back on the line. "We've got one, but it's pretty long, and it doesn't really look like a fun read. Are you sure about this? Wouldn't you rather have a romance novel?"

"No thanks. Could you bring the book here? Are you very busy?"

"Well, I guess I can, but why? Can't you come pick it up?"

"Jack and I have a boy staying with us, he's sleeping now, and I don't want him to wake up to an empty house."

"Oh, how sweet. Is he from another one of those abusive homes? Oh, that's so sad."

"We suspect he is, but we don't know for sure. He hasn't told us where he came from."

"Do you think he's 'the one?'"

"We don't know yet, we only took him in last night. We don't want to make any hasty decisions."

"You two need to stop being so picky and just pick one already. If you keep waiting you'll be in a retirement home before you have a kid."

"We just want to make sure whichever kid we choose will be the right fit. None of us will be happy if we choose the wrong one. Maybe after we pick the first one, adopting more down the line will be easier. We'd like to adopt at least five, we both want a big family."

"You know, the rest of us don't get to pick, we just make one and hope it turns out right. At least you two get some kind of say in the matter. But if you keep turning the stork away, he might stop coming."

"You're worse than my own mom was, she was afraid she would never have grandkids. It's too bad she'll never get to meet them when they do come."

"Whether you decide to keep the cutie or not, I want to meet him. But can't this book wait until later?"

"I'd like to read it as soon as possible."

"Why is it so important?"

"Please Carla, just bring it to me? I'm just really interested, okay?"

"All right, all right. Let me know if it's any good, but it'll probably be a snore-fest."

Carla hung up and brought her the book ten minutes later. She thought it was weird that Holly suddenly had an interest in psychology, but didn't say anything.

Holly sat down on the couch with her book and coffee and started reading. She normally wasn't interested in books like this, but if Mike really did have MPD, she needed to understand it. She hoped he didn't, and that this book was just a waste of time.

The book was a few hundred pages long, but Holly was a fast reader, and she had the book finished by the time Mike woke up that afternoon. He came down the steps rubbing his bleary eyes. He still had those deep, dark shadows under his eyes, it was clear he needed a lot more sleep. Holly quickly shut the book when she heard him.

"Good morning, Mike!" Holly greeted him. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," he said with a yawn. "Can I have breakfast, please?"

"I'm afraid you missed breakfast, but how about we just switch breakfast and lunch today. What would you like to eat?"

"I don't know, anything," he shrugged.

"How about French toast sticks? Does that sound good?"

"I've never had that before."

"Well then, you're in for a treat."

Holly made his breakfast while he sat at the table, looking down at his hands. She had learned a lot about MPD from the book, but the thing that stuck out the most was the number one cause: extreme childhood trauma. Judging by his behavior, this was very likely. But that didn't mean he had MPD. She had yet to see any evidence for herself, and Jack could be right. Many children had overactive imaginations, and they gave up their imaginary friends over time. But just in case, she would have Jack read the book, too.

"How old are you, Mike?" she asked.

"Eight."

Holly took another look at him. There was no way he was eight, but if he said so… "You're pretty tall for an eight year old."

He just shrugged again.

"Where do you come from, Mike? What were you doing wandering down that road?"

"I don't know," he replied, looking very worried. "All I remember is that family finding me, I barely remember that road at all. I don't know where I came from, or who my parents are, or even my last name. Why is that?"

"It certainly raises a lot of questions. I wouldn't worry about it though, maybe you'll remember later. You've been through a lot, it's normal to not remember things after you've been through an ordeal."

She gave him his breakfast. At first he was hesitant about eating it, but after the first bite, he dug in and scarfed it down.

"You like that, huh?" she said with a smile.

"It was very good."

"You could use a bath, you'll feel better once you've washed all that dirt off. And I think we have some clothes upstairs that you can change into. We keep them on hand for our foster kids. Let's go look."

Mike followed Holly upstairs into his room. She noticed that he had made the bed without having to be told, which impressed her. She went through the dresser drawers and pulled out jeans and a blue t-shirt.

"Go take your bath and then put these on."

"Thank you," he said sincerely, meeting her eyes for the first time. He couldn't believe her kindness and generosity, she really wanted to help him. All she had done was let him stay with her and her husband, feed him, let him get clean and give him fresh clothes, but after everything he had been through, it meant more to him than words could say.

"My pleasure."

She showed him the bathroom and where the soap was, and then left him alone to bathe in privacy. Downstairs, Holly heard a racket coming through the floorboards. She assumed Mike was one of those people who liked to sing in the shower. She did, too.

A half hour later, Mike came down the stairs. His hair was still wet, but it wasn't in his face anymore and so she could see both eyes. The dark circles under them were more pronounced than they had been under the dirt. She could also better see his face, and how gaunt it looked. The clothes she had given him were too short and baggy on him.

"Maybe we should go shopping, get some clothes that will fit you."

He shook his head. "I don't want to go out there yet."

"Okay, we won't. We'll stay here for now." She noted that his hair was all over the place and was in desperate need of a haircut, but scissors around his head would probably scare him. She would wait until he was more comfortable around her.

"Where's Jack?" asked Mike.

"He had to go to work, but he'll be back later. For now, how about we do something fun?"

"Like what?"

"Well, we have a pretty impressive movie collection. Have you ever seen Total Warriors?"

He shook his head no.

"It's an action flick, one of my favorites. Nothing scary, just fun and explosions. Come on, I'll make some popcorn and we'll have a movie day."

Holly made popcorn and put on the movie. While she was waiting on the popcorn to pop, she looked out the window and saw the stray cat that wandered through the neighborhood. It was a calico cat, and it came by their house every now and again. She went outside and brought her in.

"Hey Mike, would you like to meet Zelda?" she asked.

Mike turned to look. His face lit up when he saw the cat. "You have a pet cat?"

"She's not ours, she just comes by to visit every so often. Everyone in the neighborhood calls her something different because she kind of belongs to everyone, but Jack and I call her Zelda because when she meows it sounds like she's saying Zelda."

"Can I hold her?"

"Sure you can. Now, she can be timid at first and she's not the most trusting cat, but once she gets to know you she doesn't put up too much fuss."

She handed her to Mike and he gently held her in his arms. The cat struggled against him at first, but then relaxed and started to purr as he stroked her fur.

"I've never seen her trust someone so quickly before. She must sense that you're a sweetheart and won't do her any harm."

Mike smiled and sat down with the cat on the couch. He cuddled her as Holly got the popcorn. She sat by him on the couch, but made sure not to touch him.

Mike curled himself up in a ball on the couch, but as the movie progressed he became more and more relaxed, mostly due to Zelda. He even smiled at some parts of the movie, but Holly pretended not to notice. After the movie ended, she let him pick the next one. He chose another action movie and loved it. They kept watching movies and taking turns choosing until Jack came home.

"Honey, your prince has returned!" he announced when he came in.

"More like court jester," Holly whispered to Mike, making him smile.

"What have you been doing today?" he asked. "How've you been, Mike?"

Mike was too shy to say anything, so Holly answered for him. "We've been having a movie marathon. We had a blast, didn't we, Mike?"

He nodded.

"That's great, sport. Hey, want to help me fix dinner? We're having spaghetti and garlic bread, and I could use some help in the kitchen."

"Okay," said Mike. He set Zelda down on the couch and followed Jack to the kitchen. The kitchen was painted red and was always fully equipped to make any meal.

Jack cooked the meat and boiled the noodles, and he let Mike mix in the sauce and seasonings. He also let Mike prepare the garlic bread and set the table.

As they were waiting for the spaghetti to cook, Zelda started scratching at the door.

"Looks like Zelda has decided to move on," said Jack.

"Why doesn't she want to stay? Can't we keep her?" asked Mike.

"Zelda's a free spirit who won't settle down for anyone. She's always on the move. I'd love to keep her, but she wouldn't ever be happy cooped up with just one family."

"I wish she would stay," said Mike quietly.

"Don't worry, she'll be back. And in the meantime, you can look forward to seeing her again."

Mike opened the door and let her out. "I hope she comes back soon."

Once the food was ready, they all sat down at the table. He was about to dig in when Jack stopped him.

"Hold your horses there, tiger. We need to say grace first." They closed their eyes and Jack said, "Dear God, thank you for this food, and thank you for bringing Mike into our lives. It's an honor to have him in our home. Please guide him and help him find a good, loving home. Amen."

They started eating. Mike didn't eat as ravenously as he had before, but he still ate quickly.

"You're going to get a stomachache if you keep eating so fast," said Holly with a smile.

"Everything tastes so good." He couldn't remember ever having food like this.

"Finally, someone who appreciates my cooking," said Jack.

"I appreciate your cooking, why do you think I married you? With you around, I don't have to cook," said Holly.

"Some people marry for love, others for money, my wife married me for my cooking. So romantic."

Mike smiled at their banter. He finished his plate and took it to the sink.

After all the dishes were in the sink, Holly started washing them. Mike came over and asked, "Can I help?"

"I'm fine, dear. There aren't that many dishes, you run along and play."

"But I want to help."

This was different. While all their previous foster children had been good kids, none of them had ever volunteered for chores.

"Well, if you really want to, you can dry."

Together, they got the dishes done in no time. When they went back into the living room, they found Jack flipping through channels on the TV.

"Hey Jack, can I talk to you for a minute?" asked Holly.

"Sure. Sport, you can pick whatever you like on TV," said Jack. He handed him the remote, and he followed Holly back into the kitchen.

"What's this about, Hol?" he asked.

"I got a book from the library today about MPD, and it's very interesting. I think you should read it."

"Holly, what did I tell you before? There is no such thing as Multiple Personality Disorder, Zita was overreacting. Besides, what has Mike done since he's been here to even suggest there's something wrong with him? Sure he's shy, but so are most kids in his situation."

"But just in case-"

"Holly, I'm not wasting my time on a psychology book. Mike is fine, end of story."

They went back into the living room and found Mike sitting on the couch hugging his knees to his chest, channel surfing.

"I don't know what to put on, you pick," he said as he handed the remote back to Jack.

They all sat down on the couch. There really wasn't anything good on, so Jack put on a recording of the Olympics.

"I don't know how people do it," said Jack as they watched the triathlon. "I could barely run one lap around the gym in high school."

The triathlon ended, and the next event started: gymnastics. The second the first competitor started, Mike gasped and leapt off the couch.

"Mike, what is it, sweetie?"

"I am not Mike, I am Svetlana, Olympic gold medalist!" he said in a voice that was higher than his normal one.

"Um, Mike, what are you doing?" asked Jack as he did a flip off the coffee table and onto a chair. He held onto the chair by his hands and raised his legs up in the air.

"Showing up ze competitors on ze silly television! Zey have no class, no poise, no skill! Zis body has not been properly exercised in long time, but Svetlana vill soon fix zat! She is ze champion!"

Mike did flips all the way up and down the stairs, while Jack and Holly watched in confusion and bewilderment. He leapt off of every piece of furniture and cheered himself on in Russian.

"Still think Zita was overreacting?" Holly hissed.

"Where's that book you were talking about?"

Holly gave him the book and he rushed with it up the stairs. She followed as Mike, or Svetlana, they didn't know for sure, did a split. Holly checked downstairs every few minutes until Mike stopped flipping around. Over an hour passed before he became himself again.

"Jack, Holly? Where are you?" he asked, breathing heavily from all the exertion.

"Up here, sweetie," said Holly as she descended the stairs.

"Why did you leave? Weren't we going to watch the Olympics together?"

Holly realized that he had no memory of what had just happened. Rather than try to explain what had happened, she said, "Jack got a headache, and I was getting him medicine. How about we just go to bed for the night, okay?"

"Okay," said Mike, a little crestfallen.

She told him goodnight and went back to her room, where Jack was totally engulfed in the book.

"I'm going to make some calls, see if I can find anyone who specializes in child psychology. And I think he needs to see a regular doctor as well, to make sure he's healthy."

"Mm-hmm," said Jack as he turned a page.

"You know, you don't have to read the entire book tonight, you can finish it tomorrow."

"Uh-huh."

"I'd like to go to sleep, if that's okay with you. It's hard to sleep with a light shining in your face."

"Whatever you say, dear."

"I've decided to leave you for that hot weatherman on channel seven, the one with the blonde hair and beefy muscles. You know the one, he's got a voice like melted chocolate. We're going to be very happy together."

"That's nice."

Holly groaned and hit him with her pillow. He still didn't react, so she took the pillow and the blanket and went downstairs. Jack wasn't paying her any attention, he was too absorbed in that book. She'd never get to sleep in there tonight. But at least he was actually reading it. He wasn't much of a reader, and so this was almost surreal.

She went to sleep on the couch, wondering what was in store for Mike with a condition like this.


	10. Diagnosis

The next day, Mike slept past noon again.

"What time is it?" he asked Holly as he entered the living room where she was reading one of her romance novels. He stretched his arms above his head and yawned.

"Two o'clock."

"I'm sorry that I keep oversleeping."

"You look like you could use the extra sleep."

"But I lose half the day when I sleep this long. I'm going to try to wake up before noon tomorrow."

"I'll get you something to eat, and then would you like to go to the mall for some new clothes? We don't have to if you don't want to, but you'd be more comfortable in clothes that fit you."

Mike thought about it while she made him some scrambled eggs and toast.

"I guess we can go shopping," he said as she gave him his plate.

"All right then, while you eat I'm going to run over to a neighbor's house to borrow some shoes since you don't have any. I'll be right back."

After Mike finished eating and Holly got him some shoes, they drove to the mall. On the way there, they passed an old Victorian era style house.

"That's mine and Jack's dream house," she said as they passed it. "It's just like the one my grandmother had, I used to spend my summers there. It was my favorite place in the world. This one is a big fixer-upper, but it would be so beautiful once it's restored to its former glory. We've been saving up for it for years, someday we'll call it home."

"I'd love to live in a house like that," said Mike.

They went to the shoe store first, since the shoes they had borrowed were too small.

"How about these?" she said as she showed him a pair of red sneakers.

"I like them," he said. But then he put a hand to his head, like he had a headache. "I can't get those, Manitoba wants boots."

"Who's Manitoba?"

"One of my imaginary friends."

"We might get boots another day, but I was thinking we should get you something more comfortable, shoes for playing in."

She showed him several more pairs, but he turned them all down, because his imaginary friends didn't like them. They all wanted different types, styles, and colors. Finally, they settled on a pair of plain gray sneakers, and Holly let out a sigh of relief.

After they bought the shoes and left the store, they sat down on a bench so Mike could put the new shoes on.

"You know Mike, you don't have to do everything your imaginary friends tell you to do." She noticed that one of them was Svetlana, the personality who had appeared the night before. "I could tell you didn't really want these shoes. You should have ignored them and chosen for yourself."

"I don't want them to get upset or mad at me. They're my friends, I just want us to all get along. And these shoes aren't so bad, at least they aren't ballet shoes, or shoes with arch support."

"Well, when we go to the clothes store, you're picking whatever you want, okay?"

He didn't look convinced, but he nodded in agreement.

They went to the clothing store next. Holly paid attention to Mike as he looked through the different racks of clothes. If he showed interest in a shirt, but then chose another one that a little boy wouldn't normally pick, she would take the first shirt and put the other one back. Once both their arms were laden with t-shirts and jeans, Mike went to the fitting room.

"Try on the clothes and pick only the ones you love. I'll be looking around at the dresses until you finish, but I'll be close by, okay?"

"Okay."

Holly waited patiently for him to try on all the clothes. They had picked out a lot, so she knew he would be a while, but after fifteen minutes passed, she began to feel concerned.

She went back to the men's fitting room and called in, "Mike? Everything okay in there?"

No answer.

She went inside and passed another man going in.

"Hey, this is the men's fitting room, the women's is right next to this one."

"I'm just checking on my… on the boy I'm looking after."

She went by each stall, until she came to one with all the clothes they had picked out. Mike wasn't in there.

"Why would he have left?" she murmured to herself.

She left the fitting room and looked around the store for him, going in circles. With each passing second, she grew more and more worried. What if someone had taken him? What if he had run away?

"I'm looking for my son, he's this tall, has dark skin, about eight or ten years old. His name is Mike, have you seen him?" she asked a cashier, trying not to sound frantic.

Just as the cashier was about to send a message over the intercom for Mike, something caught the corner of her eye. She stopped her and went over to another boy, one she had passed before but now that she got a closer look, looked very familiar.

This boy had no shirt on, even though shirts were required to gain entrance to the store. His hair was slicked back, and he held himself with confidence. It was no wonder she hadn't recognized him at first, but this boy was Mike, no doubt about it. He was flirting with another cashier with a tiny waist, big bust, and a dark tan.

"Ayo babe, when you get off work? I'll take you on the ride of your life."

The cashier giggled. "You're a cute kid."

"Kid? Baby, I ain't no kid. I-"

"Mike! There you are, I was so worried."

She reached out to take his hand to get him out of here, but he snatched it away. "Hey pasty, I know you want some of the Vito, but you're not my type, know what I'm sayin'?"

"V-Vito? No, honey, it's me, Holly. Don't you recognize me?"

"I ain't your honey, you got me confused with someone else."

"Is he your kid?" asked the cashier.

"Sort of."

"Well, I guess you missed the sign on the door, but no shirt, no shoes, no service."

"Does this hot bod not make up for my lack of attire?"

"You don't got much of a bod, kid."

"Ayo, I'm workin' on it! You wait and see, pretty soon I'll have abs and everything."

"Mike, or Vito, whoever you are, we need to leave right now," said Holly, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment.

"I haven't even got her number yet!"

Just then, the manager approached them.

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you and your son to leave."

"Hey, she ain't my mom!"

"Come on Vito, now!" said Holly through her teeth. She grabbed his hand and started pulling him out, but he snatched his hand out of hers and shoved her into the manager.

"You ain't the boss of me! No one tells me what to do!"

"I'm so sorry," she said to the manager, who was now furious.

She couldn't force Vito to come with her, so the manager called security and they were both escorted out with everyone staring at them. Vito yelled back to the cashier, "Call me!"

The guards deposited them outside and one said, "Learn to control your kid."

Holly tried to take Vito's hand again, but he shoved her away again and tried to go back into the mall. She was fed up with this, and she grabbed him around the chest and carried him to the car. Vito cussed at her and put up a fight, but she managed to force him into the car and she drove home as fast as she could, hoping Mike would come back on the way, but he didn't.

"You are outta control, lady!" said Vito once they got back home.

"Don't make me have to do that again, because I will!" said Holly angrily.

"I'm gonna go outside and work out, do not disturb."

Holly went inside and called Jack at work.

"Hey Hol. I can't talk long, I'm already sluggish from last night's reading frenzy, coffee is all that's keeping me alive today."

"Jack, I don't know if I can do this."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, look after Mike."

"Uh oh. What happened?"

"We were at the mall and everything was going well, but then Mike went to try on some new clothes and a new personality named Vito came out. I don't know how it happened, Mike went in and Vito came out. He refused to wear a shirt and he wouldn't stop hitting on one of the cashiers. The manager came and had us escorted out by security. I mean, I was already trying to get out of there, but I've never been kicked out of a store before! And then I had to carry him to the car and force him in, I feel terrible for having to do that to Mike, even if it wasn't technically him at the time. I have never been so humiliated in all my life. And to top it all off, I don't know how to get Mike back, so I'm stuck with Vito until he gets tired or something."

"I'm sorry Holly, I do not envy you there."

"First it was Svetlana, now Vito. How many more does he have in there?" she asked as she pulled at her hair in frustration. "Are they all as bad as Vito? And are they going to pop out every day? I have no idea what I'm doing here, the worst I'm used to from kids is when they won't do their chores, I'm way out of my league here! Neither of us have any experience with mental disorders, that book only talked about what MPD is, it didn't give any instructions on how to help someone who has it. I don't know how to help Mike deal with this, we've only had him for two days and I'm already failing. I'm just not cut out for caring for children with disabilities like this."

"You're not failing, this is only the second day. No one expects you to be an expert, you're doing your best. It won't be much longer, and then Zita will find him a permanent home. Next time, we'll try to get a child that's less… interesting."

"Okay, okay," said Holly, feeling a little better. "Come home as soon as you can."

"Sure thing."

Jack came home a few hours later, and Vito was still the one in control. Jack did a double-take when he saw him.

"You weren't kidding."

Jack went outside to try to talk to Vito. Vito was doing push-ups on the lawn.

"So, um, you're Vito, correct?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out."

"Well, it's a… pleasure to meet you."

"I'm sure it is."

"I'd like to talk to Mike, if you wouldn't mind."

"I do mind."

"I need to talk to him anyway."

"Anything you want to say to him you can say to me. I might pass the memo along to him."

"I'd prefer talking to him directly."

"He's not home right now."

"Will you be letting him back out anytime tonight?"

"Maybe after I finish my workout."

Jack left it that. He had no idea of how to bring Mike back, and so all he could do was hope that he would let him back sometime soon.

"Are you sure you don't know what brought Vito out?" he asked Holly when he went back inside. "I mean, it looks like Svetlana was triggered by the Olympics, Vito must have a trigger to."

"That's what I was thinking. I don't know what triggered him, but if we can figure it out, maybe we can keep him and the others in. No more Olympics."

They watched as Vito used a large rock in the backyard to bench-press with. He did several reps, and then finally let Mike have control again. He looked disoriented at first, and then he came back inside.

"How'd we get back here? We were at the mall, I was going to try on clothes… Did I fall asleep or something? Ow, why are my muscles so sore?"

"Yes, you fell asleep," said Holly as she plastered a smile onto her face. "I'll go out tomorrow and pick up your clothes."

That night, neither Jack nor Holly felt like cooking, so they ordered in a pizza. They didn't do much talking over dinner, and Mike wondered why. He didn't ask, though. He wondered how he could just fall asleep in a store. He wasn't nearly as tired as he had been before, it didn't make any sense. He had spoiled his day out with Holly, and that irked him.

After dinner they put on a movie, but Jack and Holly weren't really paying attention. Mike noticed the tension but had no idea what to do about it. He was sitting with his arms around his knees. Holly noticed how he normally sat that way, and if he wasn't in a ball, standing or sitting he usually had his arms around his chest and he curled in on himself, guarding himself. Despite her unease about Vito and his overall condition, she still hoped he would feel safe enough eventually to not have to hold himself that way.

Mike was still sleep deprived from Mal's insomnia, and Vito's workout had only exhausted him more, so he accidentally fell asleep in a ball on the couch halfway through the movie. It was an uncomfortable position to sleep in, so Jack gently picked him up and carried him to his room.

After the movie ended, as they were lying in bed, Jack said, "I really feel sorry for him, you know? I mean, I don't think he knows what's going on."

"It must be so confusing to start in one place and wake up somewhere else, with no memory of the in-between. What must that be like?"

"I can't even imagine. How are we going to tell him? If someone told me I had a disorder like that, I don't know what I would do. I don't want to hurt him, but he's going to have to find out sooner or later. He's so young and so nice, what kind of people could do this to a child? It makes me angry just thinking about it. Mike deserves better."

"I referred to him as my son today in the mall by accident when I was looking for him. I don't know how I feel about that."

"Holly, we can't take care of a boy like him permanently. You've had to miss work this week to take care of him, and if those personalities of his keep popping out, he'll need a lot of supervision. We can't give him what he needs."

"I know, I just hope that whoever he ends up with, they'll take care of him. I just want him to be okay."

* * *

A while after Jack tucked him in bed, Mike woke up and wondered how he had ended up there. That wasn't big on his list of concerns, though. He had bigger problems.

Why were Jack and Holly acting so strangely? The first day they really seemed to like him, but now they didn't seem to want to be around him anymore. They weren't making him leave, but it felt like they were only tolerating him.

"Did I do something wrong?" he quietly wondered aloud. He couldn't think of anything, but he knew he must have done something to upset them. Maybe this was their way of telling him they didn't want him. Where would he go if he couldn't live here? He had heard of kids being passed around like a hot potato in the foster system, until they got too old and had to go out on their own. Was that to be his fate? He just wanted a family, he didn't want to be alone anymore.

He heard the others arguing in his head about something, and he took a little comfort in knowing that at least he had his imaginary friends with him. They would never leave, so he would never be completely alone. Still though, he wanted more than imaginary friends. He wanted real people to love him, people he hadn't made up. He hoped he could change their minds and win them over, he really liked them. He hoped they would let him stay.

* * *

Three days later, Mike and Holly were in the waiting room at a pediatrician's office. The doctor asked Mike a series of questions and ran a battery of tests, including an x-ray at Holly's request. She hoped this would answer some of her questions. He was very nervous about the whole thing, but she assured him he had nothing to be afraid of.

Afterwards, the doctor spoke to them both.

"Mike, you say you're eight years old, but all these tests show that you are no younger than ten."

"How can that be? I know how old I am, I'm eight."

"Have you ever been in any accidents?"

"I don't think so."

"There are multiple scars on your bones from old breakages. Did your parents hurt you, son?"

"I don't know. I don't know who my parents are, or where they are. Why don't I know who they are? Why don't I know anything?"

Mike was beginning to panic, and Holly took his hand and squeezed it. She had expected him to flinch or pull away, but he relaxed a little and squeezed her hand back.

"It's all right, Mike," said Holly. "We're going to get through this, okay?"

He took a deep breath. "Okay."

The doctor concluded that overall Mike was healthy, though a bit malnourished. He prescribed vitamins, and gave him a few shots. Mike really didn't like this part, but Holly let him squeeze her hand to distract him from it. She could tell he was more upset over the fact that he couldn't remember anything beyond his first name than he was about the shots, but she didn't know how to help him. She felt so sorry for him, not only did he have this disorder and not only did he have amnesia, but he had had two years of his life stolen, two years he could never get back.

That Thursday, Holly was going to take Mike to see a child psychiatrist. Before they went, Mike asked Holly if she could give him a haircut.

"It's in my eyes, I can barely see. I could put it in a ponytail if I wanted."

"You've come to the right place, it's my job to cut hair."

She sat him down in front of a mirror and asked, "How much do you want off?"

"I'm not sure, just start cutting and I'll tell you when to stop."

She started snipping away and dark brown locks fell around her feet. She cut until his hair no longer fell around his face, and he stopped her. She took a brush and tried to smooth his hair down, but there was no controlling it. It stood up in spikes.

"Well, your hair is impossible, but I like it. Not many people can pull off a look like this, but I think it suits you."

"You really think so?"

"You're very handsome," she said, and kissed him on the cheek. Mike looked at himself in the mirror; with his new t-shirt and jeans, and his new haircut, he didn't look bad at all.

After his haircut, they left to go see the doctor. She was lucky to have gotten an appointment so soon. When they called him back, Mike looked to Holly pleadingly.

"You're coming in with me, right?"

"This is supposed to be just between you and the doctor."

"You came in with me at the last one, why not this one?"

The doctor came out to meet them. She wore a light gray skirt with a white blouse, and she had half-moon glasses on her nose. She had olive skin and inky black hair pulled back in a bun. She smiled when she saw him.

"Hello there, are you Mike?"

He nodded reluctantly and tried to hide behind Holly.

"If you wouldn't mind Mrs. Skinner, you are allowed to come in. I'd prefer if you not say anything while we talk, but you can come in to provide support until Mike is ready to come in on his own."

"Thank you," said Holly. Mike let out a sigh of relief and followed the doctor into her office. There was a couch and an armchair, and there were some potted plants here and there. The floor was hardwood, and the walls were painted light blue. There was a painting of a waterfall at night in the center, and it all made for a relaxing setting.

"Mike, my name is Dr. Aria Lace," said the doctor after they had taken their seats. The doctor took the armchair, and Mike and Holly sat on the couch. Mike didn't curl up in a ball, but he hugged his arms around his stomach.

Holly had seen reviews of her from other people online, and they all said she was very good at her job. They also said she was patient and kind, which was what she was really looking for.

"If you don't mind, Mike, I'll be recording our session so I can study it more later."

"I went to a doctor a few days ago, he said I'm healthy. He already did a lot of tests, I don't know what more you could do."

"I'm not that kind of doctor. I'm here to talk to you about your imaginary friends."

This was odd, why would she want to know about them? "What do you want to know about them?"

"How long have you had them?"

"I don't really remember anything before they found me on that road, but I know I had them before then, I just don't know how long."

"How many do you have? Most children just have one."

"Four. Wait, five. No, four, definitely four."

"Do they have names?"

"Chester, Svetlana, Vito, and Manitoba Smith." It occurred to him that maybe it was his imaginary friend's fault that Jack and Holly were acting so strangely. He was kind of old to be playing pretend, this doctor would probably tell him he needed to give up his made-up friends. He wouldn't argue, it was about time he grew up. He would miss them, but if it made Jack and Holly like him more and want to keep him, then it would be worth it.

"Do they ever talk to you?"

Mike looked down, ashamed to answer. Holly took his hand and gave it a squeeze, and he got the courage to speak.

"Yes, they do. A lot. But I don't mind, it's nice to have someone to talk to."

"Do they ever make you do things?"

"They want me to do stuff, but I just ignore it, usually. I mean, some things I'll do to make them happy, but I'm not about to go join a ballerina class, or try to get a girl's number."

"Do you ever feel like you're not yourself, or do you ever wake up somewhere and not remember how you got there?"

"Sometimes. I just have a bad memory, that's all." He wondered why she was asking all these questions, but he wasn't worried. He knew what she would say and he would do it.

"I see. Mrs. Skinner, from the information you gave me on the phone, and after talking to Mike, I do believe he has Dissociative Identity Disorder, or Multiple Personality Disorder, as it is more often called."

"What does that mean?" asked Mike. That wasn't what he had expected at all. "Is that a disease? Am I sick? Is there something wrong with me?"

"No Mike, you're not sick," said Dr. Lace. "It just means that you have several identities that you talk to or switch between. It happens when a child is put under too much stress and trauma and, in order to cope, the brain creates new identities to take on the stress until the child is ready to cope with it. However, the identities usually outlive the stress, and don't go away even after they are no longer needed. It's quite rare, but you're not alone."

"What does that mean, exactly?" said Mike, growing more and more worried. He started squeezing Holly's hand without realizing he was doing it.

"Mike, sometimes these other identities, or personalities, will take control of your body away from you, and you will lose most or all awareness. When you regain control, you have no memory of what has happened, and you don't know how much time has passed. I believe this is why you don't remember where you came from, and why you think you're eight when you're actually ten. Your personalities must have had most of the control for the last two years. Many people with this disorder don't remember having abusive childhoods, but I've never heard of someone losing all memory of their past because of it. This is very intriguing, and I'll try to help you access those memories in our sessions together. But Mike, do not think this makes you insane. You are not."

"I read that there's no cure for it," said Holly. "Is that true?"

"We can treat it with therapy and with medication to help him deal with any anxiety or depression brought on by it, but no, there is no cure. One day he may be able to integrate and unify his personalities into one, but there's no guarantee of that. The best we can do is help him manage it and lead a semi-normal life, but it won't be easy. He will need to see me at least once every two weeks, although once a week would be ideal."

"No!" Mike shouted suddenly, startling them both. He stood up and said, "I do not have a mental disorder! They're just imaginary friends, I'll get rid of them, I'll make them go away, I promise! There's nothing wrong with me, I'm fine!"

"Calm down, Mike," said Holly, but he wasn't listening.

"I know it's hard to accept, but we're going to help you."

"I don't need help! A lot of kids have imaginary friends, and they're fine! I'm fine too! Holly, don't you believe me?"

Holly hated herself for this, but the sooner he accepted the truth, the sooner he could begin to accept it. "Mike, the night we had spaghetti, when we turned on the Olympics, Svetlana came out and started doing gymnastics in the living room. After she was done, you came back, but you didn't remember any of what had happened."

"No," he whispered as his face filled with despair.

Tears pricked her eyes. Seeing his anguish hurt her more than she thought it would. "And the reason we had to leave the mall early was because Vito took over. He was causing a commotion and we had to get out of there. We didn't know how to bring you back, and so he was in control for several hours."

"That's impossible."

"Sweetheart, I wish it wasn't true, and I wish more than anything I could take this from you, but I can't. You have to accept it, you have MPD."

"No, no I won't listen!" Mike yelled, becoming more and more agitated. "They're imaginary, they're not real! They're not real!"

Mike blinked, it only seemed to last a second. When he closed his eyes he was standing in front of the couch, and when he opened them he was sitting in a corner of the room, curled up in the fetal position.

"How did I get over here?" he asked.

"Mike, repeat to me the last thing you said," said Dr. Lace. She was crouched down by his side with a hand on his shoulder, while Holly was standing several feet away and facing the other direction. His first thought was that he must have done something to make her angry. She turned to look at him when she heard him speak. Dr. Lace looked concerned but still professional, Holly looked very worried and upset.

"I said my imaginary friends aren't real."

"That was a half hour ago."

"That can't be right."

"You said a lot of things, would you like to hear the recording of what happened?"

"No," said Holly firmly. "Absolutely not, he shouldn't hear that."

"I want to hear it," said Mike as he stood to his feet. He sat back down in his seat, feeling very apprehensive.

"Mike, it will only frighten and upset you even more."

"Mrs. Skinner, with all due respect, in order for Mike to come to grips with this, he needs to face the truth."

"Play the tape," said Mike, scared but determined.

Dr. Lace started the recording, and Mike listened intently. As Mike listened to the recording, Holly texted Jack, _You need to get home as soon as possible. Mike just found out he has MPD and he's taking it very hard._

"They're not real!" Mike in the recording gasped, and another voice took his place. "Ooh, I've never been here before. I love new places."

"Mike?" said Holly.

"Oh, I'm not Michael, but I'll pretend to be him so you don't feel bad. I like pretending."

"That's very kind of you," said Dr. Lace. "But I wouldn't mind talking to you for a while."

"Really? You want to talk to me?" This voice was very energetic and childlike, it sounded like a five year old.

"Yes, I do. Do you have a name?"

"My mama forgot to give me one, but that's okay. She says I'm a smart little boy, because I already know my alphabet and I can count to ten. She gets me lots of toys because she loves me so much. Have you seen my toy collection? I have race cars and action figures, all kinds of things."

"You're very sweet. You know, I have some toys that you can play with. They're in the toybox behind the couch."

He gasped, and Mike heard running footsteps. He opened the box and squealed in delight.

"You like the teddy bear and the frog, I see. Give them both a big hug."

"I can jump like a frog, you wanna see?"

"I would love to see that, but do you think you could tell me where Mike is?"

"Michael is really scared, he doesn't want to play anymore. He's probably going to play with Vito or Svetlana."

"How does Mike know Vito and Svetlana?"

"They're his friends. He's my friend, too."

"Mrs. Skinner told me that Vito spent a lot of time exercising, and Mike felt sore afterwards. How could he feel it if you're all different people?"

"I take very good care of my toys. I polish them and keep them clean, I don't leave them outside in the rain, and I fix them when they're broken. They all still look new."

"Are you all related somehow? Cousins, maybe?"

"I live in a big white house with pink roses growing around it, that's where I keep my toys."

"Perhaps you're all part of the same person."

"No, that's silly, you're silly!" he laughed.

"It is possible that you're all aspects of one person, all pieces of Mike."

"But how could that be? You see me, I'm just Michael's friend. Look here in the mirror. You can see I have red hair, I'm the only one in my family that does. I don't even look like I'm part of the family, they call me Carrot Top. Michael doesn't have red hair, he has brown hair, so we can't be the same person."

"Is Mike ready to come back out yet?"

He gasped again, and he heard the sound of the toys falling onto the floor. An angry voice shouted, "I hate Michael, I hate him!"

"Why do you hate him?"

"His mommy always hurts him and he makes me get hurt in his place. She keeps me locked away where I can't see anything. It's cold and dark and I'm starving and she doesn't let me out no matter how much I beg!" He started crying and he said, "I can't see, I can't see anything, not even my hands in front of my face."

"Where does she keep you?"

"In the broom closet. It's so dark, I'm scared of the dark."

"I'm going to let you out."

"The door's locked."

"I have the key. Listen." He heard a door open. "I've opened the door, you can some out now. Can you see? Is the dark gone?"

"Yeah, but she's gonna put me back in! I have to get out before she gets me again!"

"Mike sweetie, stay back from the window!" said Holly.

"There she is, Mommy's right there and she's gonna do it again!"

He started banging on the window and Dr. Lace said, "Don't break the window Mike, the broken glass would hurt your hands." He heard her footsteps moving closer to him in the recording. "Mike, what you're afraid of isn't happening anymore, you don't have to be scared here, you don't need to escape. That happened in the past, this is the present. We're in the present, your mother is in the past. She can't hurt you anymore."

"Yes she can, she will if you don't get her away from me!" He was hyperventilating now.

"It's okay Mike, don't be scared," said Holly. He screamed, and Mike couldn't make out what he said after that, he was so hysterical he couldn't speak coherently.

"Mrs. Skinner, I know this is difficult for you, but you mustn't touch him when he's in this state. I need you to turn around so he can't see your face."

"She's gonna do it again! She shot me!"

"She shot you?"

"At the doctor, she let them shoot me."

"Oh, I see. The doctor gave you a shot, didn't he? And you didn't know why it was happening, that must have been very scary. I know that must have hurt a lot, I don't like shots either. But they keep you from getting sick, they keep you healthy. I had a flu shot last year, and you know what happened?"

"What?"

"I didn't get the flu, I didn't get sick."

"What's your name?"

"Dr. Lace."

"You're a doctor? You're going to shoot me!"

"No, I'm not going to shoot you. Doctors don't want to hurt you, they want to help you feel better. But you can call me Miss Aria, instead. Is that better?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Can I be your friend?"

"Yeah."

"I'm so glad we can be friends. And what can I call you?

"She's gonna put me in the dark again," he wailed. "I can't get out, why can't I get out? I'm stuck here and no one will help me, I'm going to be trapped here forever. I'm suffocating, I'm running out of air."

"You see this room we're in? This is a safe room, where nothing can get in and hurt us."

"It's safe?"

"Yes, you're protected here. You can trust me, Mike, as long as you're with me your mother can't hurt you. I'll keep her away."

"You promise?"

"I promise. Now, this woman in here with us is not your mother, and I want you to see her, okay? She won't hurt you, she wants to keep you safe just like I do. Will you look at her?"

"Okay," he said, finally starting to calm down.

"Come here, let's walk away from the window together. Would you like to hold my hand? That's it, as long as you're holding my hand nothing can hurt you. You're being very brave, it makes me happy to see you being so brave. Slowly, one step at a time, there's no rush. Okay, let's stop here. Now Mrs. Skinner, slowly turn around and face us."

A second passed, and then he started screaming, "You promised! You promised you'd keep me safe and she's right there, you brought her back! I want her dead and I want Michael dead!" He started speaking in a slightly higher tone but with a growl, replaying his mother's words like a tape recorder. "Don't tell anyone what your father did, you keep it secret or you'll get in big trouble! You tell them you fell down the stairs again, if they find out what happened you'll have a lot worse than a broken arm. Be glad your father loves us so much, you should be grateful you even have a father! You bad, spoiled boy, do you want to end up like Jake and Lizzie? Keep it up and you will! Bad things happen to bad boys, you make us have to punish you! You're a liar, just like your father! We wouldn't have to punish you if you would just do what you know you're supposed to! Stop talking to yourself all the time, you can't talk to people who aren't there! You bad, bad boy! Don't leave me Mike, we only do it because we love you. We only do it because we love you…"

"Mrs. Skinner, turn back around. I'm so sorry I scared you Mike, I pushed you too far too fast. It's okay to be scared, I get scared too sometimes. We're going to work on it though, okay? I'm going to help you not be afraid anymore."

"You broke your promise."

"I did, and I'm sorry, but I'm still your friend. Look, your mother's gone, it's just you and me now."

"Just us?"

"Yes, just you and me in the safe room."

In real time, Dr. Lace said, "This is when you curled up in the corner."

On the recording he said, "Daddy's coming home, he's coming home and he's going to hurt me too. Why does everything have to hurt so much?"

"Your father's not here, we're in the safe room, remember? He can't get you in here."

He was still crying, and he said, "Michael gets to go to school and play, I always have to stay in the dark where it's scary."

"Mike didn't put you in there, your mother and father did. If they're the ones that hurt you, shouldn't you be mad at them, and not Mike?"

"I hate him so much." He started whimpering. "I can't see anything, it's so dark. I hate the dark…"

Dr. Lace turned off the recording and said, "After that you wouldn't say anymore. You stayed curled up like that for five minutes before coming back. I'm very sorry, Mike."

Mike noticed that his cheeks were wet and his throat scratchy, but he couldn't remember crying or yelling. What he'd heard on that tape was horrifying and unbelievable. "That was really me?"

"Yes, it was."

"That didn't sound like any of my imaginary friends."

"You may have other alternate personalities that you're not yet aware of. You became so agitated that it brought out lesser personalities that aren't as developed. We'll work more on this in therapy, but we've already made a good deal of progress for a first session. Mrs. Skinner, schedule an appointment for no later than two weeks from today. In the meantime, I'll consult with some of my colleagues to see what the best medication would be for him to take."

"Thank you. Come on, Mike."

Mike and Holly left the office, and she scheduled another appointment for the next week. Mike stood by her with his arms wrapped around himself. He wouldn't speak anymore.

Holly was impressed with the way the doctor had handled his personalities, it made her feel more comfortable letting her treat Mike. But she couldn't get over the fact that when that alternate personality looked at her, it thought it was seeing Mike's biological mother. This proved that he was from an abusive home. It hurt her to see him look at her with such terror and contempt. What did that woman do to him that made him like this? It made her furious that that woman would hurt the wonderful son she was blessed with so terribly, while she couldn't have even one child. Why was the world so unfair?

In his head, Mike heard a voice telling him he was crazy. It was Mal, and though he sounded familiar to him, he didn't recognize him. He said, _"I always knew you were loony bird, and I was right. You lost your marbles a long time ago, you just couldn't see it until now. They'll call you Mike the Maniac, and you know what happens to crazy people. Say hello to life as a reject."_ He laughed at him, making Mike cringe.

Mal kept up the verbal assault, making the already bad diagnosis even worse, and making Mike even more upset and angry than he already was. He couldn't accept this. He felt fine, he didn't feel crazy at all. But what did crazy feel like, really? How was he to know? The doctor must have made some mistake, because he felt normal. He couldn't accept what he'd heard on the tape. Even though all the evidence was against him and proved that what the doctor said was true, he rejected it with everything in him. He was angry and hurt that Holly thought he was insane, and now Jack would think so, too. Everyone would think he was crazy because a doctor said so.

When they got home, Jack had left work early and was waiting for them. Mike still wasn't talking, and he had a dark scowl on his face.

"Hey buddy, come sit down on the couch," said Jack gently when they came in the door. Mike wordlessly sat down, and he wouldn't look at either of them.

"How are you holding up?"

"Don't listen to her, I'm not crazy!"

"Mike, no one thinks you're crazy," said Holly. "The doctor even said so herself."

"But I'm not normal, so I might as well be. My life is over!"

Mike stood off the couch and started kicking it repeatedly. They watched as rage filled his face as he kicked it harder and harder. He turned to the mantle, which had snowglobes, picture frames, and the antique vase that had been handed down to them from Jack's grandmother as a wedding gift.

He picked up a snowglobe and threw it at a wall, shattering it. Holly started to get up to stop him, but then stopped herself. These were just material things, things that wouldn't last. She loved them, but Mike was more important. This was an awful fate that had been thrust onto him by the people who had abused and tortured him. He was just a child, and he would spend the rest of his life trying to cope with an incurable condition that had the potential to ruin him. Anyone would be angry in his position, and she found that she wanted to get up there and help him break her things. He needed to take out this anger before they could begin working through this, and if it meant sacrificing her precious things, so be it.

He smashed all her snowglobes and broke the glass in every frame. He then lifted the vase off the mantle and Holly said, "Yes, smash it!"

"Smash it to pieces!" said Jack.

And he did. He threw the vase at the floor and it broke in pieces. Once there was nothing left to destroy, he calmed down, and realized what he had just done.

"I'm sorry!" he said, horrified. "I don't know what I was thinking, I just couldn't stop myself. I was just so angry, I needed to break something. I'll pay you back somehow, I swear. I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie. Jack and I have collected a lot of junk over the years, we've been needing to go through it and get rid of some of it. You've done us a favor."

"Do you feel better now, sport?"

"No, no I don't. But maybe… maybe if I do what the doctor says, go to therapy and take my medicine, it'll go away soon. It will go away, right?"

"No sweetheart. It might go away one day, but the best we can hope for is to make it manageable."

"It's not fair!" cried Mike, and he gasped. He hunched over and said, "Quit your whining, it's not the end of the world! Dang fool kids, always getting worked up over nothing!"

Jack and Holly watched with pity. They weren't sure what exactly had triggered this personality, but his current emotional state must have had something to do with it. Whatever the cause, it was hard to watch, because it meant Mike couldn't even deal with his emotions without another personality taking over.

Mike took back control quickly this time, but he realized what had happened.

"It happened again, didn't it?"

They could only nod yes.

He buried his face in his hands and ran up the stairs to his room and slammed the door shut.

"What are we going to do?" asked Holly as they started picking up the pieces of broken glass. She felt a tear run down her face, she felt so sorry for him.

"I don't know. I just don't know."

* * *

In his room, Mike took his pillow and screamed into it. He had never felt this angry before; he was angry at the doctor for the diagnosis, angry at himself for losing control and breaking things that weren't his, and angry at his alternate personalities for doing this to him.

Screaming into the pillow let out some of the anger and helped him calm down, and he laid down on the bed and curled up, holding himself tight. He felt like crying, but he was still in too much shock to cry.

"_Do not being sad, Mike,"_ said Svetlana from inside his head. _"Living vith us is not so bad. Ve vill help you. Svetlana vill take care of any physical challenge."_

"_And you've got me to take you on adventures!"_

"_And you've got me to help you with the ladies."_

"I don't want any of you, not anymore."

"_But Mike, we're your friends, mate."_

"_Ve are like family!"_

"I'm a freak because of you! Why do you have to take over my body, it's mine!"

"_This is the only body we got, kid!" _said Chester.

"_Yeah, it's not like we got a lot of options here, bro. You don't actually expect us to stay inside forever, do you? We need time to breathe."_

"_And it is not like ve can be leaving. You brought us here, you made us, and so ve must be sharing zis body. Ve are deserving to use it as much as you."_

"You were supposed to just be my imaginary friends, you were never supposed to be real."

"_It's not like we chose this, mate."_

"I'm insane. I can't remember anything and I have other people living inside my head. They're going to put me in a straightjacket in a padded cell, they'll keep me there the rest of my life."

"_Let us hope not, zat place vas terrible."_

"How would you know, Svetlana?" She gave no answer. "I'm not going to let them lock me in the nuthouse, I'm going to keep you inside my head, I'm going to learn to stay in control all the time."

"_Good luck with that, dang punk."_

"_Do you really hate us so much, Mike?"_ asked Svetlana. _"Are ve really so terrible?"_

"Yes."

"_Fine zen, have it your vay. Ve vill be coming out, zis is our body as much as it is yours."_

"_Just try to keep us out, ya dingo. I want to see you try to keep the great Manitoba Smith down."_

Mike didn't talk to them anymore. He felt bad for what he had said, they were still his only friends, but they had made him into a psycho. He wondered if he had ever been normal, or if he had been born with them. The doctor said what he had was caused by trauma, but he couldn't remember anything bad happening to him. Of course, he couldn't remember anything at all, but still. He hoped his new doctor could help him remember, so maybe he could understand why he was this way.

He realized that this was why Jack and Holly had acted weird around him, they had known he was a freak all along but hadn't told him until now. Now they would never want him, no one would. He would never have a family, he would always be alone.

In spite of everything, he was able to sleep. His body was still catching up on rest. But that night was when the nightmares started, nightmares that would haunt him almost every night after.

The others started talking inside his head as he was drifting off.

"_Welp, mystery solved,"_ said Manitoba.

"_I always thought Mike was like an alien or somethin, I guess this makes more sense,"_ shrugged Vito.

"_Ve need to decide how much ve are going to let Mike know. Ve know about vat happened to him before, but I zink ve shouldn't be telling him."_

"_Why not? Then we wouldn't have to listen to him whine about not knowing where he came from,"_ said Chester.

"_It vould hurt him too much, and it vould do him no good, anyvay. He should start over vith a clean slate, he vill be happier zis vay."_

"_He don't seem too happy now. Don't see why, when he's got a great adventurer with him,"_ said Manitoba.

"_But most importantly, ve must make sure zat Mal does not escape, and ve should not be telling Mike about him, either."_

"_Now that's just asking for trouble,"_ said Chester.

"_What if Mal gets loose, shouldn't Mike know so he can be ready? Not that he could do much against Mal, unlike me,"_ asked Vito.

"_Mal is never getting free again, ze chain is too strong, he is powerless as long as it is on him. Ve vill tell Mike if he becomes a threat again, but only zen."_

The others agreed, they didn't care about Mike as much as Svetlana did and so it didn't really matter to them either way. Svetlana left the others to go off by herself for a while. Manitoba and Vito were already back to arguing over who was tougher, and she had no wish to talk to Chester. She went off a ways, not far though, none of them ever wandered off too far.

She started practicing her gymnastics when one of the half-formed alters approached her. She was so startled she actually lost her balance and fell, a first for her. Those things never came this close, and she wondered what it could possibly want.

"_Get avay from me," _she told it sharply. She picked herself up off the ground and held herself with dignity.

"_I need to tell you something."_

She had to do a double take, that was the most intelligent thing she'd ever heard come out of one of these alters. This one was particularly hideous, but its level of intelligence was higher than the others.

"_Vat is it?" _

"_It's about the scary one."_ She noticed how deep this alter's voice was. How lucid it sounded, too.

"_You mean Mal?"_

"_Yes. What do you know about him? How did he start out?"_

"_He started out blank, as a vay to take ze pain from Mike so he vouldn't have to suffer so much, but it made him go rotten."_

"_Not exactly. That's what he wants you to think, because he hates the truth. You know Michael had a brother, Jacob."_

"_Yes, he died."_

"_Mike accidentally brought him back as one of us, and he turned into the one you call Mal."_

"_You are making zat up, or you are being a confused. Zat is not vat happened."_

"_Mal made you forget, but he didn't make me or the others like me forget. He didn't think he would need to, since we're not a threat to him. He used to be nice because he thought he was Michael's brother, but then he found out that he's not, and it hurt him so much that he got twisted into this."_

"_Svetlana does not believe you."_

Before she could stop him or get away, he grabbed her hand and she saw images flash before her eyes, and she saw that what he had told her was the truth. He released her after only one second had passed, but she could see how doing that had drained him.

For a few seconds she couldn't help but pity Mal, what had happened to him wasn't his fault. He had been a lost, scared little boy like Mike, trying to fight an unwinnable battle by protecting him, and was twisted by the life forced upon him. But her sympathy was overtaken by her intense anger and hatred at him for what he had done. His past didn't excuse what he had done to them and to everyone else he had hurt. Still though, it made her feel a little sorry for him.

"_Vat is Svetlana supposed to be doing vith zis information?"_

"_Most of the others like me blame Michael for our pain, they hate him, they want him to die. But I know it wasn't Michael's fault, it was his daddy who hurt us, and now it's Mal, who is worse than his daddy was. They hate Michael and they want him gone, they don't understand that we need him to survive."_

"_Why are you telling Svetlana and not Manitoba or Chester or Vito?"_

"_It was your idea to keep the truth from him before, things might not have ended in disaster if he had known sooner."_

"_How vas I to know zat vould happen? Mal never showed signs of becoming like zis before, I zought I vas doing ze right zing in keeping him from knowing ze truth. But Mike is different, he isn't like Mal. Keeping ze secret from him von't drive him mad like it did Mal._

"_Mike doesn't even know he ever had a brother, telling him vouldn't help him, especially if Mal is locked avay for good. I don't vant to see Mike hurt anymore, he has a chance now to start over vith a clean slate and have a good life, he does not need to know about his old one. Ze burden is no longer his to bear, he has been put through too much already, Svetlana vill protect him by keeping zis secret. If keeping ze truth from him protects him, zen I vill do it. Not to mention, Mal vould probably kill me if he found out zat I know his secret now. Svetlana von't tell ze others either; if Mal escapes he could take our memories again, or he could be killing us. And maybe I could use zis secret against him someday."_

"_If you think that's best, then do it. I thought someone should know."_ The alter turned and started hobbling away, back to where the other alters like him stayed.

"_Vait!"_ she called after it. _"Do you… do you have a name?"_

"_None of us do,"_ it replied without stopping.

Svetlana didn't know what to make of the thing, it unsettled her. She started thinking about Mal again, and what she had just learned. Part of her wanted to believe that Mal was redeemable, that maybe the part of him that had once dedicated itself to helping Mike was still there. But she knew it would be foolish to try, he couldn't be trusted after what he had done. He probably couldn't be redeemed anyway, he liked being this way. He was a lost cause, but Mike wasn't, so she would not forgive Mal for what he had done. She only hoped that she was right, and that the chain would hold forever.

Mal was still wide awake in Mike's mind, as always. He was thinking about what he had learned today. So, Mike had multiple personalities, after all these years the mystery was finally solved. Now he knew the name, and now he finally knew what he was. For years he had believed himself to be Mike's little brother and his guardian angel, when in reality he had never been anything more than just a product of mental illness.

Just the thought of Jake made him furious. He showed no sign of it on the outside, but on the inside he was burning with rage. If Jake hadn't died, Mal never would have existed. Perhaps none of them would have, and Mike never would have developed the disorder in the first place. So it seemed that the years of abuse and neglect hadn't caused all this. They had been laying the foundation for it, but in the end it was the death of his brother that was the catalyst. Mal's entire existence was a coping mechanism, he never had been Mike's little brother, as he had made him believe. Mike had given him all the memories he had of Jake because he was crazy. Mal was nobody, he wasn't even a real person, none of them were. Instead of upsetting him, the realization just made him laugh. Oh, how insane Mike must be to have resurrected his brother in this way, and now he would never be rid of him, not for good, anyway.

But he couldn't stand Jack and Holly. With them, Mike would never have to worry about Jack hitting him or Holly locking him in the dark for hours on end. He would always have enough to eat, he wouldn't want for anything. He wouldn't have to live in fear anymore, he would be safe, he could actually be happy here. Mike didn't deserve such kindness. Mal had taken all of his memories away to protect him, so that maybe he could stop suffering and be normal, but he was still disturbed and broken. Nothing he ever did or could have done amounted to anything, Mike would always be just a pathetic shell of a person, with five other persons living within him.

He couldn't move, couldn't get free. The chains were too strong, and there was no way he could ever convince any of the others to free him. He had begun to resent Mike two years ago, but he hadn't outright hated him then. He wouldn't have tried to fix him if he had. But now he loathed Mike, he wanted him to suffer, he wanted him to die.

If he ever got free of these chains, he would destroy Mike.


	11. Family

Two days later, Mike hadn't left his room, and he wouldn't speak to either of them. Holly brought him meals, but he barely touched them. They didn't try to make him come out, he needed time to be alone. They would go to him as soon as he was ready to talk.

Holly got a call from Zita as she was drinking her morning coffee.

"Mrs. Skinner, we've made arrangements for Mike. We'll be sending someone to collect him in an hour or so."

"This soon? He's been with us for less than two weeks, you found a family already?"

"Not exactly. We're sending him to stay in a facility, St. Francis' hospital for children's mental health. It's the best in the country, Mike will do well there."

"Are you sure? I mean, Jack and I could keep him for a few more days or weeks so you can find him a family to stay with."

"Mrs. Skinner, you know I don't like to treat any case as hopeless, but there is simply no family out there willing to take in a child like Mike. With a disorder like his, he would be too much of a handful, a liability. I don't like it any more than you do, but this hospital is his best option. They can help him manage his disorder better than you and your husband could, no offence."

"Can't we have a day or two to say goodbye?"

"They're already on their way, I can't stop them now. They were very eager to take on Mike's case, they'll give him the best treatment possible. I'm sure they'll let you visit him often."

"I suppose you're right. Thanks Zita."

She hung up the phone. "Jack! Have you left for work yet?"

"I have not yet reported for duty, sir!" he called down from their room.

"We need to talk!"

Jack came down the stairs and she told him what Zita said. He called in sick, and together, they went to get Mike from his room.

"Mike? Mike, we need to talk," said Holly as she knocked on the door.

He didn't try to stop them when they opened the door. He was in his yellow pajamas standing at the window, leaning his head against the glass, looking out at the rain hitting the window. He wasn't angry anymore, he felt numb.

"Sweetie, there are some people coming soon, they're going to take you to your new home."

"New home?" He turned to look at them. "But I thought this was my new home. I mean, I hoped…"

"Well, no. You're going to stay at a facility for a while. They'll help you manage your condition, they'll help you get better."

"A facility, you mean an asylum?"

"It's not like that, it's not as bad as it sounds. The doctors there are trained to help kids in your situation, they know what they're doing, and you'll do well there."

"Why can't I stay here with you?"

"We've never dealt with a disorder like this before, we have no idea what we're doing. We just want what's best for you, and we can't give you the care you need."

"Did I embarrass you? Is it because I broke your stuff? I promise I'll do better, I won't break anything else! I'll keep the others under control, I'll try to be normal!"

"It's not that."

"Do you… do you not like me?" His eyes glistened with tears.

"No, don't ever think that," said Jack. "We just don't think we can give you the care you need. You need people who can help you manage your condition, we're not the right people for that."

"I don't want to leave."

"We'll visit you every week, probably more often than that," Holly promised.

"_Stop begging,"_ said Mal. _"Can't you see they don't want you? You're only making this more difficult for them, and after all the crap you've put them through since you got here, don't you owe it to them to go quietly? Typical Mike, always putting himself before everyone else, you're so selfish."_

"Okay, I'll go," said Mike quietly. "If you really want me too."

They packed his few belongings and then hugged and said their goodbyes. Zelda the cat showed up at the door, as though she somehow knew Mike was leaving. He got to hold her and tell her goodbye, as well.

A white car pulled into their driveway less than an hour later. Mike was very nervous, and he would miss this place, but he was ready.

Mal was getting a lot of enjoyment out of this, and he spoke in Mike's ear, _"Looks like Dorothy is finally going home, and you didn't even have to click your heels. You're going to love the madhouse, you look great in white. One of the best things about the whacky shack is that there will always be someone crazier than you, hard to believe, I know. I'm sure you'll love the doctors, you might even come to think of them as parental figures. You might as well, because Jack and Holly aren't going to keep their promise, they're not going to visit. They might for the first couple weeks, but they'll forget or just get tired of it quickly. They're going to dump you there like people drop off unwanted puppies at the pound, and then they'll go and adopt normal kids and have the big, happy family they always wanted. Or, maybe they won't, maybe they'll be too scared that every kid they adopt will be a whack-job and they won't adopt any more. Wouldn't that be just awful? And it would be all your fault, because you ruin everything._

"_I wonder how long you'll have to stay. It is a kid's facility, so I guess you would get passed along to a big boy one eventually. I know you're scared, but the drugs will fix that. You get free access to mind-numbing drugs, and you never have to feel any bad feelings again, only a constant high. When you're taking them, you could probably hallucinate a family for yourself. The drugs will help shield you from the shock treatments too, and you'll get used to any pain you do feel sooner or later. You'll probably spend the rest of your life in a padded cell, and maybe one day you'll even like it. Think about it, no one would be able to hurt you in there, no one would tease you for your condition and you'd never have to face disappointment and rejection. The cell pads you from the cold, cruel world."_

Mike tried to ignore the voice in his head, but he couldn't tune him out. He was so scared and so depressed, but he put on a brave face for them. He wasn't going to be selfish or ruin everything anymore.

A man and woman in suits came and talked to him and told him about the place he was going to. They sounded nice, but he couldn't get over his uneasiness.

"Hello, Mike," said the woman pleasantly. "We're here to take you to your new home. You're going to love it, the doctors there are very nice. We'll take good care of you, and we'll help you manage your condition."

"How long will I have to stay?"

"As long as you need to. But don't worry, you'll come to think of the other patients as your family in no time."

Mike took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm ready to go."

"Come along Ma-, I mean, Mike," said the man.

Jack got Mike an umbrella, and they took him to the car. As they were putting him inside, Holly said, "Jack, this is wrong."

"You think so too?"

"He might be a handful, but I think he's the one for us. We can learn to help him with his MPD, we can do it. I don't want him to go, I want him to stay with us."

"I'm so glad you agree. I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to feel obligated to keep him if you didn't want to."

"We need to stop this."

"Can we?"

Before they could decide what they needed to do, Mike was sitting in the car, and he saw a folder in the front seat labeled St. Francis' hospital for children's mental health. It meant nothing to him, but it was very significant to Svetlana.

In Mal's time in the asylum, he had never cared enough to find out the name of the facility he was in. But one day, when he had been channeling Svetlana to freak out the doctors, she caught sight of a folder just like this one with that same name.

Svetlana took control and got out of the car and said, "Stop zis! Do not be sending Mike to zat hospital! Zat vas ze same hospital he vas in before he came here, and zey tortured us zere! Zey are animals! Volves in sheep's clothing! If you send Mike back zere, zey vill kill us!"

They grabbed her to keep her quiet and they forced her back into the car. They started driving off with her, but she opened the door, leapt over the top, and took off running as fast as she could.

"I'm going to call the police, you go after Mike!" said Jack.

Holly ran after him, appalled that she had almost sent him to such a terrible place. Of course, Svetlana was just an alternate personality and not the best witness, but right now she had no reason to not trust her, and after those people had tried to forcibly take Mike, that lent a lot of credence to Svetlana's story.

She followed him into the forest by the house. By the time she found him, she was soaked from the rain. She found him sitting on the highest branch of the tallest tree in the forest.

"Mike! Is it you, or is it still Svetlana?"

"It's me."

"Can you get down?"

"I think so."

He slowly began climbing down the tree, and when he was about halfway down, he lost his grip and fell. He landed in mud and got it all over himself.

"Mike! Are you okay?"

"I think so, my leg hurts, though."

She checked his leg. "It's not broken, thank goodness. I think it's just sprained."

He suddenly burst into tears and said, "Please don't send me away, Holly! I don't know why Svetlana took control back there, but I'm trying to keep them under control, I really am! I want to stay with you and Jack, I want to be part of a family."

Mike buried his face in his hands and wept. Holly pulled him into her lap and held him tight, and let him cry on her shoulder. He put his arms around her and she stroked his hair and rocked him back and forth as his body was racked with sobs. The rain was starting to let up, it was sprinkling now.

"Something good might come out of this, one day," she said in an attempt to make him feel better.

"No, nothing good can ever come out of this. Why me? Why?"

Holly felt tears run down her face. She remembered asking the same question the day she found out she would never be pregnant. Every day for so long she had prayed for a baby, but her prayers had gone unanswered. She had come to terms with it eventually, but she still wondered why she couldn't have children of her own when everyone else could. Every day she thought of the babies she could never have, babies with Jack's brown hair and her blonde hair, and it was almost too painful to bear.

But with Mike, she didn't think about it as much. As hectic as the last few days had been, he had a sort of calming effect on her. She was more protective over him than she had ever been with any of their other foster kids, he meant more to her than they had. With her other foster kids she had been a caregiver, nothing more. But with Mike, for the first time in her life, she truly felt like a mother, and she didn't want to lose that.

"I don't know why," said Holly. "But we'll get through this together, you hear me? We're not ever going to send you away, it was a mistake to even consider it. Never again. From now on, you're part of our family. You're my son."

If someone had told Holly when they had first become foster parents that she would one day adopt a child with a disorder like this, she would have said they were crazy. She still wasn't sure if they were cut out for the road ahead of them, Mike was different from any child she'd ever seen before and taking him in would turn their world on its head. But that didn't matter to her, she loved Mike and wanted him to be their son, quirks and all.

"It's selfish of me to ask to stay with you, I'm sorry. I destroyed your stuff, and I have a mental disorder," he said as his whole body shook. "I'm crazy."

"You are not crazy and you're not selfish, either. I told you already, I don't care that you broke my things. I would have too, in your place. You were angry, everyone gets angry. And now you're sad, everyone gets sad, too. These things just mean you're human, like the rest of us."

"On that recording, I was like a little kid, the doctor had to talk to me like I was a baby. The others do things I don't want to do and I can't make them stop. I'm afraid I might hurt someone some day, or that I'll always be an outcast. I just want to be normal. I don't want to be a freak."

"You are not a freak, and being normal is overrated anyway. You'll only be a freak if you believe it. I don't think you're a freak, and neither does Jack. I'm sorry we made you feel that way by sending you with those people. That was wrong. We were just scared, we've never taken care of a kid like you before, we didn't know what to do. We didn't think we could take care of you, and we were afraid of how it would change our lives. Having you around is definitely going to change things, but we're willing to adapt. I had a feeling you might be the one, but I wasn't sure until now. We're going to help you with this, we'll be with you every step of the way. Dr. Lace is going to help you, too, she's going to help you learn to control your disorder so it doesn't control you. Things will get better, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday they will."

"B-B-But why… would you w-want… m-me?" he said through hiccupping sobs. He was crying so hard now he could barely get any words out. "N-N-No one…w-wants a… kid who's in-in-sane. You… sh-should… get a n-normal… kid."

"We've had normal kids in the past, and we've never connected with any of them as much as we have with you. We both think you're the one God chose for us. It won't be easy, but I'm willing to try, if you are. We don't want anyone else, we want you. We'll just be getting a few extra kids in the Mike package. Everything's going to be okay Mike, I promise."

Neither one said anymore. Mike cried until he had no tears left to shed, but even then they just sat there for a long while, listening to the birds and other sounds in the woods. The quiet was tranquil and serene, and the sun was shining beautifully down through the trees.

Mike was a little ashamed of himself for crying so much, but that feeling was forgotten because of the sense of calm and peace he now felt. He had come to terms with his condition, and now that he had, he could look beyond it. The future didn't look so bleak and dismal anymore. He wasn't going to the nuthouse, he wasn't going to spend the rest of his life in a straightjacket. The future was full of obstacles and hurdles, but now he believed he could face them and overcome them. He wasn't scared, upset, or angry anymore. For the first time since receiving his diagnosis, he felt hope beginning to grow.

Hours passed them by, until Jack came and found them.

"The police came and arrested those people. They can't hold them without evidence, but they're going to investigate that hospital. This isn't the first time they've gotten reports like this."

"It's a good thing Svetlana told us, otherwise we might never have known," said Holly. "You see Mike, your alternate personalities aren't all bad."

"Mike, I am so sorry for what we almost did," said Jack. "Can you ever forgive us?"

Mike turned to look at him. "What are you apologizing for?"

"Mike, I want you to become part of our family. It's not really the perfect family, as you've probably guessed by now, but if you want to join it, then we'd love to have you," said Jack.

"Do you really mean that?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

Mike tried to stand, but he let out a hiss of pain and clutched his leg, and nearly fell back down. Holly let him take her arm to help him walk.

Mike hugged him and said, "Thank you, Jack, for letting me stay with you."

"It's not Jack anymore, that's dad to you."

* * *

In the following weeks, St. Francis' was shut down after the investigation turned out that they were using illegal methods to treat patients, including shock treatments and experimental drugs. These methods were only used on children with no family or any connections, children who no one would miss if they died. That was how they had gotten away with it for so long. That was why they had wanted Mike back, so he couldn't tell what was going on in there. The police had gotten reports of possibly illegal treatment methods before, but Svetlana was their first solid witness. She testified of what they had done in there, and her testimony was accepted by the judge. The director was arrested, but most of the doctors who worked there got little or no punishment.

Jack and Holly talked to some of the doctors. They couldn't find most of them, but the few they could find they asked about Mike's past. None of them gave them much to go on.

"We didn't think he had DID, he didn't change personalities. He would act differently, but not in the way patients with the disorder normally switch. We had theories of what might have been wrong with him, from antisocial personality disorder to schizophrenia, but no diagnosis fit the bill. We were stumped."

"He was unlike any patient I've ever treated. Well, I say treated, but not a single treatment method had any effect on his mental state. He had these eyes that seemed to just see right through you, they were cold, dead, and empty. He didn't seem like a child at all, he had the face of a child but the eyes of a monster. We didn't know what to make of him. In the year he was there, we had several nurses and even some doctors resign, some just disappeared. One even committed suicide. There was something very wrong with him."

"I never worked with him myself, but one of the nurses said she believed he was possessed by the devil."

None of them would say what exactly he did in there, or why the nurse thought he was possessed. They wouldn't even give them the name of the personality that had been in control during that time, they all just wanted to forget he had ever existed. They wondered what had went on in there, but it was left a mystery.

Jack and Holly didn't know what to make of these testimonies, because none of them gave them any real answers to Mike's past. They were a little hesitant to believe them about Mike after all they had been doing in there, and he showed no signs of this personality returning, but they would keep a look out for it, in case it ever did return. They told his psychiatrist about it, but warned her to not tell Mike unless it showed signs of coming back. They decided not to tell Mike about it, because he was just a kid and it would only make him fear himself. He didn't need to know about things like that that he couldn't change, they would instead encourage him to look to the future.

Jack and Holly signed the adoption papers the very next week and made Mike an official part of the family. Now that he had accepted his disorder and had people to love and take care of him, he was beginning to look much healthier. The shadows under his eyes vanished, and he filled out a little so he no longer looked like a skeleton. There was light in his eyes now, he was beginning to remember how to be happy.

"You're a Skinner now," said Jack as he mussed his hair. "How does it feel to be part of the family?"

"Better than I ever imagined," he said with a broad grin on his face.

Mike couldn't believe what had happened. He had been sure they would never keep him, but they had. He couldn't understand why they would choose him when they could have had any other child, but he was so glad that they did. He was part of a family, he had a mom and dad who loved him, and he couldn't be happier.

Before they finalized it, Zita called one last time.

"I am so sorry, Mrs. Skinner. We had no idea what was going on in that hospital, I never would have had them come for Mike if I had known. But there is another hospital that specializes in children's mental health, and-"

"No, Zita."

"Now, Mrs. Skinner, I understand if you're reluctant to trust mental hospitals after what happened, but-"

"That isn't the issue. Mike won't be going to any hospitals. He will see his psychiatrist every week and take his medication, he doesn't need any more treatment beyond that."

"You aren't really going to take responsibility for a child like this? If you're interested in special needs children, surely you could find one whose needs aren't so… demanding. And he would do so much better in a facility or a group home-"

"He doesn't need a facility, he needs a mother and father. Goodbye, Zita."

They repainted Mike's room turquoise, his favorite color. Before, the walls were solid white, neutral for a boy or girl because they didn't know which they would adopt.

Dr. Lace prescribed drugs for anxiety and depression, and though Mike didn't like taking pills, he did it anyway, and he did feel better once he started.

One night, a week after adopting Mike and after one of his therapy sessions, Jack and Holly were talking about one of the implications of taking him in.

"I still can't believe we're finally parents," said Holly as she painted her nails bright red. "I finally have a child of my very own to love and raise, I finally get to hear a child call me mom. I just hope I can do a good job as a mother."

"You can't do any worse than his birth parents, that's for sure.

"You've got a point. I'm surprised he can trust us after all that happened to him, even if he can't remember it."

"We need to show him that not all parents hurt their children."

"You know, that psychiatrist is very expensive. Insurance covers some of it, but not all. The medication isn't cheap, either. We don't have the money to keep one long term, that is, unless we break into our savings."

"I knew it was coming, I just didn't want to accept it."

Holly waited for her nails to dry and then got up and went over to one of the many jars full of change and dollars bills they had saved over the years. The jars labeled "Dream House."

"Do it fast, get it over with," said Jack as he looked away.

"This is a sad, sad day, but I'll do it, for Mike."

"For Mike," Jack agreed.

Holly took the jar and dumped it into her purse. She left the now empty jar by the wall.

"I'll take it to the bank tomorrow."

"Let's try to avoid driving by the dream house from now on."

"It's worth it for Mike," Holly said like a mantra.

"It's worth it for Mike."

* * *

On their first weekend together as a family, Jack and Holly took Mike to meet his new grandparents. It was just Holly's dad and Jack's grandmother now. They were meeting at Pierre's, the restaurant Jack worked at.

"What are they like?" Mike asked on the drive over.

"You're going to love your new grandparents, Mike," said Holly. "Your grandpa is gruff on the outside, but he's a softie on the inside. He used to travel all over the world with my mom before she died. I went on a few of those trips, I got to see Peru and Italy. And your great grandmother used to own and operate an orphanage, she found homes for a lot of kids just like you."

"Do you think they'll like me?"

"Are you kidding? They've been waiting for a grandchild for ages. Well, technically Wendy's already got Jack, but for obvious reasons you can see why she'd want another."

"You're so mean to me," said Jack as he playfully swatted her arm.

Mike was worried they wouldn't like him, but he was also very excited about getting grandparents. They arrived at the restaurant where his grandparents were already waiting for them.

"Jack!" said his grandmother as she ran to embrace her grandson. "Hello Holly," she said with less enthusiasm.

"Hello Wendy. Hi Dad!"

"Hey, pumpkin. I see you brought your husband," he said with just a tiny hint of disdain.

"Hi Dad," said Jack.

"Call me Todd."

"Yes sir."

Wendy let go of Jack and went to Mike. "And this must be little Mike!" She wrapped him in a big hug. "You can call me Nana, like all my little orphans used to."

"Hi Nana," he said, surprised that she already seemed to like him. She was very small, almost as short as Mike. She had long white hair tied back in an elaborate braid, and her skin was darker than that of her grandson's. She could have easily passed as Mike's biological grandmother. Her dress was bright and colorful, and she wore purple butterfly earrings. She had an inviting smile on her face, he liked her already.

He looked to his grandfather to see what he thought of him. His grandfather was a tall, stern looking man, and his hair was almost completely gray. Mike was intimidated by him.

Todd held out a hand. "Good to meet you, boy."

Mike tentatively shook his hand. The gesture was formal and stiff, and he wasn't sure what he grandfather thought of him.

"Well, let's get inside before we all catch a cold out here!" said Holly, trying to ease the tension.

As they went inside, Mike admired the restaurant. He had never been in such a fancy place before. There were white Christmas lights in every doorway despite it not being Christmastime, and there was classical music playing in the background. Everyone was dressed to the nines, to Mike, it was like a castle.

They went inside and found a table. A waitress came over to take their orders. When she got to Mike, he tried to order but one of his personalities suddenly came out.

"I'll have the chicken- No thanks roo, I don't eat anything I didn't catch with my bare hands. Why, a few nights ago I had myself a dinner of squirrel and snake. My favorite is bear though, you ever try bear meat, roo?"

The waitress took a step back from him, and Holly quickly said, "He'll have the chicken parmesan."

The waitress wrote it down and walked away. He said, "Only if you kill the chicken in the kitchen!"

"Will you please let Mike back out? He's trying to get to know his grandparents," said Holly. She didn't really expect him to let Mike come back, but there wasn't much else she could do.

"No way, Sheila, I want to talk to your explorer father. Tell me, have you been to every country in the world?"

"Holly, could I have a word with you?" asked Todd. His tone was neutral, but with an undercurrent of disdain.

"Sure Dad," said Holly. She had been dreading this.

They walked over by the restrooms and Todd said, "Pumpkin, I'm sorry, but what are you thinking? Why would you ever adopt a boy with a condition like this? How can you stand it?"

"It's not as bad as you think. I'm not sure who this personality is, we haven't really been acquainted, but I'm sure he's a great guy. And Mike is a wonderful kid, you don't know that because he's shy, but once he opens up you'll see how great he is. He needs us."

"I understand that you feel sorry for him, and I can see why, but let someone else take care of it. You have a life to live, I don't want to see it dominated by this boy's disorder."

"But his life is dominated by it, and that's why he needs us. We're helping him so that his disorder won't dominate it as much. We're the only ones who understand him, and we love him. What if I had given birth to Mike myself and he had this disorder, would you still want me to give him away?"

"That is entirely different."

"No, it's not. Mike might not be the perfect child, but if you're looking for the perfect grandchild then you're going to be waiting a long time. Please Dad, respect my decision, and at the very least pretend to like Mike. He needs people in his life to accept him, because not many people will. Do it for your little girl, please?"

"I'll respect your decision. I have nothing against Mike, I won't have to pretend. I just want you to be happy."

"Mike does make me happy. Thank you, Dad." She hugged him, and he gently hugged her back.

"Jack I'll still have to pretend with, though. That is one decision of yours that I will never be able to respect. I still think you could have done better."

"Wendy thinks the same of me, will you two never change?"

They went back to the table, and to Holly's relief Mike was back. Wendy was talking to him about something.

"Her name was Esmeralda, and she came to us when she was twelve with ten other personalities."

"Really? Ten?" said Mike curiously.

"Some of them were very interesting, I think one was a pilot. She had never even been in a plane, but that personality could tell you the ins and outs of just about any plane. Sadly, we couldn't find a home for her, so she stayed with us until she was eighteen. I did love her though, I haven't seen her in years. If I see her again, I'll give her your number. I think you two would be great friends."

"I'd love to meet her," said Mike.

"Another of her personalities was sort of like that ballerina one you've got-"

"I think that's enough talk about this kind of thing, Nana," said Jack. "Don't you want to ask Mike other questions?"

"I'll talk about whatever I want to talk about, sonny. Now Mike, what kind of sports do you like to play? Do you have any hobbies?"

Mike answered her questions, but he hadn't minded talking to her about MPD. He didn't feel weird talking about his disorder with her because she didn't make it weird. She truly enjoyed his company and seemed to like him, and his grandfather did, too. As they talked, she showed him how to fold the napkins into birds and frogs.

Todd started asking questions over dinner, too. "You think you might ever want to do some traveling when you're older?"

"Maybe, but I wouldn't want to go too far."

"Ah, a homebody. Well, I'd offer to take you on a ride on my boat someday, but I sold it after my wife passed on. You should do some traveling though, new scenery would do you good."

Jack and Holly were relieved to see that they were getting along. They really had both wanted a grandchild for a long time, and they couldn't do any better than Mike.

After dinner was over, Mike hugged both his new grandparents. "Bye Nana, by Grandpa."

"Call me Pops, that's what I used to call my grandfather." He patted Mike's shoulder, hugged his daughter, and then got in his car to leave.

"Goodbye Mike, you must come see me soon," said Wendy as she hugged him. "We'll have a marvelous time."

"I'd love to."

Wendy got back in her car. As she drove off, she nearly hit a fire hydrant. Jack said, "I'm pretty sure she shouldn't be driving, but she refuses to give it up."

"She's gotten less tickets than you, honey," said Holly.

"She's just better at not getting caught."

They got in their car, and Jack asked, "So, what do you think of your new grandparents?"

"They're great! Can I visit them soon? Please?"

Jack and Holly smiled. "I'm sure we can work something out."

* * *

Holly enrolled Mike in school, and he was to start in the fourth grade. However, once the school found out about his condition, they denied him admission. Holly and Mike went out to the school to talk to the school board.

Holly and Jack had considered homeschooling him, but they wanted to give him a chance in public school first. They hoped it would help him make some friends, and it would give his life a feeling of more normalcy. Homeschooling would be used as a last resort.

"My name is Holly Skinner," she said to the board. "And this is my son, Mike. He's new to my family. Actually, we were a couple, Mike is the one who made us into a family. He needs a good school to go to, and we would like him to come here. But he's been denied admission, now why is that again?"

"Mike has been diagnosed with a condition that would be distracting to other students and could cause a disturbance," said the lead member.

"You think Mike would be a distraction? So are the class clowns, pretty much all children cause disturbances in the classroom. Do you deny them admission?"

"Well, of course not."

"Mike is no more distracting than they are. But I'm going to let him tell you himself."

Holly stepped back and gestured him forward. Mike was very nervous, he didn't like being the center of attention, but he did really want to go to school. He couldn't remember having ever been to school, and he wanted to learn.

"My name is Mike, and I have Multiple Personality Disorder. I'm learning to control it, and I have people helping me cope with it. I really want to go to school, I want to read books and learn new things. And maybe even make friends. Please let me go to school."

"I'm sorry, but we cannot accommodate a child with a disorder like his in a regular classroom. There are other schools that offer classes for children with special needs-"

"Mike doesn't have those kinds of special needs. He can read and write as well as any other child, and he is very intelligent. Putting him in a special needs class would only be holding him back."

"I am sorry, Mrs. Skinner, but Mike simply cannot attend our school."

"Mike, honey, step outside please," said Holly.

Mike left the room, and through the door he could hear his mother yelling at the school board. It was another half hour before she came back out, but when she did, she was red in the face and had on a triumphant smile.

"We won, baby! You're going to school!"

"Yes!" said Mike as he pumped his fist in the air.

They went straight to the store for school supplies. It pleased Holly to see Mike so excited, especially about something that most kids dreaded.

* * *

The next Thursday, Holly finally went back to work at her salon. She owned it, which was why she wasn't fired for taking so many days off. Jack had the day off, and so he took Mike to see his psychiatrist. Mike had decided that he was going to be brave and go in by himself, but he was still nervous. Jack was reading a sports magazine, but he gave him a thumbs up as he went inside the office.

"You know Mike, in most cases of MPD, personalities hold characteristics of the host, along with memories. It's like they're holding onto these memories and characteristics for safekeeping," said Dr. Lace. She wasn't going to tell him about his violent personality, but they did need to make sure he knew to look out for it. "For example, Manitoba has your spirit of adventure. From what you've told me and from what I have observed, Vito has much of your confidence, and Svetlana is like your survival instinct. But what I'm wondering is, do you have a personality that holds most of your anger?"

"Chester does."

"No, he has your frustration. I'm talking anger from abuse suffered when you were younger. None of your personalities are violent, and so I wonder if there are more that haven't shown themselves."

"There's one that talks to me occasionally, he says terrible things and makes me feel awful. I try to tune him out, but some of the things he says I already believe about myself, like that I'm selfish and don't deserve a family. I have a memory of him, but it's vague. He's hurting someone in it, and it looks like he's in juvie. I used to think I had dreamed him, but after he started talking I realized he was real."

"Does he have a name?"

"I think so, it's just on the tip of my tongue, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is."

"Has he given any indication as to why he treats you this way?"

"No, I don't know why, he just does."

"He may have been a protector at one point, taking abuse for you. In a lot of cases of MPD, a personality may start out as a protector, but later become a persecutor for unknown reasons. I can't say for sure without studying him, but it sounds like that to me. But Mike, I want you to know that the things he says aren't true. You aren't selfish, and you deserve a family just as much as anyone else does. I know it may be tempting to listen to him, but I want you to remember that you have people who love you and that you have the same rights as everyone else. Whenever he says something to hurt you, tell someone, don't keep it secret."

"Should I be afraid of him?"

"As long as he's showing no signs of coming out, I wouldn't worry. If he does start showing himself, tell your parents and me immediately, okay?"

"I will. Doctor, what about my other personalities? The ones that don't come out as much and don't have names."

"Well, so far I've only seen two, so it's hard to say. Carrot Top seemed more developed than the one that came after him. He talked about having toys and a big family and living in a nice home. He's mentally around five years old, and that's probably close to the same age you were at when you developed this disorder. I believe he represents the happy childhood you should have had but didn't. The other was very angry, but curiously more angry at you than your parents, even though they were the ones inflicting the damage. He said it was because you made him take the abuse for you, but I think it goes deeper than that. I once treated another patient with MPD, and she had a personality similar to this one. The one you mentioned before I believe is a protector turned persecutor, but because of the developmental level this one is on, I believe it's partly a manifestation of guilt."

"Guilt about what?"

"In most cases of child abuse, children are likely to blame themselves instead of the perpetrators for what happened to them even though it wasn't their fault. But even if they do blame themselves, some part of them is angry at their persecutors for the pain they're put through. When the abuser is a parent, the child may feel guilty for thinking bad thoughts about them and try to suppress that anger, which in the long run does more harm than good. In your case, suppressing that anger manifested in at least one alternate personality that feels so guilty about thinking bad thoughts about your parents that it hates you and by extension, itself. Some may take this to the extreme of causing self-harm. Be on the lookout for alters like this, as well. If you wake up and find unexplained cuts or other injuries, tell your parents and me immediately. If anything ever seems strange, don't be afraid to tell us."

"You mean stranger. I've already got strange covered," he said with a little smile.

"Oh no Mike, I've seen far stranger than you," she said as she returned his smile.

"Thank you for helping me, Dr. Lace. I'm sorry I got so mad at you before and yelled at you."

"That's quite all right. Honestly, I would be more worried if you hadn't gotten worked up and angry, you need to express these feelings, bottling them up doesn't do you any good. Little explosions prevent big explosions, that's my philosophy."

"I kind of had a bigger explosion after I got home, I broke a lot of Holly's things," he said sheepishly. "I broke her snowglobes, her picture frames, and even her antique vase. I feel really bad about it."

"I see. Well Mike, you made a mistake, you've owned up to it, and you're not going to do it again, are you?"

"Oh no, never."

"That's one of the things that separates you from your personalities, the ability to learn, grow, and move on with your life. Your personalities are incapable of developing past the stage they're at now, they'll always be the same. The ones that are less developed are stuck in the past and can't move on. Your main ones may be able to learn new things, but they'll always have the same mindsets and they'll stay at the mental age they're at now. They're likely to repeat the same mistakes over and over, but you can learn from yours and avoid them. Your mind will change and grow, and every day you'll become a better Mike than you were yesterday."

"I hope so."

"I know so."

"Thank you, Dr. Lace," he repeated with a smile.

After his appointment, when Mike came back out, Jack said, "What's up, doc?"

Mike looked confused, he looked over his shoulder. "Are you talking to the doctor?"

"Do you mean to tell me you don't know who Bugs Bunny is?" asked Jack incredulously.

"No, am I supposed to?"

"Just you wait until we get back home, are you ever in for a treat."

Jack drove Mike back home and went to his movie collection.

"Holly's not a big fan of cartoons or anything animated, but she doesn't know what she's missing. Ah! Here we go, Looney Tunes."

Jack put on the DVD and they sat down on the couch. Mike didn't know what to expect, and he thought it was really weird when animals started talking. But after a few minutes of watching, Mike started liking it more and more. He relaxed and stopped hugging his knees to his chest, and by the end of the first cartoon, he was doubled over laughing. It was the first time Jack had ever heard him laugh, and it warmed his heart to see him so happy.


	12. Adjusting

With Mike's condition, there were several adjustments Jack and Holly had to make to accommodate him. Twice a week they would have meat for dinner, and twice a week they would go vegetarian. This satisfied Vito and Svetlana, for the most part. There was no satisfying Chester, however.

They started occasionally taking Svetlana to gymnastics tournaments and Vito to the gym. If they didn't, they would just take off and do it anyway, at least this way they knew they were safe. There was another personality that had only spoken to them once directly that they didn't know well yet, Manitoba, who loved the outdoors, so they started planning camping trips to keep him happy. They recorded each personality in action so that Mike could see what it was like to other people. It weirded him out a bit, and it was surreal to think that his body had the capability to do things like Svetlana's stunts when he tripped over his own shoelaces. It was hard to believe it was him in those videos.

They also tried to keep his alters from being triggered. Svetlana was agreeable and didn't come out too often, and Chester usually didn't stay out for long. Vito and Manitoba weren't concerned with Mike's wishes and they stayed out as long as they wanted and did whatever they wanted. They didn't yet know Manitoba's trigger, but it didn't take very long for them to figure out Vito's. It became obvious when they went to the community swimming pool one day before the end of summer. Mike took off his shirt, and Vito immediately came out. Thinking quickly, Jack picked his shirt off the ground and shoved it back on him, and Mike came back.

Every morning and every night for a while after that, one parent would take Mike's shirt off and the other would put another on him as fast as possible. This worked for a time, until one night when Mike went with Jack to Pierre's Restaurant to watch him work.

"Wanna hear a joke, Mike?" asked Jack as they went into the kitchen and he put on his apron.

"Sure!" Mike loved his jokes.

"So there's these two muffins in an oven, they're both just sitting and chilling out. One of them suddenly yells, 'Oh man, it's hot in here!' And the other muffin replies 'Holy crap, a talking muffin!'"

Mike cracked up at that and Jack laughed with him. Holly didn't always get his sense of humor, so it was great that Mike did.

"Are you really the head chef Ja- Dad?" he asked. He was still getting used to calling him dad.

"That's right, they'd be lost without me."

Jack showed him how they prepared lobster and pasta, and all the seasonings he used. He showed him all the ins and outs of the kitchen and how everything worked. Mike was eager to learn about it all.

"Maybe you'll be a chef someday, Mike."

"I don't know, I kind of want to be an actor."

"I didn't know that! You should join the drama club at school when you're old enough, get some experience under your belt. You'd be a great actor, Mike. But I'm still going to teach you to cook, girls love a guy who can cook."

"I don't want a girlfriend yet."

"Oh, you will," he said with a wink.

"Where's the bathroom?"

"Second door on your left."

Mike went to use the bathroom, but on his way back his shirt snagged on a coat hanger. It only pulled his shirt up halfway, but Vito had been contained too long and he seized the opportunity. He ripped the shirt off and went into the dining area. He scanned the room as classical music played and found his target.

"Hey babe, wanna take the Vito for a spin?" he asked one of the customers.

"Aren't you a cutie," she said with a smile.

"Why does everyone say that?" he asked in frustration. "Why does no one take me seriously?"

"Hey kid, get lost," said her boyfriend.

"I ain't no kid, bro. Now if you'll excuse us, the lady and I are gonna get to know each other a little better."

The guy stood up. "I said, get lost."

"Derrick, he's just a kid, give him a break."

"Oh, I'm gonna give him a break if he doesn't get out of here."

Derrick was three times his size, but that didn't matter to Vito. He socked him in the jaw.

Derrick's face went beet red in rage. He swung a fist at Vito and punched him in the eye and knocked him down flat on his back.

"Stop it, Derrick, stop it! Leave him alone!" cried the girl.

Vito got right back up and he punched him in the lip and split it open. Derrick socked him in the ear so hard it made him see stars, but he still wouldn't give up, and kicked him in the face. Derrick came at him again, but Vito stuck out his foot and tripped him and he landed on the dessert cart.

All the waiters and waitresses were trying to calm everyone down, but with little success. Jack and the rest of the staff heard the commotion and came out to see what was happening. Derrick, now covered in dessert, was about to knock Vito into next week when Jack saw the fight and became enraged.

"Hey! Get away from my son!" said Jack as he shoved Derrick away from Vito.

"Oh, the short fat man thinks he can tell me what to do!" He punched Jack in the nose, and made blood gush from it. He wasn't sure if it was broken or not, but it felt broken.

"Ayo, butt out old man!" said Vito. "This is my fight!"

Jack swung a fist into Derrick's stomach, making him double over in pain.

"Don't you ever touch my son again," he growled.

Three men finally came to break up the fight. Everyone in the restaurant was staring as both Derrick and Vito tried to break free to finish their fight. Jack had never been in a fight or had to be restrained before, this was a new experience for him.

"That's enough!" said the manager when he came out to see what all the commotion was about. "What is going on here?"

"This kid was harassing me and my girl!" said Derrick.

"I am not your girl anymore, Derrick. That was completely immature and uncalled for!" she turned around and left the restaurant.

"Oh, come on, baby! Don't be like that!" said Derrick as he followed her out.

"Whose child is this?" asked the manager angrily.

"For the last time, I am not a child!" said Vito angrily.

"Mine, sir," said Jack.

"Get a shirt on that boy and get him out of my restaurant, and then come see me in my office."

The music in the background had stopped playing, and the whole scene was very awkward for everyone. The man holding Jack back let him go. He didn't know how he had lost his shirt or where it was now, so he took off his jacket and put it around Vito's shoulders and zipped it up. The man holding him back let go as Mike was coming back.

"Dad? What's going on?" He could already tell that he was going to have a black eye. "Why is your nose bleeding?"

"It's nothing son, we're just having some difficulties tonight. Come with me."

He took Mike out to the car. "Just stay in here, I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Okay Dad." Mike was confused, but he decided to hold off on his questions. He wondered why he had to leave, why his lip was bleeding and why his eye was sore, and why he was wearing his dad's too-big jacket with no shirt on underneath.

Jack was able to staunch the flow of blood from his nose, and he went back inside. He ignored the stares from the others as he went to the bathroom to clean himself up a bit before seeing his boss. He got the blood off his face, but it wasn't coming off his shirt. He went to his boss's office and knocked.

"Enter."

He went inside and sat in the chair before his desk.

"Sir, I did warn you beforehand about my son's condition."

"You didn't tell me it was that bad. You've got Dr. Jekyll for a son."

"He wasn't in control at the time, he doesn't even know what happened."

"That doesn't excuse his behavior. What do you think the customers think?"

"That what that man did was inexcusable. Picking fights with children? How low can you get?"

"I was told your son threw the first punch."

"That doesn't give a full grown adult the right to beat up a child."

"Jack, you know I like you. You're the best chef we've had in years, but this cannot go on. You've already had to miss several days of work because of him."

"I'm just trying to be there for him when he needs me. If you knew was he's been through-"

"We'll stop getting customers if they know the man preparing their food has a mentally-ill son."

"It's none of their business what goes on in my family."

"Profits will drop if incidents like this continue to happen. I'd be surprised if half the people stay after seeing that."

"It wasn't his fault, he's trying so hard to manage his condition. Can't you give him another chance?"

"That was his one chance, I will not have a repeat of that incident. Jack, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to let you go."

"I wouldn't want to work in a place that treats my son this way, anyway," said Jack as he rose to his feet. He left the restaurant with his head held high. He went to the kitchen one last time to collect his things and to get some ice for Mike. Once he was back outside, he put his head in his hands.

Cooking was his passion, and he loved working at this restaurant. These people were his friends, he loved serving the customers, and he got to do what he loved for a living. Not to mention, the job paid well, and so their income would be greatly affected by this.

For a minute, he let himself be angry at Vito for costing him his job. Why couldn't he walk away from a fight? Why did he have to start fights in the first place? And why did he have to hit on every attractive woman he came across? But that's just the way Vito was, and he couldn't change that. Maybe if they let him come out more often he wouldn't go so wild, but he didn't know for sure. All he knew was that he couldn't let Mike see how upset he was.

He went back to the car and got in the driver's seat. He handed him the ice and said, "Use this for your eye and for your lip. You're going to have a shiner, but the ice should keep it from being too bad."

He started to pull out, and Mike asked, "What happened? Why are we leaving?"

"It's not important, son."

"Did Vito do something?"

"A little, but nothing major."

"That's why I'm wearing your jacket, isn't it? Did he get you in trouble? Is he the one who punched you?"

"No, one of the customers went on a rampage, got us both pretty good. Vito thought he could help the situation." He managed a smile for him.

"Did he get you fired?"

"No, I quit. They started using a spice in the food that irritates my allergies, and I just can't be around it. Besides, that job was getting boring anyway, I could use a change."

Mike wasn't convinced, but he let the matter drop. After he went to bed, Jack told Holly what happened.

"Oh Jack, I'm so sorry. I know how much you loved that job," she said as she hugged him.

"I'll find a new one soon enough, surely there's someone out there willing to hire an ex-head chef. Don't tell Mike though, he's got enough to deal with already."

Little did they know that Mike was listening in from the top of the stairs where they couldn't see him. He went back to bed, angry at himself and at Vito.

* * *

With Jack's resume, it didn't take him long to find a new job. However, instead of being the head chef at an upscale restaurant, he was now the head chef at a local diner.

"You want to go in to work with me to celebrate my first day on the job?" Jack asked Mike as he was getting ready for work.

Mike was sitting on the couch reading a book. He shook his head no. "I think I'd rather stay here."

"Why don't you want to come with me? I told them all about you, and they're dying to meet you."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"I won't force you, but I really wish you would."

"I don't want to get you in trouble again."

"I told you it wasn't a big deal. I told them about your quirk, and they were very understanding. Come on Mike, let me show off my new son."

Mike gave in and agreed, but he was very worried about the whole thing and he was determined to keep the others in check this time.

Jack went in to start cooking someone's order, and Mike sat at the counter, swinging his legs in his seat.

An Asian waitress with short black hair came to take his order. "What can I get you?"

"Nothing, I'm not here to eat. I'm here with my dad."

"Are you Jack's son? He told us about you."

"What did he say?" said Mike apprehensively.

"He told us how cool you are. Hey Ted! Come meet Mike!"

A large black man in an apron came over. "So this is the famous Mike. Your dad's only just started working here and you're all he talks about."

Mike still felt nervous, but he liked these people.

"I'm Kira, nice to meet you, Mike," said the waitress. As she reached out to shake his hand, she accidentally knocked over a cup of coffee onto his shirt, and Chester came out.

"Dang teenager! You spilled hot coffee on me! Is that any way to go treating your elders?"

"Sorry, sorry!" said Kira. She took a bunch of napkins and tried to help him clean up. Mike came back and, by the looks on their faces, he must have switched.

"I switched, didn't I? Which one was it?"

"Um, some old guy? Does he have a name?"

"Chester. He always comes out when I'm feeling frustrated. I'm sorry, I try to keep him in."

"Don't be sorry, kid," said Ted. "Chester doesn't seem like a bad guy."

"I think we might have a spare shirt in the back, you could change out of that one."

"No!" said Mike, and they looked at him in surprise. "I mean, I don't mind wearing coffee on my shirt. I'll change when I get home."

"Suit yourself. Again, sorry about that, I'm such a klutz."

"Hey Mike, you like apple pie?" asked Ted.

"I don't know, I've never tried it."

"Well, you're about to."

Ted cut a piece of the pie on display and put it on a plate and gave it to him with a fork.

"I don't have any money."

"I ain't askin' for money. Employee's kids get special benefits, don't you know?"

Mike tried a bite. "It's delicious!"

"I thought you'd like it. You're a tall one, but you sure are scrawny. You could use a few pies."

"So Mike, have you seen any good movies lately?" asked Kira.

"My mom showed me Total Warriors."

"I love that movie! What was your favorite part?"

While Mike ate his pie, Kira and Ted talked to him and told funny stories about their experiences from working at the diner. They had to serve customers, but whenever they weren't busy they were telling him jokes or asking him questions about his favorite movies. Mike was very relieved that they didn't seem bothered by his condition, and that they really seemed to like him. He hadn't expected that.

When Jack was on his break, he spoke to Mike while Kira and Ted were busy.

"I see you've made some new friends."

"Yeah, they're really great. But Dad, why did you lie to me about your old job?"

"What do you mean?"

"I heard you telling Mom about what happened. You lied, you said you quit, but Vito got you fired! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to get upset and blame yourself. I know it wasn't your fault."

"But that doesn't change the fact that you lost your job because of me. I've been living with you for less than a month and I made you get fired." He hung his head in shame.

"Mike, do you know what motivation is?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm going to explain it anyway. Motivation is the reason we do things. Without it, no one would ever do anything. If you're going to do something, you have to have a reason. Sometimes that reason may not make sense, but as long as there's a reason, there's motivation. Now, what is the biggest motivator when it comes to working a job?"

"Money."

"That's right, money. People will work at jobs they utterly despise to pay the bills and put food on the table. They may work that awful job for years, just for money. But after a while, money may no longer be a big enough motivator. You still need the money, but you don't want to work there anymore because you can't stand it. So, you go and find another job, one you don't hate. It may not pay as much, but if you love your job, that doesn't matter as much."

"But you loved your job at that restaurant! You didn't want to get fired."

"True, I did like that old job. But they wouldn't accept you there, they refused to see you as a person. They only saw you as a problem because of your quirk, they didn't see a little boy trying as hard as he can to fit in and live his life. Here though, they aren't as quick to judge. They're more willing to give you a chance, instead of setting you up for failure like at the old place. They see you as a human being, a person with feelings, and they're willing to forgive you when you mess up. No amount of money in the world can buy that. I won't work in a place where my son is treated like a problem because of a condition he didn't ask for. I'd rather work here for less money where my family is respected."

"But Dad, please don't lie to me anymore. I want to know what my personalities do when they come out, even if it's not good. If they do something they shouldn't, then I need to try to make it right."

"All right son, no more lies. From now on, we'll tell you when these things happen, but only if you promise not to beat yourself up over it. Deal?"

"Deal."

After Jack's shift ended, Mike said goodbye to Kira and Ted and they went back home. He went outside to ride the old, rusty bike that had once been for foster children, and he rode for hours. But when Holly called him inside for dinner, he didn't answer, another voice did. She saw Mike high up in a tree, and he yelled something down to her. He was so far away she couldn't make it out.

"I didn't get a word of that, but it sounded foreign."

"Svetlana?"

"I don't think so, but whatever accent that was, it was not Canadian."

"You know, today he asked me not to lie to him anymore when his personalities come out. I told him we would tell him the truth about it from now on."

"But Jack, is that really a good idea? I mean, what if one of them does something really bad, and telling him will only upset him? I don't like to lie, especially not to him, but I think we need to to protect him."

"But then he won't trust us anymore, and that will be much worse. At least he has us to help him deal with these things, if he stops trusting us then we won't be able to support him like we need to. If we tell him the truth, he'll tell us the truth."

"Okay, we'll be honest with him. It is easier than keeping secrets. But we're still going to keep the secret about the personality in the asylum, technically we agreed to keep that secret before this deal was struck."

"Yeah, I can't see any good coming from telling him that now. Maybe when he's older and better able to handle it."

"We'll start now. When he comes back inside, we'll tell him he dug up the backyard."

"When did he do that?"

"Right now!"

Jack looked and, sure enough, he was digging a hole in the backyard. They ran outside to stop him, but Mike got back control right as they came out, and so the hole wasn't deep and was easily filled back in.

* * *

Mike was very nervous on his first day of school, but excited too.

Holly dropped him off at school instead of having him take the bus. The bus wasn't ever really fun for anyone, especially when your personalities threatened to come out and humiliate you.

He couldn't remember ever being around so many kids before. It was a little overwhelming, but in a good way.

He had been told to find room three, and when he found it, he just stared at it for a moment. This plain wooden door would lead him to a classroom of new friends and a world of knowledge.

He opened the door and went inside. He found the desk with his name on it and sat down. The other desks were mostly filled, and a few more kids came inside. At the front was a woman with gray hair and glasses. She looked friendly.

When everyone was at their seat, the woman stood and smiled. "Good morning students, and welcome to a new year at school." Her voice was light and delicate. "My name is Ms. Askins, and I'll be your fourth grade teacher. Most of you already know me, but there is one student who is new here and doesn't know us yet. Mike Skinner, would you please stand with me so we can introduce ourselves?"

Mike didn't want to be singled out, but he did as the teacher asked. He got out of his seat and came to stand beside her in front of the chalkboard.

"My name is Mike Skinner, but the teacher just said that…" said Mike nervously. He hoped he didn't sound stupid.

"Class, take turns introducing yourselves to Mike. Lucy, would you start us off?"

Lucy gave her first and last name. She had curly blonde hair and light blue eyes. She was very pretty, he had to tear his gaze off her. The rest of the class gave him their names, as well.

"Now class, there's something you should know about Mike. He has a little problem…"

_Oh no,_ thought Mike as his eyes widened in horror. _Surely she won't tell them! She can't, can she?_

"He has a mental disorder called Dissociative Identity Disorder. That means he acts like other people sometimes, but you should still try to be his friend. You'll just have to be patient with him. That'll be all Mike, you can return to your seat now."

Mike was mortified. The diagnosis was bad enough, having it announced to the entire world was the worst thing that could have ever happened to him. He could feel the eyes of all his classmates on him, and he could only imagine what they must think of him now. He wanted to run out of the classroom, he wanted to crawl under his desk and hide, but doing anything would just make him look even stranger. The best he could do was pretend to not care and hope the others would forget soon. Like they ever would.

After class in the lunchroom, three boys and two girls came to sit by him, but not to be friendly.

"So, what exactly is this disorder thing?" asked one of the boys.

"It's nothing, really." But at that moment, Chester decided to come out to complain about the food. "What is this slop? Nothing here even resembles food. Is this an apple? Why isn't it apple sauce? I'll break my dentures if I have to try to bite into this!"

Mike returned to hear the others laughing at him, and he had no idea why. He noticed a lot of other kids in the lunchroom were staring at him like a sideshow attraction.

"So that's what it is!" said a girl. "The teacher could have saved us all some time and just said you were crazy."

"I'm not crazy," but he said this with no conviction and they just laughed louder. The biggest boy ate the French fries off his tray and knocked the rest of the food onto the floor.

"Oh yeah, this is going to be a fun year. I hope you've got plenty of others in there you want to show us. Don't introduce them all at once though, I might bust a gut."

They got up to leave, and one of them shoved Mike off the bench he was sitting on. They laughed as he pulled himself up.

It got even worse in gym. He wasn't in control for any of it, but when kids started mocking him in girly Russian accents, it wasn't hard to figure out who had been in charge.

As he was walking down the hallway, some of the boys who had made fun of him before knocked the books out of another kid's arms. Mike went over and helped him pick up his books.

"Hi, I'm Mike, we're in the same class," he said to introduce himself. He handed the boy back his books, but he looked horrified and repulsed.

"I know exactly who you are, you stay away from me, you freak!" The boy took his books and took off running in the opposite direction. Out of everything that happened that day, that was the most painful.

He spent the rest of the day trying to pretend he was invisible. They mostly left him alone after that, and he was very disappointed with his first day. This was supposed to be fun, he was supposed to make friends, but he had failed in both miserably. Mal was about to comment to make him feel even worse, but he changed his mind. The kids in school had done his job for him, he was not needed here.

After school that day, Mike told Holly what had happened during the drive home. She immediately did an illegal U-turn right there and drove straight back to the school. Her face was impassive, but Mike could feel the anger radiating off her. He wondered if he should have just stayed quiet about the whole thing.

Once she was back in the school parking lot, she got out of the car and slammed her door shut. With one hand she held Mike's hand, and with the other she called Jack and quickly explained what had happened. He told her he would be there in five minutes.

She took Mike inside and went to the secretary and demanded to see his teacher and the principal immediately. At first she refused, but Holly wouldn't back down, and so she called them both to see if they were available. They were.

By the time Holly was able to see them, Jack arrived, looking just as enraged as Holly. His face was red with anger, it looked like a vessel in his forehead was about to burst. They all went to the principal's office.

"What is the problem, Mrs. Skinner?" asked the principal.

"Mike told me that his teacher, Ms. Askins, told the entire class about his condition without consulting me, Jack, or his psychiatrist first. She didn't even ask Mike if he was okay with it, or warn him before she did it."

"I was only trying to protect the other children," said Ms. Askins.

"Protect them from what?" Jack demanded.

"I don't want anyone getting hurt or upset by his disorder, surely you can understand. Wouldn't you want to know if someone in your class had a mental disorder like his?"

"It was none of their business, and his disorder is not a threat to anyone. But even if it was, it was not your place to tell them, especially when you have little to no knowledge about it. Have you done any research on the subject?" asked Holly.

"I know enough, it seems to be a very straight-forward problem."

Holly laughed humorlessly. "In other words, you have no idea what you're talking about and you likely scared the other children and made them think Mike was some kind of freak to be avoided. Do you realize how much harder this will make it for him to make friends?"

"Even if you were as smart as you seem to think you are, it was not your place to tell those children anything, it was Mike's," said Jack. "Now everyone will judge him before they even know him. It's hard enough for the new kid to fit in, now it'll be next to impossible. He should have had time to adjust to the school and make friends before anyone was told about his disorder. Do you see what you've done?"

"The other children had a right to know," said Ms. Askins.

"I have to side with Ms. Askins," said the principle. "I feel that it's in everyone's best interest if we know what to expect from Mike. However, the subject will not be brought up in class again, understood?"

"Yes sir," said Ms. Askins.

"Don't bother, Mike won't be there," said Holly as she stood to leave. "We're pulling him out of school, and we'll teach him at home, instead. Come on, Mike."

"Mom, if it's okay with you, I think I'd rather stay."

"Mike, I'm not sure if that's such a good idea," said Jack.

"It'll be harder to make friends now, but I still want to try. If I stop coming to school, that'll make me look even weirder, and I'll never make any friends. If I stay, maybe I can prove to them that I'm not as weird as they think. I really want to make a friend, and I don't want to give up on my first day. Can I stay, please?"

Jack and Holly exchanged concerned glances, but Jack said, "If you really want to sport, you can stay."

"But if at any time you change your mind, you don't have to go to school anymore and we'll teach you at home, okay?" said Holly.

"Okay."

* * *

Over the course of the next year, despite missing out on two years of school, Mike learned quickly and easily caught up with his classmates. He should have been honored for it, but the school quietly brushed it aside. It didn't matter to Mike though, he was just happy for the opportunity to learn.

Every day he made the effort to talk to people, but no one would speak more than two sentences to him at a time, and that was if he was lucky. It made him feel awful, but he refused to give up hope. School was miserable for him, and the only thing keeping him going was the hope that one day his efforts would pay off and he would be accepted. He didn't want to be alone the rest of his life, he didn't want his disorder to dominate his life or ruin his chances of being happy, and so he wasn't ever going to stop fighting. Surely there was one person out there who wouldn't mind being around someone like him. He just had to look in the right place.


	13. Holidays

That December, they spent Christmas with Mike for the first time. Since he couldn't remember his past, in a way this was his first Christmas, and he couldn't have been more excited.

Jack let him help string up Christmas lights on the house the week after Thanksgiving. They would have normally waited longer, but Mike was too excited to wait any longer than that. He was a little embarrassed by how eager he was, the other kids at school were in the holiday spirit but not to the extent that he was. He was too old to get excited about stuff like this. He tried to tone it down, but he just couldn't, and in the end he decided that he wasn't celebrating for them, and he could get as excited as he wanted. Besides, it's not like he didn't have an excuse, this was his first Christmas with his new family, after all. His parents were just as excited as he was, this was their first Christmas with a child of their very own, and they wanted to make it very special.

On Christmas morning, Mike woke up very early but didn't want to disturb his sleeping parents, so he quietly snuck down the stairs and into the living room to sit by the Christmas tree. He turned on the lights and, in the dark, the tree was dazzling. The presents underneath it reflected the light and shone brightly. Outside the window, he could see snowflakes drifting from the sky. It was only a light snow, but it was still technically a white Christmas. He was so excited he felt like he was going to explode, but he managed to keep himself from opening his gifts before it was time.

An hour later, Jack and Holly woke up and came down the stairs. They were still groggy and bleary eyed, but when they saw the look of pure joy on Mike's face, they didn't feel sleepy anymore.

They let him open his gift first. "A new bike! This is so great, thank you so much!"

"Glad you like it, son. You'll have to try it out later and take it for a spin."

He opened the gifts from his grandparents next. Todd sent him a wooden ship with a note attached that read, _Mike, this ship was hand-carved by a man I met in Ireland. Since I can't take you on my old boat, I thought you might like this one. Have a good Christmas, hope to see you soon. –Pops._

Wendy sent him a blue woolen sweater that she had knit herself, along with a note that read, _I couldn't decide what to get you for Christmas, nothing seemed good enough. But then I remembered how skinny you are, seriously boy, turn to the side and it's like you disappear. Since you have no insulation from the cold, I thought I'd make you a sweater to keep you warm (and I don't think Vito would be very eager to come out when you're wearing this). I used to knit these for Jack and he didn't appreciate them very much, but maybe you will. In case you don't, I also sent some candy and hot chocolate, perfect for the cold winter days. Anyway, I've got to run, I'm going skiing soon and I can't be late. I can't wait for you to come visit, I'm counting the seconds. –Love, Nana._

Mike immediately put on the sweater. It was too big for him, but that just made it cozier and more comfortable. He ran upstairs to put the ship on the bedside table in his room. Every year after that, it became sort of a tradition for his grandfather to send him a souvenir from his travels and for his grandmother to knit him a new sweater.

"Open your gift next! I hope you like it."

Mike had no money to buy gifts with. Both parents had offered to pay for gifts themselves, but he didn't want to take their money from them when he had no way of paying it back. He instead decided to make them something, but he was worried they wouldn't like it.

They opened the gift, and they both gasped.

"I knew you'd hate it, I'm sorry!" said Mike, ashamed of himself.

The gift was a drawing of the three of them together as a family. He had managed to capture all their features and put them on paper. He had captured the twinkle in Jack's eye, the kindness in Holly's smile. In his own face, there seemed to be a trace of sorrow, his eyes had a haunted expression in them that would be easy to overlook. Was this the way he saw himself when he looked in the mirror? But he had a smile on his face, they all did. They all looked happy together. It was one of the best drawings they had ever seen.

"Mike, this is amazing," said Jack. "I didn't know you could draw."

Mike looked at them in shock. "You really like it?"

"This belongs in a museum, it's wonderful," said Holly. "It's the best gift anyone has ever given us. I'll find a frame for it, this is going on the wall." She hugged Mike and said, "I love you so much."

Jack joined in on the hug and said, "You're the best son a dad could ask for."

"I love you guys, too."

She got up to find a frame, and wiped away tears as she did. It was such a beautiful gift, and Mike had given it from the bottom of his heart. It meant more to her than any gift from the store.

After they hung the drawing and finished unwrapping gifts, Mike went outside to try his new bike. He rode it around the house a few times, and it was exhilarating. He had never felt so free.

For the rest of the day, they watched Christmas movies and ate sugar cookies. His personalities kept making appearances, but they didn't stay very long, and so Mike got to watch most of every movie. They mostly came out to complain about the movies and request their favorites.

When Mike could no longer keep his eyes open, he went up the stairs to bed, but not before saying quietly to himself, "I hope every Christmas is like this."

* * *

"_It's the most wonderful time of the year,"_ Mal sang. _"Yeah right."_

He could hear the others having their own Christmas celebration far off. He kept waiting for one of them to bring him a gift and try to redeem him with the power of love like in the movies. He could definitely see Mike being stupid enough to try something like that.

"_Is someone torturing a pack of cats over there?"_ he yelled as they started belting out their own rendition of _The Twelve Days of Christmas_. _"Think of the children!" _They only sang louder to get on his nerves.

He saw a half-formed alter creeping past. _"Hey you, care to tell me the true meaning of Christmas?"_

It ran away from him as fast as it could. Mal just laughed at it, but then he was left alone again with nothing to distract him from his thoughts.

Every day, Mal had to mentally try to get rid of all the memories he held that nagged and gnawed at him. It was harder at Christmas though, because Jake had had a few fond memories of his three Christmases on earth.

Mike's mother didn't do anything for Christmas, usually during this time of year she spent most of it in bed. Because of this, the winter months were the most brutal on Mike when he was a baby because it meant he was even more neglected than usual. But after he turned three, necessity taught him to take care of himself, and once he was able to take care of himself, winter wasn't so bad anymore.

He tried to celebrate Christmas on his own, going based off what he saw on TV. He hung up his socks over his bed, and he drew a picture of a Christmas tree and hung it on the wall in the living room. He would write letters to Santa, or try to anyway, and mail them. He would sing Christmas carols to himself in bed before he went to sleep, though he didn't know most of the lyrics or he got them wrong. He drew himself Christmas cards and opened them on Christmas morning.

When Jake was born, he would look for things around the house and wrap them in towels and blankets and give them to him. He did the same for Lizzie on her one and only Christmas. He told Jake about Santa Clause and his reindeer.

"Mike, we gotta put out cookies for Santa!" said Jake in one of Mal's memories.

"We don't have any. All we have are crackers, maybe he'll be okay with that."

"We have to give him something, give him the crackers!" Jake snatched the crackers out of Mike's hand and put them on a plate with some milk and put it on the table.

Mike suddenly remembered Lizzie in her cradle. Since she almost never cried, he had to remember to feed her without her telling him. His mother hadn't gotten out of bed in over a week, so five year old Mike had to be the adult and look after both his little siblings. He wasn't about to let Jake and Lizzie suffer from neglect like he had, he took it upon himself to take care of them. It was too much responsibility for a little kid, but he didn't mind. It was better this way, they didn't have to be afraid when there weren't any adults around.

Mike went to get her out of her cradle in the living room. He got her a bottle and sat down with her on the couch. She resisted the bottle at first, but Mike got her to drink.

"Will Santa bring Lizzie a gift too?" Jake asked as he sat down beside Mike. "Even though she's just a baby?"

"Of course he will, Santa brings gifts to everyone."

"What did you ask for in the letter?"

"I didn't know what to ask for. I thought about asking for a dog or a toy train, but there's so much to ask for and Santa only brings you one thing. I'm sure I'll like it, whatever it is. What did you ask for?"

"I want a bike to ride on, like the other kids have. I could go so fast on one of those things, it would be like flying."

Once she had finished her bottle, Mike took Lizzie to the sink to wash her. He hated the feeling of being dirty, and he assumed she did too.

As he gently bathed her in the warm, soapy water, he secretly worried about what he would get them for Christmas. He had no money for presents, and there was no guarantee that Santa would come. He only visited good kids, and since Mike was convinced he was a bad kid, he didn't think Santa would bring them anything. Maybe he would, but he couldn't take that chance.

Mike took Lizzie out of the bath and wrapped her in a towel. As he did, Jake used a chair to climb onto the counter to get something to eat. Mike noticed and he ran and set Lizzie down on the couch. He ran back and said, "Jake, get down from there!"

Jake lost his balance and fell on top of Mike, knocking them both down on the floor.

"You know you're not supposed to climb up on the counter, you could get hurt."

"I was hungry, and I was going to get you something too."

"Let me get stuff down from now on." Mike used the chair to climb on the counter the same way Jake had. He took down a box of cereal and poured them both a bowl. When their mother didn't buy food for a long time and they started to run low, Mike would ration the food and he would only eat every other day to make sure Jake didn't go hungry. If it got too low, he wouldn't eat at all. For now though, they had enough, so they could both eat.

While he was pouring out cereal, a prize fell out. He couldn't believe his luck; he stuffed the prize in his pocket. Before he ate his, he went back to Lizzie and dressed her, and he held her in his lap while he ate dinner. He let her eat some of his cereal but tried to keep her hands out of the bowl so she wouldn't make a mess. Mother hated messes.

"You don't think Daddy will come back home tomorrow on Christmas, do you?" Jake asked.

He had come last year, that was a terrible Christmas. Jake had only been two at the time and so he didn't remember it, at least not as well as Mike did.

"I don't know. I hope not."

"Do you… do you think he's going to start hurting Lizzie too, when she's older?" Jake asked this in barely over a whisper.

Mike eyed the bruise on Jake's cheek. It was several days old now and it was fading, but he knew it still hurt. He wished that their father would hurt him and not his little siblings, he might be a bad kid but he knew for a fact that Jake and Lizzie weren't. He hugged his baby sister closer to himself. "I'll protect her, I'll do whatever I have to do to keep her safe. But let's not think about him, let's just think about Christmas."

Once he had finished eating, they turned on the TV for a while. Mike turned on _A Christmas Carol_. He and Jake both loved the Christmas specials that came on this time of year. They sat on the floor and watched the movie. It was the Muppet version, and it made them laugh. Mike tickled Lizzie's toes while they watched, making her giggle, too.

When the movie was nearly over, Lizzie started to cry in Mike's lap, and it worried him.

"What's wrong, Lizzie?" He cradled her and rocked her to try to lull her to sleep. "It's okay Lizzie, don't cry. I'm here, you're safe, don't cry."

He sang _Rock-a-Bye-Baby _to soothe her. Jake knew he was supposed to stay quiet when he was putting her to sleep. During the commercial break, he admired the picture of the Christmas tree Mike had drawn. He also thought about what else he wanted for Christmas.

Lizzie stopped crying and fell fast asleep. Mike put her back in her cradle and rejoined Jake to finish the last of the movie. Once it was over, he had to get Jake into bed.

"I don't wanna go, I'm not sleepy," he said as he rubbed his eyes.

"Santa can't come inside and leave presents if anyone's awake. You want a present, don't you?"

"Yes! I'll go to sleep, I'll go to sleep right now!" Jake ran up the stairs and Mike ran after him.

"Goodnight, little brother," said Mike as he tucked him in under the covers. He then climbed in his own bed.

"Good night, big brother."

Mike waited until Jake was asleep, and then he snuck out of their room to prepare. He took out the last sugar cookie he had been saving just for this occasion, he would give it to Jake and Lizzie tomorrow for a special treat. There was no snow outside, and so he cut up some paper to look like snow, and he drew a snowman and hung it on the door. He took some lightbulbs that he had painted red and green days earlier and replaced the lightbulbs in the kitchen and living room. Lastly, he took out the cereal box prize and wrapped it in a mitten. He took some paper and folded it into a flower for Lizzie and wrapped it up for her, and he drew himself some pictures and put them in an envelope for himself and put them all under the Christmas tree drawing. Satisfied, he went back to bed. Caring for his little siblings always left him exhausted at the end of the day, but he was so excited that it didn't matter.

Jake woke him up in the middle of the night and said, "Mike, I had a nightmare. Can I sleep in your bed?"

"Sure Jake," said Mike groggily. He moved over to make enough space for the two of them. "You know, you sleep in my bed a lot. From now on, you don't have to ask anymore, just get in, and that way you don't have to wake me up."

"Thanks, Mike."

Mike soon fell back asleep, but it only felt like a minute passed before Jake woke him up again.

"Mike, Mike wake up! Santa was here, he came to our house, and he left us presents!" It took him a few seconds to remember what day it was, but once he did he eagerly got out of bed. Jake jumped on his back and he carried him downstairs. He ran to Lizzie's cradle and picked her up and carried them both to the tree drawing. Jake marveled at the decorations, to him they were amazing.

Mike worried that Jake would be disappointed that he couldn't get him a bike. But when Jake found his gift and opened it, he gasped and said, "An airplane! I always wanted one, now I really can fly!"

Jake ran all through the house making his plane fly. Mike was so happy and relieved that he liked his gift. He took out Lizzie's gift and unwrapped it for her. She held onto the flower in her tiny hand and sucked her thumb.

"Maybe someday I'll be able to get you a real present," he whispered to her.

He took his own gift next and opened it. He had drawn a train, a dog, and several other things that he wanted. But his favorite was a drawing of him, Jake, and Lizzie together. Jake had the bike he wanted, and they were standing next to a real Christmas tree. He was going to hang this up by his bed.

The memory ended, and Mal wished he could just forget it all. As far as he was concerned he had always been Mal. Still, those old memories gnawed at him, just as the half-formed alters gnawed away at Mike during his anxiety attacks. They didn't hurt him, he just didn't like the baggage. He hated having that weakness, it was the only chink in his armor. If the others ever did find out he wouldn't let them use it against him, but the fact that it existed at all and he couldn't get rid of it was maddening.

The memory amused Mal nonetheless, and he laughed at it. Mike had no idea the two siblings he loved so much would never see another Christmas. What would he have done if he had known? More than once Mike had considered running away with them, but he never did because he knew he wouldn't be able to take care of them on his own. But if he had known they were going to die anyway, would he have taken the chance? Things might have improved if he had. Someone might have found them and taken them in, they all might have found a loving home. Jake and Lizzie could have grown up, Mike would never have lost his mind, and they all could have stayed a family.

If the police had ever actually bothered to do more than a once-over of the house, they might have prevented all this from ever happening in the first place. If his mother had killed him as well, they wouldn't even be here. If Mal hadn't lost his control over the mind, where would they be right now? Would they still be in the asylum, or would he have escaped and moved on by now? He had to wonder how different Mike's life would be if Jake and Lizzie had never died in the first place.

"_So many ways Mike's life could have gone, so many different paths…"_ he mused.

The others started belting out _Joy to the World. "I am going to strangle each and every one of you!"_

He really needed to kill something, but there was no one in reach. He covered his ears against the other's singing and he had to settle for imagining their slow and painful deaths. It just wasn't the same.

* * *

They didn't know Mike's date of birth, and so they celebrated his eleventh birthday on the anniversary of the day they adopted him. After opening gifts and having cake, they took him to the zoo.

"Wow, a lion!" Mike exclaimed. "And over there are gorillas! I never thought I'd get to see them in real life!"

Every exhibit excited Mike, he had trouble leaving each one. Though Jack and Holly had been to the zoo many times in their lives and they had seen all it had to offer, Mike's excitement was contagious and they got excited right along with him.

The trip went well, until they went into the gift shop. They were going to get Mike a little souvenir.

"Hey Mike, look at this fedora," said Jack. "Bet you'd look real sharp in one."

He put it on his son's head, and then turned his back for just a second. When he turned back around, Mike wasn't there.

_He probably wanted to show Holly,_ he thought to himself. She was in another part of the store, he'd catch up with them after he finished looking at the hats.

Holly came over and caught him looking at hats. "Don't you have enough hats at home?" she asked.

"You can never have too many hats. Did Mike like the fedora?"

"What fedora?"

"Didn't he show you?"

"I thought he was with you."

"Oh no," they said in unison.

They immediately left the gift shop and split up to search for Mike. They each took one half of the zoo to look through. With every passing second that they couldn't find him, they both became more panicked.

Jack found him first, but he found him in the worst place possible: in the crocodile habitat.

"Mike!" he called out to him. "Mike, get out of there!"

Mike was petting the crocodile affectionately.

"You are a lovely sheila, aren't ya? Just beautiful. You poor thing, they have you listed on the sign as male, no one knows you're female! I'd be angry too if someone made a mistake about my gender. It was so rude of them to just assume you were a bloke without even botherin' to check!"

He kissed her head and then moved on to the next habitat, which was the kangaroos. By the time Jack caught up, he had already moved on again to the lion's den. Mike was slowly approaching the lion. It eyed him and gave a warning growl.

"Easy now big fella, I'm not here to hurt you. What a fine coat of fur you've got, and what a regal mane. Truly you are the king of the beasts."

He pet its fur, but pulled back in time so that it couldn't sink its teeth into his arm. By now there was a crowd forming, and people were snapping pictures and recording the boy petting the animals. The guards were notified of what was going on, but when they went to get him out, he had already left.

Jack saw him go, but he wasn't sure where he had gone. He found him again with the monkeys. He was hanging in the trees with them, talking to them like he had the lion. He quickly moved on and left the monkey pen, and Jack chased him to the tiger habitat.

_Is he trying to get himself killed?_ He wondered. He could see more zoo guards on their way to stop him, he had to get to him first.

Jack climbed over the fence into the tiger pen, being careful to not make a sound. There was more than one tiger, and he was afraid one of them would attack him, but he couldn't leave him in there. Two were already setting their sights on Mike, while a third was sizing up Jack with its teeth bared. He saw a hammock hanging right above him, and he snuck up to it. When Mike moved under it, he released it and caught him in it like a net. Mike struggled as he tied it and carried him out of the pen over his shoulder. He didn't wait for Holly and immediately left the zoo as everyone stared at him. He called her cellphone to let her know he had him. He didn't let Mike out until they were in the car.

"That was way outta line, ya wily dingo!"

"I had to get you out of there before those tigers had you for a snack."

"You're scared of tigers? I've seen scarier opossums."

"I'm sure you have. You're Manitoba Smith, right?"

An arrogant grin crossed his face. "Manitoba Smith, treasure hunter and survival expert extraordinaire. And you're Mike's new dad. Do you normally trap him in a net and carry him around like that? That's some grade-A parenting going on here."

"Actually, that was the first time I've had to resort to that. Like I said, those tigers looked ferocious. Stay away from wild animals."

"Mike might have to listen to you since you're his dad, but I don't take orders from anyone. You know, his last father ran me down with his car, so you'll understand if I'm not too chummy with you."

"His last father? Manitoba, what can you tell me about Mike's past?"

"That is none of your business, dingo. All you need to know is that there isn't anything that can take down the great Manitoba Smith, especially tigers."

Jack sighed and took off the fedora. Mike instantly came back. When Holly came to the car, he told her and Mike what had happened.

"I can't believe you went into the tiger habitat just to get me out! You're so brave, Dad."

"Those tigers weren't as tough as their reputation would have you believe, but I'd appreciate it if Manitoba would put a lot of space between him and them from now on. He can play with the penguins if he wants, I've never heard of anyone being mauled to death by one of them."

"Manitoba would never agree to that, he only tackles the meanest animals, but maybe he'll be satisfied for a while. I hope he is, anyway."

"But what did you think of the zoo, Mike?" asked Holly. "Before the tiger incident."

"I loved it! Can we go to the aquarium next?"

Jack and Holly both pictured Manitoba in their minds swimming in the shark tank.

"We'll think about it," they said in unison.

* * *

One Saturday in the fall, Jack came and woke up Mike early.

"Mike, Mike wake up, I need your help," he whispered.

Mike woke up and yawned. He groggily said, "What is it, Dad?"

"I know it's a Saturday, your day to sleep in and do Mike things, but I was wondering if you'd like to help me pick out a gift for the boss."

"Why are you getting a gift for your boss at the diner? Is it his birthday?"

"Not that boss, I mean the real one. It's mine and your mother's wedding anniversary today."

"Anniversary? But-"

"Yeah, and I don't have a gift yet."

"Why'd you wait so long?"

"Because I just remembered last night. It's a good thing I remembered at all. Once, a few years after we were married, I forgot our anniversary. Just remember Mike, for when you get married someday: Don't forget the wedding anniversary. It was not an experience I want to repeat."

"What did she do to you?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing. She ignored me all day and gave me the cold shoulder and let me tear myself up over it. I asked her to just yell at me and get it over with. She told me to go upstairs and wait on the bed, and I awaited my final judgment. I stayed up all night waiting for her in dread, but she never came up, she fell asleep on the couch. It was awful."

Mike chuckled, and Jack said, "Don't laugh at me, it might be you someday. So, will you help me? You should know, it says in the child instruction manual that it's the kid's job to assist the father in trying times like these, it's the only reason men become fathers."

"Yay, I have purpose. And I know a little about fatherhood. Just let me get dressed and I'll go."

"We'll go out for breakfast. Be very sneaky, don't say a word to your mother. If she asks, tell her I'm taking you out to see A Bug's Life 2."

"That movie doesn't exist."

"She doesn't give a rip about animated movies, so she won't know that."

Mike got dressed and took his medication, and then came down the stairs.

"Morning Mike!" said Holly. "You're up early for a Saturday. Are you hungry yet?"

"Actually, I'm going to get breakfast in town with dad this morning. He's taking me to see a movie."

"Really? But they don't show movies in the morning."

"We're going to the arcade at the mall first."

"Oh, that sounds like fun, I'll join you."

"No!" said Mike too loudly. "I mean, um, it's just supposed to be a guy thing today, no girls allowed."

"Oh, okay, you boys have fun." He could tell Holly suspected something, but as long as he didn't blow their cover they were good.

Jack came down the stairs and said, "All right Mike, let's move out!"

They got in the car, and he was adjusting the radio, Jack said, "Does she suspect anything?"

"Of course she does, she's smart. But I don't think she's on to us."

"Then we're doing good, for now anyway."

He put it on a rap station. Neither of them liked rap, but Vito did. They took turns on which music genre they listened to each time Mike was in the car, and it was Vito's turn today. The music might be annoying sometimes, but it did usually make car rides go smoother.

"So, what do you have in mind for her present?"

"Um… I've been toying with a few ideas, but I was hoping she might have dropped a hint or two to her favorite son."

"She did mention a few days ago how much she likes her rings. But what about her bir-"

"Whenever she brings up her rings I do my Gollum impression, which she doesn't really appreciate. But rings it is! There's a jewelry store in the mall, we'll go there."

They went to a Waffle House for breakfast first. They both got chocolate chip waffles, Mike's favorite. Once they had finished they made it to the mall and went to the jewelry store.

"Now, we can't go too extravagant, but let's find something simple and elegant."

"So, what are you doing for her bir-" Svetlana suddenly came out and exclaimed over the jewelry. "Ooh, look at all ze pretty jewels! Svetlana vould look stunning in zem!"

Jack realized that this could be a good thing. When it came to buying gifts for a woman, having a woman's opinion was worth more than his and Mike's combined. "Svetlana, which of these rings do you think Holly would like the most?"

"Zis one!" she pointed at a very big, very expensive diamond ring.

"That one's nice, but I was thinking we'd go smaller."

She gasped, and Manitoba took her place. "You don't want that one, Jackalope. That's fool's gold. It's a fake."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Surer than I've ever been about anything, it's a scam. In fact, this one's a fake, and this one, and this one…"

He went through pointing out all the fakes. Jack said, "Keep your voice down, Manitoba. You might get us thrown out of the store."

"I'm savin' your tail here. You come home with fake jewels for your sheila, you'd be safer prickin' your thumb and going diving in a shark tank."

"Hey, you say these are fakes?" said a guy behind them. "What about these earrings in this case?"

Manitoba took a look and said, "Sorry mate, fool's gold."

"I bought earrings like this for my girlfriend a few days ago, I paid full price for fakes? I'm talking to the manager!"

"See, I'm doin' the world a favor. Don't you want to right this injustice?"

"I'm just trying to get a gift for my wife, not start a revolution. Are any of these real?"

Manitoba scanned the cases. "That ring, those earrings, that necklace, and this other necklace are real."

"Really? An entire jewelry store and only four items are real?"

"Hold on, I missed one. That brooch is real, too."

"Thanks Manitoba, I appreciate it."

Mike came back and said, "What was I saying?"

"According to Manitoba, only one ring in here is the real deal. Take a look at it, what do you think?"

Mike looked at the one he showed him. The ring was very simple, with a small blue sapphire in the middle with two smaller diamonds on the sides.

"It's beautiful, it would match her eyes perfectly."

It just happened to be in Jack's price range. They bought it and then went to the arcade to play for a while.

"Since I stopped you from sleeping in late, you get to kill some brain cells in here," said Jack as he handed him a few rolls of quarters. "Saturdays were invented to kill the brain cells gained during the school week, and I'm not about to deprive you of that right."

"I'll kill as many as possible."

"Good boy, that's what I like to hear," he said as he mussed his hair.

Jack mostly watched Mike play, but he played a few games of Galaga while he was there. They also played a few rounds of air hockey.

"We'd better go home now, sport. Your mom's probably at work by now, let's go home and fix something nice for dinner."

They went home and started working on dinner. They were to have steak by candlelight, and they were both very excited about it.

When Holly came in, they shouted, "Surprise!"

She smiled, and Mike hugged her. "We got you something, I think you'll like it."

"I had a feeling you weren't going to a movie."

"Happy anniversary, honey," said Jack.

She gave him a funny look. "Anniversary? Jack, that's in the spring, today's my birthday."

Comprehension dawned on his face and he smacked his forehead. "Birthday! I knew it was something!"

"You remember how we celebrated our last anniversary. We had dinner at home, and Mike was our waiter. He drew on a moustache and spoke in a French accent."

"Well, I remember now!" He said as he started banging his head into the wall. Mike and Holly tried hard not to laugh. "Mike, why didn't you stop me from making a complete fool of myself?"

"I tried to ask a couple times. I thought it was weird, but I didn't want to argue. I figured you had something planned for her birthday, too."

"Mike, the next time you see me screwing up this tremendously, you need to stop me. I'm counting on you, do whatever you have to do to spare me my dignity. Slap me if you have to, you should know by now my brain only works at half capacity."

"Well, at least you remembered that today is a holiday, just the wrong one," said Mike, grinning. "That's the important thing."

"Let me see my present," said Holly. Jack showed her the ring.

"Oh, it's beautiful. I forgive you for mixing up holidays," she said as she kissed his cheek. "Thank you both so much. It's still a good birthday present, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait a little longer for our anniversary."

"You're never going to let me live this down, are you?"

"Mike probably will, I don't think I can," she said with a laugh.

"Happy birthday, Mom. We'll make you a cake tomorrow."

"I can't wait."

"I'll be sure to write on it, 'Happy not anniversary.'"


	14. The Lake

Mike was often beat up at school, no matter how hard he tried to be invisible around the bullies. No matter how many times Jack and Holly reported it to the school, nothing was ever done about it. It didn't stop until one day when Vito was sick of it and fought back for Mike, and beat them all to a pulp. After that they didn't beat on him anymore, but they still pranked him, or intentionally triggered his alters to humiliate him. He still refused to quit, even though no one would give him a break.

It was the worst during gym class. Mike had no memories of it, because Vito or Svetlana always came out. If they were playing sports, Vito took over. He wasn't the best on the team, but he often led them to victory. You'd think this would make him more popular, but it only made him look weirder to them. It wasn't as bad as when Svetlana came out, when they were doing gymnastics or running track. That gave them more ammo for insults than they needed.

Chester came out whenever Mike got frustrated in his school work. He often missed important parts of lectures as a result, but his grades didn't suffer too much from it. The thing that messed with his grades the most was when his personalities would skip school entirely. This didn't happen too often, but it happened enough to keep him off the honor roll.

One day, when Holly came to pick him up from school, she didn't know that Manitoba had been in control all day. It became apparent that it was him when he got in the car.

"Hey Mike, how was school?" she asked him. "Buckle your seatbelt, dear."

He didn't buckle up, and he said, "Try again, Shelia. But I had a great day, thanks for asking."

"Oh, Manitoba." She only made a half-hearted attempt to cover up her disappointment. He wasn't wearing a hat, so she wouldn't be able to bring Mike back anytime soon.

"Try to contain your joy there, Sheila. I'll have you know I'm much more fun than Mike. He doesn't know the first thing about treasure hunting."

Holly noticed a spider crawling on the dashboard. She shivered and tried to ignore it, she hated spiders and bugs. But then she noticed more spiders and other insects crawling on the seats, and her eyes widened.

"What on earth…"

She felt something run over her foot on the gas pedal, and she felt something slithering up her arm. She looked down and saw a snake in her lap, and she screamed and panicked. She swerved and almost hit a telephone pole.

"Hey, watch it Sheila! Where'd you learn to drive?"

Holly pulled into the parking lot of a pharmacy and got out of that car as fast as she could. She screamed and knocked away the snake. Bugs were crawling all over her, and she frantically tried to brush them off. Two mice jumped out of the car and scurried off.

Manitoba got out of the car and picked up the snake and put it around his neck. In his hand he held a frog, and he was petting it. "What's the deal, kookaburra? You're not scared of snakes and insects and spiders, are ya?"

"What do you think?!" she yelled at him. "Where did they all come from?"

"I collected them today! Those classes bore me, they don't teach anything useful, like how to find fresh water in the wild or cut your own arm off in a pinch. I took the day for myself and found all these critters in the woods. I was keeping them in Mike's backpack and in my pockets, but they must have escaped. They're so intelligent," he said affectionately.

"Now my car is infested! I can't drive a car with all those things crawling all over me!"

"That's fine, I'll drive. Mike may be just an ankle biter, but I'm much older. Driving will be a cinch."

"Even if you do have experience driving, if the police pull us over they're not going to believe you're an adult, and I would go to prison."

"Only if we get caught."

"I'm not taking that risk. Get all those things out of my car, now!" she yelled. She didn't often lose her temper like this, but she really did not like creepy crawly things at all. Mike's personalities just had a way of getting under her skin sometimes that made her want to punch something, Manitoba in particular, because he took the most risks and was always doing things like this.

"Leave it to a woman to get all riled up over a few critters," he muttered. He got out all the creatures he could, but he couldn't find them all.

"I swear I had more than this, I think some of them have taken up permanent residence in your vents. They're all harmless though, this snake is sweeter than a newborn baby. Well, except for the spider, it bit me a few minutes ago and I'm starting to get woozy."

"Was it a black widow?"

"Maybe."

"And it's running free in my car?"

"It's her car now."

"I left my cellphone at home, I can't call 911. I'll have to drive you to the hospital with those things in my car."

"Might want to make it snappy there, Sheila. It's getting pretty hard to breathe," he wheezed.

"The things I do for love," Holly groaned as she kicked the car tire. "If you weren't already dying I would kill you."

They got back in and she drove off, going against every instinct telling her to ditch the car and never look back. Manitoba was completely calm during the entire drive, as though possibly dying was just an inconvenience. He kept up a one-sided conversation until he passed out and slumped over in his seat. Holly was too worked up over the possibility of a poisonous spider crawling onto her face at any moment to notice.

She got him to the hospital quickly and they gave him anti-venom. Holly couldn't sit down, not because of Manitoba being bitten, but because she could still feel the bugs and the snake crawling on her skin.

Mike made a full recovery, and he got to leave the hospital the same day. Holly made Jack drive the car home, and he later set off a bug bomb inside it to kill off the rest of the insects and the black widow inside. No matter how many they set off though, bugs kept crawling around. She wouldn't drive the car anymore, so they had to sell it and buy another one.

From that point on, Manitoba wasn't allowed to ride in the car until he had emptied his pockets and backpack and undergone a pat-down. It took Holly a long time after that to get rid of her new phobia of spiders and snakes crawling on her in the car.

* * *

Manitoba wasn't the only one who put Mike in danger.

One night, Jack woke up and went down to the kitchen for a midnight snack. He opened the fridge, but noticed the kitchen door slightly ajar. He was sure he had closed and locked it earlier, but he concluded that he must have been mistaken. He went to close it, but he saw Mike sitting on the steps, his shirt off and a cigarette in his mouth.

Jack didn't approve of smoking at any age, especially not the ripe old age of eleven. How had he even gotten his hands on them in the first place? He was about to yell at Vito to get that thing out of his mouth, but he stopped himself. Vito would never listen to him if he used that approach. If he yelled at him or tried to force him to stop, it would only make him smoke double what he was smoking now out of spite. He had to be clever about this.

"Mind if I sit here?" he asked as he went outside.

"Get lost, Jack," said Vito, not bothering to look at him.

"Well, I'm sitting anyway," said Jack as he sat down next to him. Vito ignored him.

"How long have you been smoking?"

"None of your business. This isn't my first pack, though."

"You know, smoking is very bad for your health, especially at your age."

"I'm not a kid, thank you very much."

"Well, Mike is, and that's his body you're using right now. You're damaging his lungs by smoking."

"I live for today."

"Mike will have to live with the consequences of your actions."

"Mike can get over it."

"And if you damage your lungs, working out will become a lot harder. How are you going to build and show off your muscles if you can't even catch your breath?"

Vito hesitated for a second, but then drew in more smoke.

"What's your ideal girlfriend, Vito?"

This was so unexpected and out of nowhere that Vito actually turned to look at him. "Pardon?"

"You heard me. What do you look for in a girl? Come on, I'm curious."

This was a conversation Vito didn't really want to have with Jack, but he did like talking about girls. "Blonde, well-endowed, tanned. I'm not too picky on the hair, but the other two are a must. I won't date a girl who looks like a corpse."

"That's what I expected. You want girls like that to like you back, right?"

"I'm Vito, what's not to like?"

"Well, most girls don't find smoking attractive, not since we found out it's bad for your lungs, anyway. Not to mention, you'll smell like an ashtray. Holly says she wouldn't ever date a guy who smelled bad, not even if he was the hottest guy on earth. You might not like her, but I think most girls are in agreement. If you keep smoking, girls aren't going to want to be around you."

Vito said nothing. He just blew out another puff of smoke.

"But you know what girls do find attractive? Guys who are talented. Even if you are hot, guitar, painting, cooking, and other skills like those are just icing on the cake. What skills do you have, Vito?"

Vito puffed himself up proudly. "I'm better at dancing than all the other losers, I'm hotter than any other guy around, and I can surf any wave."

"We don't have any beaches around here, how are you at skateboarding?"

He was about to answer, but then he stopped. He seemed to deflate a little. "I've never rode a skateboard, but I know I'd be awesome at it."

"How about we make a deal. If you promise to give up smoking for good, I'll buy you a skateboard of your very own and you can teach yourself to ride it. You can pick anyone you like, but if I catch you smoking again, I'll take it away and you'll never see it again. What do you say?"

Vito thought it over for a moment as he breathed in more smoke. He was very conflicted, and didn't know what he should choose. Finally, he said, "Anyone I want?"

"We can go to the mall tomorrow and pick one out."

"I can't smoke anymore? Not ever?"

"Don't you think it would be a worthwhile trade?"

"Fine, you got a deal," he said grudgingly. "But I'm gonna finish this pack."

"You can finish the one you've got. The rest go in the trash."

"But this one's almost gone!"

"You'd better savor it, then."

Vito let out a huff and finished the cigarette. He grudgingly gave Jack the rest and he threw them away.

"Are you sure skateboarding will bring in the chicks?"

"You're going to be the next Tony Hawk, I can see it now."

The next morning, Vito got up early to go to the mall. He agreed to put a shirt on so he would be allowed in the store. He had to fight to keep Mike from coming back. Jack drove him to the mall, and he took a long time in picking which skateboard he wanted. He eventually chose a black one with red flames, and even though it was the most expensive one in the store, it was worth it to Jack for Mike's health. He also bought him a helmet, knowing full well that he would never use it. Vito stubbornly kept up an indifferent expression despite his excitement.

Vito immediately took it out and started teaching himself to ride. He had several mishaps at first, resulting in scrapes and bruises, but he quickly got the hang of it and became very adept at it. He learned to do all kinds of stunts, several of them dangerous. Jack worried that maybe it was a mistake to get him into skateboarding, but he figured a few potential broken bones were better than lung cancer. Plus, his personalities were always doing dangerous things, so this was nothing new.

For a few weeks afterward, Mike experienced symptoms of withdrawal. Jack explained to him before they started what had been going on and how he had bribed Vito into quitting. He explained to him that his body was going to go into withdrawal and the symptoms it would bring so that he wouldn't worry once it started. They didn't know how long Vito had been smoking or how many cigarettes he smoked at a time. Mike was young and small, so the nicotine withdrawal affected him strongly. His symptoms weren't severe, but they were still difficult.

He couldn't sleep more than a couple hours each night, and he had bad headaches and cravings for more nicotine. It was very stressful for him, but he stayed strong and never asked for cigarettes, even though he really wanted to. His parents took turns sitting up with him at night and distracting him from the cravings. Jack broke out his old collection of Marvel comics for him to read.

"This guy here, that's Iron Man. He doesn't have any superpowers, but he's a genius and he built a power suit of armor," said Jack. Mike had never seen any comic books superheroes before, and so he was telling him about them. It was three in the morning, but talking about comic book heroes kept Jack wide awake, he'd loved them when he was a kid, and he still did.

"Who's the green guy?" Mike yawned. He was so tired, but these heroes excited him.

"That's the Incredible Hulk. He started out as a normal guy, a scientist named Bruce Banner, but an accident with gamma radiation makes him transform into the Hulk when he's angry."

"Like how Chester comes out when I'm frustrated?"

"Kind of, yeah."

"Who's the guy with the hammer?"

"That's Thor, god of thunder. He comes from Asgard, and that hammer is no ordinary hammer. It's Mjolnir, Thor's mighty weapon. These three and others are part of the Avengers, some of my favorite comic book heroes."

"Can I read all the comics in your collection?"

"They've been in storage for years, it's about time someone took them out and enjoyed them."

Mike read the comics when he couldn't sleep, and it helped him forget the powerful cravings. He admired all the heroes in those comics, and he wished he could be like them. He especially looked up to the Hulk, who was able to use his curse to do good and help people. He was still a hero, and he had friends and people who cared about him.

It was a huge relief to them all when his body finally recovered. By the time he recovered, he had read through all Jack's comics, and he loved them so much he went back and started reading them again.

* * *

During spring break, Mike went to visit his grandfather. He lived in a log cabin by a lake, with a garden out front. Todd had come to pick him up, and they were just now arriving at his house.

"I like your house," Mike commented as he was getting out. He carried his suitcase inside.

"I built it for my wife when we were first married, and it still holds up," he said as he followed him inside the door. "You'll be staying in Holly's old room, but I have to warn you, she was a big fan of several bands when she was a teenager, and she expressed it in her room. You'll see what I'm talking about. She was going through a phase."

Mike found her room, and found that Todd wasn't kidding. Every inch of space on the walls was covered with posters of Queen, The Rolling Stones, and AC/DC. He knew she was a fan of rock music, but he didn't know she had liked it this much. He listened to her music with her sometimes and enjoyed it, but if he did for too long Chester would often come out to complain about it. He knew sometimes she would play it when Chester was getting on her nerves just to irritate him, but she didn't do it much. It was weird to be surrounded by so many faces, but it didn't bother him. He thought it was cool and a little surreal to see this part of who his mother was.

After he finished unpacking, he went back into the kitchen where Todd was waiting for him. "We're going out for dinner, you get to pick the place."

"Um, maybe we should eat here." He didn't want to risk his personalities coming out and embarrassing his grandfather.

"I'm a terrible cook, so to keep from starving we'll have to eat out. Burgers okay with you?"

"Sure, that sounds good."

They drove to a burger joint and went inside to eat. As soon as he had finished ordering, he felt Vito trying to force himself out.

"Excuse me," said Mike as he took off running for the restroom. There were a lot of other people and he had to navigate through them without knocking anyone over. He had to get a handle on his alters, he didn't want to mess everything up.

He made it to the restroom and stood in front of the mirror. He pinched himself and scrunched up his eyes, fighting a battle of wills with Vito. There had been some girls in line, if he got out he would hit on every single one of them and get him and Todd thrown out, like when he had cost Jack his job.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" said a six year old boy as he exited one of the stalls. "Did something break in your brain?"

This was just fantastic, now he would have to explain to this kid why he was acting this way, and that was if Vito didn't take over.

"Mike, thank goodness I found you," said Todd. He hadn't even heard him come in. "Are you transforming?"

_Transforming? That's a weird word for it_, Mike thought.

"What do you mean, transforming?" asked the kid.

"It's a good thing I came when I did, you don't want to be around Mike when he transforms. He gets all big and green, and he destroys whatever is in his path."

"You mean he's like the Hulk?"

"That's right, so you'd better get out of here, kid. I don't know if he can keep it in much longer."

At that moment, Vito hit even harder, making Mike groan with the exertion of keeping him back. The kid ran out of the bathroom yelling, "Mom!"

Once they were alone, Todd came over and put his hands on Mike's shoulders. "You gonna be all right, Mike?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute." He finally won and kept Vito from coming out, and he could relax. "My head hurts, but at least I kept Vito away."

"Here, take this for the headache, I get them all the time," said Todd. He handed him a pill to take, and then they left the bathroom to go find a table. Todd went to get their food and then sat down with him.

"Thanks for covering for me back there," said Mike as he unwrapped his burger.

"Anytime. That was fun, actually, we should do that more often."

"Next time you be the Hulk," said Mike, grinning.

"No, I'm Black Widow, silly."

Mike's headache soon went away and he was able to enjoy his burger and fries. As they were leaving, the boy pulled over his mother and said, "That's him, that's the kid I told you about!"

"I'm so sorry he's bothering you," said his mother, looking embarrassed. "He thinks you're the Hulk."

"Kid, I'm not the Hulk," said Mike. "I'm actually Spiderman."

The kid gasped. Todd winked at Mike and they left to go back to his house.

The second day he was there, it was raining too much to go outside, so they stayed inside and watched Todd's old western movies. Mike wasn't a big fan of westerns, but he did like the action scenes. Todd was a smoker, but whenever he smoked he would go out on the porch, away from Mike, so as not to tempt Vito.

The third day, the rain stopped and the sun was shining, and so they spent the day at the lake. Mike couldn't swim, so Todd taught him how. He was very reluctant to get in the water.

"I'm going to sink like a rock," he said from the shore, afraid to even get his toes wet. Todd was already doing backstrokes.

"Please, you're a twig, twigs float."

"I don't."

"You know, my grandpa threw me in this very same lake to teach me to swim."

"Don't throw me in the lake!"

"I probably won't, but you're going to learn, one way or another. Swimming is important, and it's a lot of fun, too. Come on Spidey, are you a chicken?" Spidey was his new nickname for him after the fast food incident.

"I might be a chicken, but I'm a live chicken."

"You don't want your grandpa to be better at swimming than you, do you? Think how embarrassing it would be if that got out."

"I have personalities that come out and embarrass me every day, I'll live."

"Mike, I promise I'm not going to let you sink. You're going to have to trust me on this, otherwise we're going to get absolutely nowhere. Will you trust me?"

"Okay," said Mike as he took a tentative step into the water. He kept going until the water was up to his waist. At least the water wasn't too cold.

"Now, first I'm going to teach you to float on your back. If you ever get tired, or if you get a cramp, you can float until you're ready to swim again."

He had Mike lie down in the water, and he showed him how to relax his body and just let the water carry him. It was very difficult for him at first, but once he realized he wasn't sinking, he wasn't so afraid. The rest of Todd's lessons went more smoothly than the first, and by the end of the day Mike was swimming on his own without help from Todd.

"This is so much fun!" said Mike.

"I told you!" said Todd. "Tomorrow we'll work on swimming underwater."

"Underwater?" Mike wasn't so sure about that.

"Trust, Mike."

"I trust you."

The next day, Mike put up less resistance to swimming underwater, and he soon caught the hang of it. Every day for the rest of the week, Todd helped him improve, and they raced each other through the water. There was a tire swing hanging from a tree that Holly used to swing on when she was younger, and so he got to swing off it into the lake. Mike no longer feared the water, he forgot why he had ever been scared in the first place. Every day he had to force himself to leave the lake.

On the last night of his stay, they had a campfire outside the house. They were making s'mores, though Mike was going freestyle by skipping the crackers and sandwiching pieces of chocolate between two marshmallows. Todd had been telling Mike the scariest stories he'd ever heard, and though he was freaked out, he didn't want him to stop.

"That's enough for one night, if I tell too many I'll start summoning ghosts and werewolves to our fire."

Mike shivered; nevermind that those things weren't real, campfires had a way of making everything a thousand times creepier.

There was a pause, then Mike said, "It's so cool to be staying in Mom's old room, it's hard to believe she was ever my age."

"It's even harder for me to believe she grew up. I'm very proud of her, but I do miss her. I'm glad she's got you now, I can see how happy she is with you. She always wanted kids, and when she found out she couldn't have any of her own it devastated her."

"I didn't know she couldn't have kids, I just thought they preferred to adopt."

"I thought it was Jack's fault at first, wouldn't have surprised me, really. But no, she was the one who was barren. They tried for five years before they went to see a doctor, and he gave them the bad news. When they found out, it almost killed their marriage. It was a tough time for both of them, being unable to conceive is hard for most people to accept. They came very close to separating, but they were able to work things out. They started taking in foster kids not long after that."

If they had split up, they never would have adopted him. He wondered what would have become of him if they hadn't taken him in. But more than that, he was glad they stayed together because they seemed so happy together. They argued sometimes, but they always made up. They could always make the other laugh.

"Do you not like my dad?" asked Mike. From what he'd heard from his parents, neither grandparent liked their in-laws.

"It was bad enough I had to give my daughter away, but I would have preferred a doctor or a lawyer, at least. Jack isn't really what I had in mind. She dated a lot of guys, one of them she only dated to make Jack jealous, he showed promise."

"Who was he?"

"I don't remember his name, it started with a V, though. But that's not the real reason, I pretend it is but it's not. The real reason is that the year they got married is the same year my wife died. She had lymphoma, you see. We tried to fight it, but she just kept getting worse and worse. I denied it the entire time, I kept telling her she was going to get better, but it was a lost battle. Holly had already announced her engagement to Jack before it started, but they knew she wouldn't make it to the wedding, so they brought in a pastor and did the ceremony in front of her hospital bed, and it made her so happy. She died a few weeks later. I always resented Jack after that, because I had to lose my wife and my daughter at the same time, it just felt like theft. I'm not really angry at him anymore, but I've been holding this grudge for so long, why stop now?"

"It would make Mom happy if you could," said Mike gently. "Your wife probably would have wanted everyone to get along. She wouldn't want to see you so sad."

"You're wise for your years, Mike. Maybe I will someday, no promises. But I know she would have loved you. I can see bits and pieces of her in you, sometimes I forget you're adopted. You're both shy and gentle, but you're fighters, too. She fought cancer with everything in her, and I saw the way you were fighting Vito before. I wish she could have met you, she really wanted grandkids."

"Me too. But at least I've got a great grandpa."

"You sure do," he said with a smile.

The next morning, Todd drove Mike back home. As he was leaving, Mike said, "See ya, Pops."

"See ya, Spidey."

"Spidey?" said Jack.

"Inside joke," Mike replied, grinning.


	15. Broken Glass

That same year, Mike spent the summer with his nana, where he celebrated his twelfth birthday. She lived in a cottage by the sea.

"I used to live in the old orphanage where we kept the children, but now that house is empty. With no kids running around in it, it's too big for little old me, so I moved to this smaller one," said Wendy as she showed him around her house. It was a very beautiful house, made of stone and decorated with seashells. She talked about it like it was tiny, but it was bigger than the one he lived in.

"Why don't you run the orphanage anymore?"

"Everyone thinks I'm too old to be working, and maybe they're right, I'm so old I don't even know how old I am anymore. I do miss it though. My little orphans come see me every now and again, and that's always nice. Even nicer now that I have company," she said with a smile.

Mike's room had a window that let him look out at the coastline. His room was painted in a soft shade of blue, like the sky.

Every day, Wendy would show him different crafts to make, like she had with the origami when she had first met him. She loved making things, and she passed on that love to him.

"I notice you get anxious sometimes. Nothing helps with that more than doing something with your hands. If your hands are busy, you're too busy to think about whatever was worrying you. It's probably why you like drawing, it relaxes you."

This proved to be true, the more he did with his hands the calmer he felt. He showed her some of his drawings, and each one pleased her. She fawned over him and made him feel loved and important.

Every day, they would have a picnic on the beach. She would bring her tea kettle and they would have tea together. Mike didn't very much care for tea, but he drank it anyway because he enjoyed her company. She would tell him stories about her orphans or his father or fascinating people she had met. She had led an interesting life and met many interesting people, and he hung on her every word. On one of their picnics, he asked her about the girl she had known with MPD.

"Whatever happened to Esmeralda?" he asked as he lay on his stomach on the beach towel. This was important to him, if she was able to make something of her life, then maybe he could to.

"I wish I could say, I haven't seen her since she left us when she was eighteen. I worry about her sometimes, I worry about all my little orphans, especially the ones that never found loving families to take them in. You know, used to my policy was to make sure that when people came looking to adopt, they were okay people. I would hammer them hard and even make them take me to their home, I wasn't about to let my children go off with people who might do them harm. But poor Esmeralda, she never found a home, and she was such a pretty girl, smart too. I never learned much about her life before coming to stay with me, but I know it wasn't pretty.

"She was teased and picked on by the others, though I did everything I could to put a stop to it. Fortunately she was able to make some friends, but she often felt inferior to the others and she ended up making some bad choices in an attempt to fit in. I told her that she was no less of a person because of her disorder, and it just made her more interesting. I told her that it made her stand out, but to not let that be the only thing that made her stand out. I told her to go out and make me proud, and so now I'm giving you the same advice. You're gonna do great, kid," said Wendy with a smile.

After hearing Esmeralda's story, he was all the more grateful that he had found such great people to take him in. His situation could have been far worse. He hoped to one day meet this girl, to maybe see some proof that he would be okay, in the long run.

Wendy moved on to talking about his father, she had no end of stories about him.

"When your daddy was little, he refused to believe superheroes weren't real, and he was so devastated when he was forced to accept the truth. It was the same with Santa Clause. He also wanted to be a giraffe, probably because he knew he'd never get very tall."

"I don't think he'd be very happy if he knew you were telling me all this," Mike giggled.

"He used to get picked on for that, you know, but he was very good at laughing at himself, and that helped a great deal. Oh well, at least he's handsome to make up for it. I can see where you get your good looks from," she said as she poked his nose. "And he's really not all that short, but you men are so concerned with stature. But you know, he also wanted to be a pilot, until he discovered his fear of heights. He's a great chef as you know already, so I'm glad he didn't go into flying. He was always a good boy, though I didn't really like his choice of wife."

"Why don't you like Holly?" asked Mike.

"It's nothing personal, she's a good girl, it's just that she doesn't really meet my standards for Jackie. My son's wife didn't deserve him, either. My late husband was the only Skinner boy to ever choose the right girl," she said with a wink.

"I think Holly is a great mom."

"Well, she brought you to me, so maybe she is. Now, have I ever told you about when I met John Lennon? I've always been a big fan of the Beatles, and at one of their concerts I got the chance of a lifetime."

Wendy did most of the talking, Mike was more content to listen. But when he did have something he wanted to talk about, she would listen like he was the most interesting person in the world. She told so many fantastic stories, he wished he had stories like that to tell. When he mentioned this to her, she replied with, "You will, someday, and I look forward to hearing them."

Whenever his alternate personalities appeared, she was never bothered. On the contrary, she enjoyed their company and would have conversations with them until Mike came back. She got along best with Manitoba, who shared her spirit of freedom and adventure.

"Manitoba, have you ever been on any ziplines?"

"I have a feelin' I'm about to be," he said with a grin.

"The zipline goes right over a pack of bears, so if the zipline breaks you end up smack dab in bear country, and they show no mercy. I'd like to see them try to take us down."

"I didn't think it was possible, a sheila after my own heart."

Wendy Skinner truly believed that her grandson was perfect, and if anyone said otherwise, she would fight them on it. One day, she was watching Vito surf. She enjoyed surfing as well, but Vito didn't like to be seen with her because he considered it uncool. She respected his wishes and let him surf by himself. As he was surfing, he crashed his board and the frustration brought out Chester. Some boys saw Chester complaining and, needless to say, they thought it was weird.

"Who's that boy?" asked one of them.

"My grandson," said Wendy proudly from her spot on the shoreline.

"I think the loony-bin is missing a nutjob," said the boy, and his friends snickered.

Wendy stood up and whacked the boy on the back with her cane. She didn't like the cane, she didn't always need it and it was annoying to have to carry around, but in circumstances like this it came in handy.

"Ow! Hey, you can't do that! I'll tell my dad!"

"You go right on ahead, tell him Wendy Skinner sent you! Now get off my beach!"

"It's not your beach!" he yelled, but he and his friends moved to another part of the beach. Everyone around here knew Wendy Skinner, and they knew better than to mess with her.

A couple girls walked by and noticed Mike, who was now himself again. "He's cute, don't you think?" one of them said to the other.

"Move along, nothing to see here," said Wendy, giving them a stern look.

The girls gave her a funny look, but kept on walking. Mike came back and ran up on the beach. Wendy handed him his shirt, which Vito had pulled off earlier.

"So, anything exciting happen while I was gone?" he asked as he shook the water out of his hair.

"No, nothing at all. And now that Vito's had his fun, I'm going to join you out there in the water."

"All right! Let's go!"

Nearly every night, Wendy took Mike out to do something fun. Sometimes they would go bowling, or to the movies. She even took him jet skiing, but when he showed hesitance to hang gliding, she didn't force him to go. She never slowed down, she was always doing something and ready to move onto the next thing, sometimes leaving Mike with a feeling of whiplash. She would occasionally use her cane, but when she didn't need it she would pass it to Mike and he'd carry it for her.

When he mentioned to her that he wanted to be an actor someday, she made him promise to get her a ticket to his first performance, and she started taking him to the theater so he could watch other actors performing. She had a friend who had a motorboat, he took them out on the ocean a few times. They did everything the city she lived by had to offer, and he had a blast. All the excitement made it easy for him to get to sleep each night.

When it was time for Mike to go back home, he hugged her and said, "You're the coolest nana ever, no, you're the coolest person ever, no contest. Can I come back next summer?"

"You'd better come see me next summer, I'd keep you year round if I could. Keep practicing your origami, and I'm going to practice those drawing techniques you showed me. Thanks for coming to see me, and for having tea parties with me, even if you don't like tea."

When he got home, Holly nearly strangled him with a hug. "Oh, I missed you so much. The time just dragged by."

"I missed you too, Mom."

"He's turning blue, Holly," said Jack.

"Sorry!" She let go but kissed his forehead.

Mike turned around and gave Jack a hug, as well. "So, how was your trip?"

"It was awesome!" He told them about everything that had happened during his trip.

* * *

While Jack and Holly were able to come to an understanding with most of Mike's personalities, more or less, the one they had trouble connecting with the most was Chester. He rebuffed every attempt at conversation, and he constantly complained no matter what they did. He was the one that got on their nerves the most, and they often snapped at him when he wouldn't stop complaining.

"Orange juice from a carton? Back in my day, if we wanted orange juice we had to go outside, pick oranges and squeeze 'em with our bare hands, and that's if they weren't ruined by frost or locusts!"

"If you want fresh squeezed orange juice, you can squeeze it yourself, grandpa!"

But when they did lose their temper, they had to take a minute to calm down. Chester was aggravating, but snapping at him wouldn't make him any less crotchety. Sometimes they had to leave the room just to keep from wringing his neck.

They were able to keep Mike's personalities from being triggered most of the time, but when they come out without being triggered, they couldn't bring Mike back until they let him come back. It was because of this that they were trying to get to know his other personalities and be friendly with them. Since Mike would likely have them forever, they figured it would be easier if they all could get along, but Chester was going out of his way to make this very difficult. They would try to suggest fun things to do, but he complained about every single one.

One day, they went to the park to have a picnic. The three of them were playing catch with a frisbee when another kid accidentally hit Mike in the head with a football. This triggered Chester.

"Sorry!" said the boy as he ran over to get his football. "I didn't mean to hit you."

"You dang kid! Don't you know to aim before you go throwing things? You coulda killed me!"

"It was an accident!"

Jack ran over and said, "He knows, he's just teasing. Here's your football," he said as he handed him his football.

The kid gave Chester a weird look, and then he ran off to rejoin his friends.

"What gives you the right to interrupt me? I was teaching that little miscreant a lesson!"

"I'm sure he learned it, now come on Chester, let's go back to our picnic table."

Until Mike came back, the game was over. Holly didn't want to serve the food until Mike came back so he wouldn't miss out on it, which meant they would have to wait until Chester decided to give him control back. Conversations with him never went anywhere, and so they were stuck doing nothing.

"Hey Chester, would you like to feed the ducks?" asked Holly. She took the bread they had brought just for the ducks that lived in the lake.

"What did they ever do to deserve that? They should go find their own food!"

"They normally do, it's just fun to feed them. Here, just throw them a handful."

Holly crumbled up some bread and handed him the crumbs. He muttered something under his breath and threw the crumbs to the birds. He continued crumbling up the bread and tossing it to the ducks and they ate each piece greedily. After all the bread was gone, he continued watching the ducks, and he ceased complaining.

As they watched him, Jack and Holly realized that Chester wasn't made of stone like he seemed to be. He might not be a chatty person, but that didn't mean he was unfeeling. If they didn't force him, he could be content. Maybe one day he would strike up a conversation with them, but for now the best thing would be to just let him be.

Mike came back not too much later, and they resumed their picnic as if it had not been interrupted. They ate their meal and then went back to playing frisbee.

* * *

Holly and Manitoba had a lot of trouble getting along. Jack had trouble getting along with him as well, but it was worse with Holly because she was still scared of driving after the infestation in her last car. There was also the problem of Manitoba taking up and leaving without any warning to go hiking or exploring. They went on camping and hiking trips as often as they could to try to prevent this, but it wasn't enough to satisfy him. They had managed to get him to agree to at least leaving a note when he decided to take off, but they couldn't get him to agree to any more than that. This always made Holly worry until he came home. It worried Jack too, but not to the same extent as his wife, so there was a lot of friction between them. They usually didn't outright argue, but she dreaded seeing him the most. That is, until one day when she saw him outside, digging.

They had just gotten back from a gymnastics competition, where Svetlana had won another gold medal. Mike should have been let out, but Manitoba had taken over instead. Holly came outside and watched him over his shoulder to see what he was doing.

Manitoba had a little place in the backyard that he kept a cardboard box buried, and every now and again, he would dig it up, add stuff to it, and then bury it again. The box was full of what appeared to be worthless junk: bottlecaps, rocks of various sizes and colors, pennies and dimes, nuts and bolts, pieces of cloth, string in every color of the rainbow, innumerable shiny and sparkly things, and a vast assortment of other odds and ends. There were a few things that looked like they could be worth something, but not much. He added a playing card, a wooden top, a bronze belt buckle, and a broken piece of pink plastic.

"G'day, Sheila," he said without looking at her.

"How did you know it was me?"

"You're the only person in the house who wears perfume," he replied, as though this should have been obvious.

"Oh." She knew his sense of smell was good, but not that good. She hadn't put on any perfume in days. "Why do you collect all that stuff, Manitoba?" she asked.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Well, it's just that you don't collect one particular thing. You know, most people collect stamps or postcards, you just collect anything you happen to find on the sidewalk."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"I just don't understand it. Help me understand, explain why these things deserve to be saved."

Still without looking at her, he held up a blue glass marble. "I found this on my first expedition after coming here."

He put it back and picked up a yellow string. "I found this outside the lion cage at the zoo."

He held up a rusty metal spring. "I found this in a dumpster."

"I still don't get what makes them so valuable."

"I don't collect this stuff because it's valuable, I collect it because I like collecting. I'm a treasure hunter, Sheila, better than any of the ones you see in the movies. The problem is, unlike in the movies, there's scarcely any treasure to be found, certainly not around here. That gets me down sometimes like you'd expect, it's like when a writer gets writer's block or when a musician just can't seem to get a note right, or when a painter has run out of things to paint. But I cheer myself up by finding other kinds of treasure. None of this stuff will ever make me rich, but I don't do it for the money anyway, I do it for the thrill of adventure. Anything can be treasure if you want it to be."

Holly was speechless for a moment. That wasn't what she'd expected to hear. Suddenly, all the junk in that box wasn't junk at all, it was precious. She had a collection of her very own, and so she could respect his love of collecting.

She went back inside to her room and took out the box under her bed. She brought it back outside and opened it.

"Since you showed me your collection, I want to show you mine."

Manitoba curiously looked at the wooden box in her hands. She opened it to reveal her seashell collection.

"We don't get to go to the beach often, but it's my favorite place in the world. I always collect shells to bring home a piece of the beach with me."

Manitoba's whole face lit up and his eyes shone. "These are beauties! This is quite the collection you've got here, Sheila."

"If you'd like, you can have one to add to your collection. I have a few shark teeth too, you can have one of them."

Manitoba chose a shell and a tooth with great excitement. The two of them talked for hours about their collections and what each piece meant to them. She promised him they'd get him a real treasure chest, because a cardboard box wasn't worthy of such treasure. Holly had done what she had thought to be impossible: befriended the cocky adventurer in Mike.

* * *

Mike often had periods where he would get worked up and have trouble dealing with his stress, but one day it culminated in an anxiety attack, the most severe one of his life.

Mike and Jack were out in the backyard playing catch with a baseball. The sun was high in the sky and there wasn't a cloud in sight. Mike had had another not-so-great day at school, so Jack took him outside to play.

"You know Mike, I really admire your hard work and dedication, your hopefulness and optimism," said Jack as he tossed him the ball. "Most people in your place would have given up on going to school by now, but you refuse to quit."

"Maybe it's dumb to keep trying, but it's not like I have many options," said Mike as he caught it. He tossed it back and said, "And there's this girl there that I kind of like. I would say she doesn't know I exist, but with Chester coming out all the time, there's no way she doesn't know I exist."

"What's her name?"

"Lucy. She's the prettiest girl in our class, probably the whole school." He blushed when he said it, he had never told anyone this before.

Jack had been expecting this, Mike was at the age when girls suddenly took a much bigger focus. He had been dreading it a little, just because he knew that it was going to be very hard for Mike to find a girl who could love and respect him in spite of his condition. But he wasn't going to let his worries get in the way of encouraging him.

"Have you ever spoken to her?"

He shook his head no. "The most we've ever spoken was when we were put on a group project together, but I was too nervous to talk about anything other than the assignment. Do you think there's any possible chance she might like me someday?"

"Well Mike, to be honest, I don't know. The world is full of people who judge others before they know them, it's a fact of life. If she, or any of the other kids at school, were to sit down with you at lunch and actually take the time to talk to you and get to know you, they'd see what a great kid you are. But most kids won't do that, I'm sad to say. Now, there may come a day when Lucy will start to see you, not your diagnosis, and she might like you the way you like her. But even if she doesn't, don't give up hope. I believe there will come a day when you'll meet someone who doesn't judge, as least not as quickly as others. It might be in school, or it could be anywhere else, but someday you're going to find someone special, and when you do, don't let them get away. But whatever happens, don't give up hope, okay?"

"I won't. But I do hope Lucy starts to like me someday."

"You know, I used to think that Holly could never like a guy like me. I wasn't always the strapping specimen you see before you today, and she was one of the prettiest girls in school. She could have had any guy she wanted, and she dated several guys before me, all hotter than me. She still has a box full of old love letters. I really shouldn't have gotten her, she was way out of my league, still is. I figure that if I can get a girl like Holly to like me, you can find a girl no problem. Try talking to her, that's the first step in getting to know someone. Strike up a conversation that's not about homework and see what happens."

Mike was left-handed and Jack was right-handed, so it made playing catch more difficult. Jack accidentally threw the ball a little too far to the right and Mike missed it, and he ran after it.

The ball rolled down in the crawl space under the house. He got down on his hands and knees to go after it. He was skinny enough that he could get through it without any difficulty. It was very dark in the crawl space, but the dark didn't bother him. That is, until the space got tighter and more narrow, and he could barely move. The small space wouldn't have bothered him either, but combined with the dark it started making him feel uneasy. He had no idea why, but it felt familiar somehow. His wrist started to hurt even though it was fine, and other places started to hurt as well, for no reason. They were like phantom pains that had no explanation. He made himself keep going until he found the ball, and then he crawled back out as fast as he could. By the time he got back out, he was panting and his heart was racing. He had almost started to panic.

"Mike, you all right?" asked Jack. "Did you see a snake under the house or something?"

"I'm all right, I just didn't like the small space. I'm not going under there again."

They resumed their game, and Mike tried to forget his feelings of unease and enjoy the rest of the game. Jack didn't think much of what had happened, he knew that crawl space was creepy. But then Mike clutched his forehead and scrunched up his eyes and didn't even try to catch the ball when Jack threw it.

"Something wrong, Mike?" asked Jack.

"I've got a headache. I'm going to go lie down."

"Feel better soon, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Mike went inside, and Jack picked up the ball and went in after him. Mike went up to his room, and Jack put on a movie in the living room. After the first half hour of the movie, Jack suddenly remembered that Mike's prescriptions had run out and he needed to get them refilled at the pharmacy. Not wanting to disturb him, he left a note and quietly left the house. He didn't plan to be gone for any longer than fifteen minutes.

When he made it up to the counter, as he was waiting for the pharmacist to get his prescriptions, Jack felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw on the caller ID that the call was coming from Mike's cellphone.

"Hey Mike, what's up?"

"He's gonna do it, he's been talking about it for a long time and he's finally gonna do it."

"Mike, what's going on?" It took him a minute to recognize the voice; it was the voice of the personality that had shown up when Mike first got his diagnosis, Carrot Top. "Who's going to do what?"

"He is!"

"What's he going to do?" The pharmacist returned with the prescriptions, but he didn't notice.

"He's gonna do it!"

"I don't know what you're trying to tell me. Slow down and start from the beginning."

"Hey, get your prescriptions or get out of line pal, I can't wait all day!" said a man from behind him. The line was growing longer and the people behind him were growing more and more impatient. Jack shushed them and kept listening to Mike.

"It's not good, I told him to stop but he doesn't listen to me! He says he can do whatever he wants and you can't stop him. I'm really scared, you've gotta help!"

"Listen, I need you to tell me what's going on, I can't help if you don't tell me." Communicating with personalities like this was never easy, and it sounded like Mike was in danger. It was taking a lot of effort for him to not yell at him to get to the point, because if he yelled at him then he would shut down and he would get nowhere, so it was crucial that he stay patient with him.

"He's gonna be really mad at me for telling you. He already broke it, there's pieces all over the floor, I can see myself in them. I'm gonna go hide somewhere safe."

"Please tell me what's happening, it's very important that you tell me." Dozens of possibilities flashed through his mind, each one worse than the last.

"He's gonna hurt Michael real bad," he whispered.

That was enough for Jack. He left the prescriptions and bolted out of the store and drove straight home. He burst into Mike's room and gasped in horror at what he saw.

Mike was crouched on the floor. Blood was spurting from his wrists, he was soaked in it, along with the bed sheets and the floor. Mike looked up at him and bared his teeth in a snarl. Jack saw that the bathroom mirror was shattered and he had a jagged piece of glass in his hand.

"Get out! Leave me alone!"

"Oh God!" Jack took the piece of glass from him, cutting his own hand in the process. He took off his shirt and tied it as tightly as possible around one of Mike's wrists to try to staunch the bleeding. One of Mike's shirts was lying on the floor, he grabbed it and tied it around the other. He found a third and tied it around both wrists in an attempt to secure them and to hinder the personality from doing anything else. He had to act fast, Mike had already lost a lot of blood and these shirts wouldn't last long. He picked Mike up and ran to the car and then sped down the road.

None of Mike's alters had ever shown signs of being suicidal, and it occurred to him that this could be the one that had been in control in the asylum. The alter grabbed the steering wheel and tried to send them into a tree, but Jack managed to swerve back into the road and keep from hitting anything. He had to use one hand to steer and the other to keep him in line.

"Stop interfering! I have to kill the others so I can have control! I'm not afraid of you like they are, I'm not afraid of anything!"

"Are you the one that was in control in the asylum?" Jack asked. He heard sirens, he looked in the rearview mirror and saw a cop tailing him, but he only drove faster.

"You mean the hospital? No, that was the scary one. I have to kill him, too. He can't get out again, but I want him to die with all the others!"

Jack didn't know what to make of that, but at the moment he didn't care. The alter tried several more times to run them off the road and that cop wouldn't let up and blood was dripping through his makeshift bandages, but he could only focus on getting to the hospital before it was too late.

When he was nearly to the hospital, Mike was coming back.

"Dad? What's going on?" he asked groggily. He noticed the shirts tied around his wrists and started to tug on them.

"Don't touch those! We're going to the hospital, just stay calm."

They finally made it to the hospital. Jack parked the car and took out Mike and ran with him to the building.

"Stop right there!" yelled the cop who was chasing him.

Jack spun around to show him what he was carrying. The cop faltered, and Jack said, "Give me a ticket later, my son is dying!"

Mike was hyperventilating in his arms, and his entire body was shaking like he had been locked in a freezer. His teeth were gritted in pain and distress. "I can't breathe," he gasped.

There was a long line in the waiting room, but he ran straight up to the front desk.

"Sir, please wait at the back of the line."

"I don't have time to wait! Look at my son, he needs help now! You find me a doctor or I will find one myself!" he shouted.

The nurse called for a stretcher, and Jack looked down at him. Mike's eyes weren't focusing, and he was starting to lose consciousness.

"Stay awake, son. Don't go to sleep yet." He was afraid he was going into shock, and that if he fell asleep, he would never wake up again. Mike's body was limp, and his head lolled to the side. "Mike, what's our address?" he asked, trying to distract him and keep him awake.

Mike gave a completely different address than theirs, but he didn't care. "Good, now what's our phone number?"

As Mike mumbled his answer, Jack kept repeating, "Everything's going to be okay, you're going to be fine, everything's going to be okay." He was speaking more to himself than to Mike.

They brought out a stretcher. He gently placed Mike on it, but the second he did, he disappeared and that other personality came back. They wheeled him into the ER and Jack followed. The nurses tried to force him back, and he almost relented, but then he saw him rip off the shirts from around his wrists, and blood started spurting out again like a sprinkler. He took a scalpel off the table and raised it to his neck. Jack shoved them out of the way and grabbed his wrists to keep him from hurting anyone, most importantly, Mike.

"Oh no you don't!" he yelled. The personality was stronger than what should have been possible in the body's current state, the pain and weakness had no effect, it wasn't going to give up and so far not even death was stopping him. But he couldn't go on like this for much longer.

"Get away from me! I'm not going to hurt anyone!"

Jack believed him, Mike was its only target. He got one of his hands free and grabbed Jack's glasses and crushed them in his fist. He had terrible eyesight without his glasses, but he wasn't about to let that stop him. The alter growled at him, and an insane idea occurred to him. Mike had lesser personalities that feared him because they thought he was his biological father. This personality believed that if he killed himself, Mike would die and he would go on living. Maybe the opposite was true, as well.

He looked him dead in the eye and said, "I'm not going to let you hurt Mike. You know what I'm capable of, you remember what I did to you. If you ever try to hurt him, or kill him again, I will kill you myself. You'll never have control of the body again, Mike will go on and you'll be dead. Is that what you want?"

"You wouldn't!" he snarled, its eyes feral.

"Just watch me," he growled back.

The alter spat in his face, but then he let go of the scalpel and it clattered onto the floor. He wasn't done fighting yet, though. He tried to pounce on Jack, but a doctor stuck a needle in his neck to sedate him.

"You need to leave now," said the doctor, and this time, Jack complied.

He left the ER, feeling like he was betraying Mike by leaving him in there with that thing, but he had no other choice. At least it seemed to take his threat seriously, maybe he would leave Mike alone now. That was the scariest thing he had ever faced. One thing was for sure, no matter how things turned out today, that thing was going to haunt his nightmares for a long time.

To think that not even an hour ago he and Mike had just been hanging out and having fun, having their first talk about girls. How had it come to this? He had never been this scared in his entire life, Mike had come to mean so much to him, he didn't want to lose him.

It wasn't easy without his glasses, but he managed to get outside to his car to get his jacket to cover himself with. As he went, he wondered what he must look like right now to other people, shirtless, bloody, and exhausted. At least no one asked why he was this way.

He went back inside to the bathroom to wash the blood off of himself, and then he went to the waiting room and sat down. Until now, he had been running on pure adrenaline, but now there was nothing else he could do. He needed to do something, he needed to help Mike, but he had done everything in his power to help him already and there was nothing left. He needed to make a couple calls, but it didn't feel like enough. He took out his cellphone and called Holly's number on speed dial. She didn't pick up.

"Come on Holly, pick up the phone," he said on the third try. Still no answer. He instead called Dr. Lace. When she answered, he told her everything that had happened, leaving out no detail, no matter how small.

"It sounds like Mike had an anxiety attack, and a very severe one at that. The personality you described could be the one who was in the asylum before you adopted Mike."

"I don't know how credible that thing is, but it claimed that it wasn't. I asked on the drive to the hospital, it said the 'scary one' was in charge then. If the one I saw today is scared of another alter, I can't imagine how bad it must be. But it also said it couldn't come back. I don't know about the second part, but the first part I believe. That thing was like a rabid animal, the way the doctors described the other one, it didn't sound like this one."

"It sounds to me like another half-formed alternate personality, one that doesn't have as high brain function as other alters do. That's why it thought it could kill Mike and keep on living. These alters are very weak, they can't come out as often as other alters do. I believe the very first two I met were also like this, but not violent."

"I think I scared it into submission. I told it I would kill it if it tried something like that again. The doctors don't know yet that Mike has multiple personalities, they probably think I'm a homicidal maniac."

"If it saves Mike's life, it's worth it. I never thought of going at it that way. Of course, that doesn't guarantee that it won't try again, or that other lesser personalities won't do the same."

"Do we need to watch Mike 24-7?"

"I don't believe that will be necessary. Like I said, these alters can't come out very often. I'll up the dosage on his anxiety medication, and we'll work on this in therapy."

"What do we need to do the next time he has an anxiety attack? Hopefully they won't all be this bad."

"I'm afraid there's not much you can do. When he's having an attack, try to give him his anxiety medication if you can and talk to him, hearing your voice might serve as an anchor back to reality. Beyond that, just keep him comfortable and try to prevent him from hurting himself. You might want to keep a close eye on him for a while after this, but I think he should be fine."

"If I wasn't too late. There was so much blood."

"You should call your wife, she needs to know. I hope Mike's okay. I'm not supposed to say this, but he's one of my favorite patients."

"Thanks, doc."

After he hung up, his phone buzzed again.

"Holly, thank goodness, Mike-"

"Hey honey, sorry I couldn't pick up earlier. I was giving a bunch of teen girls manicures, they couldn't make up their minds on what design they wanted on their nails. So, what were you calling about? Did Mike have a good day at school?"

She sounded so cheerful, he hated to ruin it with bad news. "Promise me you won't panic."

There was a pause, then, "If you feel the need to make me promise, you know I'm going to panic regardless of any promises I make. Did something happen? Did Manitoba take off on another expedition without telling us? I told him to wait until bear mating season is over!"

"I had to take Mike to the emergency room."

She gasped. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I did! You didn't answer your phone."

"What happened? Is he okay? Did Svetlana fall and break her leg?"

"I wish. Holly, he… he might not make it." He told her what happened. When he got to the part where he found him with his wrists slit, she hung up the phone without letting him finish. She seemed to get there faster than was possible, and she tried to go straight into the ER.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we can't let you go back there," said a male nurse.

"My son is in there, he might be dying!"

"They're trying to stitch him up, but they're having trouble. The sedative didn't work, and the patient is being violent and aggressive. You can see him once they've stabilized him and stitched his wounds."

"But that might be too late!" Jack came over and pulled her away as she started to cry. He led her back to where he was sitting. There was paperwork that needed to be filled out, but he couldn't see well enough to do it without his glasses. Holly cried silently as she filled out the paperwork. All the while, she was silently praying, _He's just a little boy, he's got his whole life ahead of him. You must have brought him to us for a reason, there must be some purpose for Mike's life that we just can't see yet. We've only had him for such a short amount of time, don't take him from us now, not like_ _this._

Inside the ER, the doctors and nurses were trying to hold Mike down and stop the bleeding at the same time. He shouldn't be awake, by that point he shouldn't have even been alive, but sheer will power was keeping him strong, and he was vicious. He'd nearly bitten two of the nurses and one of the doctors. But finally it became too much, and he collapsed on the stretcher. The heart monitor went flat, and the doctors began CPR.

Mike was underwater. The water around him was the most beautiful shade of blue, and it was warm and soothing. He couldn't breathe, but he wasn't scared. On the contrary, he had never felt more relaxed, more at peace. He wanted to sleep, he was content to sink.

But then he felt someone take his hand and pull him up above the surface. He opened his eyes and saw a clear blue sky, and trees with their branches blowing in a breeze. He saw three children before him that looked so familiar, but he couldn't recall their names. Three hands held onto his.

"You need to wake up, Mike," one of them said. She was a girl, with dark, wavy brown hair that went past her shoulders. She had a loving smile. "It's not time for you to go yet."

"Let go of me," he said. The water had been warm, but the air up here was freezing. "I want to go back in the water."

"You can't go back in, you can't leave your mom and dad," said another, a boy with light brown curls. "Think of how sad they would be to lose you. You can't leave them."

"I'm so tired, I just want to sleep." He was so exhausted, he felt like there was a thousand pound weight on his back trying to drag him down. If he let it take him back into the water, he could rest.

"You'll sleep another day," said the last, a girl with long red hair. "Today though, you need to wake up."

"I am awake, but I want to sleep," he insisted.

"It's not time for you to come with us yet, you need to stay here for now." The girl with the brown hair let go of his hand and kissed his cheek, and then walked away.

"Wait, come back! I don't even know your name!" he called out to her, but she was already gone.

"See you soon, Mike," said the boy with a smile. He too let go of his hand and walked away.

"Where are they going?" he asked. "I know them, I know I do, why are they leaving?"

"Listen Mike, we don't have long now," said the girl with the red hair. She was the only one left holding his hand now. Fireflies started buzzing around her, and he wanted to reach out and grab one.

"No! Tell me your name, how do you know me? Who are you?"

"Who I am isn't important, you've got only a few seconds left and we mustn't waste them. You're dying, Mike. You've run out of blood, it's all around you now, look."

He looked, and gasped at what he saw. The water surrounding him was no longer water, it was blood.

"How did this happen? Why am I dying?"

"You're just a kid, Mike, your life isn't over yet. You have to fight, right now you're losing but the battle isn't over yet." With her free hand she caught a firefly. She released it and said, "Wishing on one of these can't save you. I can't save you, either. There's only one person in the world that can save you, and that's you, Mike. You can't give up, you have to fight!"

"I don't know what to do. I can't fight, I'm too tired. Everything hurts so much." In the water he had felt completely at peace, but talking to her was causing him pain.

"Fight the pain, don't let it consume you. Don't try to disappear, don't hide from it. That's what you did when you were little, you tried to hide from the pain, and it worked too well, didn't it? But you're not hiding anymore, are you? It's time to make your choice. You can hide from the pain in the water, or you can face it head on. I'm going to let go of you, and you're going to have to fight on your own, do you understand?"

"Don't let go, don't leave me."

"I have to. I can't save you, you have to save yourself." She released his hand and yelled, "Fight Mike! Fight with everything you've got!"

He slipped down below the surface again, surrounded by the deepest, darkest red. For a moment he considered letting it take him, there was no pain down here, only calm and quiet. But he couldn't get the words of the three children out of his head. He began to kick and swim back up, like his grandfather had taught him. But as hard as he tried, it felt like something was dragging him back down. He felt three hands on his legs, pulling him down deeper and deeper. He refused to give up, in spite of the pain and the fatigue and the force pulling him under. He kept going, pushing harder and harder, until he finally broke the surface and pulled himself onto the shore.

His eyes burst open and he started gasping for air. He had no idea where he was or how he had got there. He saw a team of doctors and nurses standing over him, and he was terrified. He tried to move but he couldn't, and that only panicked him more. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't catch his breath, he couldn't find his voice. He was breathing, but it was having no effect, he was suffocating. His eyes frantically scanned the room, trying to find answers.

"We've got a pulse!" he heard a female voice say.

He realized that this must be a hospital, but what was he doing here? What happened to him?

Jack and Holly had to wait for over an hour before the doctor came out to see them. "We've stabilized your son, we had to restart his heart and give him two blood transfusions, but he'll be okay."

"Oh thank God," said Holly. "Can we see him?"

"Yes, but he needs to rest."

He took them to the room Mike was in. They sat down by the bed, and the doctor left them alone. He was hooked up to a heart monitor, and he had a breathing tube in his nose and an IV. At the moment, the beeping of the heart monitor was the most beautiful sound in the world. They had cleaned the blood off of him, and his wrists were now stitched closed. His arms and legs were strapped down on the bed, and his eyes were only half-open.

"How you holding up, buddy?" asked Jack softly.

"My head still hurts," he moaned. Every inch of visible skin had claw marks; Jack hadn't noticed that before.

"How much do you remember?" he asked.

"I was going up the stairs at home, and I don't remember anything after that. What happened to me? Why can't I move?"

Jack told him what had happened, without going into all the gory details, and told him what Dr. Lace had told him.

"The restraints are just a precaution, you'll only have to be in them for a little while."

"I hope that personality never comes back," said Mike with a shudder. "Vito and Chester are nothing compared to that."

"I'm so glad you're okay," said Holly as she gently hugged him. She kissed his forehead and continued, "When your dad told me what happened, all I could think about was what I would do if I ever lost you. I couldn't handle it."

"It's a good thing Dad was there," said Mike. "You saved my life."

"What are dads for?" said Jack with a weary smile.

Mike fell asleep not long after that, the sedative finally kicking in and doing its job now that it was no longer needed. It didn't keep his personalities from talking in his sleep, though. His sleeping was always fitful, whether he was having nightmares or not. In the early days, his talking had kept them awake, but they had quickly learned to tune it out.

Jack and Holly went to the cafeteria for some dinner while he slept. Outside his door, a nurse came by and said, "Here are the shirts you used to bandage Mike's wounds with." They were completely ruined.

"That was my favorite shirt," Jack sighed as he threw them in a trashcan.

Holly put her arms around him and said, "You saved him, Jack. You're a hero."

"No I'm not. All I could think was that if he died, I wouldn't be a dad anymore, and I couldn't let that happen. It wasn't heroic, it was just doing what needed to be done."

"If you hadn't found him in time… I can't believe how close we came to losing him today." Fresh tears streaked down her face.

"Thank God Carrot Top cared enough to call me, and was able to call. If he hadn't… if I had been just five minutes late, I would have found him… I would have found him…" It was too horrible to speak it out loud. He held her tighter and said, "He's safe now, that's what matters."

"You're my hero, Jack."

After they finished dinner, they went home so that Jack could get his spare glasses and to clean the blood out of Mike's room before he got home. What had happened was bad enough, he didn't need the blood stains as a reminder. They picked up the broken pieces of glass, and they changed his bed sheets and scrubbed the carpet. They couldn't get the stains out completely, but they didn't stand out so much now. They covered the biggest one with a rug and then went straight back to the hospital in case Mike needed them.

That night, they both slept in the chairs in Mike's room. Mike was kept in the hospital for twenty-four hours for observation to make sure he was safe to go home. He was allowed out of the restraints, but only as long as at least one person was in the room with him. The food in the hospital was gross, so Jack went to the bakery across town while Holly stayed with Mike. He bought him a bag of freshly baked cookies.

"I'm pretty sure it's illegal to sneak sweets into a hospital," he said as he handed him the bag. "So don't tell the doctors or I might go to jail."

"Thanks Dad," said Mike. The cookies helped cheer him up.

Jack had swung by the house while he was out and he brought him his sketchpad so he could keep busy and not get bored. Jack and Holly watched a movie on TV to bide their time, all the while glancing at Mike every few minutes in case that alter did reappear.

Mike decided to draw what he imagined the personality looked like. Jack said it was like a wild, frightening beast, and so that's how he drew it. But when he saw the final product, he couldn't stand to look at it. It was scary to think that a part of himself wanted him dead, and had almost succeeded. He hoped his dad's threat would work and keep it away.

While he had been sleeping the previous night, he'd had an unusual dream. Part of the reason it was unusual was that he normally didn't remember his dreams, but this one he had. He had dreamed of three children. He knew them, but he didn't know their names. They were important somehow, he was sure of it, but he was drawing a total blank on them. He decided to draw them, hoping that maybe if he saw them on paper it might stimulate his memory. He drew all three, but he made no progress with his memory.

"Who are you drawing?" Holly asked as she brought him lunch on a tray.

"I don't know, I had a dream about them."

"These two kind of look like you," she pointed out.

"Really?" He hadn't noticed that before.

"The girl has your nose and eyes, and the boy has your gap-toothed smile."

"You're right, that's odd."

"This other girl looks like no one I've ever seen before."

"I call her the girl with the fireflies."

"She's very pretty."

Pretty didn't begin to cover it, she was beautiful. He wished these children were real, and not just people from his dreams. At least he had these drawings, in case he ever forgot the dream.

Mike was released that night, his face ashen and his legs a little wobbly, but otherwise fine.

* * *

That Saturday, both Holly and Jack had to work, so Holly took Mike with her to the salon. She wished she could leave him at home, she knew he'd have more fun there, but with the possibility of Vito or Manitoba coming out, or that horrible half-formed alter, they couldn't be too careful. At least Mike didn't seem to mind too much.

She was the only one working today, because her employee was on vacation. As Holly was giving one of her elderly regulars her monthly perm, Mike was doing homework.

"What happened?" the woman asked, referring to the scratches. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt to cover the ones on his arms, but he couldn't hide the ones on his face "It looks like you got into a fight with a lawnmower and lost."

She was the fifth customer to ask him that, but he just smiled and replied, "I have a very badly behaved cat."

Another customer came in, a younger woman with long, strawberry blonde hair that went down below her waist.

"I'll be with you in just a minute," said Holly.

The woman sat down and picked up a hair magazine and browsed through the different styles. Holly didn't notice as Mike got up and went to sit beside her.

"Vat is your name?"

She looked up at him and said, "What happened to your face, kid?"

"Zat is not important. Vat is your name?" she repeated.

"Hazel."

"Are you cutting your hair today?"

"I'm not sure yet. I want to do something different with it, but I'm not sure what. I might perm it, I don't know."

"No, do not do zat, your hair is suited to being straight. You should cut it to just below your chin, you have ze perfect face for short hair."

"I don't think so, I've kept it long my whole life. I've only cut it twice, it wouldn't look right short."

"It is up to you, but I zink you should take ze risk. It is good to do different zings every now and again, it keeps life interesting. If you do not like your hair short, it vill grow out and it vill be long again in no time."

Hazel considered it a moment, and then said, "Sure, why not."

"Okay, I'm ready for you," said Holly. The other woman was now in one of the hair dryers. "What would you like?"

Hazel came to sit in the chair. "I want it all off, I want it just below my chin."

"That's a big change. Feeling adventurous?" she asked as she draped a towel around her. She started snipping away.

"I guess so."

In the mirror, Hazel could see Svetlana doing stretches. She then did spun in a circle on her toes and landed in a split. Holly noticed, but didn't say anything. As long as Svetlana wasn't causing trouble, she was just fine with letting her do her flips and talk to the customers.

It didn't take long to for her to cut her hair. Once it was done, Hazel admired her reflection.

"What do you think?" asked Holly.

"I look great! I never thought I'd like short hair but it actually looks good. And my head is probably at least ten pounds lighter. Thanks, kid!"

Svetlana looked up from her handstand and said, "It vas my pleasure!"

Hazel left the salon, and Holly went to talk to her.

"How do you know so much about hair styling, Svetlana?"

"Intuition," she replied as she bended over backwards.

For the rest of the day, Svetlana gave style advice to all Holly's customers as she practiced her dancing, and not a single one left dissatisfied. When Svetlana took the scissors and cut hair herself, Holly didn't try to stop her. If she wasn't completely devoted to gymnastics, she could have been a great hair stylist.

Holly and Svetlana talked in between customers, but she was more interested in practicing than talking. Still, Holly hadn't expected to ever befriend any of Mike's alters, so it was a pleasant surprise to find a friend in Svetlana. She noticed that Svetlana wasn't doing any handstands or anything that would put pressure on Mike's hands to keep from popping the stitches. She took some of Holly's sparkly blue and green nailpolish and drew hearts on his bandages, her way of cheering Mike up.

As they were driving home, Mike came back.

"Which one was it?" he sighed.

"Svetlana, but don't worry, she didn't cause any problems. In fact, all my customers loved her. We got to talk, and I feel like I made a lot of progress with her. She's friendlier than I thought."

"She's the nicest of all of them," he said as he looked down at the bandages around his wrists. They were there to keep him from picking at or scratching the stitches underneath. He saw the hearts, and even though he knew he'd better wash them off or risk getting his face smashed in at school for them, they still made him smile. "She encourages me sometimes."

"I'm glad she does."

It was comforting to Holly to know that, though Mike had personalities that wanted to do him harm, he had some that cared enough to look out for him and be a friend to him, too.


	16. Satchimo

When Mike was thirteen, he decided that he wanted a skill all his own.

This was a long time coming. Having alternate personalities that were so talented made him feel inferior and insecure about his own abilities. He wanted something none of the rest of them could do, something he could be proud of.

He had put a lot of thought into it, of what he wanted to try doing. One day he heard Holly playing the piano downstairs. The melodies were so lovely and relaxing, and he decided that he wanted to learn to play, as well.

"Mom?" he said as he came down the stairs. "Can you teach me to play like that?"

"I'd love to! Come on, come sit next to me. We'll start right now."

Holly began by teaching him the notes on the piano and where to place his fingers. To help him remember where the notes were, she would call out a note and he would press it. He caught on quickly and his face lit up whenever he got a note right.

Over the next several weeks, Mike learned how to take the notes and chords and put them together to make music. Sometimes he would get hung up on a note and it would frustrate him, and Holly had to try to calm him down to keep Chester from coming out and ending the lesson. She didn't always succeed because his switches came on so suddenly, but she had a pretty good track record overall.

"I just can't play that note right!" said Mike one day.

"It's okay Mike, don't get worked up, it's just a note," said Holly as she rubbed his arm. He relaxed and Chester was kept at bay.

"Thanks Mom."

"No problem."

He started out with simple, basic songs, but gradually worked his way up to more difficult pieces. He knew he wouldn't ever be playing in a grand concert hall, but that didn't matter to him. The fact that he could play the piano at all pleased him. He finally had a skill of his own that he could be proud of.

There was a talent show at school coming up, and he entered it to play before the whole school. He was nervous about it though, until then he had only ever played for his parents. To help him relax and get used to a big audience, they let him play in church a few times. The people there weren't at all critical of him and enjoyed his playing, and it helped him feel a little more confident.

On the day of the show, he had an appointment with Dr. Lace after school. Svetlana was the one who walked into her office.

"Good afternoon, Svetlana," said Dr. Lace with a smile. "You're looking well today."

"Yes, I am knowing zis."

"Is it just you today?"

"Holly vas being late again, Svetlana had to make sure Mike got here at precisely ze right time. Punctuation is being very important."

"I agree, being punctual is very important. Let's go back and begin the session, shall we?" As they walked down the hall to her office, Dr. Lace took out her cellphone and texted Holly, _No need to worry, Svetlana brought Mike to therapy again. She says you weren't on time so she had to take matters into her own hands. _

Once they sat down in her office, Dr. Lace said, "Can I ask a favor of you, Svetlana?"

"Vat is it?"

"Could you write down the sentence for me? 'These aren't the droids you're looking for.' Write it in this notebook."

"Svetlana does not see vere you are going vith zis, but all right." Svetlana wrote down the sentence and handed the notebook back.

"Thank you, Svetlana. I'm doing this to help understand you all better, Mike chose the sentence. You all have different writing styles, see? Look, here's Mike's writing at the top, neat and in cursive. Vito's is messier and harder to read, I don't think he cares much for penmanship. Manitoba's is a little neater, it's in cursive too but you can tell he writes fast. Chester took more time in writing his, it's not messy exactly but you can tell he doesn't have much experience writing. I've got some from half-formed alters, only a few that I've spoken to can write. Carrot Top tried to write for me, but he can't read, and even with my help he misspelled nearly every word. And here's your handwriting, Svetlana. You wrote in Russian, and yours is the most elegant style of all. Isn't that fascinating?"

"I suppose." Dr. Lace hadn't expected her to be that interested, she was more concerned with physical skills than writing skills. She had also determined Vito to mentally be in his late teens to early twenties, Svetlana to be in her late twenties to early thirties, Manitoba to be somewhere between early to late thirties, and Chester to be around seventy, but she didn't think she would be interested in that, either.

"I think it's nice how you make sure Mike keeps his appointments with me, it's very helpful. I think his parents would appreciate it though if you called or texted them to let them know when you do it so they don't get worried."

"Vith Svetlana around zere is nothing for zem to be vorrying about."

"Manitoba has brought Mike to therapy a few times, as well. Tell me, why is Mike's therapy so important to you?"

"It makes him feel better, and it vould be rude to you if he is late."

"Do you like it when we talk in therapy?"

"Svetlana enjoys your company, yes."

"I enjoy yours, too. Vito and Chester don't seem to like me very much, so it's nice that you and Manitoba do. Now, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about, Svetlana. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I think it would be good for you. How did Mike's parents treat you? His biological parents."

"Have you asked ze others zis question?"

"I have. They didn't have much to say about it, but I believe there is more that they don't want to talk about. If you want, you can keep the details to yourself and just give me a general idea of what it was like."

"Zere is not much to say. Zey vere awful people, zat is it."

"Did they ever hurt you, specifically?"

"Once, ven I vas practicing gymnastics ven Mike vas a little boy, his father said he vould break my leg if I kept doing it. I vas not afraid of him, but I knew zat he did not make empty threats, and a broken leg could have ruined my fantastic abilities permanently. From zen on I only practiced ven ve vere alone on ze mountain. Zat vas our safe haven, vere ve could do whatever ve liked vithout fear of punishment. But ve could not stay, unfortunately. Zat is why Svetlana likes Mike's new parents and you, you do not mind ven Svetlana practices. Zat is all I have to say on zis matter."

"That's good that you didn't let him stop you from doing what you love. Thank you for sharing with me, Svetlana. If you have nothing more to say about that, then we'll move onto something else. Anything exciting happen this week?"

"Oh yes! Svetlana came in first at a figure skating competition! Zere is a new gold medal hanging in Mike's room."

"How did it go? Were the other competitors tough to beat?"

Svetlana laughed in derision and said, "Is zat a joke question?"

Dr. Lace listened as Svetlana animatedly told her every detail of the competition. She had listened to all of Mike's main alters tell her things in these sessions, none of them were in the least bit shy. She had listened to many of his lesser personalities, too. She enjoyed talking to his main ones more, but the lesser ones usually offered up more useful information about Mike.

Mike didn't return until she finished talking twenty minutes later. He blinked and said, "Oh, hello doctor."

"Hello Mike, so glad you could join me today," said the doctor with a smile. "Svetlana was just telling me about how she won her new gold medal."

"My mom didn't bring me here today, did she?"

"She's probably in the waiting room now, but no, Svetlana brought you. Your therapy is important to her, you know. It is to Manitoba, as well."

"I think Manitoba just likes the sound of his own voice, and you're a good listener," said Mike with a wry smile.

"That may be it. You know Mike, I've been doing some thinking about your amnesia. Today I'd like to try hypnotism, if you're up to it. I've talked it over with your parents, and they're on board if you are."

"Sure, why not?"

"Now remember, hypnotism isn't what you see in the movies, it's not a guaranteed fix for anything. But it may help us to recover some pieces of your memory. And don't worry, I can't make you do anything you wouldn't do while conscious."

"Okay, I'm ready."

She had him turn off his cellphone, and she turned off hers. She had him lie down on the couch with his hands over his stomach and close his eyes, and she dimmed the lights.

"I want you to relax, Mike, and clear your thoughts." She spoke in a low, soothing voice in time with his breathing. "I want you to imagine a happy place, a place where you feel safe and secure. It could be a warm, sandy beach, or a quiet meadow next to a trickling stream."

Mike thought of being on a mountain as the sun was going down, when the weather was cool but not cold. He could feel a gentle breeze blowing through his hair, and the sun was in the perfect spot, glowing orange and red. There were one or two stars peeking out, but the sun was still up, and there was still light.

"I want you to relax your fingers and toes, and then relax your arms and legs. Now feel your hips relaxing, up to your waist. Feel your stomach and chest relaxing, your shoulders, neck and head relaxing. I want you to relax all over."

Relaxing wasn't always easy for him, but here it felt more natural.

"Feel yourself flying through the air, no stress, no worries, no cares in the world. You land on a cloud made of pure relaxation, and as you sink into it, feel all your worries slip away. No one can touch you inside this cloud, it keeps you safe and warm."

He visualized the cloud, and felt all his stress and worry melt away.

"Now that you are relaxed, this feeling of calm will gently carry you into a deep, peaceful state of hypnosis. My voice will serve as your guide and your connection back to reality. I want you to go back in time and tell me what you see."

"I see… I see chains."

"Chains? Who's in the chains?"

"I think I am."

"Did your mother or father do this to you?"

"No, they're not there. It's someone else, I can't make out their face. I'm asking them to let me go, but they won't."

"Let's go back further, before then. What do you see now?"

"I see a lot of things, but they don't make sense. I see a swingset, but it's inside a house. I see a bed inside a classroom."

"These memories must be colliding and mixing together. Focus on just one thing and see if it becomes clearer."

He concentrated on the swingset, and it came into focus. "The swingset is in a playground, and I see two kids playing. One of them is a boy with light, curly brown hair. The other looks like… he looks like…me."

Mal heard Mike talking, and he realized that in spite of his efforts to keep Mike in the dark, he was beginning to remember. Well, he couldn't have that. There was a half-formed alter that had come near his boulder, and it was one of the least developed in there. It didn't have the strength to take control on its own, but Mal could fix that. He grabbed it by the leg and dragged it closer to him, ignoring its protests. Since he couldn't do anything while in chains, he lent it some of his energy so it could take control. He then started whispering terrible things to it. This alter had taken a great deal of abuse, and Mal made it remember in stark detail every second of it until it couldn't take it anymore.

"What are you doing with that little boy?" his doctor asked, her interest piqued.

"I'm pushing him on the swing-" he gasped and arched his back and let out a miserable, terrified wail. He suddenly leapt off the couch and jumped out the window and dashed off down the street.

Dr. Lace ran out the door, and when she saw Holly in the waiting room, she yelled to her and said, "Come with me, Mike needs help!"

She didn't have to be told twice and they both ran after him. They saw him run across the street and nearly get hit by several cars. Horns blared at him, only agitating him further. He was a faster runner than both of them, and he quickly darted out of their line of sight. They lost of track of him and couldn't find him.

"Oh God, where could he be?" asked Holly, starting to panic. Even Dr. Lace, who was the epitome of professionalism, looked frantic.

"Hey, you guys lookin' for a kid?" asked a homeless man.

"Have you seen him?" asked Holly frantically.

"He's over there." He pointed to a filthy dumpster in an alley. They ran over to it and found him curled up in a ball beside it, sucking his thumb and banging his head against the brick wall he was sitting against. Holly immediately ran over and got down beside him, not caring about all the grime getting on her. She cradled his head so he couldn't bang it against the wall anymore.

"What's wrong with him?" asked the homeless man.

Dr. Lace turned to him and said, "Thank you for your help, you can be on your way."

He didn't move, so she said, "Now!"

He walked away, and Holly said, "It's okay, Mama's here. Mama's got you."

Dr. Lace quietly asked herself, "Oh Mike, who did this to you?"

Mike was completely silent, not making a sound. They couldn't get him to respond or even look at them, so Holly picked him up and carried him back to Dr. Lace's office. They brought him to another room, one that was furnished similar to the therapy room, but slightly different. They went inside and Holly laid him down on the couch. He hadn't moved the entire way, he stayed curled up and he was as still as a statue.

"What's going on with him?" asked Holly in a whisper. She gently rubbed his shoulder. "I've never seen him like this."

"It's obviously a half-formed alter, but vastly underdeveloped compared to the others. It's infantile, pre-language."

"He's supposed to play in a talent show tonight, he'll be so disappointed if he misses it."

"That may be the least of our problems, I don't know how long this one could hold on and stay in control. I don't know what went wrong, he was doing so well and making progress. He was starting to remember parts of his childhood."

"Maybe that's the problem, maybe he shouldn't remember. If it's bad enough to reduce him to this state, then I think that's a sign that we should leave well enough alone. No more hypnotism or anything else that would bring those memories out, and that's final," said Holly firmly.

"I agree. Mike won't be happy about that, but it's for the best. Now I'm very sorry, but I have another patient that will be coming in soon. I want to help Mike, but it wouldn't be fair to my other patient."

"No, no don't worry, I'll look after him."

"He can stay in this room until he wakes up, I'll come back after I finish with this other patient, he's the last one of the day." Dr. Lace left the room and Holly heard her say, "Hello Trent, how are you today?"

Holly called Jack and he left work to come to see what he could do. They both kept trying to talk to him, but with no results. He was catatonic.

"Mike, Mike wake up, it's Dad," he said softly.

"Come back to us, sweetheart."

His eyes didn't blink and were glassy, it was like he was in a waking coma. After the first hour, Dr. Lace returned. More hours passed, and their worry only increased. But finally, as the sun was going down, he blinked and uncurled himself.

"Thank goodness you're back," said Holly as she threw her arms around him. He had no idea why she was doing it, but he hugged her back all the same.

"What going on? Why am I not hypnotized anymore?"

"The hypnotism brought out some old memories and triggered one of your half-formed personalities," said Dr. Lace. "It broke through the window and ran away-"

"I broke a window? I'm so sorry, I'll pay you back-"

"No, I won't hear of it. I'm the one who triggered that personality, it was no fault of yours. But I'll be replacing it with shatterproof glass. Anyway, we found it and brought it back here, and it's taken hours for you to come back. We won't be doing anymore hypnotism or anything else to retrieve your memories."

"But why? We were making progress, I was starting to remember things."

"If this is what it does to you, then it's not worth it. Your health is more important. I know you want to continue, but if it causes you harm, then we can't."

"All right, we won't do it anymore." He gasped and said, "Did I miss the talent show?"

"It would have started by now, but it's not over yet," said Jack.

"We've got to go, I don't want to miss it!"

"Mike no, you need to rest," said Holly.

"I feel fine, really I do." He smiled reassuringly to show her that he meant it. "I want to play in the talent show, I've been practicing so much, I don't want all that hard work to go to waste. Please let me go Mom, please?"

"Let him go, Hol. He's right, he has worked hard for this. And he says he feels fine."

"I don't know about this. Doctor, what do you think? Will it just make him worse?'

"You won't be juggling fireballs, will you?" asked Dr. Lace with a smile.

"No, I'm just playing the piano. I'll shoot for juggling fireballs next time," said Mike as he returned her smile.

"Well then, as long as you're not overexerting yourself you should be just fine. No extra stress today, just take it easy, and good luck."

"Thanks, doctor."

"If you start feeling like something's wrong, tell us and we're going straight home, okay?" said Holly.

"Okay. Now let's go, I need to change and get my music! Bye Dr. Lace!" said Mike as he dashed out the door.

The second they got home he changed into a suit at light speed and grabbed his sheet music. He was ready to go in five minutes flat.

They made it to the school just as the last performances were on, Mike had gotten there just in time. He was the last act, and when it was his turn he got up on the stage and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Part of him was telling him to bolt for the door before he embarrassed himself, but he wouldn't let himself quit.

He sat down at the piano and put up his music. It was the theme from _Love Story_, a difficult piece that he had mastered after weeks of practice.

He started playing and didn't let himself think about what he was doing at all. If he thought about the notes or where his fingers were, he would mess up for sure. He relaxed and didn't think about it and let the melody carry him, and he pulled it off almost perfectly.

The audience applauded him, and he couldn't stop smiling. He spotted Jack and Holly in the crowd, on their feet applauding him louder than anyone else.

After the show ended, they took Mike to a pizza restaurant.

"Are you sure we shouldn't just go home?" asked Mike. Going out to eat almost always caused an argument between his alters. If he was lucky, they would keep it inside his head. If he wasn't, they would come out and change his order to whatever they wanted. He didn't want to embarrass his parents. Why did their tastes have to be so different?

"This is your special night Mike, you've earned this," said Jack as he clapped him on the shoulder.

They went to the buffet, and though his alters made a loud racket inside his head, none of them took over. He took a couple slices of pepperoni pizza and they found a table. Mike sat across from them and started to eat.

"You did so well tonight, Mike," said Holly, smiling.

"You stole the whole show, son," said Jack.

"It feels good to know that I'm good at something. Me, not the others."

"But even if you couldn't play an instrument, it wouldn't make you any less cool. You don't have to have an amazing talent to be worth something," said Jack.

"I know, but I still like having my own talents."

A couple passed by them, kissing like they were stuck to each other at the lips.

"How did you guys meet?" asked Mike curiously.

"Oh, you don't want to hear about that," said Jack, blushing slightly.

"No, I really do. Was it really romantic?"

"Holly bought me from a circus and kept me as a pet," said Jack.

Mike laughed, and Holly said, "Actually, it started when we were in high school. Our friends set us up on a blind double date. I was set up with a guy named Dale, and Jack was set up with a girl named Rachel."

"Back then, Holly had long hair and she curled it, and I wore contact lenses instead of glasses. We were just as good-looking back then as we are today."

"We went out to eat, and I wasn't really feeling any sparks with Dale, but apparently he was feeling a lot of sparks with Rachel. After dinner, he drove us to the edge of a cliff teenagers used as a place for making out and, um, other things. Our dates ditched us and started making out on the hood of the car, right where we could see everything. Needless to say, I thought the date was a disaster. I was sitting in the passenger seat and Jack was in the back. At first it was extremely awkward, I mean, I was alone in the car with Jack Skinner, a boy I'd never spoken to before in my life. We had conflicting class schedules, so I barely knew he existed, and I think it was the same on his side, too. I was seriously considering just getting out of the car and walking home, but then I caught his eye in the rearview mirror and I thought to myself, 'He's kinda cute.'"

"She didn't even mind that I'm a dwarf."

"You're not a dwarf, I'm just tall. We got out of the car and walked home together, partly to get to know each other better, and partly to give the lovebirds some room. We started talking about school and our friends and our interests. We found that we were very different, practically polar opposites, but strangely it didn't seem to matter very much. He made me laugh with his jokes as we walked home. The walk home was very long and lasted over an hour, but the time just seemed to disappear. We were able to take an awful date and turn it into something magical. When he dropped me off at my house, there was no goodnight kiss or anything romantic, but I knew I wanted to see him again. After that date we saw each other every now and again, and I kept waiting for him to ask me out, but it took him an eternity."

"I don't like rushing things, I like to let them play out so it's natural. I liked Holly, but I wanted to make sure she was the right one. I had dated other girls before, but none of them made a lasting impression. It didn't help when she went on a date with Victor Wise, the captain of the football team and the hottest guy in school."

"I was trying to make you jealous so you'd quit dragging your feet."

"Well, it backfired, it just made me even more reluctant to ask you out."

"Trust me, I know, lesson learned. But I do wonder whatever happened to Victor, haven't heard anything about him since we moved here."

"Don't be getting any ideas, the ring means you're stuck with me."

"I'm just teasing, you make it way too easy."

"Anyway, I eventually decided that she was the girl for me and I asked her out, though not nearly fast enough for her liking, apparently. We went to see a movie."

"He brought me flowers like a true gentleman, it was so romantic. We saw each other every day after that until we were married. We got engaged before we went off to college, and we decided to wait until we had both graduated before we got married, and the wait was worth it," said Holly as she smiled at her husband.

"Wow, and you've been in love ever since then?" asked Mike.

"Well, we've had some close calls," said Holly as Jack put an arm around her. "No marriage is ever perfect, and there are downsides to marrying your opposite, but we always managed to hang on and keep going, though there were a few times when we really didn't want to. I'm glad we did, I can't imagine life without this guy, though there have been times in the past when I wanted to kill him."

"Ditto," said Jack, and he gave her a quick kiss.

"How long have you been married?"

"Twelve years on our next anniversary," said Jack. "Boy, how time flies. It feels like just yesterday when I asked you to marry me and you said yes. I wasn't really prepared for you to agree, I had braced myself for a no and so I wasn't really sure what to do with a yes. I remember asking myself, what have I done? But as terrified as I was, there was no way I was going to let a gal like Holly slip through my fingers. We got hitched, and we have no plans to change that any time soon."

"I hope someday I find someone special like you guys did."

They ordered some ice cream and talked a while longer. At one point, Mike broached a topic he had been thinking about for some time.

"Do you think you'll ever adopt any more kids?"

Jack and Holly exchanged meaningful glances. "Why do you ask, son?"

"Well, I was just thinking about how cool it would be to have a little sibling, I could be a big brother. Or, you could adopt an older kid and I'd have a big brother or sister, someone to look up to."

"Well Mike, as much as we would love another child, we aren't looking to adopt any more," said Holly delicately. She had to choose her words carefully here. "We love you so much that we can't imagine loving another child as much as you. You're all we need, our little family is perfect just the way it is."

"Oh, okay," said Mike, a little disappointed.

Jack, thinking quickly, said, "But you know what, since your birthday is coming up soon, I was thinking of taking you to the animal shelter to pick out a dog. Every boy should have a dog."

Mike brightened and he said, "I would love a dog."

"Then it's settled, we're adopting a dog."

They finished their ice cream and went home. Mike really did feel fine, but he was very tired and a bit drained from the events of the day. He went to bed earlier than usual, and Jack and Holly went upstairs to their room to talk.

"You know, maybe we could adopt another kid, just one more," said Holly. "A teenager, someone who wouldn't need too much maintenance. We could handle that, right?"

"We've already talked about this, it wouldn't be a good idea."

"I know, but Mike really wants a sibling, and I'd love another kid, too."

"So would I, I always wanted a big family, but in our situation I don't think it would be very wise. We have to make sure his personalities don't do anything too reckless and we have to always be on high alert to try to keep them from coming out in the first place. Not to mention, with his doctor bills and medication, we don't have a lot of money left over. But the thing that concerns me the most is, would we be able to give another child the attention they need? Mike needs so much attention. In a family, everyone is supposed to get equal amounts of attention, but I don't think that would be possible for us. I don't want a kid thinking they're not loved because we can't give them enough attention, it just wouldn't be fair to them. They would resent us for it, and they would resent Mike."

"I know, I know. It's just wishful thinking. Good thinking on the dog thing, I think a pet would be very therapeutic for Mike."

"I'll take him out tomorrow to the shelter, let him have an early birthday present."

"Try to get something sturdy, something that won't die and will last a very long time. Something that won't run away all the time like the cat."

"Will do."

* * *

The next day, Jack took Mike to the animal shelter. As soon as they were inside and allowed to see the animals, he ran to the cages grinning ear to ear.

The first dog he saw was a black Labrador. It licked his fingers as he pet its fur. The next was a golden retriever, and he giggled as it licked his face. He moved on to a beagle that wagged its tail wildly when he approached.

"I don't know which one to choose, I love them all," said Mike as the beagle licked his fingers.

"As much as I would love to bring all these pooches home with us, you're going to have to settle for just one today, sport."

Mike spotted a border collie next. It was a puppy, but it had a limp.

"What's wrong with his leg?" asked Mike.

An animal caretaker said, "That's Satchimo, he's a runt, and he was born with a bad leg. The rest of the litter was healthy, he was just unlucky, I guess. No one wants to adopt him because of it."

Mike watched as the dog ran around in his cage chasing his tail. Running was difficult for him, but he wasn't letting it stop him from having fun. It's like the dog didn't even know there was anything wrong with him.

"I want him."

"Are you sure, kid?" asked the caretaker. "Wouldn't you rather have another dog, one that can play with you?"

"He looks like he can play just fine. What do you think, Dad?"

Jack got down on his knees and opened the cage. He picked up the tiny dog and scratched behind his ears. The dog licked both him and Mike. "I think Satch is a keeper."

Mike signed the paper to adopt the dog, and then they drove him home.

"So, are you going to rename him or call him by the name they gave him?" asked Jack.

"I think I'll keep it. It's sort of an odd name, but I think it suits him."

"It's better than the name we gave my dog growing up, that's for sure."

"What was the name of your dog?"

"Kitty."

"Why would you name a dog kitty?"

"He was the biggest, meanest looking dog you've ever seen. But he wouldn't hurt a fly, he was the nicest dog in the world. He was a really bad guard dog. We called him Kitty because we'd go, 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty!' and a giant dog would come running at you at full speed. It confused and scared a lot of people, when he would run to you it looked like a bear was coming to eat you. From a distance, he looked like bigfoot."

Mike took Satchimo out to the backyard. He found a stick and threw it for him to fetch.

"Get the stick, Satchimo! Fetch!"

Satchimo ran after the ball. He nearly tripped several times, but he was able to retrieve the stick and bring it back to Mike.

"You already know how to play fetch? You're really smart."

He threw the stick over and over and Satchimo fetched it every time. They played for hours, Mike couldn't remember the last time he'd had so much fun.

That night, Satchimo came inside to sleep on his bed. Holly had planned to make him keep him outside so he wouldn't make a mess, but seeing the puppy sleeping on top of Mike was too cute for her to handle, so she let them be.

* * *

A few weeks later, Holly heard about a new drug that was being tested for people with MPD called Cortexifol. Over the course of six months to a year, it was supposed to make the alternate personalities unify with the host, leaving only one personality. Needless to say, Holly was intrigued.

She wondered if it was the right thing. She and Jack were getting to know Mike's alters better. Svetlana was fair and content and didn't take control from Mike too often. Manitoba and Vito were difficult, but they could be reasoned with. Chester wasn't too much of a problem, only in school when Mike got frustrated, usually at school. It seemed incredible, but she was actually fond of Mike's alters, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to see them go. But it would greatly improve Mike's life, and that trumped everything else.

She talked to Jack about it first. They were holding free trials of the drug that would start soon. He seemed to have the same thoughts on it as she did. They researched it to see if it was safe, and then decided they would let Mike decide if he wanted to try it or not.

"This drug will cure me?" he asked. They were sitting in the living room.

"It's supposed to, it's not guaranteed, though," said Holly. "If it does, you won't have multiple personalities anymore. How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. They've been my only friends for so long now, I can't imagine life without them. What would happen to them, if they do go away? Would it be like I was murdering them? I can't murder them."

"It wouldn't be murder, son. I don't know exactly what would happen or how it would work, but I figure they would still be part of you," said Jack.

"If I didn't have multiple personalities, people wouldn't be creeped out by me anymore. No one would laugh at me or make fun of me or pick on me. I wouldn't have to worry about failing anymore tests because of them."

_Lucy wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with me,_ _she might give me a chance,_ he thought privately.

"I could make all my own decisions, and hear only my own voice in my head… I want to try the drug. Even if it doesn't work, I have to try."

"Are you completely sure, Mike?" asked Holly.

"Yes, I'm completely sure. This could get me my life back."

Three weeks later, they were at the clinic holding the trials. Mike could hardly contain his excitement. The other personalities weren't so enthusiastic.

"_Svetlana cannot be believing zis! How could Mike be getting rid of us, after all ve have been through together? Ve are his family, and he vants us to go away? Forever?" _

"_Dang kid, no loyalty or respect or nothing. Kicking us to the curb like garbage."_

"_Does that stupid kid really think he can get rid of the Vito this easy? If he expects me to go down without a fight, he's got another thing coming."_

"_There's always the chance that the drug might not work, in which case we'd have nothing to worry about. Either way, I'm gonna teach that dingo a lesson, you just watch me."_

In the doctor's office, Mike had to have an MRI. He hated having to be in such a tiny space for so long, but he distracted himself by thinking of riding his bike and drawing pictures, and he pictured relaxing things in his mind. It wasn't easy, but he survived.

After the scan was finished, he was given a shot of a clear liquid with a bluish tinge. The shot hurt, but shots didn't really bother him anymore. He was sent home with instructions to take it easy and to not overexert himself. They told Holly to call them if they had any trouble, and to come back in a week for a checkup and his next dose.

For the first week, Mike did well. He didn't show any signs of the drug having an adverse effect on his system. When it was time for his next appointment, he was even more eager than before.

The other personalities could already feel its effects. They felt weaker, but only slightly. It was terrifying for them, to feel themselves starting to fade. They launched an attack from inside his mind. They didn't take control, but they fought from the inside. They yelled at Mike and demanded he stop taking the drug, and they pounded on the walls of his subconscious. They wouldn't let up, they kept up the assault at all times, so Mike was unable to get any rest at all.

Mal was mostly indifferent to the whole thing. He didn't want to die, but he wasn't scared of it, either. Alive, dead, it was all the same to him. He knew Mike would probably have bad symptoms from it, and that the other alters were losing their minds over the prospect of nonexistence, so that kept him entertained. But he also took advantage of the situation to make him feel extra miserable. He talked to Mike, whispering things that either he hadn't considered or already believed about himself. Mike's self-esteem was already low, Mal's hurtful words only made it worse. He did this often to pass the time, but he spoke louder and sent out more whispers than usual. They only worked if Mike was already feeling really low.

"_At least with alternate personalities you won't ever be lonely. Get rid of us and what have you got? You'd be just Mike, and just Mike isn't good enough for anyone. At least your personalities have amazing talents, what can you do? Draw mediocre pictures and bang on a piano, that's it. Without us, no would ever even spare you a passing glance. With us, at least you won't be forgotten. You might not be remembered fondly, but you'll be remembered."_

"_There's no such thing as true love, but even if there was you'd never find it. Personalities or not, who would ever want you? Even if you ever do find a girl to like you, she would have to be the most desperate girl on the planet. I would just give up if I were you. You're better off alone."_

"_Even if you do get rid of your disorder, nothing will change, no one will suddenly start to like you. Once a freak, always a freak."_

He started displaying other symptoms too, but these weren't caused by his personalities. He had no appetite, he had to make himself eat a little when Holly brought meals up to his room. He couldn't stand up without feeling dizzy, and he started getting migraines that lasted for days, so he had to stay in bed. He couldn't go to school and so they tried to help him do his work at home for a while, but there was only so much he could do in that state. Satchimo was there to comfort him, though.

"Good dog," said Mike affectionately as he rubbed his ears. Satchimo was lying by his side in bed, licking his hand. His dog stayed in bed with him until he recovered, and he felt much better with him around. He almost made him forget he was sick.

Holly called and reported his symptoms. They told her that other patients were experiencing them as well and that he would recover soon. She wasn't sure what she should do: take him off the drug to spare him the sickness but condemn him to life with his disorder? Or let him suffer a while longer so that he could maybe live a normal life? They decided to give it another go, and a nurse came to their house to give him his next shot since he couldn't come there.

During the third week, Mike's symptoms steadily became less severe, and he started to recover, just like the physicians said he would. He was able to go back to school. By this point, the alters had begun to accept their fate.

"_Well, not existing is better than having to listen to rock and/or roll music. I won't have to deal with anymore punks and their wild dancing."_

"_It vill be better for Mike zis way, maybe he vill be happier if he is alone."_

"_Can't say I blame the bugger, though I do wish he'd change his mind."_

"_I just wish I could have hooked up with a supermodel first."_

After a month on the drug, Mike started having doubts. He wasn't sick anymore, and the others had finally let up on their assault, but now they weren't talking to him at all. He didn't know if the drug had silenced them, or if they just didn't want to talk to him anymore. Either way, he didn't like it. He wasn't used to silence, it was too quiet for him.

He looked at his room, it had changed a lot since he'd first moved in. When he'd first moved in, the walls had been white and empty. Now they were painted turquoise, and there were posters hanging of his favorite movies. There was a picture on his bedside table of him with his parents, and on his dresser there were lego sets of planes, spaceships, and other cool things. He'd built them to keep his hands busy. His backpack was lying in the corner, next to a stack of his favorite books. His dog was sitting by his side, sleeping. All these things and more showed that he lived here, that he existed. But he wasn't the only one. Awards for gymnastics, ballet, figure skating, and ribbon dancing hung on the walls. By his dresser there were dumbbells, and there were a couple slips of paper on his dresser with numbers from girls he'd never met that he needed to throw away. There was a fedora hanging on the bedpost, and a cane by the window. Manitoba's treasure was buried outside, and Vito's skateboard was in the driveway. His personalities had left their mark, they were real, and he didn't think he could live with himself if he got rid of them.

"Mom, Dad, I don't think I want to take Cortexifol anymore," he said one night at the dinner table.

"Why not, sport? Are you feeling sick again?"

"No, it's not that. The others haven't been talking to me lately, I'm worried about them."

"That's just the medicine doing its job," said Holly. "Isn't this a good thing? I thought it was what you wanted."

"I thought so too, but I don't like the quiet."

"You'll get used to it eventually. I know it must be unnerving right now, but after a while you won't miss it."

"But I do miss it, I miss them. If I am cured, it won't guarantee that I'll be able to make friends. With the others around, I always have friends. It would be so lonely without them. Life might be easier if it was just me, but I feel bad about what I'm doing to them."

"Mike, we won't force you to keep using the drug, but you need to make absolutely certain that this is what you want," said Jack. "This is your life, not theirs. I know you care about them, but you need to do what's best for you."

"Think about it for three days," said Holly. "Think long and hard about the pros and cons of each option, but don't make any decisions until the three days are up. By then it'll be time for your next appointment. I don't think we can stop cold turkey anyway, they would probably have to wean you off it by giving you smaller doses."

"Okay, I'll wait. But what do you think? What would you do if you were in my place?"

"I can't say," said Jack. "It's impossible for me to imagine what MPD is like without experiencing it for myself. I suppose I'd want to be cured, but I don't know."

"If it were up to you, would you want me to keep using the drug?"

"If it's what's best for you, then we would keep you on it. We want you to be happy and healthy, that's all we want," said Holly.

Mike thought about it for three days. He felt so conflicted: on one hand, he wanted his mind to belong to him and him alone. On the other, his alters were the only friends he had. As far as he knew, they had always been with him, and he would miss them terribly if they were gone.

"I don't want to get rid of my personalities," he told them after the three days were up. "I want to stop taking Cortexifol. I'm completely sure."

Jack and Holly didn't argue, but they did wonder if this was a mistake. They informed the doctors that he wanted to stop, and they lowered his dosage and weaned him off.

Six months later, they heard online that the drug was a failure. No one suffered any long-lasting side effects, but no one was cured of their disorder, either. Even if Mike had chosen to stay on the drug, nothing would have changed. They weren't sure how to feel about it.

* * *

For Mike's fourteenth birthday, they stayed in a hotel by the beach for the weekend. It had been a while since Jack and Holly had gotten to go on any vacations, and it was Mike's first time. The weather was perfect during their entire stay; it wasn't too hot, and there was no rain or storms.

On their first night in the hotel, Jack baked a chocolate cake and Holly decorated it. Mike thought he was too old to be blowing out candles on the birthday cake, but he went along with it anyway and blew them out.

The trouble was, Vito would take over for a few hours each day to go surfing, tanning, and flirting. They tried to combat this by getting shirts on and off Mike as quickly as possible, and he had to wear a shirt while swimming. They also tried to pick parts of the beach that were empty, or as close to empty as possible.

"Where are all the sexy babes? What's a beach party without smokin' hot chicks?" he asked in frustration.

"Maybe they'll be out tomorrow," said Holly from their beach blanket.

Vito wasn't as resistant to letting Mike have control when there were no girls around to impress.

Manitoba also tried to come out, because being by the open sea made him want to sail in a boat to the end of the world.

"Manitoba, you can't sail to the edge of the world, it's not flat," said Jack as he had to physically hold him back from swimming out to a boat sailing on the water.

"How would you know that? Who's the explorer here?"

They couldn't keep them in all the time, but they didn't hog all of Mike's time, either. When Mike was in control, they played frisbee and made sandcastles. They buried Mike in the sand and built a castle over him. Mike dug a little hole in the sand and filled it with water. He caught some fish that were smaller than his fingers, along with tiny hermit crabs and put them in the water, and he had a little aquarium. He decorated it with some of the shells he had collected.

One day they went fishing. Jack showed Mike what types of bait worked best and how to secure them to the line, and Holly showed him the best way to cast so it would go out far. They only caught dogfish, which looked like baby sharks.

"Does this mean there are bigger sharks out there?" asked Mike the first time he caught one. He was proud of himself for catching it, but it was worrisome.

"No, there are no sharks here, the water isn't deep enough," said Holly. "You have nothing to fear."

Mike was relieved, and he went back to fishing.

They took long walks up and down the beach, and they collected new shells for Holly's collection. They brought Satchimo along with them, and they played fetch on the sand and in the water.

They went snorkeling, as well. Mike marveled at all the colorful fish that swam past. They saw a few jellyfish, but they were tiny and didn't come too close. They saw some dolphins in the distance, and a sea turtle swam right up to them. Mike held onto it and it pulled him through the water.

Every night, they would go crab hunting. They took their flashlights and nets and scanned the shore for crabs. Every time one was spotted, they would chase it and try to catch it before it made it to its hole in the sand.

"Behind you, Mike! Don't let it get away!" said Jack.

Mike chased the crab, but it was too fast and it escaped into its hole in the sand. But he saw another and ran after it, and managed to catch it just before it got away.

"I caught it, and it's a big one!" said Mike as he looked at in the net. It scurried around trying to escape. He didn't keep it long and let it go, and then he spotted another one and chased it.

At the end of every day, they would sit on the sand and watch the sun go down over the water. The way the reds and oranges reflected on the water was absolutely stunning. Mike made sure to memorize what it looked like, because it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he knew no photo or painting could ever do it justice.

* * *

When Mike entered ninth grade, he joined the drama club at school. He auditioned for the first two plays but each time he was glanced over and given jobs behind the scenes. But when he auditioned for the third play, the casting manager made a mistake and accidentally let him in, and after names were posted it was too late to correct it, so Mike was given one of the lead roles in their production of _Sweeney Todd_. He would be playing Anthony, and Lucy, to his excitement and horror, was playing his love interest, Johanna.

He was given a script to practice at home, and he started working on his English accent and practicing his singing. He was surprised that he was able to sing well, he hadn't ever really done it before getting this role. One of his favorite things about acting was that it allowed him to slip into someone else's shoes temporarily, he could deal with their problems instead of his own.

As he practiced singing the song "Johanna" he waltzed in his room, pretending he was dancing with the girl he loved. Was that girl Lucy? He wasn't sure. When he tried to picture a face for his invisible partner, he drew a blank. He tried to picture Lucy, but it didn't feel natural for some reason.

During this time, Mike started going through a growth spurt. When they had first found him when he was ten, he was tall for his age, but he hadn't grown much since then and he was shorter than everyone else. But this growth spurt had him growing so much that he outgrew his costume and they had to have Wendy come down and tailor it for him.

"I always knew you'd be a tall one, hold still, you're too squirmy," she said as she swatted his hand. They were standing in the kitchen while she took his measurements.

"You need to stop growing, Mike," said Jack. He was sitting at the table having lunch. "I know you're going to be way taller than me, you already almost are and you've barely begun to grow. You make me feel like a midget, you and your mother both."

"I'm sorry you have to live in a house of giants, Jackie," said Wendy. "Maybe someday you'll finally hit that growth spurt."

"I liked it better when you were smaller, back then I could pretend I was tall," he said with a laugh.

"But now I won't ever be able to play a munchkin, and that's my dream role," he said sadly, making them both laugh.

Wendy said, "So who's the girl playing Johanna? She'd better treat you right, or I'll become absolutely monstrous. I'll never be too old to look after my boys."

"Nana, it's just a play, not marriage." Thinking of marriage made Mike blush.

"You don't need to be looking for a girlfriend or a wife, Mike," Wendy continued. "You're perfect just the way you are, adding someone else to the picture would do you no favors."

"Nana, if I had taken that advice, Mike wouldn't be here now," said Jack. "And I wouldn't be here either if your son had listened to you."

"Yes, the only good things to come out of it," said Wendy as she patted his cheek. Jack just rolled his eyes.

Wendy finished and said, "That should do it, you're going to look so handsome. I'll have your costume ready in a few days, but at the rate you're growing it'll be too short again by then."

"I'll try to contain it," said Mike with a grin. He liked the feeling of being taller.

"Where are you staying, Nana?" asked Jack.

"I'm going to rent a room at the hotel downtown."

"Wait Nana, you should stay here with us," said Mike. "You can sleep in my room, I'll sleep on the couch."

"Nonsense, I'm not about to kick my great-grandson out of his room."

"But this way we can spend more time together. I really don't mind the couch, won't you please stay with us, just until my play?"

"Oh all right, but only for you. But if you want your room back before then, just say the word and I'll hit the road, I don't want to overstay my welcome."

Giving up his bed was a small price to pay to get to spend a few days with his grandmother. She was the only person he could practice his lines in front of without feeling self-conscious. She gave him tips and pointers that really helped and improved his acting and singing.

"Now that's enough practicing for today, I don't want you to lose your voice right before the show. Now, let's ditch the old people and go do something fun."

Mike thought it was funny how she referred to every adult as "old people." She had such a young spirit he supposed that everyone else did seem old to her.

During play practice, he didn't speak much unless he was getting directions from the director or practicing dialogue with another actor. He couldn't tell how Lucy felt about playing his love interest, her face stayed blank through practice and was impossible to read. There were no kissing scenes, which was both a relief and a disappointment. He looked forward to and dreaded each scene with her, fearing that either one of his personalities would appear and ruin everything or he would ruin it without their help.

But it was the strangest thing, during practice he didn't mess up his lines or trip over his own feet or break any props. He was nervous, but once in character, he could pretend he wasn't nervous. He was anxious, but at the same time it was like a calm settled over him and he could recite his lines and give off the appropriate emotion without hardly thinking about it. He didn't understand it, but he didn't question it.

On the night of the play, Mike was more nervous than ever, but he was still able to pretend to be calm. He had to open the play with the first song, he had to get it right.

"I have sailed the world, and seen its wonders,

From the Dardanelles, to the mountains of Peru.

But there's no place like London!"

He sang with Sweeney Todd and gave his lines with no difficulty. He saw his parents and grandparents in the audience, which bolstered his confidence. A little later, from backstage, he listened as Lucy sang.

"Green finch and linnet bird,

Nightingale, blackbird,

How is it you sing?"

Her voice was like wind chimes, and he swooned. He had heard her sing this song dozens of times during practice, but it never ceased to set his heart aflutter.

"My cage has many rooms,

Damask and dark.

Nothing there sings,

Not even my lark.

Larks never will, you know,

When they're captive.

Teach me to be more adaptive.

Green finch and linnet bird,

Nightingale, blackbird,

Teach me how to sing.

If I cannot fly,

Let me sing."

When it was time, he went out on the stage to sing "Johanna." This was the scene that could make or break him, because it was just him by himself.

"I feel you, Johanna, I feel you.

I was half convinced I'd waken,

Satisfied enough to dream you.

Happily I was mistaken, Johanna.

I'll steal you, Johanna,

I'll steal you.

Do they think that walls could hide you?

Even now, I'm at your window.

I am in the dark beside you,

Buried sweetly in your yellow hair!

I feel you, Johanna,

And one day I'll steal you!

Til I'm with you then,

I'm with you there,

Sweetly buried in your yellow hair!"

He couldn't believe it when he actually got an applause. It wasn't as loud as the applause the others got, but they were actually clapping for him, they enjoyed his performance. It was unbelievable.

Between his scenes, Mike marveled at how so far none of his alters had shown up. Maybe it had something to do with his mindset during acting. He didn't know, but he was grateful for it. But the play wasn't over yet.

When it came time for the scene where Anthony rescues Johanna from the asylum, he felt a strange sort of confidence, he felt like a hero. As he delivered his lines and escaped with her, he imagined what it would be like if Lucy really was in danger and he saved her, like in a fairytale. He kept this all to himself, of course.

Then it came time for his final scene with Johanna. Before he went onstage his hands were trembling, but he managed to control them and put on an air of confidence he didn't feel. He couldn't stop his heart from racing as he held Lucy's hands, it was beating so hard it felt like it was coming out of his chest.

"You wait for him here, I'll return with a coach in less than half an hour," he said. "Don't worry, no one'll recognize you. You're safe now."

"Safe? So, we run away and then all our dreams come true?"

"I hope so."

"I've never had dreams. Only nightmares."

"Johanna, when we're free of this place, all the ghosts will go away."

"No, Anthony. They never go away." The way she looked at him in that moment, as though he really was saving her, it made the whole thing feel so real.

"I'll be right back to you. Half an hour and we'll be free."

He went backstage, his role finished. However, it wasn't over yet. One of his personalities could still come out as they all took their bows before the audience and ruin the show.

A few minutes later, Lucy came backstage, as well. She didn't so much as look at him as she passed by, but he didn't mind, he was still riding the high of holding her hands, even if it was just an act.

The play ended and they all took their bows. Mike couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. He'd gotten a big part in a play, none of his personalities screwed it up, the crowd liked his performance, and he got to be around Lucy. Everything had gone better than he'd ever dared hope.

"That was awesome man, high five!" said Trent, the boy who had played Sweeney Todd. They had never before spoken outside of play practice. Trent was one of the coolest kids in school, and he was always surrounded by his several friends. He high-fived him, amazed that one of the cool kids was talking to him. "You blew us all away up there, I was impressed."

"Thanks, Trent. You were great as Sweeney Todd, you were really convincing."

"Is it a compliment or an insult when people tell you you play a serial killer well? I can never tell." They both laughed at that. "I didn't even audition, they just cast me in it. I'm not sure if it's because I'm popular or because they think I'll be mass murderer someday."

"Maybe both."

"Maybe. Acting was fun, but I think from now on I'll stick with band. It's always great to try new things, though. You should definitely stay in drama though, you didn't seem like you at all, it's like you really were Anthony. No one else in drama club is as good at method acting as you are, you should make a career out of it."

"I plan to, I mean, I hope I'm good enough."

"Anyway, at least this was a learning experience for us all. Now we all know how to make fake blood, in case we ever have an emergency that requires it."

"You can never be too prepared, and there are so many uses for it."

"I can't believe you got to play Lucy's lover, most of the guys were not too pleased about that. You know, you should ask her out. If you play a couple in a play, then it must be a sign of providence that it's meant to be."

"I don't think it's a sign, but I'm thinking about it."

"Okay. Well, see you around, Mike. We should hang out sometime."

"See you later."

Everything in the play tonight had gone right, it had even motivated someone to speak to him, someone who had never spoken to him before. He took that as a sign of providence that he was meant to be an actor. The director gave him many more important roles after that, and he felt his confidence lift a little.


	17. The Race

Mike tried at least once a week to follow his father's advice about talking to Lucy. Her locker was right next to his. Most of the time, he would take a step in her direction, but would quickly turn away to avoid failure. On some days, however, he would actually work up the courage to speak to her in the hallway. Encouraged by the Sweeney Todd play, he decided he would finally go for it.

"Hi, Lucy," he said one day. "How are you today?"

She turned her head to look at him, and in that second he over-analyzed everything he had just said and everything he wanted to say to keep from sounding desperate or stupid. Sounding desperate or stupid would just push her away even further.

"I'm fine, how are you?" she replied politely.

"Good, I'm good. And I'm glad you're fine, not that you have a reason not to be." He internally kicked himself; why couldn't his brain function when he needed it to the most? "You look very pretty today. I mean, not that you normally don't look pretty, but… um… you look nice."

"Um, thanks."

There was an awkward silence. Mike wasn't sure what he should say next. Lucy said, "Well, I should get to class. See you, Mike."

"Wait, just wait a second." He took a deep breath, he was going to do it, he was going to ask her out. He couldn't live with himself if he never tried. "Would you… would you like to go out sometime, with me?"

She stifled a laugh and said, "Sorry Mike, but no. You're a good actor, you're hot, but the answer is no. You understand why, right?"

"Yeah, yeah I know." He blushed and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Do you think we could at least be friends?"

She hesitated and bit her lip. "Sure, we can be friends." Even as she said it, he knew she didn't mean it.

She turned and went to class. He followed her and they took their seats in science class. As the teacher began the lecture, Mike was dealing with the disappointment of rejection. It wasn't unexpected, but it still hurt. At least he could be satisfied in knowing that he had tried. Not only that, but she had said he was hot, which meant that she might date him if he didn't have MPD. He might have a real chance with her, if not for his disorder.

The more Mike thought about it, the more determined he became to do something about it. He got the idea that maybe his medication was holding him back, and that if he stopped using it, he could learn to control his alters on his own.

After school that day, when he was supposed to take his medication, he only took half the dosage he was supposed to take. He knew it would be unwise to just stop cold turkey, so he would wean himself off it over the next few days.

By the next week, he had completely stopped taking his meds. At first, he felt no change, and that encouraged him. He took it as a sign that he was doing the right thing and that his plan would work.

But a few days later, he started feeling a dip in his mood. It started out simple, he just had some trouble sleeping, but nothing major. He ignored this easily.

But then he started to feel more anxious and depressed than usual. He first noticed it at school, and he brushed it off. Of course he was going to feel anxious at school, everyone did. He became fidgety and jittery in class, and Chester started coming out even more. He started feeling nervous at home too, and he had trouble focusing on homework, but he chose to look the other way.

He also started losing patience with his parents. He loved talking to them and spending time with them, but now he just wanted to be left alone.

"Hey Mike, how was school today?" asked Jack as Mike came inside.

"Fine," Mike replied. Satchimo ran up to him and tried to get his attention, but he ignored him. His parents thought that was odd.

"Just fine?"

"Nothing to report."

"Mike, you haven't talked to us in days, what's wrong?" asked Holly.

"Nothing's wrong, I just don't feel like talking," he snapped.

"You've been acting strange lately, what's going on?"

"Nothing, everything's fine."

"Mike, please talk to us."

"Just leave me alone, okay? Get off my back!"

He regretted the words the second they left his mouth. Jack and Holly looked hurt, he had never raised his voice or yelled at them before.

"I'm sorry," he said before he ran up the stairs. He shut the door and locked it.

Jack and Holly left him alone the rest of the evening. They felt it would be best if they did what he asked and gave him some space for a while. If this behavior continued, they would talk to him about it.

Up in his room, Mike considered taking his medication, but then he would be a quitter. If he gave up now, he'd never be free of the pills. He was sure that if he could just be strong enough for just a little while longer, he wouldn't need to take any medication ever again. If he quit now, it would mean he was weak.

He was already feeling anxious, but it gradually got worse and worse. He started having trouble breathing, and he realized that he was having an anxiety attack. His vision blurred and he started blacking in and out of consciousness. Inside his mind he could hear dozens of voices screaming and wailing at him. It was worse than a rake on a chalkboard, and he couldn't make it stop.

"Mike? Mike, what's going on? Why are you screaming?" he heard Holly say from outside the door.

He wasn't aware that he was screaming. He was only aware of those wretched voices.

"Mike, let us in, son! Unlock the door!" said Jack.

They heard a crash, and Jack took the key above the door, the one they kept for emergencies like this, and opened it. The lamp was broken on the floor, and Mike was on the floor by it, his body convulsing.

Jack ran to the bathroom to get his medication and Holly got down on the floor to hold him and try to bring him back to himself.

"Can you hear me, Mike? Come back to me, baby. You can do it, listen to my voice and find your way back."

Mike gasped and said, "The circus is in town, I'm going to the circus!"

Holly recognized it as Carrot Top. This was the third time that she had seen him, though she knew he had come out more often than that. She went along with what he was saying. "You're going to the circus? Have you ever been there before?"

"No, this is my first time!" He leapt off the floor and started jumping on the bed. "It's a present for my sixth birthday!"

His excitement died when he saw Jack. He crawled under the bed and said, "Daddy's here, he's going to ruin my fun like he did last time."

"Mike, please come out," said Holly.

"Not until he's gone!"

Jack didn't have to be told twice. He left the room, leaving Holly alone with Mike. "He's gone, you can come out now."

He peeked out to see if she was telling the truth, and then he slowly crawled back out.

"What did your daddy do to you?"

"Can't tell, promised I wouldn't tell, he'll get mad at me if I tell," he said as he bit his thumb and started pacing around the room. She noticed he started walking with a limp, favoring his right leg. "I'm not a tattletale, I'm not a tattletale."

"He doesn't ever have to know that you told me. If you do, I'll keep it a secret and I won't tell anyone so you don't get in trouble."

"There's clowns at the circus, and cotton candy," he mumbled to himself nervously. He always did this to avoid questions he didn't like.

"I only want to help you."

"Elephants too, and fireworks."

"I would never do anything to get you into trouble."

"There's lions in the circus, Daddy was like a lion. He'll get me if I tell, but I'm not gonna tell. Not gonna tell… not gonna tell…"

"The lions in the circus don't hurt anyone, they obey the lion tamer. You don't have to be scared of the lions."

"He's worse than the lions, he burned my leg and made it hard to walk." He gasped and cringed. "Oh no, I wasn't supposed to tell you that." He started panicking and breathing rapidly. "Now I'm in big trouble, and I can't get away because no matter where I go he always finds me!"

He ran to the window and opened it and tried to climb out, but Holly grabbed him around the middle and tried to pull him back inside. He was stronger than her, but she held on and wouldn't let go.

"It's okay, you're safe now!"

"No, no, no! I promised I wouldn't tell, but I told and now he'll do it again!" He was crying hysterically now. "It's not a secret anymore and it's all my fault and he's going to be really mad at me! I didn't mean to tell, I tried to keep it secret. He's always mad at me and now it's worse! If you don't let me go he'll burn me again! It hurts real bad."

Holly managed to pull him back inside. She turned him around to face her and held him in place by the shoulders and said, "Mike, it's okay!

"No! Let me go! Let go of me!" he screamed.

"Look at me, it's okay!" She hugged him, but he cried out as though her touch had scalded him. He pushed her away and ran to the bathroom and locked the door.

She went to the door and lightly knocked. "Please come out."

"No," he said through the door.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I scare you?"

"You hugged me."

"You don't like being hugged?"

"Daddy hugged me and then he tripped me down the stairs," he whimpered. "He gave me a piece of candy before he burned me."

"If a person hugs you and then does something to hurt you, then the hug is ruined, isn't it? And sweet things don't mean anything if they're followed by something bad. Your daddy spoiled good things by hurting you, didn't he? And now you don't like hugs because you think it means something bad is going to happen. Did your mommy do that, too?"

"A little, Daddy did it more though."

"Hugs are wonderful, Mike. If you come out and let me hug you, I promise nothing bad will happen. I won't hurt you, this hug is to make you feel better. Will you let me hug you?"

"You're not going to burn me, are you?"

"I would never do that."

"Okay, you can hug me." He slowly unlocked the door and stepped out with his head hanging down. He was still sobbing.

Very slowly and gently, Holly put her arms around him, but he didn't hug her back. "Does that feel better?"

He nodded his head yes, but then pushed her away. "I'm in big trouble, he's coming for me. He's so big and I'm so little, he'll always find me. I just want to go back to my white house with the pink roses, where all my toys and my brothers and sisters are. I don't get hurt there."

"I'll keep your daddy away, I won't let him hurt you."

"Why doesn't he love me? Did I do something wrong? How did I make him mad?"

"You did nothing wrong. I don't know why he did it, some people do bad things and we never know why. But he's gone now, and he's not going to find you as long as you're with me. Does your leg still hurt?"

"Yes, he said it wouldn't hurt but it did."

"Would you like a band aid?"

"Yeah."

Holly went to Mike's bathroom and took out the box of band aids. With Vito, Manitoba and Svetlana around, these always came in handy. "What color do you want?"

"Y-Yellow."

"There's one yellow band aid left. Now, can you sit down by the bed so I can put it on?"

He sat down. She went to Mike's closet and took out the teddy bear they kept on hand for him. She gave it to him and he hugged it tightly. She knelt down by his side and said, "Where does it hurt?"

He pointed to the place on his right calf, and she gently rolled up his pant leg. She could see a faint pink scar in the shape of a flat iron, you'd only see it if you were looking for it. She already knew his biological parents were terrible people, but seeing this scar gave her a burning hatred for his father. She could almost hear Mike's agonized screams as a child, with no one around willing to help him. It made her want to cry, but she acted natural so he wouldn't get more upset. She put the band aid on it and then pulled the pant leg back down. With a smile she said, "There we go, all better. You're a very brave patient. I'd give you a lollipop, but I don't have one."

"Don't ever give me anything, nice things mean bad things," he said as he cringed.

"Is the pain gone?"

"Yeah, it feels better now." He was calming down now, and he stopped crying.

Holly sat down beside him, and he moved and sat in her lap the way a little child would, still biting his thumb. He put his head on her shoulder and she put her arms around him and held him close.

"Where's Miss Aria? Is she here?" he asked softly.

"No, she's not here. She's helping other people right now."

"I want to see her, I miss her."

"I'm sure she misses you, too. You can talk to her on another day. You know, I never got a chance to thank you for what you did for Mike two years ago. It was very brave of you to call Jack when you needed help, and you saved his life."

"I didn't want him to feel bad. Why don't you hurt him anymore? Why did you stop being mean?"

It always hurt Holly when lesser personalities like this were afraid of her. They couldn't understand that she wasn't Mike's biological mother, or that Jack wasn't his biological father. Some of them were okay with her but scared of Jack, and some were okay around Jack but terrified of her. Some couldn't stand either one of them, and when they came out they had to call Dr. Lace because she was the only one who could get close to him without upsetting him further. She was very understanding about it and was willing to drop whatever she was doing just to come out and help him. She guessed it was because some of them took more abuse from one parent than the other. This one must have been more abused by his father than his mother for him to feel this comfortable with her. It hurt her deeply to see it, because when she saw their fear and their pain, all she could see was Mike's suffering. But she felt sorry for them just for their sake, too. Since they had no concept of time, they still believed they were at the mercy of Mike's parents, and they always would be.

"I decided that I didn't want to hurt Mike or any of you anymore, and I'm so sorry that I ever did hurt and frighten you. I promise I won't ever do it again. Can you forgive me?"

"I think so. Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love all of you, I really do. Why don't you tell me about the circus, tell me what you like about it. Do you like the acrobats?"

"Yeah, and the, balloon animals, too."

He told her all the things he liked about the circus while she rubbed his back and hummed a lullaby to console him. At some point, Mike returned, but he was still in the midst of the attack. It was a couple hours before he was able to calm down and form thoughts again. He was still out of breath and shaky.

"Mom?" he said, feeling confused.

"He's back," said Holly. Jack slowly opened the door and came inside, still holding the water and pills. It was nighttime, but neither one knew what time it was.

"Here son, take your meds," said Jack as he held them out to him.

"No," he said as he tried to catch his breath. "I'm not taking any more pills."

"Mike, you need to take your pills, you're not out of the woods just yet."

"I don't need them."

"That was the worst attack you've had in months. Have you been taking your pills every day like you're supposed to?"

"No, and I know it looks bad, but I'm fine, really. It's just taking longer to adjust than I thought it would."

"No wonder you've been acting odd lately. Mike, you need those pills."

"I don't want to be dependent on pills for the rest of my life. If pills are the only thing keeping me happy and sane, then that means I'm weak and pathetic. I don't want to have to rely on a crutch to get by."

"Blind people have seeing-eye dogs, deaf people have hearing aids, and crippled people use canes or wheelchairs. Does that make them weak?" asked Jack.

"No," said Mike quietly.

"Cancer patients use chemo, and people with infections use antibiotics. Are they weak because they have to take medicine?"

"No."

"So why is it weak for you to take medication?"

"Those people need those things, I should be able to get through life without having to rely on drugs. What if one day I'm in a situation where meds aren't available? What if one day I'm in a plane crash on a deserted island? Deserted islands don't have pharmacies, so I'd just crash and burn right along with the plane. This is why I want to stop taking them, so that I can be independent."

"Mike, there is no shame in needing a little help," said Holly. "No one goes through life without having to ask for help every now and again. No one likes having to take medication every day, but tell the truth, do you like the change not taking your pills has caused? You're moody and distant, you've been anxious and having trouble sleeping too, haven't you? At least with the meds you were happy, I haven't seen you smile or heard you laugh in days. I need that smile, it lights up the whole house."

"I guess I haven't really been myself lately. I hate feeling this way, but I think it would be worth it in the long run if I could make my body function without them."

"Of course you can function without them, but we don't want you to be depressed and anxious most of the time. Not to mention, you're better able to contain your alters on the medication. They've been making more guest appearances than usual lately. And these anxiety attacks wear you down, they drain you and make you feel like you're dying. No one wants to see their kid go through that. We love you so much, Mike, more than you will ever know."

"The only thing worse than suffering," said Jack. "Is seeing your child suffer."

Mike had to admit that they were right, he needed his meds. He remembered his worst attack, when that half-formed alter nearly killed him. It hadn't shown itself since then, but there was always the possibility that it could come back. Not only that, but he hated feeling this way, he wanted to feel okay again.

"All right, I'll take my meds."

"Thank you," said Holly.

Jack handed him the pills and he downed them with the water.

"Good, now go to sleep," said Holly. "We could all use some sleep."

* * *

A few weeks later, Mike was back to his old self again. He was cheerful and talkative, and his parents were very relieved.

One Saturday, a couple months after he turned fifteen, Mike got an unexpected call from Trent. He had spent the summer on Total Drama for two seasons and he had just returned home after getting voted off.

"Hey Mike, I was going to hang out with some of my friends today, but they all canceled. Are you free?"

"Yeah, yeah I am."

"Cool, meet me at the mall in ten minutes."

"See you there." Mike hung up the phone, surprised that Trent had meant it when he'd said they should hang out. Holly dropped him off at the mall, happy to see him hanging out with someone his age. Mike quickly spotted Trent.

"Let's go to the music store, that okay with you?"

"Sure, anything's fine with me."

Trent told Mike about his favorite albums and songs. Mike didn't really have an opinion on any genre, it was all good to him, so he was a good listener about this kind of thing. Trent bought a new album, and Mike bought one that Trent recommended for him based on his personality. They left the store and went to the arcade. They started out playing different games, and then started playing a two-player racing one. Mike had more experience with video games and so he won.

"Good game," said Trent once it ended. "Hey, let's go to the food court for lunch."

They both got chicken strips and fries and sat down to eat. Mike said, "Trent, not that I don't enjoy your company, but why are you hanging out with me?"

"Ever since Total Drama, I'm always surrounded by people pretending to be friends, fangirls, or paparazzi. It's nice to be around people who don't worship me. I just like hanging out like any other teenager."

"By the way, I'm sorry about what went down with Gwen. I know you really liked her."

"Yeah, I miss her, I really messed up. Maybe if we had actually talked, things might not have gone down like they did. I was afraid of losing her, and it made me… well… yeah." Trent finished lamely. "I'm trying to move on, find another girl."

"Shouldn't be too hard," said Mike with a smile.

"Hey Mike, I was wondering, what does your dad think of you going into acting?"

"He's all for it. He plays improv games with me to practice sometimes, usually on car rides."

"That's awesome. My dad wants me to be an accountant, like him. I just want to play my guitar and open my own bike shop where I can work on motorcycles. Sometimes I think I should just to make him happy, but I can't give up on my dreams for someone else's, you know what I mean?"

"I do, but in a different way. I've got personalities that all have dreams of their own, and it's not easy when they all pull in different directions." He mentally berated himself, Trent didn't want to hear about that. "Hopefully your dad will see your side of things and will be okay with you not following in his footsteps."

"You know Mike, I had my doubts about you for a while there, you're pretty weird, no offence. But you're a cool guy."

"I understand, I am pretty weird, but thanks, that means a lot coming from someone as cool as you."

"I still can't believe people think I'm cool, I'm just like everyone else. Don't put me or anyone else on a pedestal, Mike, 'cause I'm bound to fall off. I did in Total Drama Action. But it's cool, I'm not complaining. But I don't see how you don't have more friends."

"Well, um, yeah," said Mike lamely, not sure how to respond to that.

"I get it, you're a loner by choice, right? A maverick."

"Uh, sure."

"Seriously though, people at school shouldn't be so hard on you. Maybe if you were more confident. I'm not always as confident as I look, but if people think you're sure of yourself, it makes them want to be around you more."

"Easier said than done. No one's harder on me than me." He laughed, trying to play it off as a joke, when it really wasn't.

"That sucks. I've got a little thing of my own, not as bad as yours, but it's still annoying," said Trent as he lined his fries into rows of nine. "It's hard work, but it's not impossible. Mike, I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone. I'm only telling you because you're the only person I know who would understand."

"What is it?" Mike asked curiously. How could he trust him more than his closer friends?

"Well, this isn't easy for me to say." Trent seemed nervous, he had never seen him nervous before, only chill and laid back. He whispered, "I have OCD."

"Really? I had no idea." Mike couldn't believe it.

He nodded. "It's not too bad, but yeah, I do. That's why I kind of went a little nuts on Total Drama Action, I was afraid of losing Gwen and it stressed me out, and extra stress always sets off my OCD. It was worse than it's ever been before, it's really no surprise that Gwen broke up with me. You know I don't care what anyone thinks of me, but this isn't really something I would want broadcasted. I'm telling you because I trust you with this."

"Have you told Gwen?"

"Not yet, I was a little afraid it would make things worse between us."

"You should, it might help you work things out."

"I plan to tell her the next time I see her. She should know."

"But Trent, why are you trusting me with it?"

"I thought it would be a little obvious."

"Oh, oh yeah."

"As annoying as OCD is, I don't even want to know how bad MPD must be. OCD would be a walk in the park compared to that."

"Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of telling anyone. Yeah, I bet that sucks. Is… is that the reason you wanted to hang out? Because I'm the only person you know with a mental disorder?"

"No, no, not at all. I mean, yeah, a little bit, at first. Before the play, since you're a grade below me, I hadn't really seen your personalities in action much, I'd mostly just heard about it. And then we started practicing and I saw them up close and personal. One day I was playing my guitar while I was waiting for my turn to go up on stage, and Chester told me how awful my music was and threatened to throw my guitar out a window."

"I am so sorry about that, I had no idea."

"It's cool man, I honestly thought it was kinda funny. If my music upsets the old people, then I'm doing a good job."

Mike laughed, and Trent went on. "I saw you acting up on stage, and when you got into character it was surprisingly easy to forget you were the kid in school with the multiple personalities. Off stage you could switch at any second, but for some reason up there you were able to keep them in. But just the fact that you were confident enough to audition instead of just trying to stay invisible, and then you knocked the role out of the park, it was kind of inspiring. If you can get stuff done with four other people always trying to hog the wheel, then there's no way I'm ever letting my OCD stop me from doing anything. I really needed it after what went down with Gwen, it makes me think that maybe we can patch things up someday. So yeah, the initial reason was because I was looking for someone who would understand what I'm going through, but you've turned out to be pretty cool, and I'm proud to call you my friend."

"Hey, you're still one of the coolest guys I know, so you obviously haven't let OCD stop you from doing anything. You shouldn't ever let it stop you."

"Yeah, and I think you need to take some of your own advice."

"What do you mean?"

"Our school is full of eligible young ladies, and I can tell you would be a good boyfriend."

"Oh," said Mike awkwardly. "Well, um, I'd like to, sure, but I don't think-"

"Why not? You know, I think you could have a real chance with Lucy."

"I asked her out once, she turned me down. And besides, don't you want to ask her out? You could have any girl you want."

"Nah, she's pretty and all, but I'm more into goth chicks, as you might have guessed from Total Drama. I like how cool and edgy they are, and how they do their own thing and don't care what anyone thinks. It's part of the reason I accepted the Sweeney Todd role, the girl playing Mrs. Lovett was hot. What kind of girls are you in to, Mike?"

"I also like girls who do their own thing, and aren't afraid to express themselves in their own way. I think it's cute when they wear bright colors, the goth girl look isn't for me, no offense."

"Hey, no prob, we all have our different tastes."

"Girls who are cheerful and nice, but can put people in their place when they need to."

He followed Trent's gaze over to a group of girls in line to buy ice cream. One of them wore black clothes and dark makeup, obviously goth. Lucy was with them, looking gorgeous as always. They admired the girls from afar, both caught up in their own daydreams, until a woman passing by scolded them and said, "Quit gawking and show some respect, you pervs."

Trent and Mike were both mortified, they hadn't meant to do anything wrong. They kept their eyes away from the girls the rest of the time.

Before they parted ways, Trent said, "Let's hang out again soon, okay pal?"

"Sure thing!"

"And Mike, ask Lucy out. I think you'd be a really cute couple."

"You should ask out Mrs. Lovett."

"I did, didn't work out. I'm thinking about asking out the girl playing the White Witch in the Narnia play. Are you in it?"

"Yeah, I'm playing Maugrim, the captain of the witch's secret police. I get killed in it, that's always fun."

"Awesome. But I wouldn't have pictured you as an evil wolf, you seem way too nice for that."

"Well, you played a serial killer."

"True, true."

"I actually auditioned for the role of Mr. Tumnus, I don't know how I ended up as Maugrim. It was probably another casting error, they cast Maurice as Lucy Pevensie, and not only is he male, he's one of the biggest guys in school. They fixed it, though."

"I'm sure he would have given a captivating performance as a little girl, he would bring tears to our eyes," said Trent, laughing. "Playing Maugrim will test your acting abilities, we can see how versatile you are. But if you're the captain of her guard, can you hook me up?"

"I would, but Vito insulted her for being too pasty on the first day of practice. I think having me as your wingman would hurt your chances."

"It's cool, dude. Well, break a leg, and I'll see you later."

"Thanks, Trent. And good luck with the bike shop."

"My future motorcycles and I thank you."

They didn't get to hang out too often because of conflicting schedules, and Trent had a lot of other friends to hang out with, but he still made time for Mike. It was great to finally have a friend.

* * *

Mike was down on his knees in front of Satchimo. He took a dog treat and carefully balanced it on his nose.

"All right boy, don't move until I tell you." He waited a few seconds, and then said, "Now!"

Satchimo tossed the treat into the air and caught it in his teeth.

"Yeah, good boy! Great job, Satch!" he said as he rubbed his stomach, the way he liked it.

Jack came in from work, and Mike took a flier out of his pocket and ran to meet him.

"Hey, Mike," he greeted him.

"Dad, look at this!" said Mike excitedly. "This Saturday there's going to be a father-son race at the park! I already signed us up! Isn't this great?"

Jack wasn't exactly thrilled to hear that. He had never been strong or fast, and he'd never won anything in sports. But he put on a smile for Mike and said, "That's great, son. What time does it start?"

"There's a picnic at noon, and then at two o'clock after everyone's finished, the race starts."

"Well then, I'd better go find my running shoes," said Jack.

"We make a great team, Dad. We're going to win for sure!"

Mike ran up the stairs to do his homework, and Holly came out of the kitchen with a soda.

"A father-son race, that'll be a lot of fun."

"You know I'm not athletic, not even in the broadest definition of the word. I'll just slow Mike down, he'd be better off without me."

"Just do your best, that's all anyone's asking of you."

"I hope they have paramedics on standby, I don't think my heart can take the exertion."

* * *

For the rest of the week, Jack and Mike would go running after school to practice for the race. Mike had no trouble running long distances without a break, but Jack had to stop every few feet to catch his breath. Mike didn't mind slowing down for him, but Jack felt ashamed of himself for holding him back.

"You could give the Road Runner a run for his money," said Jack as they stopped by a mailbox for him to catch his breath. Mike wasn't even winded. Satchimo was running with them, he bent over to scratch behind his ears.

"It's because of Svetlana and Vito, Manitoba too, with all his climbing. I don't think I could be out of shape even if I wanted to be."

"It's times like these when having them around would come in handy. This stitch in my side is killing me."

"You're doing great, Dad. I can't wait until Saturday, that race is ours."

"Yeah, ours." He should have told him the truth, that he would be lucky if he crossed the finish line at all, but he couldn't bring himself to put a damper on Mike's enthusiasm.

When Saturday arrived, Jack hadn't improved very much. They drove to the park, where they were serving hamburgers and hotdogs.

As they were waiting in line to get their food, one of the boys from Mike's class at school got in line behind them and said, "So, Multiple Mike has graced us with his presence. Don't tell me you're in the race."

"As a matter of fact, I am," said Mike, his expression neutral. "My dad and I are going to win."

"Now son, don't count your chickens before they hatch," said Jack quietly.

"See? Your dad doesn't even think you can win."

"May the best man win," said Mike, trying to ignore the jab.

"Don't worry, I will."

They got their food and sat down at a picnic table.

"Is it always like that at school?" asked Holly. She was very angry at that boy, but she couldn't say anything to him without making Mike look worse.

"Not all the time," said Mike quietly.

Jack was reminded of when he was younger, and how he had been teased about his height and his lack of athletic ability. It had hurt, but it was nothing compared to what Mike went through at school every day. He had many friends, Mike had next to none. He had to win this race, he just had to.

"Well, we'll show him, won't we son?" said Jack.

"Yeah we will!" said Mike, perking back up.

Jack kept up a happy expression as the pit in his stomach grew deeper. He wanted him to win so badly, he thought of how disappointed he would be to lose. He would give it his all, he had to win for Mike.

After they finished lunch, Jack and Mike went to the starting line along with the others in the race. The race would take them through the woods, there would be brightly colored flags to guide them and keep them from getting lost.

"Good luck, Mike!" said Trent from down the line.

"You too, Trent!"

As soon as he said it, he pinched himself and scrunched up his eyes.

"Are you okay, Mike?" asked Jack.

"Manitoba wants to come out, he wants to explore. He loves forests."

"You hold him back, you can do it."

"On your mark, get set, GO!" shouted the referee.

Jack and Mike took off, as did everyone else. They ran into the woods and followed the trail and the flags. Mike didn't have to work at slowing down enough to stay with Jack, trying to keep Manitoba in line was taking up half his concentration. Jack refused to lose the race. One way or another, they were going to win.

* * *

Meanwhile, Holly was going with the other moms to the other end of the forest to see the winners. While she was going, she was talking with three of her friends.

"Well, look who it is. Holly Skinner, alive and in the flesh," said Tonya, one of her friends. "It feels like we never get to see you anymore."

"I've been meaning to come around more, I've just been busy lately."

"Well, you're here now, and that's what matters," said Carla with a smile.

"How's life been treating you all?" asked Holly.

"Robert got a promotion at work," said Carla. "It's a good thing to, Bonnie needs braces."

"Arthur and I are going to the Bahamas for our four year anniversary," said Shannon.

"Devon is seeing a new speech therapist, the best in Canada," said Tonya as she carried her four year old.

"I'm glad you're all doing so well. You know, we should have a backyard barbecue, we haven't had one in ages."

"But wait, Holly," said Tonya. "You haven't told us how you've been."

"Jack and I are fine, and Mike's doing well in school. He's in the school's next play, he's a really good actor. You should come see it, I think you would enjoy it."

"Oh, come now Holly," said Tonya. "Is that really all you have to say?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I just mean that you and Jack must be pretty worn out with Mike's little 'problem.' You must be so stressed, don't you want to talk about it?"

"It can be stressful sometimes, but I'm fine, really."

"I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like, trying to raise a child with such a disability," Tonya went on. "And I'm sure it must be so expensive, you and your husband haven't gone on any big trips for your anniversary since you took him in. You haven't gone on any retreats without Mike, period. The romance in your relationship has suffered a lot, I'll bet."

"We don't need to take big vacations, we're content to take smaller ones. And we can't leave Mike at home by himself, he needs someone with him. But we don't mind having him along, he's a joy."

"It's very noble of you, taking care of Mike and trying to give him a future even though he has no chance of ever making anything of himself."

"Excuse me?" said Holly.

"Let's be honest here, Holly. What hope does Mike have of graduating college with a condition like his? Or holding down a steady job? And let's not even talk about marriage. If he ever did get married, the poor woman might go to bed with her husband and wake up with someone else entirely. Who knows what one of his personalities might do to her. And think of the children, they'd all probably inherit it. We wouldn't want a litter of children with multiple personalities, now would we? It's an unfortunate situation, so sad.

"The fact is Holly, you and Jack aren't going to live forever, and what will become of him when you're gone? I suppose he'll have to stay in a group home, there are some nice ones to choose from. Hopefully it'll be a group home, I'd hate to see the poor boy end up in an institution."

"Now that you mention it, you know, Devon probably won't ever accomplish anything either," said Holly calmly. "With that stutter, who would want to hire him? I mean, you can barely understand him when he tries to talk. I hope he doesn't have any aspirations that involve public speaking, he'd be a laughingstock."

The others gasped, and Tonya said, "Holly! How could you say such a thing? My Devon is precious!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were playing a game where we pick apart the flaws in our children and degrade them behind their backs," said Holly pleasantly. "I can just see it now, Devon trying to propose to a girl and not being able to get the words out."

"Holly, you have no right saying any of this! What is wrong with you?"

"Devon's speech impediment and Mike's MPD are both things they have no control over. They're both working hard to overcome their disabilities, and none of us have any right to shame them for it," said Holly. "I believe they will both go on to do great things, in spite of their struggles. Mike is my son, maybe not by blood, but that doesn't matter to him or to me. I will not have you talking about him like he's a circus freak, you hear me? No one messes with my boy."

Carla and Shannon both looked at her in awe and respect. Tonya said, "You're right Holly. You're absolutely right. I'm sorry I said those things about Mike, that wasn't fair to him. I won't do it anymore."

Holly was so relieved that she was understanding. She hadn't meant to attack her like that, but most everyone said things like that about Mike, and after what that boy had said, it set her blood boiling. There was only so much she could take. She had lost some of her friends over the years because they didn't like or trust Mike. It was nice to have a few friends who would stick by her, even if he wasn't their favorite person in the world. Better a few good friends than a crowd of fair-weather friends.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry I said those things about Devon, I just get protective of my baby."

"You're a mama bear, Holly. Mama bears have to look out for their cubs, because who else will?" said Carla.

"Exactly."

"I always admired you for that," Carla continued. "You've got to be tough to combat a disorder like that, I don't think I could. You're a great mom."

"Thanks, Carla. Now Shannon, you have got to tell me where you got those shoes, they're so cute!"

* * *

"I don't know how we managed it, but we're lost," said Jack. "We haven't passed any markers in some time."

"Come on Dad, we're way behind!" said Mike.

Mike had been pinching himself the entire time to try to stay in control, but it was all in vain. Manitoba forced his way out and said, "Come on, ya sloth! Looks like it's up to me to get you blokes to the finish line in first place!"

Manitoba took off running, and unlike Mike, he wouldn't slow down for anyone. Jack struggled to keep up.

"How do you know where you're going?" asked Jack.

"I know these woods like the back of my hand! But just to make sure…"

Manitoba jumped and grabbed a tree limb. He hoisted himself up and scaled the tree faster than a squirrel. He climbed to the top of the tree and looked to see where they were. Satisfied, he began to climb down.

"Yup, there's a shortcut right after the next bend!" Manitoba called down to Jack. "All you have to do is-"

Before he could finish, Mike suddenly came back. Manitoba had been hanging off a precarious branch, and since Mike was slightly disoriented after making the switch, he lost his grip and plummeted to the ground.

"Mike! Mike, are you okay?"

Jack ran over to where Mike had fallen. He was clutching his arm, which was bending at an unnatural angle.

"Oh no, I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Holly and I both read up on how to make splints for just such an occasion as this, I'll try to make do with whatever I can find out here."

"No Dad!" said Mike, his teeth gritted in pain. "We can't stop now! Manitoba told me about the shortcut, if we follow it right now we can still win!"

"Mike, you're in pretty bad shape."

"We have to get out of the woods before I can go to a doctor, we might as well win first! Come on!"

Mike wasn't taking no for an answer. He held his arm in the least painful position and took off running, and Jack followed him, nearly exhausted. Mike took them on the shortcut, which led off the trail. He didn't argue though, he had to trust that Manitoba did know his way through here.

Finally, miraculously, Jack could see the finish line up ahead, and the tape hadn't been broken yet.

"We're going to win, Dad!" said Mike.

"We're going to win!" he repeated after him.

But just as they were about to cross the line, another father and son crossed it first.

Across the line, Jack bent over and tried to catch his breath. He had never run this much in his life, he just wanted to lie down on the ground and not get up again for twenty years.

Holly ran over and said, "You made it!"

"I failed him Holly," he said miserably. "He was supposed to win, he deserved it more than anyone ever deserved to win anything, and I let him down. It's bad enough he has a broken arm, winning would have made it sting less. Now all he has is a broken arm and a loser for a father."

Mike ran over carrying a silver trophy with his good arm, his face beaming. "Look Dad! We did it! We came in second at our very first father-son race! Can you believe it? We're the best team ever! You're the best dad ever! We should do this every year!"

Jack couldn't believe it, Mike wasn't ashamed of him, it was the opposite, in fact. He smiled in relief as he patted him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, we'll do it again next year. You know, that trophy would look great on the mantel in the living room."

"That's what I was thinking, then everyone can see it."

"I'm so proud of my boys," said Holly as she put her arms around them, being careful not to touch Mike's broken arm. "But that's enough excitement for one day. Your arm is swelling, we need to go to the hospital and have them take care of it. I am so proud of you, both of you."

Holly led him to the car and they drove to the hospital. Despite being in pain, nothing could take the smile off Mike's face.

* * *

Being chained to a boulder for years got very boring after a while.

Mal was lying on his stomach, tracing circles into the ground with his finger. It felt like the boredom was literally eating him alive. He was kind of hoping it would just so he wouldn't have to put up with it anymore.

He saw one of the half-formed alters not too far away. Mal still hated seeing those things, but maybe he could use it.

"_Hey you, come here."_

He had caught its attention, that was a good sign. But whether or not it could actually understand him and follow directions was yet to be seen.

The thing came closer and stood before him. It was scary to think that he so easily could have been just like this halfling, funny to imagine it happening to Manitoba or Svetlana or the others.

"_Find something to break the chain. If you free me, I'll give you complete control of the mind. You'll be the only one who gets to use the body, you'll be the boss. Can you break the chain?"_

The thing seemed to be deep in thought. It reached down to the ground and formed a sword out of brain matter, a strong, fine one. Mal couldn't do that, not as long as he was in shackles. He could see the toll it took on the alter; while Mal could easily create things in the mind, it severely weakened half-formed alters to do it.

"_Yes, very good, you're doing great! You'll be rewarded for this, now give it to me!"_ said Mal. He couldn't believe it was actually helping him escape. Never in his wildest dreams would he have believed a halfling could be useful for something.

The half-formed alter came closer and closer, and Mal's smile grew wider and wider as he imagined the gallant sword in his hands. Oh, the fun he could have with such a beautiful weapon.

The alter set the sword down on the ground, mere inches out of his grasp. Mal's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"_What are you waiting for? Bring it closer so I can reach it."_

"_I think this is close enough."_ Its voice was very deep.

"_Don't you want to be in complete control of the mind?"_

"_I know you are a liar. You are no better than Michael's father."_

"_If you don't give me that sword I swear I will make your life a living hell,"_ he growled.

"_That is already my life."_

The halfling alter turned and walked away. Mal lunged for it but fell flat on his face.

"_Get back here, you swine!"_ he yelled. _"I have all the power here, you'll set me free if you know what's good for you!"_

"_You're the only one in chains."_

"_I'm going to get out of this, and when I do, I'm going to kill you!"_

"_I look forward to it!"_

Mal stretched and tried to reach the sword, but he couldn't touch it. The half-formed alters were smarter than he thought.


	18. Pranks

Mike was sitting on the couch watching Total Drama, one of his favorite shows. The show was currently on its third season. His parents didn't watch it, but they always seemed to walk in at the worst moments.

"Are those boys making out with fish?" Holly asked. She had just popped in to see if Mike wanted a snack, she didn't ask for this.

"It's for a challenge," he explained. Satchimo was sitting in his lap, sleeping.

"Some people will do anything for fame and fortune. I'd better never see you on a show like that."

"Don't worry, no amount of pain and humiliation is worth a million dollars to me."

"It's so nice having a son with common sense," she said as she went back to the kitchen. "You get it from my side of the family."

He had to admit though, a million dollars wouldn't suck. And despite all the backstabbing, deceit, and sabotage, people did seem to form unlikely friendships there. Trent came over to watch the show with him sometimes, and he would tell him behind the scenes stuff and funny things that had happened on set. He said that he was glad he went on the show, but that it wasn't a good idea.

He knew Leshawna too, they went to the same high school. After Total Drama made her famous, nearly everyone in school tried to be her friend to share in her fame, but she wasn't having that, she stuck with her old friends. He had been tempted to ask her about it, but everyone else did and he didn't want to annoy her.

The second the episode was over, Svetlana decided Mike had spent enough time sitting on the couch and she took over and went outside. Summertime was almost over and Mike would be going back to school soon, and that would limit the amount of practice she could get, so she had to make the most of it now.

It was a warm day with no clouds in the sky, perfect for gymnastics. She spotted a neighbor's old clothesline, and she used it as a tightrope and practiced her routine on it. Satchimo woke up and followed her outside, and he sat on the ground, watching her practice. She spent two hours on that rope, and once she was satisfied, she let Vito take over to do his workout. He patted Satchimo on the head; all of them liked the dog, except Chester.

He lifted the heaviest things he could find over his head and practiced throwing punches on the tree in the backyard. He did two hundred push-ups and sit-ups each, but for all his hard work, with a body like Mike's there was only so much you could do. He'd never be any bigger than a bean pole, but Vito's hard work did pay off.

When he went inside, Jack did a double take when he saw him. "Wow Vito, I didn't know you could put abs on a noodle."

"Check it out, I told you I had guns," said Vito as he flexed his muscles proudly.

Holly came up from behind and put a shirt over his head and pulled it down over his chest. Mike immediately came back and sat down on the couch. He was worn out after so much exercise. She brought him a glass of lemonade to help him cool off.

"While you were out there setting a good example for humanity by exercising and being healthy, I was in here setting a bad example by playing video games. I just beat the temple in the Goron mines in _Twilight Princess_, and since we're taking turns, you get to do the water temple."

Mike took the controller and said, "I always dread the water temple."

"We all do, son."

The phone rang and Holly got up to get it. It was an automated message.

"This is an announcement for parents of teenagers attending North High School. Classes will be postponed for three weeks due to school maintenance. We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you, and have a wonderful day."

"That's odd," she said. As soon as she hung up the phone, it rang again.

"Hello?"

"Holly, it's Carla. Did you get the message about the school delay?"

"Yeah, what's that about?"

"My brother is the janitor at the school there and you'll never believe what he told me!"

"What did he tell you?"

"The school's been turned into a jungle!"

"What?"

"You heard me! Over summer break, someone imported plants from the jungle and let them take over the school. Some of them were taken from the zoo, they don't know where the rest came from. But they didn't stop with exotic plants, there are birds in there, too. Some are the normal kind you see around here, others you've never seen before outside of books. And there are all kinds of critters running around. They also flooded the gym and filled it with alligators and snapping turtles. There's even a lion and tiger in there! The zoo has been looking for them, but they never looked in the school, for obvious reasons. You walk in there, you'd think you were in the Amazon rainforest, it's practically its own ecosystem. You'll probably hear about it on the news tonight. My brother says it'll probably take longer than three weeks to return it to normal. They have no idea who did it, but you can be sure they're furious about it. It's going to take a lot of time and money to fix everything."

"Thanks for telling me, Carla. Hopefully they'll clean it up soon so the kids can go back to school."

"I'll let you know as soon as they find out who did it. It's the prank of the century," she said with a laugh.

"I appreciate it. Bye Carla."

Holly hung up the phone and went to her and Jack's room. She took one of Jack's fedoras and went back down the stairs.

"Mike sweetie, would you mind if I talked to Manitoba for a minute?" she asked.

Mike paused the game right as he was slaying an enemy. He looked at her incredulously; Dr. Lace sometimes had him summon his alters for therapy purposes, but never before had they asked him to. "Why?"

"Yeah Holly, the boy just got back in control and you're asking him to give it up again?"

"Just for a minute, then I'll take the hat off. I think he might be involved in a prank at school and I need to verify. Don't worry, if he is I won't tell, I just need to know."

"All right," said Mike as he took the hat from her hands and put it on his head. Normally when Manitoba was triggered, it was because Mike forgot that hats triggered him. He loved hats just like Jack, so it was easy to forget.

Manitoba instantly appeared, and he saw Satchimo and went over to pet him. "Hey, dingo!"

"Manitoba, did you turn the school into a jungle?" she asked point blank.

"Did he do what now?" asked Jack.

An arrogant smirk crossed his face. "What makes you think it was me?"

"Who else has enough dedication for a prank like that?"

"True, true. Yeah, I did it. I've been working on it for years, this summer is when it all finally came together. You can't imagine the fun I've been having, it's a paradise. I even hid the contents of the school's safe in a treasure chest somewhere in the school, I left the principal a map to follow to find it. But it wasn't just for me, mind you, it was also for Mike. He's not exactly my favorite person in the world, but seein' him get beaten and picked on all the time was gettin' on my nerves. Now, it's okay for him to get picked on sometimes, it'd do the shrimp good to toughen up a little. But what I don't like to see is the entire school always keepin' him in their blind spot. A load of crocodiles, they all are, just like the ones in the gym. So, I got to have my fun and get some revenge for the little bugger. But the question now is, are you going to turn me in, and hope they go easy on Mike since he had nothin' to do with this?"

He quirked an eyebrow as he awaited their answer. Holly smiled and said, "Good one, Manitoba. I've wanted to do something like that since day one." She held out her hand and he high-fived it. She and Jack were fed up with the way they ignored Mike instead of doing something about his tormentors. They wanted so badly to pull him out, but he wouldn't let them. Manitoba's prank was just what they'd been waiting for.

Jack patted him on the back and said, "I'm required by father law to tell you not to do that again, that it was wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, good work, Manitoba."

He took the hat off his head and let Mike back in. "So, did he do it?"

"Yup. He was behind the whole thing. He turned the school into a jungle, and you're getting three more weeks of summer."

"That's not a sentence you hear often," he replied.

* * *

"You ready to go, Mike?" Jack called up the stairs.

"No, but I'll never be ready so I'll be down in a minute," he called back.

"Are you sure he's ready for this?" asked Holly nervously. "You could wait five or six years."

"He just turned sixteen, it's time."

"But what if one of his personalities comes out and does something? I'm so worried. And besides, Mike's too young to be sixteen, maybe we accidentally skipped a year."

"Holly, he's going to be fine. He's growing up, and this will be good for him. I'll make sure he stays safe, I promise."

She took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll try to calm down. Got any valium?"

Mike came down the stairs then, looking about as anxious as Holly. "Are you sure about this, Dad?"

"Of course I am, learning to drive is a rite of passage. Now let's go, before it gets too dark to see out there."

"Good luck, and be safe," said Holly, trying to hide her nerves.

They got in the car, with Jack driving.

"All right Mike, driving is just like playing a video game. If you can beat Grand Theft Auto, you can master a real automobile."

"Except that if I screw up, real people will get hurt," Mike replied, wringing his hands.

"Well yeah, there's that. But don't assume you're going to fail, visualize yourself on the open road. Visualize yourself in a red convertible with flames on the side, with a pretty lady in the passenger seat. The road is yours, you control the car, the car does not control you."

"I'm trying to visualize it, but I'm still a ball of nerves."

"Look Mike, I might kid around, but you really have nothing to worry about."

"But what if one of the others takes control while I'm driving? Chester can't drive a car!"

"Work on relaxing yourself and not getting frustrated. Road rage is the last thing you need. I know you have trouble with stress, but you're going to have to stay calm if you want to be on the open road. You want to get out and drive, you want independence, don't you? Besides, we're just going to drive in the parking lot of that old abandoned apartment building. I doubt there'll be any collisions. No worries today, okay?"

Mike took a deep breath to calm himself and said, "Okay, I'm ready."

Jack drove them to the parking lot and then they switched places. He turned on the radio as a distraction and stayed quiet unless he needed to give Mike directions. He acted calm to keep Mike calm, but on the inside he was worried. If Vito came out he'd start doing dangerous stunts, and if Chester came out he'd send them straight into the building.

Mike's driving was jerky and he drove extremely slowly, but after a few loops around he started to relax and his driving improved dramatically. He practiced parking and, after a few tries, he made it into the space every time.

"Wow sport, you're a natural. You should be the one tutoring me."

"None of them came out, none of them took over while I was driving," said Mike incredulously. "I can't believe it, not even when I got frustrated while trying to parallel-park did they come out."

"Maybe it's their common sense finally showing itself. Taking over while driving would put you all at risk, even if you had a personality who was a racer for Nascar."

"The sun is going down, this means I can practice night driving."

"Maybe tomorrow night, for now let's head back. Your mother will be worried sick if we stay out too late."

Jack drove them home. Mike told Holly about how well he had driven, and how he hadn't run into anything. His confidence, at least in this area, had blossomed.

He forgot that confidence on the day of his driver's exam, however. He aced the test, but now he had to go on the open road with a stranger and hope he didn't screw up and crash the car.

_Okay Mike, you can do it,_ he told himself. _If you panic then you'll definitely screw everything up. And even if you do screw up, it won't be the end of the world. Just calm down and breathe. _

He couldn't quite soothe his nerves, but he managed to scrape through the test and earn his license. He was now free to drive anywhere he wanted, he felt so liberated and empowered.

The very next week, they got him a car of his very own. It was used, but it belonged to him, and it gave him more freedom, which made him very happy.

His parents didn't like him staying out on his own too long in case something happened with his alters, but that was okay with him, he only liked solitude in small doses anyway. When he did, he would go down new roads just to see where they led. He didn't let himself worry about getting lost, he just wanted to enjoy the journey. He loved the feeling of being independent, of being able to go where he wanted when he wanted. It was one of the best feelings in the world.

* * *

The school was reopened a few weeks later. They never made the connection to Manitoba about the prank, but the culprit became something of a legend in the school, they called him Tarzan. Every now and again a student would see strange beetles scurrying across the floor, and some claimed to have seen marmosets and kinkajous in the halls, though these were just rumors.

There was a dance coming up, not an important one like the prom, but it would be Mike's first. He wasn't sure if he would go or not. He knew for a fact that no girl would want to go with him, and he would hate to be there alone. But then again, he was a good dancer, he could probably have a good time by himself. He had been practicing in his room, and Svetlana gave him pointers. It would certainly beat moping at home. Trent called about the dance while he was still thinking about it.

"The way I see it, you've got three options, Mike. One: Me and you go dateless and just hang out, dance, and have fun."

"Aren't you going to ask someone out?"

"I've tried going out with other girls, but I just can't make it work. They're all nice, but I'm still in love with Gwen. But she's with Duncan now, so you can see my problem. I just don't want to waste any more girls' time when I know I can't commit. Which leads me to option two: You come over to my house, we order a pizza and watch movies and do whatever we want. I could invite Geoff and DJ over, or it could just be the two of us, I'm cool either way. Or Three: You ask Lucy to the dance. As fun as options one and two would be, I'm in favor of number three."

"I've asked her out before, remember? She doesn't like me. Besides, she has a boyfriend."

"If not Lucy, then someone else. Enough building up the suspense, I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would want to date you, they're probably just waiting for you to ask. It's about time you found a girlfriend, these are our golden years, we have to take advantage of them while we have them."

"I think I'd rather poke a sleeping dragon in the eye than ask someone out, it sounds way safer. Every time I imagine the scenario of me asking someone out, I get laughed at, or worse. I don't enjoy being laughed at, as surprising as that is. I think I should just play it safe and stay single, at least for the time being. I don't mind being single, really."

"You're killing me, Mike. If you don't step out of your comfort zone soon, I'm going to set you up on a blind date."

"It wouldn't be with Katie or Sadie, would it?" Mike asked, grinning.

"They're in a committed one-sided relationship with Justin, they wouldn't dream of cheating on him. But we're going to find you someone, Mike, mark my words."

"I'm scared."

"Don't be, I have good taste in girls, just look at Gwen. So, if you don't have a date by Saturday, let me know if we're doing option one or two."

"Sure thing."

Mike hung up his cellphone and opened his locker to take out the textbook for his next class. He kept changing his mind back and forth on the subject of the dance. He would have a lot of fun with Trent, but he did want to ask someone out. Trent was the safe choice, girls were the life-threateningly dangerous choice. He could ask someone out and Trent would be his fallback, but he didn't know if he was up to feeling the embarrassment of rejection. He wasn't sure what he should do. As always, the others loudly expressed their opinions on the matter.

"_Go for it, Mike!"_ Svetlana encouraged. _"You are ze best dancer! Svetlana promises to not take over, maybe for just one dance."_

"_Ayo, I think we all know who the real best dancer is,"_ said Vito. _"Go to the dance, if you start makin' an idiot of yourself like usual, I'll take over and strut my stuff. No chick will be able to resist you then."_

"_If you don't have a lady to take with you, then there's no point to the dance, mate. There's always the possibility that you might meet someone there, but let's be honest, your chances of hooking up are close to zero, and that's bein' kind. If you can find a sheila in time, go for it. If not, you'd be better off stayin' at home."_

"_Don't you dare go to any dances, ever!"_ Chester yelled. _"Dancing is just an excuse for kids to deafen us with the racket they call music! They'll be dancing together like animals! Stay away from the dance, you'll probably get hooked on that crack LSD the kids are all taking these days! Dang hippies!"_

"Guys, you're not helping. I'll decide for myself what I'm going to do," said Mike as he closed his locker.

"Who are you talking to?"

Mike whirled around so fast he nearly broke his neck. Lucy was standing before him, looking hot as always, and she had actually spoken to him. She never spoke to him, not unless he spoke first and she was being polite.

"Um, no one," he answered lamely.

"Well, I was wondering if you have a date to the dance on Saturday."

Mike had to force himself to act natural. "Um, no. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go."

"Well, if you do want to go, maybe we could go together."

"Yes! Yes, I would love to go to the dance with you. But, I thought you had a boyfriend."

"Fred and I aren't working out. Can you pick me up at my place at eight?"

"Yeah, sure! See you then."

Lucy smiled and walked away, and Mike leaned against his locker in shock with a happy grin on his face. Never would he have expected a girl to ask him out, least of all the hottest girl in school. Maybe his luck was finally changing.

He only had three days to prepare. When he went home that day, he tried on the suit Holly had bought for him. He hardly ever wore it and didn't really see the point of it, but she had insisted he have something nice to wear on formal occasions. Now he was glad she had insisted.

When he told Jack and Holly the news, they were excited for him, but they were also a bit worried. Why was Lucy all of a sudden interested in him? For years she had tried to pretend he didn't exist. But they weren't about to rain on his parade, so they wished him luck. Jack gave him pointers about charming women and Holly fussed over him and made him look his best, and on Saturday he drove to her house. He was so nervous and excited he could barely contain himself on the ride over. When he got to her house, he knocked on the door and waited outside. He had bought her flowers, but he hoped he got the right kind.

"Come in!" he heard her call.

He opened the door and tentatively stepped inside. The lights were off, he couldn't see a thing.

"Lucy?" he called. He fumbled for a light switch, and as soon as he turned it on he was hit in the face with an egg.

Several people from his class were there, all holding egg cartons and laughing at him. They started imitating his personalities.

"Ooh, look at me, I'm Svetlana the dancing queen!"

"Hold on mate, my croc senses are tingling!"

"Of all the personalities you could have made, you go with old man? Back in my day this, back in my day that, you're a real genius for making him."

"Do us all a favor, Mike, and just put a gun in your mouth!"

Mike tried to shield his face from the eggs. He was shocked at first, but his shock was quickly replaced by hurt and betrayal. He saw Lucy holding a camera, recording the whole thing and laughing right along with everyone else.

"Sorry Mike, but you're a freak, and you'll always be a freak!" she said loudly.

He didn't bother saying anything to her, nothing he could say would change anything. He dropped the flowers, which were soaked in egg yolk. He ran out the door, got in his car, and didn't look back.

He didn't immediately go home. He went to that abandoned apartment building where Jack had taught him to drive to work out his emotions so he wouldn't take them out on his parents. He got out of the car and tried to wipe the egg off his face, it was so gross. He hoped the suit wasn't ruined, he was covered in egg yolk from head to toe.

At first he was angry. He didn't get angry often, but now he was furious. Not at the people who did this to him, at least not entirely. He was angrier at himself for falling for such an obvious prank. Why would Lucy, the hottest, most popular girl in school, ever want to be with him? Why would any girl ever want to be with him?

He had really been looking forward to this night, hoping that it would change everything for him. Well, in a way, it had. He realized that something needed to change. If he stayed here the rest of his life, he would always be the town psycho, the person you warned your children about to keep them from misbehaving. He was tolerated here, nothing more. He had to get away from here, get a fresh start, a second chance. But with his medical expenses, they couldn't afford to move. He was stuck.

"_Wow, I have to say, I am impressed,"_ said Mal as he slow-clapped. _"Lucy went above and beyond my expectations. I should meet her sometime, she sounds like my kind of dame. But the question now Mike, is what are you going to do? Are you going to do what they said and put yourself out of your misery? Or are you going to keep trudging through your meaningless little existence, repeating the lie to yourself every day that you matter? No one will ever love you." _

"Why me?!" he yelled up at the starless sky. "Haven't I been put through enough? Am I just your punching bag? You never hold back, you hit me with everything you've got, why can't you ever cut me a break? I thought that if I tried hard enough I could be just like anyone else, be loved like anyone else, but I guess I was wrong! What do you want from me? Nothing I do is good enough, I ruin everything, and if I don't ruin it then my disorder does! What did I do to deserve this, huh? All I want is to live my life and make something of it, is that so bad? Right when I start to believe in myself, you tear me down again! Is this how it's always going to be? Because I can't take it anymore!"

He felt a single tear roll down his cheek. He shook his head and said, "What am I supposed to do?"

He blinked, and suddenly he wasn't by his car anymore. He was on the roof of the apartment building, five stories up. He didn't know who had taken control, it might have been more than one. His shoes were off, he saw them down below on the pavement. He looked at his arms; whoever had taken control had scribbled all over him with permanent marker, and he suspected they had drawn on his face, too. They had also cut both his arms. Whatever they had used to cut must not have been very sharp, because the cuts weren't deep enough to scar, they were more like scratches. He could only imagine what he must look like right now.

"Which one of you guys was it?" he sighed. He got no answer, not that he had expected one. Being up this high made him think of what that guy had said.

"_Do us all a favor, Mike, and just put a gun in your mouth!" _

At that moment, it didn't seem like such a bad idea. No one would have to deal with him anymore, no one would have to be oppressed by his very existence. If they wanted him gone so badly, it seemed rude to argue.

He took a step closer to the edge and looked down below. From this height, it would be over quickly. No one would find him until the next morning, or it might take longer than that. No more disorder, no more shame and humiliation, everyone could finally be happy. He wondered if the people involved in the prank would feel guilty, or if they would consider it a job well done. Would anyone care that he was dead? Would anyone miss him? He knew where he was going, so it didn't worry him. He'd given it his all and failed, he couldn't see any reason to keep going.

His personalities were yelling at him, trying to make him see reason, but he wasn't listening, he was tuning them out. Mal was goading him forward, full of excitement. _"Do a flip!"_

Mike took another step forward, his toes were over the edge, he was now so close that just a little nudge would send him falling. He closed his eyes, ready to jump, ready for the release.

But before he jumped, he thought of his parents. They would be devastated if he killed himself. They had done so much for him, given up so much for him, to just throw it all away like it was worth nothing would be selfish and ungrateful. He loved them so much, he didn't want to make them suffer. That was the only thing keeping him from ending it all that night. He took a step back away from the edge. He sat down and let his legs hang over the side and put his head in his hands.

He felt trapped, and he couldn't see any escape. It was like going through a long tunnel, with no end in sight. He had to do something, this couldn't continue. He had to get away from here, do something with his life, prove his worth, show the world that he was more than his diagnosis.

"My multiple personalities will not define me," he said quietly to himself. "I will leave an impact on this world, give them a reason to remember me that has nothing to go with my disorder. I'm going to make something of my life, show them that I'm not insane, somehow."

He was only slightly encouraged, he was still very hurt. He climbed down a ladder off the roof, picked up his shoes, and got back in his car and drove home. Jack and Holly expected the worst when they heard his car pull up early.

"I hope she only stood him up, that would be merciful," said Holly as they went to the door.

When he opened the door, they both gasped at the sight of him. Holly put her arms around him, not caring that she was getting egg all over herself.

"What happened Mike?" asked Jack, appalled at the sight of him.

He told them what happened, but he skipped the part in the parking lot and the kid who had told him to kill himself.

"One of my personalities came out because I got so upset, but they didn't do any harm. It's why I have marker all over myself. The video of the prank will be up on the internet by morning, I'm sure," he said quietly.

"You can be certain we'll do something about this," said Jack, his face red with anger. Never in his life had he been so angry.

"We won't let them get away with it, they will pay for this," said Holly through her teeth.

"Don't bother, punishing them won't change the way anyone thinks of me."

Mike went up the stairs and into the shower. Holly immediately picked up the phone and called the principal at his house. He kept his shirt on so he could have that time to think. He stood there letting the water hit his face, he didn't feel like doing much else.

"_Svetlana is so sorry about vat happened, Mike. Svetlana knows how good you are, even if zey don't."_

"_Even I gotta admit that's takin' it too far,"_ said Vito. _"But still, could have been worse. Suck it up, dweeb."_

"_Shoulda put a crocodile in her house,"_ Manitoba grumbled.

"_Ugh, eggs. Why'd it have to be eggs, couldn't they have used good food?"_

"Guys, could you please keep the talking to a minimum tonight? I'm really not in the mood."

They kept talking, but they did keep it down a little.

"Unbelievable!" said Holly as she slammed the phone down. "He's not going to do anything about it! It didn't happen on school grounds so it's out of his jurisdiction. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And it's not like their parents are going to do anything about it."

"Good."

"Good? You're okay with this?"

"No, but the way I see it, it justifies the plan I have in mind. You might not like it."

"All my plans involve wringing someone's neck, so we should probably go with yours. I assume it won't be a crime."

"I wouldn't say that. You remember my friend Bob with the cement mixer? I was thinking we'd enhance the cars of the kids who did it."

"I like the way you think," said Holly with a devious grin.

* * *

The next day, Mike didn't leave the house, and he was listless and quiet. Satchimo seemed to pick up on his mood and didn't try to play, he just followed him around everywhere. Mike would scoop him up and carry him, and he would nuzzle him lovingly. That made him feel a little better, but not much. He appreciated Satchimo's attempts to cheer him up, but nothing could get rid of the cloud of depression surrounding him. Holly didn't try talking to him much, she knew when to back off and give him space. All she wanted to do was hug him and take away his depression, but she couldn't, and that hurt her deeply.

He got several calls that day from people at school. They left messages on the answering machine lending him their support.

"Mike, it's Liam from gym. 'Course, you're never in control in gym so you probably don't know who I am, but I just wanted to say that I saw the video and it sucks. Those jerks had no right to do that, they took it way too far, it's sick. Hope you're doing okay."

"Hi Mike, this is Leshawna. You remember back when I was having trouble with algebra and the teacher recommended that I talk to you, even though you were a grade below me? Your tips were a lifesaver." He noticed she didn't introduce herself by saying, 'I was on Total Drama, surely you've heard of me.' "I would have probably failed without your help. I never thanked you for that, did I? Well, anyway, I just wanted to say that you didn't deserve what happened, and I feel sorry for you. Some people might think that prank was funny, but most of us don't, me especially. Lucy should be ashamed of herself, someone should egg her and those other jerks, see how they like it."

"It's Martin from school. This isn't easy for me to say, but it's been needed to be said for a long time. Mike, I just wanted to apologize for giving you such a hard time over the years, and for picking on you and beating you up. I've matured a little since then and I know now that what I did before was wrong. You were having a hard enough time already and I just made it worse. I kind of admire you for not quitting, even though you had every reason in the world to quit. I wish I could go back in time and fix my mistakes from before, but I can't, so you'll have to settle for this apology. Sorry, man."

"Hey Mike, it's Tara from drama club. I know we've never really been friends, but I was disgusted by what I saw in that video. I know that me and everyone else in school have never really been on your side, but we are now. One way or another, those jerks are going to pay for what they did. I just wanted you to know that not everyone at school is heartless. We got your back."

"Oh man, Mike, I am so sorry about what happened. I feel terrible for encouraging you to ask her out, I swear I had no idea that they were planning this, if I had I would have put a stop to it. Oh God, if I had known Lucy's true colors, I would have steered you as far away from her as possible. I mean, she's not the only one at fault here, but she was the bait, she took advantage of your feelings for her. After what Heather did to me and Gwen… I hate that you had to go through a similar experience. Look, call me as soon as you can, and don't let this get you down too much, buddy."

He even got one from his Biology teacher. "Hello Mike, it's Mr. Conner. I just wanted to see if you're doing all right, I heard about the prank last night. It was awful and cruel, and it made me angry just watching it. I know we don't always get along, what with Manitoba releasing all the frogs we were going to dissect and your personalities interrupting class in general, but I never thought badly of you. I actually consider you to be one of my favorite students, you're smart and hard-working and you certainly keep things interesting. Take care, Mike."

Mike was surprised to see that there were people who cared about him. They might never have really spoken to him before or made attempts to be friends, but they stuck by him when it mattered. These messages and the others lifted his spirits a little, but he was still downhearted.

That night, Jack and Bob took the cement mixer out and filled the cars of everyone involved with the prank with cement. As the icing on the cake, they also filled the principal's car with cement. It was a very nice car, they almost felt bad about ruining it.

The next morning, the story was already on the news. People had woken up to find their cars ruined and immediately called the police. The police came to question Jack and Holly since every victim blamed Mike. Mike was still asleep when they came, and so Jack left a note on the fridge that they had gone out for groceries.

"Did you fill those cars with cement?"

"Depends. What evidence do you have?" asked Jack. Both he and Holly looked the cop in the eye and showed no weakness.

"None, except victim testimonials. None of them saw you do it, and there are no fingerprints. What I'm wondering is, why did you do it?"

"Who says we did it?" asked Holly.

"Okay, if you had done it, why?"

"Let's just say this has been a long time coming. Those people hurt my son in terrible ways, he'll remember that horrible night for the rest of his life. It would only be fair to make them pay for that. Do you have children?"

"Two."

"Wouldn't you do the same, and more, for them? That's not to say we did anything. As far as anyone knows, we are completely innocent."

The officer sighed. "I can't hold you for lack of evidence. I know you did it though. I've seen the video, and while what you did was wrong, I would have done the same thing."

They left the police station, and the second they returned home, the phone rang. Holly went to answer it.

"What did they say?" asked Jack after she hung up the phone.

"Since we're not being arrested, the school is expelling Mike."

"Good, we can finally get him away from those leeches. I know he didn't want this, but it's for the best."

Mike came down the stairs then, still in his pajamas. "Morning," he mumbled as he passed.

"Mike, can we talk to you for a minute?" asked Holly gently.

"Sure," he said in a deadpan tone.

"Sweetheart, we've decided that it's time to pull you out of school. I know you wanted to keep going, but after what happened… it's time to give up." This was the first lie they had told him in years.

"I know, I can never show my face there again anyway."

"They don't deserve you there," said Jack. "You'll be happier once you're away from them."

He just shrugged.

Holly came over and embraced him. He hugged her back, but only half-heartedly.

"We'll teach you at home from now on, okay?"

"That'll be fine."

"Well, that's all we have to say. Are you going to be okay?"

"Eventually, I guess."

"We love you, Mike," said Jack.

Mike mumbled back something in response. He left the living room and went into the kitchen to pour himself some cereal. His parents felt so sorry for him.

Mike didn't say it out loud, but leaving school now meant that all those years of trying were for nothing. He felt like a failure for finally accepting defeat, his disorder had won this round. It seemed that his disorder always won, sooner or later. With each passing day, with each loss, fighting just seemed more and more pointless.

"I'd give anything to take that burden from him," said Jack quietly. "I'd suffer a thousand personalities if he could just live his life and be happy."


	19. Second Chance

They gave Mike a few days to recover, and then on Friday they started homeschooling him. He didn't need any teaching, this stuff just seemed to come naturally to him. He was still depressed from what had happened, though he tried to lighten up a little for his parents. Sometime before dinner, the doorbell rang. Holly went to answer it and then called for Mike.

"Mike! There are some people here to see you!"

Mike came down the stairs from his room. He saw Trent, Geoff, and DJ at the door.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Trent told us what happened, dude, and we wanted to try to help," said Geoff, grinning. "We're kidnapping you."

"What do you mean?"

"We're gonna take you out and do something fun," said DJ. "Get your mind off of what happened."

"Oh, thanks, but you don't have to. I don't really feel like doing anything anyway."

"That's exactly why you need to," said Geoff. "I always say that when you don't feel like partying, that's when you need a party the most."

"It's really nice of you, but-"

"It's just for a couple hours, it beats staying in here all by yourself," said Trent.

Mike really didn't feel like it, but he gave in anyway. "All right, I'll go."

"Awesome, we're going to have a great time," said Trent.

"Have fun you guys," said Holly, hoping this would lift Mike's spirits.

He followed them outside to Geoff's car. Geoff and Trent rode in the front, and Mike and DJ sat in the back.

"So, what are we doing?" Mike asked tentatively.

"Giving you some much needed bro-time. I was thinking we'd start out with laser tag," said Geoff.

They drove to the place and went inside. It was Mike and DJ against Trent and Geoff. Mike tried to make an effort to enjoy himself, or to at least play well enough that he wouldn't lose for DJ. Normally he loved laser tag, but the all fun had been sucked out of it.

"They're killing us out there," said DJ as they hid behind a wall.

"Sorry, I'll try to do better."

"Don't worry about doing better, it's just a game," he said as he put a hand on his shoulder. "I can tell your heart's not in it, and that's fine. Don't feel like you have to put on a happy face for us, we understand."

"I just don't want to waste your time."

"We're playing laser tag, Mike, we're not suffering. Now come on, Geoff's really bad at laser tag so if we let him win, it'll go to his head and we'll never hear the end of it."

Mike got in a few more hits, and he did feel a little better, but he was still feeling very low. Trent and Geoff won, but DJ didn't care.

"Trent tells us you're a big fan of action movies," said Geoff as they were walking to the car. "So next we're taking you to the movies to see the new spy movie. Have you seen it yet?"

"No, but I've heard it's good."

"I've seen it, it was awesome," said DJ as they got in the car and started driving. "Big twist ending, but don't worry, my lips are sealed."

"Thanks guys, I really appreciate all this," said Mike sincerely. "I know I'm not being much fun, but-"

"Hey, we've all been down in the dumps," said Geoff. "We did the same thing for Trent after his breakup with Gwen, and the guys did the same for me when Bridgey and I were having problems, it's what friends do. Homies help homies."

"But we're not even friends. I mean, we are now, but before we weren't. You only know I'm alive because of Trent. You don't owe me anything."

"Like you said, we're friends now, and I'm always looking to expand my list of friends," said Geoff cheerfully. "We're cheering you up, and we get to have fun, too, so it's a win-win for all of us."

"Now no more of that," said DJ. "Just have fun with your new friends."

They drove to the movies and bought their tickets. DJ bought them a big bucket of popcorn and they went into the theater. The movie was awesome, even though Geoff had a habit of talking during important scenes and Trent and DJ had to shush him.

As they were leaving the theater, Trent asked, "So Mike, what'd you think?"

"It was great, I enjoyed it. It was better than I thought it was going to be."

"Starting to feel better?" asked DJ.

"A little."

"Well, we've made some progress. Let's go get dinner, and that'll be it for tonight."

They went to a pizza place, and when Mike tried to pay, Geoff handed his money to the cashier first. He was paying for all of them.

"Geoff, I can't let you pay for me. You've done enough."

"Don't make DJ have to restrain you, it's my treat."

They went to the buffet and then found a table.

"I just want to thank you guys again for this," said Mike with a little smile. He had only gotten one piece of pizza, and he didn't plan on eating much of it. "I didn't want to come, but I'm glad I did."

"You've just got to let Lucy go, man," said Geoff. "I know you liked her, but it's time to move on."

"I'm not depressed because of Lucy, I know I'll get over her soon. I'm not about to give her the satisfaction of ruining my life. It's the fact that this will probably be the norm for the rest of my life. I feel like I don't belong anywhere, because no one wants me around. I mean, I've got you guys and my family, but that's just a handful out of a whole town. Sometimes I wake up and think I can take on the world, but then other times, like now, I don't see any hope for myself with a disorder like this. It holds me back so much, how can I ever do anything with my condition always ruining everything for me? I don't think I'll ever be able to make anything of myself, I've hit a dead end."

"Don't say that, I know it looks bleak now, but it'll get better," said DJ.

"I've been telling myself that for years, and look where I am now."

"Well, whatever happens, you've still got us," said Geoff. "I know that doesn't mean much, but it's something."

"I just want to give up on everything and stop trying, because no matter how hard I try, I always fail."

"Mike, I got you a little something," said Trent. "I felt terrible about pushing you to ask out Lucy, and I want to try to make it up to you."

"It wasn't your fault, you didn't know. You don't need to apologize."

"Still though, I should have been able to see it, I could have stopped it from ever happening. I should have pushed you to go with someone I knew for a fact was nice. Here, take this as my apology." He reached into his pocket and took out a gold necklace with his face on it.

"Um, kind of an odd gift, don't you think?" said Mike as Trent handed it to him.

"It's to remind you of who's really in charge of that brain of yours, and maybe it'll help you find your way back. Just a thought I had."

"I don't think it'll work, but thanks Trent, it means a lot. I'll hold onto it, and who knows, maybe it'll come in handy someday," he said as he put the necklace in his pocket.

"Awesome. Well, it looks like we got to do option two after all."

They finished their pizza and then dropped Mike off back at his house. "Remember Mike, if you ever want to go to a sweet party, you've got my number," said Geoff.

"Let's do that again sometime soon," said DJ. "We'll wait until you're feeling better and then we'll whoop their butts at laser tag."

"Bye guys!" said Mike as they drove off. He went back inside, his spirit lifted but still feeling gloomy.

It was now ten o'clock, and Mike was more than ready for bed. But as he was opening the door to go inside, he blacked out.

When he woke up again, he found himself sitting on a bed, but it wasn't his bed. His shirt was off and he was in a dark room, and he could hear loud music playing through the walls.

"_Ayo, what gives? I'm not done yet, wait your turn."_

"Vito? What's going on?"

"_I'm helping you move on and put Lucy behind you. Now, there's a chick in the bathroom and she'll be back here any minute, so if you'd be so kind as to give the wheel back over that would be really swell of you."_

Mike didn't get a chance to argue, he blacked out again before he could.

When he woke up the second time, a door opened and a blonde girl in lingerie came in. She climbed on the bed and looked at him in a way no girl had ever looked at him before.

"You ready sugar?" she purred.

She stroked the side of his face and twirled a lock of his hair in her fingers. She ran her fingers over his pecs and moved in for a kiss. Absolutely mortified, Mike leapt out of the bed, but his legs were twisted in the blanket and he tripped and fell on the floor.

"What's the matter, sugar? Am I too much for you to handle?"

Mike looked up and saw panties with flowers on it hanging from the ceiling fan. It must have happened when Vito was in control. "Oh God!" He discovered to his horror that he was completely naked. He saw his clothes on the floor and put them on as fast as he could. His shirt was on backwards and inside out and he almost tripped getting his pants on, but the second he was clothed he ran out of there faster than lightning.

"I'm so sorry!" he shouted back as he ran.

"Hey, get back here!" the girl yelled at him. "You bring me up here promising me a good time and then you run away? What the hell's wrong with you?"

Mike ran down a flight of stairs and found that he was in someone's house, and they were throwing a wild party. Deafening music filled the air and Mike maneuvered as much as he could to avoid grinding bodies. He ended up jumping out an open window and into a bush to escape. Once he was outside, he started noticing that his vision was blurry and he was feeling light-headed.

"Am I drunk?" he asked himself.

His shock and humiliation in there had temporarily sobered him up, but now he was feeling the effects of alcohol in his system. He had no idea how much Vito had had to drink. When he tried to stand, he wobbled and fell back down.

"How many times have you slept with a girl you just met?"

"_Let's just say it's been a while since you've been pure, my friend. But it's not just me, Manitoba has gotten with some girls, too."_

"_You'd better believe it. But I haven't been with as many as trout-lips over here. Unlike him, I got standards."_

"_What did you say?! You wanna go, bro? We'll go right now."_

"_Manitoba, Svetlana is okay vith you flirting vith other girls, but if you take it too far I vill hurt you."_

"_Of course not, Sugar Glider. Like I said, I got standards."_

"Vito, why did you do this?" asked Mike. His first thought was that while he couldn't get any girls to like him because of his alters, his alters could get as many girls as they wanted. His second thought was how embarrassing it was that they had been with so many girls, they'd see him and expect him to remember it, what would he do if he ever met any of them?

"_Ayo, it wasn't just for me you know. I got us a couple girls, one for me and one for you. You should really be grateful, I got you your one chance with a babe, but you blew it. I even gave you the hotter one to be a good sport, and you squandered my sacrifice. This would have been a win-win deal if you weren't such a wienie."_

"I don't want to have sex with a stranger, if I ever do it I want it to be with someone I love."

"_Gross. And I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you, the world is full of Lucys."_

"I'm going home now." He started staggering towards home, but then Vito seized control again and ripped off his shirt.

"Those guys have a motorcycle!" He handled the alcohol better than Mike, and he ran over to the guys with the motorcycle.

They were all as drunk or more so than Vito, and so they were perfectly happy to let a total stranger borrow their motorcycle. He did donuts and wheelies, and then they started setting up ramps for him to go over. Each time they raised the ramps higher and higher. He was about to attempt going over someone's car when the police arrived. He ditched the motorcycle and ran straight home.

"Mike, where have you been?" asked Holly when she heard the door open. She was in her bathrobe, she had stayed up all night waiting for him. "It's three in the morning!"

She went to see him and saw it was Vito. She could smell booze on him, and he was hanging on to the door for support. "Jack, get down here!" she yelled.

Jack was upstairs, praying by the bed. He had been for hours.

"Lord, you heal the sick and free people from their demons. Won't you free my son from his demons? He's a good boy, he doesn't deserve all this. You could just snap your fingers and his personalities would be gone. He wouldn't have to deal with the drugs or the psychiatrists or the bullying ever again. Why won't you free him and, you know, fix him?"

He heard Holly call him and he went down the stairs to find Vito sprawled on the couch giggling like an idiot.

"Is he drunk?"

"He's completely wasted."

"Ayo, you two need to loosen up, get drunk yourselves if that's what it takes," he slurred. "I had a great time, thanks for asking. Banged a girl, not sure of her name, it was either Brennifer or Jittney. And then I did the coolest stunts on a motorcycle, I am the biker king. You should have seen me. You probably can, I think one of the guys had a camera. Course, even if he did, he was so drunk I'll bet he only recorded the bushes." He broke out in more giggles.

Jack picked up Vito and tossed him over his shoulder. Vito tried to protest, but his fists didn't connect with anything. Jack deposited him on the bed and shut the door. He heard a thud, and opened the door to see that Vito had gotten out of bed only to pass out on the floor. He picked him up and put him back in bed. He found himself hoping Vito would stay in control tomorrow as well, if only so that Mike wouldn't have to deal with the hangover.

Holly went to their room, and he followed her. She sat down on the bed, and he sat down beside her.

"Jack, his alters are getting more and more out of control every day," said Holly as she rubbed her temples. "I mean, he's better at containing them, but when he can't there's no telling what they'll do."

"I know. They couldn't do as much when he was younger, but now that he's growing up there's more they can do. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I wonder if we made a mistake. There are days when I wish I could just run away from it all and never look back. Do you ever feel that way?"

"I feel bad for saying it, but yeah, I do sometimes. What if we had chosen differently? We could have had our dream house, we wouldn't have to worry every second if our child is doing something dangerous, or about be killed by an alternate personality. We could have adopted as many kids as we wanted."

"It's always so stressful, I'm always worried that if I relax even a little something will go wrong."

"I've lost friends over this, and you lost the job you loved, we've had to give up so much. I want to believe he can make something of his life, I want to believe he can hold down a job and get married and have kids of his own and do all the things other people do, but there are nights when I lie awake worrying that he won't be able to because of his condition. He tries so hard, but I'm afraid it won't be enough. People say he'll probably end up in a mental institution, and I fight them on it, but I worry that they're right. He's so smart and talented, but if his personalities become too strong for him that won't matter. If he ever had to be locked up indefinitely in an asylum, or if one of those half-formed alters were to kill him one day, I don't know what I would do."

"Do you think we bit off more than we could chew?"

"Of course we did, we're idiots! What were we thinking?"

"I guess we were thinking that maybe we could cure him. Maybe not consciously, but there's no doubt we wanted to help him get better."

"I just don't know how much more I can take of this. Most of the time I think I could do it forever, but then reality hits me in the face like it did tonight. Vito might have gotten that girl pregnant, he could have gotten Mike arrested, or he could have gotten him killed! We can't stop Vito or control him, it's a miracle you got him to stop smoking. We can't control any of them, and I'm so scared one of them will get him killed someday."

"Sometimes I just wish we had our old lives back. Back when it was just you and me and nothing exciting ever happened."

"Do you even remember what normal feels like?" asked Holly.

"My normal compass is skewed beyond repair."

"If only we could have had kids of our own, we wouldn't have all these problems. Do you remember when we were first married, how we decided to wait a year before we started having kids? We thought we'd have a boatload and so we took that year for ourselves, but then the babies never came."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I'm the one that's barren as the Gobi desert, you could have had all the kids you wanted with anyone else. I had to watch all my friends get pregnant, waiting to get pregnant myself, only to find out that I can't and that I would never get to know the joy they felt with their babies. Rachel and Dale have four and number five is on the way, and they're all accidents. They never wanted kids, but they got them anyway. Why does Rachel get so many and I get none? I know you always wanted kids of your own, and I couldn't give them to you."

Holly started to cry, and Jack said, "Come here, you."

He put his arms around her and said, "I never held that against you, Holly. If I had to choose between you and Rachel and all her kids, I'd choose you any day of the week. And at least this way I can't pass on my shortness to the next generation."

Holly laughed and said, "I think my tall genes would have canceled out your vertically-challenged ones. But I guess we did end up with a big family, really. We're always having to keep an eye on his alternate personalities and keep them out of trouble, so in a way, they're our kids, too."

Jack laughed, and she laughed with him. "And we can't ever complain about things being boring. There is no such thing as boring in this house."

"I do wonder what it's like, having a normal family. Sometimes I wish ours was, but at this point, I wouldn't even know what to do with a normal kid," said Jack. "You know, you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I've always thought that, and I still do."

"I'll always love you Jack, even when we're old and gray, which won't be much longer with Mike around. That boy is more trouble than he's worth," she said as she kissed him.

"I didn't mean what I said about Mike, I wouldn't trade him for the world, with or without his disorder," said Holly after a while.

"I know, I didn't mean it either. But I can't help thinking that way sometimes, especially on nights like this. I wouldn't want to live in a world where he's not my son, and I'll never regret taking him in."

"I still wish we could have had children of our own, but if we had, we wouldn't have adopted Mike. My prayers were answered in such a strange way, but I love him so much. I think that if I had the option, having babies or having Mike, I'd still choose him. Maybe I'm crazy, but it's the truth. Maybe it wasn't the smartest decision, but it was the best one of my life," said Holly.

"Better than me?" he teased.

"It's a tie."

* * *

The next morning, Mike was leaning over the toilet, puking his guts up. He had a pounding headache and the room was spinning. The hangover would have made him sick enough on its own, but combined with his meds it just made everything worse.

He didn't want to spend all day in bed, so he went downstairs and sat on the couch. Satchimo barked and leapt up and settled in his lap. Mike absently wondered if he noticed when he switched personalities, or if they all looked the same to him. Holly had once told him that Satchimo seemed slightly more hesitant around the others, like he could somehow sense they weren't his master. He didn't have a problem with them, he just liked Mike best. He took comfort in knowing that at least his dog didn't judge him for his personalities.

He turned the TV on and saw a commercial for Total Drama.

"Hey future campers!" said Chris McLean. "Want a chance at a million dollars? Of course you do, it's major moolah! Who wouldn't want to compete for a chance to be rich and famous? Losers, that's who. Are you a loser? Prove you're a winner on Total Drama! Send in your video audition to the address at the bottom of the screen and that's all it takes. Show me why you deserve a spot on my show, I'll take the most drama-filled auditions, and trust me, I want to be drowning in the drama. So just to recap, you want money and you want fame. I can ensure you you'll get at least one of those on my show. Later campers!"

"Who would be dumb enough to sign up for Total Drama?" Mike asked himself. But then it occurred to him that this might be the second chance he was looking for. He could go on the show, where no one would know about his disorder. He could keep it hidden and play the game and get his name out there, and show everyone what he could do. It's not like he was doing anything else over the summer, it might be fun. He could make friends, and maybe even win the money.

His parents and doctor would never approve. He decided he would talk to his doctor about it first, but his parents could not know, not until he signed a contract and they couldn't stop it.

He wanted to get started on his audition right then, but being hungover wouldn't make a very good impression. He would have to wait.

* * *

"Dr. Lace, have you ever seen Total Drama?"

This question was random, but she wasn't perturbed by it. They were in the middle of one of his therapy sessions, and right before they had been talking about the incident at Lucy's house. Bringing up the show was partly an excuse to stop talking about it.

He didn't have too many sessions left with her because she was a child psychiatrist, and once he turned eighteen she couldn't treat him anymore. He dreaded having to look for a new psychiatrist, Dr. Lace had been with him since the beginning, he didn't see how any other doctor could ever replace her. His parents were already looking into a future doctor, while he tried to make the most of the short time he had left with her.

"I've seen commercials, but I've never watched it. I hear it's brutal."

"What if I were to audition for it?"

Dr. Lace dropped the pen she was writing notes with. She picked it up and calmly said, "Why would you want to do that?"

"To show everyone that I can do anything anyone else can do. And there's the possibility that I could make some friends there."

"Mike, I would advise against anyone going on that show. They deliberately endanger people's lives and humiliate them for ratings. Now, you've made a lot of progress, don't think I don't know that. You've come a long way in managing your personalities, especially the half-formed ones. Your half-alters don't come out nearly as much as they used to, you're doing very well in keeping them contained. You've improved a tremendous amount since we started, but with a disorder like yours, just think how people could exploit it. Not to mention, but you wouldn't have any access to me, and we must continue these sessions. I'm sorry Mike, but the whole thing would be a bad idea."

"I know, I know, I wasn't being serious. I was just thinking out loud, I'm not going to sign up."

"Good, you'll be glad you didn't once the new season starts. Try to find something less dangerous to do, and I'm all for it."

Mike had expected her to utterly reject the idea, but he had been hoping she would show support him so he could talk to her about it. Now he would have to keep it top secret.

He was tired of hearing people tell him what he couldn't do, he would show them what he could do.

* * *

Mike's first audition attempt went horribly. He choked and screwed the whole thing up. He was about to redo it, but then he stopped. Chris said he wanted to drown in drama, and this tape was packed with potential drama. He had mentioned his psychiatrist, but he wouldn't know why he needed one. That only upped the drama more. A disorder of any kind would only make things juicier for him, he would really bring in the ratings. The more normal an audition was, the more likely Chris would ignore it or fall asleep watching it.

He mailed in the first take, crossing his fingers that Chris would take it. He spent the rest of the day riding his bike around the house to relax, letting his thoughts carry him.

* * *

Five weeks later, he received a letter in the mail.

"Mike, you got a letter!" said Holly. "And a manila envelope."

He ran into the kitchen and took the letter and the envelope. He didn't open them until he was safe in his room. He held his breath as he read the words.

_Dear Mike,_

_Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that we have accepted your audition and chosen you to compete._

He was so shocked he dropped the letter. He quickly picked it back up and read the rest.

_Included is a contract. Read through it with your parents or a lawyer and then sign to finalize the deal. Once signed, this contract cannot be terminated unless both parties are in agreement. After you sign it, mail it back in the return envelope provided and you will have secured your place in the next season. If you do not respond within two weeks, we will assume you have changed your mind and you have forfeited your chance to win. On June 1__st __of next year, go to the below address where you will be taken to Camp Wawanakwa. We hope to see you there!_

Mike read the letter five more times before he even thought about the contract. He took out the contract and found that it was several pages long, and most of it was legal jargon in tiny print. He skimmed the pages, not really paying attention. In hindsight, he probably should have read it more closely. He didn't care what it said, he signed it and put it in the return envelope. He silently jumped for joy.

The next morning, he put it in the mailbox and went back inside. He whistled as he entered the kitchen for breakfast.

"You sure are cheerful this morning," said Jack as he read the newspaper.

"I am feeling more upbeat today."

"I'm glad," he said with a smile. "So, what are you mailing?"

"College applications," he had practiced the lie in front of the mirror to be sure his face gave nothing away.

"Already?"

"It's never too early to start."

He felt bad about lying to his parents, but they would never let him go if they knew the truth. They'd never let him leave the house again if they found out.

"Still going into acting?"

At least this part he could be truthful about. "You bet I am. I might be able to get a scholarship."

"Someday you're going to be the lead in a movie, girls will be screaming for your autograph and you'll get your name in the hall of fame."

"I don't know about that, but it would be cool."

Mike spent the next several months waiting in quiet anticipation and excitement for June 1st. Jack and Holly didn't know how he had so suddenly overcome his depression, but they weren't complaining.

A month before the show was to begin, he called Leshawna for some advice.

"Hello?" she said when she picked up.

"Hi Leshawna, it's Mike from school."

"Hey Mike, long time no see. You've never called me before, what's the occasion?"

"Well, I wanted to ask you something…"

"Shoot."

"Um, I was wondering if you could give me some advice for Total Drama."

There was a long silence, he almost wondered if she had hung up. She finally said, "Why would you need advice for that?"

"I might have been accepted to compete," he said sheepishly.

"And have you seen the first three seasons?" she asked calmly. "I think watching just one episode would be enough."

"Yeah, I've watched all three."

"Well then. Are you serious? Mike, are you insane?" she yelled.

"Well…"

"That was tactless, I didn't mean it that way. But really, what are you thinking? You must be crazy if you're even thinking about going on that show. And no, I don't think this just because of your condition, in case you were wondering. My little brother wanted to audition, but I set him straight. Take it from someone who survived it, it's not a good idea. The money isn't worth it, and you're not guaranteed to win."

"I don't care about the money."

"Then why on earth are you going?"

"Because it's my ticket out of this place."

"You can't go on a show like that, with your disorder they'll eat you alive! You think having your disorder be treated like a joke at school is bad, try having it be a joke to the entire planet."

"It's nice to see you have such confidence in me."

"I'm just tryin' to look after your sorry behind, since you are clearly not doing it yourself. Does your mama know about this?"

"No, and don't tell her. She doesn't need to know."

"Mike, it's a bad idea, you'd better not go through with it."

"It's too late, I already signed the contract, so it's too late to drop out. If you want to help, you can give me advice."

"My advice? You want my advice? My advice is to stop taking stupid pills."

"Look Leshawna, maybe this idea is stupid, maybe I'm stupid, but I don't have many options here. I'm the town psycho, that's all I've ever been since I came here six years ago, and I can't take it anymore. I'm so sick of being the crazy guy."

"You're not crazy, and would you rather be like those jerks who pranked you? Screw them! Quit tryin' to fit the mold, Mike! The mold itself is a myth, you're better off doing your own thing, but that does not include joining the Total Drama cast as one of Chris' ratings monkeys! That show won't help anything."

"When people look at me, they either look at me with disdain or pity. I don't want people to avoid me and I don't want people's pity, I just want to be treated like a person, like everyone else. I know it wasn't the best move, but I don't know what else to do. I have to get out of here, do something with my life, prove myself. I already doubt myself enough for both of us, do you think you could at least pretend to believe I have a chance?"

She sighed heavily. "I'd kick your butt if you had a butt to kick. Okay Mike, maybe you do have a chance. I'll help you, us foster kids gotta stick together, I guess."

"You were adopted? I didn't know that."

"There's plenty you don't know about me. Now let's make this quick, Harold's coming over soon. First of all, the producers are gonna portray you in the way that boosts the ratings the most, even if it's an inaccurate portrayal. There's hours of film that they have to edit and squeeze into twenty minutes, so most of what happens gets cut out. Katie and Sadie aren't as ditzy in real life, Eva's not quite as aggressive, and if anything, Justin is even more in love with himself. That's part of why I think this is a bad idea, they might show you in a really bad light. They could only show footage of when Vito's out and everyone in the world would think you're a dim-witted Jersey tough guy who picks fights with everyone and flirts with every hot girl he sees, they would have no way of knowing that's not the real you."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that."

"I don't see that happening, but you get my point. As you probably already know, kissing up works great on Chris, don't be afraid to use that if you need to. Don't eat too much of Chef's cooking, wouldn't be surprised if someone's died after eatin' that stuff. Try to make alliances with strong or smart players to protect yourself. You're smart and you've got some muscle, that'll make you a little valuable to the others. Don't show off too much though, if you come off as too big a threat they might eliminate you to protect themselves. I don't have to tell you this, but don't let the game get to your head, don't be a jerk. And try to stay alive in the challenges, don't get yourself killed. If I were you, I'd tell everyone when you get there about your MPD, that way they'll understand when you switch and won't hold it against you."

"That's what my fourth grade teacher did, and it ruined any chance of me making friends. You saw how it was in high school, no one would give me the time of day because of it, and it led to me being publicly humiliated. I have to keep it secret, at least long enough to make some friends and prove to everyone that it won't dominate my life and that I can do anything anyone else can do."

"Just don't wait too long, the sooner you cross that bridge the better. I guess the only other advice I can give you is keep your shirt on and keep hats off. Keep 'em hidden as long as you can, and try to win. Oh, and don't let anyone use your personalities to take advantage of you, don't give 'em that kind of power. That's all I have to say."

"Thanks Leshawna, I really appreciate it."

"I'll be rooting for you, so you'd better not let me down out there. Show everyone what you're made of, prove to the world that Mike Skinner can do whatever the hell he wants, screw MPD. I'm not pretending here, I really think you can do it."

"And if you're right and it turns out to be a disaster, just have a paper bag waiting for me to cover my face with when I get home."

"You got it. See ya, Mike."

She hung up, and left Mike feeling more excited and more anxious about the competition.

The next day, Trent called. Their conversations usually were about music, the latest movies, and girls. But they always inevitably ended up on the topic of Gwen. Of all Trent's friends Mike was the best listener, so he felt comfortable talking about her with him. He respected her relationship with Duncan and he was content just being her friend, but he was still in love with her and he missed her. Mike didn't mind listening to him talk about her, he was just happy to be there for him.

Right before he was about to start talking about her, Mike interrupted and said, "Hey Trent, what would you say if I told you I was going on Total Drama?"

"Mike, that's awesome! You're going to do great, are your parents excited? My dad wasn't too happy, but my mom was. That is, before we knew what it was really like."

"Actually, they don't know about it, and neither does my psychiatrist."

"Are you sure you shouldn't talk to them about it first?"

"They'd try to stop me, it'll just be easier if I don't."

"Wow Mike, I didn't know you were such a rebel."

"So, you really think I have a chance?"

"Yeah, I do. I mean, I would feel better about it if you would at least talk to your doctor first, but I can see that I'm not going to be able to talk you into it. I think it's great that you're going out and doing things, this is a big step up for you. Are you going to tell them about your disorder?"

"No, then it would just be repeating high school."

"I want to say that you should tell everyone, but that would make me a hypocrite because I didn't tell anyone about mine. I've owned up to it now and everyone knows, but I kept it secret way too long."

"I might tell them at some point, if I think they can handle it. Otherwise, I'm keeping it secret."

"You know, your personalities will actually probably be a good thing on the island. They aren't around here, but out there in the middle of a challenge, they could give you the edge."

"Yeah, I guess."

"But I'm sure you'll do great on your own, too."

"Thanks, Trent. I'm glad at least one person doesn't expect me to fail miserably out there."

Mike only told one other person that he was going on the show, the only adult he could trust with something like this.

"Hey Nana." He was sitting in his room, watching Satchimo chase his tail.

"Mike! I'm so glad you called. I just got back from jetskiing and I'm bored again, this call is exactly what the doctor ordered. By the way, they just put in a water slide at the beach, you can try it out when you come visit me next summer."

"Actually Nana, I'm not going to be able to make it to your house next summer. See, I signed up for a reality game show called Total Drama-"

"Really? I love that show! And you're competing? Mike, I've been waiting so long for you to find your adventurous side! I knew Manitoba didn't have it all, I knew you had it in you, I'm so excited!"

"You're excited?" he said incredulously. "You're not going to scold me or tell me to tell my parents or try to stop me?"

"Mike, I married twice, eloped both times. By the way, don't elope, if you ever get married you're going to have a proper wedding. My first husband and I spent years of our marriage on the rode on our motorcycles, until he got into a fight with a bull and lost. You've seen me, I can't live if I'm not doing something potentially dangerous. Life's not worth living if it doesn't have a little risk, so of course I want you to be the same! This isn't the way I expected it to come out, but I like it. You're going to have so much fun, and you're going to win first place. I'd go with you if it weren't for that idiotic age limit set on it. You'll just have to play for me."

Mike had expected her to be okay with him going, but not this okay. He grinned broadly as he said, "I will Nana. Just don't tell anyone I'm doing it until after the show starts."

"You got it. I'm so proud of you, Mikey."

When the day finally came, Mike quietly packed a suitcase the night before. He made sure to bring enough medication to get him through the next several weeks, and he also made sure to pack plenty of shirts. He saw Trent's gift on the bedside table and he packed it, as well. Who knows, it might bring him luck, or something.

Jack and Holly were both at work, so sneaking out was no problem. Being left home alone at all felt like a privilege, only a few months ago had they started to feel comfortable enough to leave him at home by himself and go on drives alone. It was only because he had improved in keeping his alters contained and controlled. They were still a nuisance and caused problems, but now they usually only came out when triggered. Usually.

He carried his suitcase to the door and when he opened it, there was Satchimo waiting for him with a stick to play fetch, his tail wagging eagerly. He followed him all the way to the car, and when Mike opened the door, he hopped in to go for a ride.

"Sorry buddy, but I can't take you with me on this trip," said Mike as he took him out and set him on the ground. He scratched behind his ears and said, "This place is going to change my life, I can feel it. You cheer me on, okay? And take good care of Mom and Dad."

Mike hugged his dog and he licked his face. He laughed and patted him on the head and then got in the car and drove off. Satchimo went back to the porch and hopped up in the hammock to take a nap.

During the past months of waiting, Mike had been telling himself that his parents would be fine and there was nothing to worry about. But once he cranked the car, he was hit by a powerful wave of guilt. He was about to leave them for weeks without saying goodbye. What if he was horribly injured down there? He could actually die and never see them again. What kind of son was he for doing something like this? But it had to be done. Something had to change, and this was the only way he could do it. He was taking his life back, and nothing would stand in his way.

"_Hell yeah, Total Drama!"_ said Vito. _"That show's got some smokin' hot babes, and I can show off my sculpted abs. I worked hard on 'em all these years, they deserve to be shown on TV!"_

"_Svetlana can perform her gymnastics for ze whole world!"_

"_I'll explore every inch of that island and see all it has to offer. I've been itchin' to take on Sasquatchanakwa."_

"_Dang reality TV, dang game shows, dang teenagers. The island's gonna be too hot, the kids will be too loud, the animals will get too close, it's gonna set my arthritis off somethin' awful!"_

"Do you guys think I'm doing the right thing? For me, I know you're going to enjoy it."

"_You should have told your parents, zey vill not be happy about zis."_

"_You need adventure in your life, this is the best decision you've ever made, bandicoot."_

"I really hope I'm not making a mistake."

"_Too late to back out now, loser."_

"Yeah, I'll just have to make the most of it and give it my all. Do you guys think I can win?"

Vito laughed and said_, "Well sure! You know, if every other contestant ends up in the hospital in a coma."_ Svetlana smacked him. _"Ow!"_

"_Of course you can, but ve vill be zere to help!"_

"_I'm gonna win and use the money to go on a real expedition, and buy myself sharp new fedora."_

He didn't say it out loud, but he really hoped he could win by himself, without any help from his personalities.

He drove two hours to the address on the letter. It was a little office by a dock. Inside, he passed several people, and he wasn't sure which were contestants and which were interns.

He was directed to a room where a woman interviewed him. He was so nervous it brought his personalities out, and though he had no memory of what had transpired when he wasn't in control, the weird looks told him it wasn't good. Still, he refused to let that get him down.

He filled out some forms, one of which was a medical form. He decided to "accidentally" leave off his disorder.

After all the papers were filled out, he was ushered onto a boat. On his way on board, a girl with short blonde hair in gym sweats shoved him.

"Out of the way, string bean!"

She shoved him into another girl, a girl with red pigtails. His cheeks blushed scarlet in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, excuse me," he said.

"No problem," she said with a smile.

He couldn't help but notice how pretty she was.

* * *

"Mike, I hope you're hungry because I brought Chinese food!" Holly announced when she got home.

Jack was lying on the floor doing sit-ups. His doctor had prescribed more exercise, and though he loathed it, he kept up with the regimen. He had the news on the TV, and the top story was about how notorious jewel thief Violet Rainey was still on the run from police.

"Where's Mike?" she asked.

He finished his workout and stood up. Panting, he said, "I think he went out for a drive. I'm going to take a shower and then reward myself with a donut."

"That's weird."

"I know donuts aren't part of the health plan-"

"No, I mean, Satchimo's here, he's outside sleeping on the hammock. Mike always takes Satchimo with him when he goes out."

"Maybe he was going to a store, somewhere where dogs aren't allowed. He's probably out with Trent."

"But he always tells us when he has plans so we know one of his alters didn't take off with him."

"He probably just forgot."

"Yeah, I know, I'm overreacting."

"Don't be a smother mother," he said as he went up the stairs.

"You be quiet." Holly went into the kitchen and noticed a note lying on the table. She quickly read it and then screamed.

"What is it? What's wrong?" said Jack as he ran back to the kitchen.

"I was right! Read this!" she said as she thrust the note out to him.

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_I'm sorry you have to find out this way, but I'm going on Total Drama. I auditioned for it last fall and I was chosen to compete. I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't let me go. Don't even try to fight it, once the contract has been signed it can't be undone. I'll probably be on the island by the time you read this, anyway._

_I can't just sit at home anymore, hoping things will get better. Things won't ever get better unless I do something about it. Please try to understand, I just don't have any better alternatives. I'm not doing it for the money, I'm doing it to show people that I'm more than my disorder and that I can do the same things as anyone else. Really though, I'm trying to prove it to myself, because most of the time I can't make myself believe it. _

_Thank you for always believing in me, and for everything you've done for me. I'll come back home as soon as I can, but for now it's goodbye. I love you both so much, and I'm going to miss you while I'm gone. Thank you for always being there for me, and for letting me be your son._

_-Mike._

"I can't believe this!" Jack nearly shouted. "How could he just up and leave without warning us? It's so unlike him, what is he thinking?"

"Maybe it wasn't him, maybe it was one of his personalities. Manitoba would do something like this!"

"It's in his handwriting," said Jack. "Mike chose this of his own free will."

"I'm going to kill him. I swear, when he gets home, he's a dead man."

"We'll kill him, if Chris McLean doesn't kill him first."


	20. The Island

_**Author's Note: **__I won't be writing the entirety of TDROTI or TDAS. As a general rule, if you saw it in the show, you won't see it here. There are exceptions, but mostly you'll be seeing things that weren't shown on camera._

* * *

As Mike lay in bed on his first night on the island, he thought about how the first day had gone. He knew to expect brutal challenges from watching the past seasons of the show, and he had braced himself for it. But no amount of preparation could prepare him for the real deal.

Still though, the pain was worth it. If he had never come here, he never would have met Zoey. He hadn't come here looking for a girlfriend, the thought had never once crossed his mind. He couldn't believe it when she spoke to him on the boat, she actually seemed to like him, and it boggled his mind. No girl had ever shown genuine interest in him before, he'd all but given up on dating entirely.

They had only known each other for a day, but he felt a connection to her already. He knew there was no such thing as love at first sight, but that didn't stop his heart from beating faster when he thought about her, or how he had gotten butterflies in his stomach every time she spoke to him that day. He wanted to spend his time here getting to know her better. She was so nice and cute, and she had spoken to him, more than once. He hoped he wouldn't end up scaring her off. She had handled Chester pretty well, overall.

"_It's great to see you already looking into other girls after the Lucy incident, you must be so trusting. Or masochistic, I think the two are synonymous,"_ said Mal. _"She might like you now, but she won't once she learns your secret. How long do you think it'll be before she finds out what you really are? And what do you think she'll do when she finds out? I hope she's as creative or more so than Lucy, because if you're going to reject someone on international TV, you might as well make it really dramatic and painful. You're better suited to being alone anyway, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can stop setting yourself up for heartbreak. I know it seems hard now, but you'll be happier that way."_

For one moment he thought of Lucy, and he worried Zoey might be the same way. But he forced the thought out of his head. He would not compare Zoey to Lucy, not in any way. Zoey was a completely different person and he wouldn't compare her to anyone. As far as he was concerned, Lucy had never had a part in his life at all.

He still had to keep his disorder a secret, though. Zoey could not find out, at least not until he was sure she could handle it and wouldn't get freaked out by it. Maybe that time would never come, and he would have to keep it secret forever. That probably wasn't an option, but he had to do everything in his power to keep her, and everyone else, from finding out for as long as possible. If he played his cards right, she might want to stay in touch with him after the show was over. If he screwed up, he'd never see her again.

He wondered if she would ever date a guy like him. The thought made him smile. But even if she would never want to date him, maybe she would still agree to be his friend. He could live with that.

* * *

Jack and Holly spent the entire first episode cringing. These episodes weren't happening live, they had happened days earlier, which meant that if Mike were to get hurt in some way, they wouldn't know about it until the next episode aired. They had never watched the show before, but now they had no choice, they had to make sure Mike was okay.

"You know, I watched the one and only episode of Chris' cooking show a few years ago," said Jack. "It was the most awful cooking show I've ever seen."

"How can you even think about that at a time like this?!" Holly was holding Satchimo tightly in her lap to comfort herself, but it wasn't working, she was frantic. "Our son is at the mercy of a sadist on a deadly island. What is wrong with him? How could he do this? There must be something we can do, we have to get him off that show!" she said as they watched the boat they were on explode.

"As much as I hate to say it, he's a man now, and we have to respect his decisions."

"How are you so calm about this? Someone is sure to find out about his MPD and take advantage of it, and then he'll just be a big joke to the whole world. Or worse, get himself killed or maimed beyond recognition! Why aren't you freaking out?"

"I am freaking out, on the inside. If I let any of it show on the outside I'll explode. I'm trying to hold off the explosion as long as possible."

Satchimo wrangled himself out of her stranglehold and went over to the TV. Every time Mike was shown, he would whimper and put a paw on the screen, trying to get to him.

They watched the rest of the episode and as the credits rolled, Jack said, "Well, he survived day one."

"I'm going to kill him," said Holly for the hundredth time. She took out her laptop and got back to work on a paper she was writing for an online college class. She was working to become a counselor for families with children with mental disorders, since she already had so much experience. She would still cut hair and do nails on the side. Normally, doing the homework assignments was tedious and boring, but now they served as a distraction so she didn't have to worry so much about Mike. She was already weeks ahead of everyone else because she couldn't seem to stop herself. For once, homework relaxed her.

As she typed away on her computer, she said, "You know, that girl on the show seemed nice, what was her name?"

"Zoey, I think. She's nice and cute, maybe Mike has a shot with her."

"No, he doesn't," she sighed. "She'll end up being another Lucy, you just wait and see."

"Not every girl in the world is like that. Give her a chance."

"I hope he doesn't get his hopes up. It's bad enough he'll probably end up breaking his neck, he doesn't need his heart broken, too."

* * *

There were several hours of footage recorded, but there was only enough time for twenty minutes worth, so they only included the juiciest moments. This meant that a lot went on that the audience never saw.

On his second day on the island, Mike was in his cabin. He had waited for everyone to leave, and then he went to his suitcase and took out his pills. As he was about to take the first one, the door opened and in came Brick and Sam. It was too late to try to hide the bottles.

"Nothing like a morning jog to wake you up!" said Brick. "Hey, this isn't your cabin."

"Oh, sorry. I got so wrapped up in my game that I went to the wrong cabin." He looked up from his Game Guy and noticed Mike's pill bottles. "What's that you're taking?"

"Um…" These pills were just for anxiety and depression, they wouldn't give him away, but it was still embarrassing. "I was sick a few days ago, and even though I'm better I have to keep taking them to make sure it doesn't come back."

"Hold on, my mom takes those, they're for depression," said Brick. "And that other one is for anxiety. Why'd you lie, soldier?"

"It's not exactly something I'm proud of."

"Those pills are soldiers fighting the enemy, it's a noble cause. Nothing to be embarrassed about."

"You really think so?"

"Don't think of them as meds, think of them as energy pellets. They give you the power to slay the boss and rescue the princess," said Sam.

Mike smiled. "I never thought of them like that before."

"And speaking of bosses, I'm fighting one right now!" Sam ran out of the cabin, and as he did he shouted, "You've met your match, Eggman!"

Mike wasn't ashamed of his pills anymore, for the first time he didn't mind taking them. He put on his shoes and then walked to the main lodge. He got his tray, and as he was looking for a table he saw Zoey waving him over to hers.

"Hi Zoey," said Mike cheerfully.

"Good morning, Mike. I'm not sure what breakfast is, but it's not so bad."

Mike set down his plate and then sat beside Zoey. He took a bite of whatever was on his plate and made a face.

"It's still pretty bad, though," said Zoey.

"So, what are you doing after breakfast? I'm pretty sure there's no challenge today."

"I was thinking about going swimming, would you like to join me?"

"Sure! I love swimming."

They only ate a few bites of breakfast, and then they went to their cabin to change. They passed by Jo and Brick, who were jogging and showing off for each other. They also passed Lightning, who was weightlifting and sweet-talking his muscles.

When they met up at the water, they didn't waste any time and dove right in. Zoey wondered why he was wearing a shirt to swim with, but she didn't mind.

"Race you to the buoy!" said Mike. He took off swimming, and she chased him. Mike was about to win, but he slowed down just enough so that Zoey would get there first.

"I won!" she said happily. "But you're a great swimmer. Do you swim often?"

"Not much, but I do it every chance I get."

Zoey splashed him playfully, and after a brief moment of surprise, he splashed back. They laughed and splashed until Zoey gasped.

"Something brushed past my leg!"

"Maybe it was a fish."

"I think it was a shark, and I know this is going to sound crazy, but it felt like it had legs."

Mike pictured a shark with legs in his mind, it was terrifying. "Let's get back to shore."

They swam back quickly and then sat down on the warm sand. There was no sign from the beach of what had brushed past her leg. Zoey calmed down once they were out of the water.

"I should have remembered Chris stocks the water with sharks. But it was still fun."

"I had fun, too." He started digging a hole in the sand, and Zoey caught on quickly to what he was doing. She helped him fill the hole with water, and then they went into the water to catch fish and hermit crabs.

"I found a starfish!" said Zoey.

"It'll complete our aquarium," said Mike as he put three hermit crabs in the water. She put the starfish in and added a few shells.

"It's beautiful, I used to make these when we went to the beach when I was little," said Zoey as they admired it.

"I've never been to an aquarium before, but these are close enough. Wouldn't it be cool if we had tiny dolphins, whales and octopuses to add?"

"Oh yeah, and a tiny ship to sail in it, but then it would be more of a little ocean than a little aquarium. I used to pretend I was swimming in my pools like a mermaid… but that was when I was younger, I don't do it anymore." She tacked that on to the end so she wouldn't sound weird.

Mike didn't want her to get up and leave yet, so he quickly racked his brain for conversation topics. "So, um, what bands do you like?"

"I'm into indie stuff, it's all pretty obscure, you've probably never heard of it." She giggled and said, "That sounded so hipster, I'm sorry."

"Well, you're right, I have never heard of it."

"That's okay, I don't really know anyone that likes it."

"Why don't you let me listen to some of your music? Did you bring an iPod?"

"Yeah, I snuck one in. But you probably wouldn't like it, I don't want to waste your time."

"I like pretty much any music, I'm not picky. And if it means I get to spend more time with you, then it's definitely not wasted."

Zoey blushed. She rose to her feet and said, "I'll go get my iPod, don't move a muscle!"

"I won't!" He couldn't get rid of the stupid grin on his face.

Zoey hurried back with her iPod. She handed him an earbud and kept one for herself. They both laid down in the sand and listened to her music together.

"I'll only play my favorites, and I won't make you listen to too many so you don't get sick of it."

After the first song ended, Mike said, "It's not my favorite kind of music, but I don't have a favorite. I think your music is great, I could listen to every song, all day."

"I'm glad you don't hate it."

They listened to her music for hours, lying in the warm sun. They didn't talk much, they let the music carry them.

"Hey, could you two move? You're in the way of my photo shoot."

Mike and Zoey had fallen asleep. They woke up to see Dakota standing over them. It was now late afternoon.

"Sorry Dakota," said Zoey as Mike stood up and helped her back to her feet.

"It's no problem, it's just that the paparazzi can't hang around here forever. Chris keeps forcing them away, he's such a meanie."

"I'll see you later, Mike," said Zoey. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I had a wonderful time today, we should do it again soon. Unless you don't want too…"

"No, no, I do, I really do. Today was the best."

She smiled and waved, and he waved back. He went back to his cabin. On his way there, he saw Scott kneeling down behind a bush, spying on his team. It unsettled him a little, he was glad he wasn't on their team. He went to his bunk and took his sketchpad out of his suitcase. He started drawing Zoey, the way she had looked on the beach. He had already drawn the way she had looked on the boat.

Unlike most of his drawings, this one he was proud of. Zoey looked stunning in it. He couldn't ever let her see it though, she would think it was weird. He just wanted to make sure he never forgot the way she looked when she made him smile.

Zoey went back to sit outside her cabin, smiling to herself. She took out her secret diary and started writing in it. The diary was purple, and it had a lock on it. This diary was where she kept her most personal thoughts, ones she didn't want to share with the entire world in the confessional.

_Dear diary, _

_Yesterday, I was afraid Mike was only being nice to me to be polite, but he actually seems to like me. He's so sweet, and funny too, I really like him. I've never felt this way about anyone before, it's confusing and wonderful at the same time. That old man routine was weird, but I can respect his love of acting if he can respect my taste in music. And he's actually intelligent and good-looking, the planets must have been in some strange alignment when he was born to produce such a result. He looks kind of familiar, I wonder if we've ever seen each other before. No, it's probably just my imagination playing tricks on me._

_I hope he'd be okay with hanging out again tomorrow._

* * *

"Hey Dawn, have you seen Zoey?"

Mike had spent the day preparing a surprise for Zoey, but now he had to find her. It was near dusk, and activity was slowing down around camp. The day before, they won the second challenge and Svetlana had made her first appearance. No one suspected the truth, which was a big relief.

Dawn was in the lotus position outside her cabin. "Yes, she's in her cabin."

"Thanks Dawn."

He was about to take off, but she took him by the hand. "I just want you to know that you don't need to be afraid around me, I won't say a word to the others about the other parts of your aura."

"What do you mean?" he asked. He had a sinking feeling that he knew exactly what she meant.

"Your aura is like a rainbow, and rainbows are beautiful things. It's very unique, don't be ashamed of it."

"Um, do you know why it's like a rainbow?" he asked, feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable.

She nodded. "But don't worry, Mike, you're just as sane as I am."

"Great, thanks."

"From what I've seen in Zoey's aura, she's quite accepting of the uniqueness in others. In some cases it may take time, but she won't hold it against you."

"Um, sure." He was getting more creeped out with each second. He'd like to be her friend maybe, if she wasn't so good at reading him, or if she would at least keep it to herself.

"You know, I know some mental exercises that might do you good, if you'd like to learn."

"Thanks Dawn, maybe some other time. Um, I'd like to go find Zoey now, if you don't mind."

"That's okay, I read in the tea leaves for every contestant when I came here, and when I read for you, I saw that our paths will cross again on another day. But I just want to say one more thing. What happened when you were a child wasn't your fault, you did everything you could. It was the fault of your parents."

"What are you talking about? My parents never did anything to me. I'm going to get Zoey."

"All right, see you later, Mike," she said with a smile.

She really gave him the creeps, but he forgot all about it once he saw Zoey leaving the cabin.

"Hey, Mike, you want to go to the main lodge for dinner?" she didn't seem very thrilled about it.

"Actually, no, I have something better in mind, but it's a surprise." He covered her eyes with his hands and started leading her forwards.

"We're almost there, no peeking."

"I'm so excited! Come on, give me a hint."

"No hints, because we're already here. Surprise!"

Mike uncovered her eyes and she gasped. She saw a table with a white tablecloth lit with candlelight. There were two red cloth place mats and dishes that smelled delicious.

"Mike, this is beautiful." He pulled out her chair for her and she sat down. "What's all this for?"

"Well, you've been living on Chef's food since we got here, it's been a week since you've had anything that won't make you have to get your stomach pumped. I thought you deserved a real meal. This is all from Chris' banquet trailer. Chris fired his personal chef last night because he used tap water instead of spring water to boil his noodles, so the trailer was empty. I spent all day in there cooking." He didn't mention the fact that a couple times the food nearly burned because he kept daydreaming about her.

"You made all this yourself? Aw, that's so sweet. So, what do we have to eat?"

"Lasagna with butter rolls and salad, with lava cakes and ice cream for dessert."

"Sounds delicious," said Zoey.

Mike served their food and poured soda in wine glasses, but as he was pouring he accidentally spilled some on the table and it went into Zoey's lap.

"Oh geez, I'm so sorry!" he said as he handed her napkins to clean up with. He was so embarrassed, why couldn't he do anything right?

"Hold on a second." She took her place mat and tied it around her waist, and she managed to make it look cute. "Voila! It's like it never even happened."

Mike let out a sigh of relief that she wasn't mad at him. "I'm sorry I'm such a klutz."

"Well, everyone comes with a flaw of some kind. You're so cool that to balance it out you're a little clumsy. I think it was a worthwhile trade."

He grinned, and Zoey took a bite and said, "Oh my God, this is amazing. Where did you learn to cook?"

"From my dad, he's a professional chef. He made sure I knew how to cook so that I could cook for my future girlfriend and impress her," said Mike as he blushed.

"I am impressed," she said with a smile, and he grinned from ear to ear.

They finished the lasagna and moved on to dessert. They put ice cream on top of their cakes and decorated them with sprinkles and hot fudge.

"You have to give me the recipe for these cakes," said Zoey. "This is the best dessert I've ever had."

"I'm glad you like it, I was worried it wouldn't turn out right."

"Everything is perfect." She kissed him on the cheek, sending sparks coursing through him like electricity. The kiss put him in a daze, it almost knocked him over. It was only a kiss on the cheek, but it was the first time a girl had ever kissed him that wasn't acting in a play, and it was a kiss from the coolest girl in the universe.

"I feel so comfortable around you, Mike," said Zoey as she held his hand. "I'm always afraid I'll say the wrong thing and get on someone's nerves or something, I never thought I'd be able to open up to anyone, but I don't worry about that with you."

"I feel the same way about you." That was truthful in most matters, but not the most important. She didn't need to change a thing about herself to impress him, but he was going to have to try to change a huge chunk of himself to make a relationship between them possible.

"I really feel like I can trust you, and even if I don't win, I'm just glad I got to meet you. You're a really cool person."

Mike felt guilty, she trusted him and he was betraying that trust. But he replied, "Same here. No matter how the game plays out, as long as we're friends or… maybe a little more than friends, I don't care about the money."

She smiled, then said, "It's late, I'd better get to bed. Who knows when Chris is going to spring the next challenge on us, we've got to be ready. Thanks again for dinner, it was fantastic."

"Anything for you."

She smiled again and then went walking back to her cabin. Mike was overjoyed, for once he'd finally done something right.

* * *

"At least try to keep it in your pants, Vito," said Jack as they watched the third episode.

"How has no one caught on to the truth by now?" asked Holly. "They really think it's all an act? Mike admitted to having MPD in the confessional, Chris must know about it by now, why haven't they sent him home?"

"Holly, they can't give someone the boot just because they have a mental disorder, that would be cruel and unfair. Would you really want that to happen to Mike, or to anyone?"

"No, of course not. I just want my baby back."

"And even if they did give him the boot, he wouldn't come straight home, he'd go to that resort where they keep the losers. It's not home, but it's still a million times safer than the island."

They weren't sure how to feel when he first admitted to having multiple personalities on the show. On one hand, people would know that Mike wasn't a two-timing jerk, but on the other, the media was sure to hound him over it. They decided to not pay attention to the tabloids and cross that bridge when they came to it.

"I won't stop panicking until he's home with me so I can protect him from the cold, cruel world out there."

"You can't baby him forever."

"Just because that's true doesn't mean I have to accept it. He's the only baby I'll ever have, I can baby him all I want."

"If only that were true. We have to face facts, he doesn't need us anymore. He's grown up now, he's ready to make a life for himself in the real world."

Since Mike's disorder had so often put him in danger, it made them very overprotective of him. They wanted him to spread his wings, but at the same time they wanted to shield him from everything and keep him from physical and emotional harm. They wanted to keep him at home where it was safe, but now he had gone out on his own, and it was hard for them to cope and come to terms with it.

"Are you trying to make me cry? Because if you keep this up I'm going to be a blubbering mess and you'll be the one who has to deal with it."

"But you know, I'm starting to root for him. His team has won the last two challenges, maybe he has a real shot at winning."

"I guess I want him to win, too. The money would cover surgery if he gets mutated like those animals. Someone's going to get turned into an orange Godzilla thing by the end of the season, mark my words."

"They wouldn't let that happen to a contestant, think of the lawsuits."

"I'll bet you ten bucks."

"You're on."

* * *

The day after Dawn was eliminated, Zoey wrote in her diary.

_Dear diary,_

_I was okay with it when Mike introduced his new character, Svetlana. She seems okay, and she was a big help to us in the obstacle course. But Vito is another story. _

_We were in the middle of a challenge, and he all of a sudden decides to bring out a new character. I wouldn't have minded if he hadn't started flirting with Anne Maria. And then he brought Vito out again in the next challenge and she kissed him! And he went along with it! Did he really think that just because he was playing a character he could go around kissing anyone he wanted? Did he think I wouldn't mind? _

_Mike is allowed to date anyone he wants, but why does he make me feel so special and then turn around and make me feel like dirt? I thought he was sweet and nice, but now it just feels like he's been using me this whole time. I won't have any hard feelings if he wants Anne Maria, but he can't keep stringing us both along like this. Mike is going to have to choose, and if he doesn't choose soon… then I'll choose for him. I need someone loyal, someone who wants only me. And right now, it's looking less and less like it's going to be Mike._

She closed her diary and put it in her pocket and went outside. She passed by Jo and Brick, who were having an arm-wrestling match. Jo said, "You know, if I was dating a guy and he pulled the kind of crap on me that Mike is pulling on you, I'd tear his arms and lips off, see how many bases he gets to after that." Brick shuddered almost imperceptibly.

"I could never do a thing like that!" said Zoey, appalled.

"You just have to find your inner warrior, then no boy will ever cross you again." Jo won the match. "But at least he's bringing out your anger, that's a start. It'll come in handy in winning challenges."

"I don't like feeling angry, I hate feeling this way."

"It's obvious he likes you, you don't need eyes to see that," said Brick as he rubbed his sore arm. "I think he's just a little confused. It's like he gets so into character he forgets he's in the real world. But don't give up on him just yet."

"I don't want to give up on him, I'm giving him another chance, but he's making it really hard."

She continued walking, but Scott ran into her. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going. I was just thinking about Dawn, I still can't believe she betrayed our whole team. It's upsetting to think that someone I trusted would turn on us like that."

"Dawn seemed so nice, I can't believe it either."

"At least I know there are some people on this island who would never betray their teammates," he said as he gave her a meaningful look.

"Yeah, being able to trust someone is a wonderful thing."

"I'll let you be on your way now, thanks for the pep talk. I feel better already."

"See you later, Scott."

She walked to the edge of the forest and sat down. Anne Maria passed by and shot daggers at her with her eyes. She glared right back, but she felt more hurt than angry.

Mike was sitting on the dock, feeling terrible. Vito had started making moves on Anne Maria again right after he had promised Zoey he would stop. Why did he make that promise? There was no way he could ever keep it. And then Anne Maria kissed him, right in front of her. Zoey was pulling further and further away, if this kept up she wouldn't want to have anything to do with him at all. He had to make it up to her and win her trust back, but how? He had to find her, he needed to talk to her.

As he was looking for her, he noticed Cameron standing a ways off with a notepad, scribbling something down. When he noticed that Mike was looking at him, he stuffed the notepad into his pocket and tried to act like he hadn't been doing anything. Mike thought it was weird, but he didn't give it much thought. He also noticed Scott reading a little purple book on the steps of his cabin. Funny, he didn't seem like much of a reader to him.

Anne Maria came up behind him and put her hands over his eyes. "Guess who, hot stuff."

He removed her hands from his eyes. "Anne Maria, you do know that Vito is just a character, right?"

"I know what you're doin', you're playin' hard to get, I love it when guys do that. But I know you can't resist me for long. Let's just take off that pesky shirt…" she started to pull his shirt up, but he yanked it back down.

"No, we're friends, nothing more. I know it's my fault, I came onto you and I gave you the wrong idea and I'm sorry, but I like Zoey."

"You're good at that. All right, keep playin' hard to get, but that's shirt's comin' off sooner or later, sooner if I have anything to say about it."

She went on her way, and Mike kept going. How was he ever going to get her to stop liking him? The only way would be to have Vito break up with her, but he would never do that.

He spotted Zoey at the edge of the woods, looking sad and lonely. He hated seeing her this way, he had to fix this. He saw some flowers growing, and he briefly considered picking them for her. But that would send the message that he thought she could be bought with flowers, and he knew it would take a lot more than a little gift to fix things between them.

"Hey Zoey," he said gently. "Mind if I sit here?"

"You can if you want," she said without looking at him.

"I don't know what came over me in the last challenge, I just-"

"Don't make up excuses. If you want to be with Anne Maria then that's fine. You don't have to use your characters as an excuse to flirt with her or anyone, if you like her then go be with her, I won't stop you."

"But I don't want to be with Anne Maria, I don't like her that way."

"You could have fooled me."

"I'm sorry, I know that my behavior recently has been inexcusable, and my characters are way out of control. I know I need to retire them, but I just can't."

"Because you love acting more than anything else, apparently."

"It's a habit now, because I've been doing it for so long. These characters just come so naturally, it's, um… it's common for method actors to get too wrapped up in their characters, sometimes I forget to be just Mike. But I'm working on it, because I think you're the best."

"In my school, there are some people I call hoppers. I call them that because it seems like they're always hopping from one girlfriend or boyfriend to the next, sometimes in a matter of weeks, sometimes in a matter of days, or even hours. The jocks especially do it, they're practically worshipped there. I've seen them with more than one girlfriend at a time, and the girls don't seem to mind sharing, at least for a little while, anyway. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I could never be in a relationship like that. I thought you were different, Mike, but now I think I was wrong. I thought you liked me, but then you started leading me and Anne Maria both on, and so I don't know what to think. I trusted you, and you betrayed me. How would you feel if I went and kissed one of the other guys right in front of you? Put yourself in my shoes for a minute. Is this a game to you? Is the connection I thought we had fake? Are my feelings just a big joke to you?"

Mike looked away from her, down at his hands in his lap, and said nothing. He couldn't argue that, he had given her every reason in the world to think so poorly of him. The only way to make her understand would be to tell her the truth, but he couldn't bring himself to. He had made the decision that he wasn't going to compare her to Lucy, but he was afraid that if she or anyone else found out the truth that something similar would happen to Lucy's prank, or worst of all, Zoey would despise him.

He thought of Trent, and how he might still be dating Gwen if he had only told her the truth from the beginning. She knew now and was very understanding of it, maybe Zoey could, too. But no, OCD and MPD were two very different things, having multiple personalities was a hundred times worse than a fixation on the number nine. He wanted to believe that she would be understanding, but he couldn't risk it, he couldn't take that chance. He believed he had a better chance of making things up to her if she didn't find out the truth for as long as possible.

"I like you Mike, I really do, and I'm fine with you playing characters, but the way you were leading us on, it wasn't fair to either of us. If you like me then show it, if you want to be with Anne Maria then just tell the truth, but please don't lead me on anymore. I want you to be honest, I don't want you to fake feelings for me or for anyone. If I ever have a boyfriend, I'm not sharing him with anyone, and I want him to respect me and like only me. I need to be able to rely on you, I need to be able to trust you. I think you need to do some serious thinking about what you really want."

She got up and walked away, leaving him there by himself. He felt miserable and helpless. He couldn't lose Zoey, he needed her. She made him feel normal, or as close to normal as he could ever feel. She made him feel like his existence mattered, she made him feel good about himself, something he couldn't do on his own. What kind of life could he have without her? He didn't want to go back to his old life of loneliness. It just didn't seem like his life was worth living without Zoey there by his side. This situation gave the old saying, 'between a rock and a hard place' new meaning. He didn't know what to do.


End file.
